VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

[CaliDreaming]

I've got a couple of rants to direct at myself...

I love to sew and knit baby gifts - so much that it usually doesn't bother me much that the gift isn't for my own baby. But after these last several unsuccessful TTC months I refused to attend two baby showers for coworkers this month. I didn't even send gifts. And I actually said to someone, "It's tacky to have a baby shower when it's not your first child." All because they both already have several healthy children each and I'm jealous. And even though I know that I was NOT NICE, I still have absolutely no desire to make it right.

Another rant...

I don't like the way I act without the benefit of birth control pills to prevent PMS. I hate the depression, anxiety and obsessive behavior. I don't like myself this way. I know I should be willing to do what it takes to conceive if I really want it, but I honestly don't know how long I'll be able to live this way. I wish I could stay on the pill AND get pregnant!

I hate the constant ache for a baby. I want to scream at people who keep telling me that I'm lucky I'm only 30 and that I've got years ahead of me.

I hosted a baby shower and spent most of the time in the kitchen avoiding speaking to anyone because I couldn't bare to talk about babies. What makes this even worse is that the lady I was hosting for had a long road with IVF. I'm the worst friend.

Ladies definitely don't feel bad about being jealous. You need to worry about taking care of yourself so if you don't feel you're able to be happy for pregnant women don't force yourself if you're not ready. I know when I was pregnant I was too wrapped up in preparing for the baby and enjoying the experience to keep tabs on who was and was not happy for me. When I was ttc the first time around it would take me weeks to get in the right frame of mind to go to a baby shower and even now if you catch me on a bad day I may not be up to one. It's a totally natural feeling.

Sibling vent. At what point am I allowed to kick out my sister? She's been living with us since April and can't find or keep a decent job. I don't want rent just help around the house but she sleeps until 4 and doesn't do her own dishes let alone help out with other chores. She used all my tampons and regularly finishes the milk it other things with out letting me know.

You are better than me because I wouldn't have let her stay in the first place. She'd have to go stay with mom.

 

[jcombs35]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

 

[hunni12]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

Hmmm I think faints could be a good sign. Digis can take a longer time to register than other tests. I would say wait a few days for hcg to double then test again. Do you have pictures of the tests?

 

[letbemommy]

So one thing that is getting to me is not knowing if I am pregnant or not! I have gotten BFN after BFN but still no sign of AF. I know that I have to wait until the 28th to get a blood test just to truely find out. I just want to know and not knowing is driving me up a wall and back! Plus my DB keeps going back and forth on me being PG or not! He can't even make up his mind what he thinks and im like please someone tell me!

 

[zoomlentil]

My rant of the day, not ttc related: Hypocrites! How I hate hypocrites! And yet I find myself surrounded by them..

 

[jcombs35]

So one thing that is getting to me is not knowing if I am pregnant or not! I have gotten BFN after BFN but still no sign of AF. I know that I have to wait until the 28th to get a blood test just to truely find out. I just want to know and not knowing is driving me up a wall and back! Plus my DB keeps going back and forth on me being PG or not! He can't even make up his mind what he thinks and im like please someone tell me!

I went through that in June. I was certain I was, but tests kept coming back BFN. I know how frustrating and stressful it is. I wish you the best!

 

[jcombs35]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

Hmmm I think faints could be a good sign. Digis can take a longer time to register than other tests. I would say wait a few days for hcg to double then test again. Do you have pictures of the tests?

Yes. https://s1163.photobucket.com/albums/q559/jcombs355/

 

[teako22]

I wish my body came with a manual. Plus one of those turkey popper things to tell me when it has finely happened would be nice.

 

[Trying2b2mums]

so sick of trying, and so sick of BFNs but i want a baby, do does DP... sick of the symptoms that make up my TWW, sick of imagining or forcing symptoms!!!! Everyone around me is pregnant, or has young ones and working on #2 or #3, sister has 2 boys and is looking forward to trying for a baby girl soon, and doesnt care to talk to me about me having my first!!! Whens it MY TURN!!

 

[PleaseLouise]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

Hmmm I think faints could be a good sign. Digis can take a longer time to register than other tests. I would say wait a few days for hcg to double then test again. Do you have pictures of the tests?

Yes. https://s1163.photobucket.com/albums/q559/jcombs355/

Almost certainly BFP! Digi's aren't as sensitive which may explain your BFN. CONGRATULATIONS xxxxx

 

[jcombs35]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

Hmmm I think faints could be a good sign. Digis can take a longer time to register than other tests. I would say wait a few days for hcg to double then test again. Do you have pictures of the tests?

Yes. https://s1163.photobucket.com/albums/q559/jcombs355/

Almost certainly BFP! Digi's aren't as sensitive which may explain your BFN. CONGRATULATIONS xxxxx

You think so even though this morning's was just as light as the first one I took? It's got me thinking I'm probably not...

