Unplanned pregnancy

[Naturalmystic]

I am currently pregnant with my second baby and even though I planned to have my kids close together I did not plan for my babies to be this close in age. As you can imagine I went through alot of emotions when I found out that I was pregnant from shock, guilt, happiness, embarassment the whole nine yards. But with the support and words of encouragement from DH, friends and family I am excited most days but I must admit that I am scared alot of the days too since I worry how I will deal with a toddler and a new born baby.

Anyway I was just wondering whether anyone will support an unplanned pregnancy forum for ladies who find themselves in a similar situation. I realise now this is very common since almost one third of pregnancies are unplanned. Please note that I said unplanned and not unwanted so bear that in mind before anyone gets offended. I just think that it will be nice to have a place where people can speak about their fears and get words of encouragement and support from people who is probably going through the same or went through it before.

Having support and people to talk to really made coming to terms with the pregnancy a whole lot easier and I know that I am lucky to have a great DH but I can't help but think about the thousands of lovely ladies out there who does not have that support.

 

[LegoHouse]

I don't think there is a need to split planned and unplanned pregnancies if they are both wanted pregnancies x

 

[Naturalmystic]

I disagree because my first baby was planned and the emotions and feelings I felt during that pregnancy was different than what I feel with this one.

 

[LegoHouse]

Same... but I think my emotions would be different the second time even if they were both planned or both unplanned x

 

[Naturalmystic]

I totally agree as I expected it to be different for my next baby but I am pretty sure if this baby had been planned some of the emotions that I went through in the beginning would not have been an issue. I definitely would not have needed those words of encouragement from DH and my family since I would have felt more prepared. Maybe its a personal thing because I am such a planner.

 

[creolechica3]

I am currently pregnant with my second baby and even though I planned to have my kids close together I did not plan for my babies to be this close in age. As you can imagine I went through alot of emotions when I found out that I was pregnant from shock, guilt, happiness, embarassment the whole nine yards. But with the support and words of encouragement from DH, friends and family I am excited most days but I must admit that I am scared alot of the days too since I worry how I will deal with a toddler and a new born baby.

Anyway I was just wondering whether anyone will support an unplanned pregnancy forum for ladies who find themselves in a similar situation. I realise now this is very common since almost one third of pregnancies are unplanned. Please note that I said unplanned and not unwanted so bear that in mind before anyone gets offended. I just think that it will be nice to have a place where people can speak about their fears and get words of encouragement and support from people who is probably going through the same or went through it before.

Having support and people to talk to really made coming to terms with the pregnancy a whole lot easier and I know that I am lucky to have a great DH but I can't help but think about the thousands of lovely ladies out there who does not have that support.

I wud support it....I to had a second unplanned pregnancy when my son was 2yrs old I got pregnant with my daughter I was very scared nd nervous to hve a toddler nd a newborn nd not to mention I was a single mother but I had support from friends and family.....and I was able to make it through now my son is 8yrs and my daughter is 6yrs old nd I am pregnant again unexpectdly nd I was suprise to find out I was 16 1/2 weeks I couldnt believe it tht I had bypassed the entire first trimester...wit out syptoms but I am going to embrace it I am excited at times nd sometimes I am scared because I am a single mom nd its been a while since I had a newborn bby so it would b nice to talk to other ladies who can relate......

 

[hellohefalump]

I'd support it, it might also be nicer for the people who are long term trying to concieve, because it won't 'rub it in their faces' so much when someone gets pregnant by accident and isn't entirely thrilled.

My daughter wasn't planned, but I don't regret having her she is very much wanted.

 

[NuKe]

all my pregnancies have been planned, but I think a seperate area for unplanned pregnancies would be a great idea!

 

[keepthefaithx]

Its a blessing ...

I wish i had even 1 baby....

 

[kit10grl]

I wouold support this also having just found myself in the same position, we wanted two but not quite THIS close together. I do feel it brings a lot of different emotions than a planned pregnancy and a pregnancy after long term TTC.

There are TTC forums where women can discuss the planning stages and how they feel, i think its a good idea where some of us can discuss the shock and feelings of being unprepared. Ive had moments where I have thought OMG how did i let this happen so soon, and yes this is a very wanted pregnancy but sometimes i do feel a little stupid for getting pregnant so quick and wouldnt feel comfortablke posting that for some one long term TTC who is so grateful for their pregnancy, (I was two years to concieve my first, hence the reason we thought it would take longer for this time.)

It would also be a place we could post without our unplanned posts being in the same place as someones early miscarriage post. I feel that must be very hard for those posting miscarriage posts to see. If it was seperate they would have the option of not having to see them

 

[ZombieQueen]

I'd definitely support this, I find it somewhat hard to talk about how I'm feeling because although my baby is 110% wanted, she was very unexpected and I feel like expressing my uneasy emotions might offend or stir up unwanted trouble. I considered adoption for a long time, and even though I now could never even dream of giving her away, I still find myself thinking "holy crap, can I actually do this?!"

