Valentines Babies, 2013!

[SierraJourney]

That is a beautiful line wamommy! So happy for you! I'm so sorry that things are looking so dark. I don't have much wisdom in that area (except would marriage counseling help? I've heard great stories about that helping!!). . .but I wanted to tell you that we're here for you when you have a bad day or need to vent. . .not just about babies. :flowers: Also, keep in mind that I'm sure hormones play a factor. . .but not all.

 

[helena]

Haha, I think it should be a recognized disease!

DH has been SO crabby the past few days. He was gone Friday night and most of the day Saturday helping his brother move some stuff to storage, and he came home Saturday evening in the worst mood. He was immediately being impatient with the babies, and almost yelling at them to "stop whining" (they were fine until he got home and then they were upset because of his tone of voice, I think).

Yesterday, I told him that my sister and I wanted to leave at 4pm to go grocery shopping. He wanted to empty some stuff out of his van before we left, but he kept getting sidetracked doing other things and didn't start until 3. I went out at 3:40 and reminded him that we needed to leave in 20 minutes if I was going to be able to get back in time to pump, and he got all irritated and said "I didn't even get to start until 3, I need to finish this now." I tried helping him to make it go faster, but we didn't end up leaving until 5:30

After the babies were in bed, DH was still majorly moody, so I asked him what was wrong. He just said he had had a bad day. I asked if there was anything I could to do help, and he told me to go wash the dishes

When I left for work this morning, he was still in a funk. All this time he doesn't speak to me unless I ask him a direct question, and then he gives me monosyllabic answers in a very flat tone of voice. He seems really depressed, but I'm not sure why or what I should do.

Could he be reading your baby n bump and know about the potential pregnancy and feel left out?!..

 

[helena]

That is a line and no disputing it!
Sorry you are feeling a bit sad. ((Hug)). I bet it is hormones. They are vicious things. Yours are going bonkers. Think about your happy times.
Ultimately, what will be will be. If all goes wrong, kids are adaptable. Very. And 4 doesn't box you in an more than 3. You deserve to be happy and feeling special, especially nw so speak with DH and say its probably hormones but you need some extra cuddles.

Xxxx

 

[SierraJourney]

I agree with helena, Dragon---maybe he's reading your bnb posts?

 

[DragonflyWing]

Could he be reading your baby n bump and know about the potential pregnancy and feel left out?!..

I don't think so. I only access bnb from my phone and my work computer, neither of which he has access to. He may have found one of my tests, but he would have just asked me about it. He's not one to be passive aggressive.

Last night I emptied out my stash drawer, and realized I have used 20 tests over the course of 7 days! That is ridiculous...AF needs to come before I really lose my grasp on reality

It also shows how crazy I am that I saw a line on all but maybe 2 out of those 20.

 

[SierraJourney]

Dragon. . .I think any one of us would have used that many too with all of the lines that we all saw! Are you testing tomorrow with a frer?

 

[DragonflyWing]

I suppose...if AF doesn't show up by then. I might just save it anyway.

I'm not pregnant. The odds of getting a faint positive at 8dpo, and still not being able to see the line at 14 dpo are pretty slim. Maybe there's something about my urine that makes me prone to evaps? I've never heard of someone getting 15+ evaps.

 

[SierraJourney]

I've never heard of that many evaps. It's crazy. I am still holding out hope for you that there will be a line next time you test!

 

[DragonflyWing]

Thanks

 

[wamommy]

Thanks ladies I love having you to vent to!

Honestly, in the back of my mind I always put up with this marriage because I think, "once the kids go to school I can finish my degree, and once I finish my degree I won't be dependent on DH financially and I can finally leave him." It's sad, but I've thought this for some time, now. Finding out I'm pregnant again makes that seem impossible. You're right, Helena, 4 isn't that different than 3, but a year seems like an eternity when I'm already 34. Who's going to hire a 40-year-old that's new to the workplace? I'm just feeling like I'll never be independent. I feel like a maid and a nanny in my own home. It's complicated, but my name isn't even on this HOUSE. DH put it in his parents' name so I wouldn't have claim to it in a divorce. Way to set a marriage up to fail, DH

Dragonfly, I don't get how you could have so many evaps, either! I hope for a positive tomorrow morning for you As for your DH, have you asked him why he's so moody? It sounds like something's going on with him that he hasn't shared. Maybe he's jealous of your relationship with your sister? or perhaps he did find a test? I don't know, but I'm sorry he's taking whatever it is out on you

 

[SierraJourney]

wamommy--if it's that bad, could you work it out to have a part time job that doesn't require a degree? Then you could work it while DH had the kids. I don't think you should be miserable. . . either your DH needs to work with you on working out the marriage (if that is what you wish), or you should look up other options. Do you have family you could live with? I'm huge on counseling, but know some people aren't up for it.

