VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

[jcombs35]

God, my MIL can be stupid! We are planning a trip to Indiana in a couple weeks and have been working to get our vehicle in better condition. Last week, DH jokingly said that she should let us take her truck, which is nicer. She didn't say anything the whole way home, and just the other day I found out through BIL that she was angry and talking a bunch of crap. She thought DH was serious about it, even though BIL told her he was joking. She's still mad, and posting subtle things on facebook about how people just want to use her.

Why is it she can show so much emotion over something so incredibly stupid, and then tell me I probably just had a miscarriage without feeling a drop of any emotion? She is only happy when everyone has their heads up her rear end, and God forbid anyone ask a favor. Then she tries to talk down about DH to me about everything he needs to do and not do. No, he's not perfect, and yes, there is a lot of room for improvement, but look who raised him?

She had him very young, actually was on her 4th at age 22. She liked to party and had horrible boyfriends who treated her sons like crap. She's always been cold. She didn't cuddle them, tell them she loved them, or really show any interest in their life. So now that she's older she wants to come back and wonder why they are the way they are?

My hubby has issues. I won't deny it. But he works hard to support his family, and he loves his kids and shows it a hell of a lot better than she ever could. He's turned out quite well despite her horrible parenting. Now she wants to disown us because of a stupid freakin joke?

 

[jojolabobo]

4magpies and LKPone! Thanks soo much for the advice. My Doctor didn't explain any of that. What is a HSG? I don't know anyone else who has been through anything like this before soo I completely didn't know what to expect.

I asked my doctor if I should expect a long wait and she was quite dismissive and when I pressed said not really. Don't know if she just wanted me off her case but if I know I've got a long wait then I can get myself in the right mindset.

I'm glad I vented now, at least I have a better idea of what to expect. Thanks Ladies XX

 

[4magpies]

A HSG is a special X-ray with dye injected into your uterus to check your tubes flow as they should.

It's a quick procedure and I guess you'll be sent for an ultrasound too to check your ovaries and linings for any problems. Have you also had CD5 and CD21 bloods yet? Your OH will prob be sent for a SA too if he hasn't had one already.

And happy to help. Feel free to message me if you need to know anything else.

xxx

 

[LKPone]

A HSG is a special X-ray with dye injected into your uterus to check your tubes flow as they should.

Yeah... that's the 'dye' part of the lap & dye procedure, isn't it? If not, then I'm just as clueless as you 4magpies, because that's what I've thought all along that I'm waiting for!

I was told that some local authorities do them separately (the HSG first) and some do them at the same time - mine just happens to do them at the same time.

 

[4magpies]

A lap and dye is a laparoscopy and dye which is key hole surgery and you are under general anaesthetic. They insert a camera in to your pelvic cavity after cutting you open. Ive had 3 of these. A hsg in comparison is less invasive, it's done whilst awake and a catheter is used to insert slightly radioactive dye into your uterus/tubes and X-ray is used to see what's going on.

And I'm far from clueless lol!! I wish I was!!

xxx

 

[4magpies]

And I've had both because the hsg shows inside the tubes in more detail.

The lap and dye only shows that they do flow, and you can only see the outside of the tubes.

Hence why my old FS sent me for both.

xxx

 

[J_Lynn]

I really liked my HSG ... I know that sounds weird, but I was happy to actually see what in the world was going on in there. I took a hydro before I went to pretty much get rid of all the pain, it only hurt for a total of maybe 3 seconds - and it wasn't bad pain, more like light cramping pain. My doctor is amazing and really helped I think; the better the doctor the less horrid the process lol

Magpies - did you bleed for a long time after your HSG? I had mine last Wednesday, and I am still bleeding! I don't get it. The Dr said if it doesn't stop by Thursday, then I should come in. But blah - I don't know if this is normal.

 

[Feisty Fidget]

I only had spotting for a few hours after my HSG - I would get it checked out J_Lynn as my Nurse advised it could be a sign of irritation/infection if it lasted for more then a few days. I'm sure it's nothing, but always best to get it checked out

 

[sojourn]

Not an angry vent, but a vent none the less.

I feel so alone.

My family doesn't understand my concerns for my fertility. Yes I am young, yes my family has a history of being prolific beyond belief at spawning. However, being on depo for 10+ years has be concerned. Whenever I express this concern they laugh at me and remind me that by virtue of having my last name I should already be pregnant. They are trying to reassure me, but it isn't working.

My friends are fairly young. Those that had children either had them unplanned or through not trying but not preventing. They are also disinterested and can't offer much information.

Even the internet has betrayed me. Everyone talks in this cryptic short hand that is impossible to understand. I spend so much time trying to decipher all of the CD5 DTD eod, blah blah that I can barely get any information. Even with the helpful post someone made to translate, it takes me so long to get past all of the random letters and numbers that I have a hard time getting to the actual information. I know it's just people's language that they are using because it is easier, but it makes me feel even MORE isolated and alone. Like, if I can't learn this special language, then I don't get to have access to support or information. I'm trying, but it is disheartening.

Blah...