 

[majm1241]

I would support it! This pregnancy was unplanned but very much wanted of course. It was a big shock and my emotions still get the best of me because My DH is in the US Army and will be leaving to Korea soon after she is born. I am excited for her arrival but sad he has to miss the first year like he did with our son while he is away for a year.

 

[rockabillymom]

This pregnancy for me was very unplanned. It was an emotional rollercoaster for me because we werent ready for another baby. I just had DD only a year ago and was hoping to wait till she was in school till we tried for another. I think it would be nice for an unplanned pregnancy section so that you can vent your feelings more cause most people on here are trying to get pregnant so its hard to talk about how you really didnt want this at first.

 

[dustbunny]

I like the principle of the idea but I feel that creating another forum for 'unplanned' pregnancies would also include people who found out they were pregnant and were not happy about it and decided against the dreaded and banned A word. I think it might open up a whole new can of worms.
Yes some pregnancies which are unplanned are considered miracles, some women do accept they are pregnant and are excited but some don't. And I don't think a lot of women on here would appreciate reading about women going down that path whilst they are desperately trying to conceive.

 

[Sassychic]

I would definitely support it as this second pregnancy of mine was unplanned and I had a mix of emotions during the early parts.

We all have the option to skip over threads/sections that do not apply to us or would make us upset.

 

[kit10grl]

I like the principle of the idea but I feel that creating another forum for 'unplanned' pregnancies would also include people who found out they were pregnant and were not happy about it and decided against the dreaded and banned A word. I think it might open up a whole new can of worms.
Yes some pregnancies which are unplanned are considered miracles, some women do accept they are pregnant and are excited but some don't. And I don't think a lot of women on here would appreciate reading about women going down that path whilst they are desperately trying to conceive.

I think thats actually the best reason to create a seperate area. Those that dont want to read dont need to pick through these posts in the tri-forums or pregnancy club, they have the option to not see them at all if they are in a seperate place.

We have a place to celebrate for those who have been TTC, it would be nice to have a place for those who werent to express how they feel too where they wont be judged by people who might struggle to understand their point of view, because of how they feel about their own pregnancy/ TTC journey

 

[dustbunny]

I like the principle of the idea but I feel that creating another forum for 'unplanned' pregnancies would also include people who found out they were pregnant and were not happy about it and decided against the dreaded and banned A word. I think it might open up a whole new can of worms.
Yes some pregnancies which are unplanned are considered miracles, some women do accept they are pregnant and are excited but some don't. And I don't think a lot of women on here would appreciate reading about women going down that path whilst they are desperately trying to conceive.

I think thats actually the best reason to create a seperate area. Those that dont want to read dont need to pick through these posts in the tri-forums or pregnancy club, they have the option to not see them at all if they are in a seperate place.

We have a place to celebrate for those who have been TTC, it would be nice to have a place for those who werent to express how they feel too where they wont be judged by people who might struggle to understand their point of view, because of how they feel about their own pregnancy/ TTC journey

I'm not opposing the idea outright or trying to be awkward, more so playing devils advocate if you will.
But the forums are open to anyone and even though there are separate forums for different circumstances, that doesn't stop people from going from one to another. As a single mother to be I have seen women who have an OH/DH go onto the singles forum just to bash people because they fail to read the circumstances or just outright ignore them in favour of their own beliefs. As I have also seen on various forums people clashing over things, everything getting heated and threads either closed or 'cleaned up.' In the past I have seen threads by women who are confused and 99% of the replies are basically 'keep the child' more than 'here are the options'... if that makes sense. There will be people who will go onto such a forum just to push the whole pro-life concept.

 

[kit10grl]

I agree it might be difficult to police. And i do understand that some people would use the area as a 'help me decide' place, but those threads do still happen anyway and as they are gainst forum rules should really get removed wherever they are. Maybe having them in one place might make it easier for the mods to keep track of them?

As you've said there will always be trouble makers who go in areas of the forum where they maybe shouldnt post, but i would hope that they wouldnt be the main reason for not creating an area to discuss the feelings of this section of the members.

You have made me wonder now tho, its a shame that other people can be mean instead of supportive here. like the examples you gave there is really no need for it

 

[dustbunny]

I agree it might be difficult to police. And i do understand that some people would use the area as a 'help me decide' place, but those threads do still happen anyway and as they are gainst forum rules should really get removed wherever they are. Maybe having them in one place might make it easier for the mods to keep track of them?

As you've said there will always be trouble makers who go in areas of the forum where they maybe shouldnt post, but i would hope that they wouldnt be the main reason for not creating an area to discuss the feelings of this section of the members.

You have made me wonder now tho, its a shame that other people can be mean instead of supportive here. like the examples you gave there is really no need for it

The thing with forums on the internet is that people tend to say things they wouldn't dare to if face to face which I think is why there have been some really nasty comments and so forth from time to time.

But maybe if such threads were all in one place then, as you said, it would be a lot easier to moderate.

 

[baby287]

I would definitely support that. I 100% want my baby but he /she was also 100% unplanned lol I am thrilled about it, don't get me wrong but there is a lot of stress and anxiety felt when you find out you're pregnant and not ready. Great idea )