 

[PleaseLouise]

They just don't look like any evap I've ever had! Also, surely you wouldn't get THAT many evaps? Keep me updated?xx

 

[jcombs35]

They just don't look like any evap I've ever had! Also, surely you wouldn't get THAT many evaps? Keep me updated?xx

That's exactly what I thought! Surely it's not 3 evap lines, or 3 false positives is it? I am just so darned confused and really the only thing I can do is wait. Waiting sucks. Nothing is worse than waiting!!!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

Hmmm I think faints could be a good sign. Digis can take a longer time to register than other tests. I would say wait a few days for hcg to double then test again. Do you have pictures of the tests?

Yes. https://s1163.photobucket.com/albums/q559/jcombs355/

Those definitely look like positives to me. There can be lots of reasons why the line isn't dark. Also I used Internet cheapies the first time around and always found that those lines were lighter than store brands. I only used a digi after the line started to get dark on the store brand because I knew they weren't as sensitive.

Hope those lines get darker for you soon!

 

[PleaseLouise]

Today's rant: people who complain about children being children! Yesterday hubby and i took our nieces out for a meal, they are 2 and 5, the amount of head shaking and tutting we had from people was ridiculous! Grrrrrr!!!

 

[jcombs35]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

Hmmm I think faints could be a good sign. Digis can take a longer time to register than other tests. I would say wait a few days for hcg to double then test again. Do you have pictures of the tests?

Yes. https://s1163.photobucket.com/albums/q559/jcombs355/

Those definitely look like positives to me. There can be lots of reasons why the line isn't dark. Also I used Internet cheapies the first time around and always found that those lines were lighter than store brands. I only used a digi after the line started to get dark on the store brand because I knew they weren't as sensitive.

Hope those lines get darker for you soon!

Thanks. I hope you're right.

 

[tamithomas]

Well, I'm back from the infamous weekend with the parents..and what do you know, my gutt feeling didn't fail. It was baby talk all weekend UGH. I could feel my uterus crying everytime to babys name got mentioned, mind you for a bad reason though. The poor LO of my SIL and Step Brother has a UTI. But still, I didn't wanna hear about it but it's my father in laws grandson so he had a right to be worried. Why can't i just turn these jealous feelings off like a light switch already!! Rest of the weekend went great though. Just so pissed everytime I hear about the accident LO from a girl who doesn't have a job, don't think she's graduated from high school and got the baby out of trickery by hiding the fact she stopped the pill from my step brother

 

[hunni12]

Wow...I didn't come in here for a while because I was going crazy with my issues.....

Anyways, my stupid body is ********. We've been ttc for 6 months now, and it's just one thing after another. First cycle, I had a huge kidney stone that needed surgery to break up, then had to have a stent in for 2 weeks. Finally got AF so we could start trying.

Everything goes okay, as I knew I probably wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Then about a week before AF is due in June, I start noticing symptoms. When AF didn't come, I assumed I was pregnant. Test after test came back negative. Even went to the doctor for blood test, and when it came back negative, she acted like I was stupid for even coming in....

Then I get AF in July, happy to start trying again, AF ends, and 4 days later I get weird spotting. Started out pink, turned bright red and then brown. So just for the heck of it, I poas. 3 faint positives later, everyone is telling me it would probably show up on a digi....

BFN on digital. I am sick of being confused. I am sick of symptom spotting. I am sick of thinking this is it, and then being disappointed, and I'm sick of my DH looking at me like I'm making all of this up!!!!


I am not trying to rub anything in anyone's face. I am truly very confused, and not even sure if I was getting a faint positive or an evap line....

Hmmm I think faints could be a good sign. Digis can take a longer time to register than other tests. I would say wait a few days for hcg to double then test again. Do you have pictures of the tests?

Yes. https://s1163.photobucket.com/albums/q559/jcombs355/

I agree with the other ladies that does look like bfp! I hear those IC's aren't as sensitive as they claim to be. Maybe buy a FRER. I'm rooting for you

 

[CdnEquestrian]

Agreed! Looks like a BFP to me, jcombs!!!! Congrats! Keep us posted!



AFM....yeast infection. Boo. The last time I had a yeast infection, I was like...10. I feel so dirty. I KNOW it's not caused by being dirty but still. Boo. Due to start second round of clomid in about a week too...so hoping it's cleared up by then.

 

[jcombs35]

Ha!! My spotting now has clots... took fmu test strip test this morning with faint line taking forever to show. So I was sitting here bummed out. I had a digi left that I was going to use in the morning, and I thought, "Screw it." So I went in and took it.....

"Pregnant."

Ha! At least now I know I'm not crazy... I trust the digital. Now to get to the doctor about this worrisome bleeding....