It's funny because I've been thinking lately how nice it would be to quit my job and just be a "maid and a nanny" in my own house! I'm lucky because I get to work from home. . .but I do envy you ladies that don't have to work!

 

[DragonflyWing]

wamommy, I'm sorry you're feeling so badly about your marriage . I would second Sierra's suggestion of marriage counselling...do you think something like that could help?

Yeah, I don't know why my DH is being such a crabbypants. It's possible he's upset about my sister living with us...he seems to be dissatisfied with the amount she's helping with the kids and around the house. It seems like we were not on the same page when we discussed her moving in...he had different expectations than I realized. For some reason, he won't talk to her about any of it, he just complains to me and wants me to talk to her. She's starting school and her new job next week, so it won't be an issue for much longer...he won't expect her to help as much after that point.

I hate when DH and I aren't communicating well. I feel isolated and trapped, like my life is not in my control.

 

[helena]

I wouldn't even worry about counseling yet - I bet it is hormones. And genuine fear. Lets face it, 4 is scary! But brilliant
And lets not forget you are sleep deprived...

Take time thinking. hoping its not really so badx x x

 

[DragonflyWing]

Turns out DH just needed some cuddles...he was feeling lonely and distant from me just like I was feeling!

He was all grumpy and short with me when I got home from work, and I just forced him into a hug. Within seconds he relaxed and said how much he missed me while I was gone and said we need some quality time together. After the kids were in bed, we had some quality time and now he seems much better.

I told him that I suspected I was pregnant, and he said it was unlikely and I shouldn't have worried myself. That's what he said last time, and then later claimed that he knew all along

I'm about to go use my last FRER just to confirm, but I feel like AF will arrive at any moment. I'm sure it will wait until just after I test hehe.

 

[SierraJourney]

Oh Dragon--I'm so glad things are better with DH! It's so hard to care for babies and keep up a relationship with your spouse-- I find I constantly have to work at that, and I miss it when we are distant! So glad you got cuddles too!

Looking forward to the FRER!

 

[DragonflyWing]

Holy evap, batman! That damn blue dye. This was a cheapie store brand I took for the heck of it.

Pretty sure this FRER is negative.

 

[SierraJourney]

Oh my goodness! How long before that line appeared on the blue dye one? frer looks negative. that is so weird!!

 

[DragonflyWing]

It was more than 10 minutes, so almost definitely an evap.

Why do they even make blue dye tests if they so often give false "positives?" The average woman probably doesn't know what an evap is, and would completely think this was a positive result. Are pink dye tests that much more expensive to make? It seems unlikely.

 

[SierraJourney]

I agree. It's ridiculous! Or maybe if they use blue dye, people will get evaps and buy more tests. . .so therefore they make more money! I wouldnt' put that past the test companies!

 

[Kellen]

That is just so odd, Dragon. But I would agree that the FRER doesn't look too positive to me. But it is still a good thing you made Wamommy test or she wouldn't have known! And I'm glad that all your DH needed was cuddles. Mine was crabby last night too until I kept bugging him to tell me what was wrong. Apparently he was really upset that my mom hadn't called him personally to update him on her knee surgery and he was worried about her... awe.

Wamommy - I'm sorry you feel so trapped. But on a positive note with the way today's economy is it isn't all that unusual to see someone in their 30's starting a new career with little to no experience. Having an advanced degree is a good thing. I wouldn't worry about what people think. Because the workplace is being flooded with college graduates who have no options companies are more likely to pick up an older employee because of the life experience you have. I sat on quite a few hiring boards and this was typically the case. Thankfully I didn't look 23 when they hired me and they were later surprised. Thank goodness for all the grey hair I have!

We picked a fresh cantaloupe from the garden yesterday. I just cut it up for breakfast and it is AMAZING! I gave some to Teagen and she devoured it and is now on her third helping. It is the best fruit I have had in a long time. And more good news is my mom gets to come home a day early from her knee surgery. And I might get to fly down to the Bay Area to see my best friend who is also Teagen's godmother... who she's never met. Exciting!