Also, I'm sorry guys. I know basically everyone on all of these sites use these words, but I can't bring myself to understand/like them.
Baby dancing??!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?! I thought this was actually babies dancing, or maybe dancing like a baby. It's so weird to me! I can't wrap my brain around it. I guess it's like a cutesy euphemism??
My grandma told me once (when she overheard a friend of mine using some kind of euphemism for sex) "It's called sex!! If you can't say it then you sure as hell shouldn't be doing it". I'm not saying that people on this board should not be having sex (duh! That would make conception difficult!). I was raised to use the names of things penis, vagina and sex. So the baby dancing thing is soooo weird to me!!

Also I get weird if people will get upset or offended if I just say "sex" instead. Will they? I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but please? Can I please just say the word sex?

Along the same lines...baby dust? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! Given people's little fairy thing that is there when they say it, I *think* it is a play on fairy dust and seems to be some kind of luck thing. I think of babies being made into dust. This is the opposite of what I want. Am I such a complete outsider weirdo for getting skeeved out by baby dust?

Oh my. I really don't mean to offend anyone. These are JUST my weird thoughts and I don't know where else I can possibly release them.

 

[wellsk]

Don't worry Sojourn, it sounds like you're quite new to all this internet jazz? You will soon learn all the lingo... and even the best of us I think probably have moments where we're like 'what does that mean?'. You will eventually get used to some, and you will use the ones you're comfortable with.

I don't mind using the term DTD (doing the deed), but I would normally say 'sex' or 'intercourse'. I don't think anyone's going to mind you say that instead, we're all grown ups here

I think you'll probably find you'll get used to it really. The 'baby dust' thing is just another way of wishing women luck on the boards for TTC.

 

[Feisty Fidget]

sojourn when I first joined I used to have a seperate google page open to decipher abbreviations 2 years on and I am fluent It is easier to write as takes up less time etc.

We are all here for you and I don't think anyone would get offended by SEX we are after all, all doing it

 

[HWPG]

got a text from best friend "dr confirmed pregnancy! baby due in april!" then another one saying "you and OH need to get busy so we can have babies together!" - so i wrote back "it's not for lack of trying" - but i wanted to write: i would LOVE to get pregnant! let me just f-ing get right on that! oh what? i've been trying for 7 months, actively, and you NTNP twice and BFP? where's my magic wand? where's my rewind button for life? i should have been the one sending YOU that message, not the other way around.
then i wanted to crawl into a hole because i'm a bad friend.

 

[2012ttc]

you so not a bad friend HWPG! I soo know where your coming from, its so frustrating. Even on here, people complaining to be pregnant. ohhh what I would give for morning sickness! EVERYWHERE I go I see pregnant women, usually ones with 10 kids, none of which are wearing shoes or pants..jsut tshirts and diapers. Ugh.

 

[wellsk]

Oh HWPG, I'm so sorry. That must be so awful for you!
You're not a bad friend at all, if you were a bad friend you would've actually said those things to her. But you thought about how she would feel and you kept it to yourself. I think the way you're feeling is totally normal!
Fingers crossed for you sweet

 

[sojourn]

Thanks folks! I am glad I won't get kicked off for saying a dirty word or something. I get that we're all grown-ups, but it just seem everyone's talking about sex like nervous teenagers. Lots of quotation marks (ie. "trying"), giggles, apologies and tittering.
Makes sense though, most societies are so weird about sex we are programmed to not talk about it out loud. It's ok. I'm sure I'll get used to people wishing me luck with peeing on a stick and baby dust.

You are not a bad friend!!! It's hard and scary. Even before I was married and trying and wanting to have kids immediately I would get SO MAD when my friends would get pregnant! Even this year, actively taking birth control, one of my "wild" friends (who settled down some before, but still) got pregnant on accident. I was jealous and cranky.

You get to be jealous and cranky, you just don't get to rain on her parade. That's why you vent here and then smile and nod in real life.

 

[wellsk]

You've hit the nail on the head there Sojourn. In many cultures it's not acceptable to talk about sex with other people, even sometimes with your OH. Sometimes even just how you're brought up can completely change your views on sex. I really struggled to talk about anything related to it until I needed psychosexual counselling. Then I didn't have much choice, it made me feel a lot more comfortable about understanding sex and my own body. It taught me to able to ask for things sexually from my DH and we're a lot more experiemental now!

 

[Gunnhilde]

Thanks folks! I am glad I won't get kicked off for saying a dirty word or something. I get that we're all grown-ups, but it just seem everyone's talking about sex like nervous teenagers. Lots of quotation marks (ie. "trying"), giggles, apologies and tittering.
Makes sense though, most societies are so weird about sex we are programmed to not talk about it out loud. It's ok. I'm sure I'll get used to people wishing me luck with peeing on a stick and baby dust.

You'll get used to it. I think most of the way that people talk on here is much more open than they would be in real life, especially in terms of talking about semen and cervical mucus.

I'm ridiculously open about my sex life and always have been, but "sex" is just not a word I use very often anyway (I tend to use the more slang term that begins with f for it when talking to my OH). I do like the thing though.

 

[babymabey]

Thanks folks! I am glad I won't get kicked off for saying a dirty word or something. I get that we're all grown-ups, but it just seem everyone's talking about sex like nervous teenagers. Lots of quotation marks (ie. "trying"), giggles, apologies and tittering.
Makes sense though, most societies are so weird about sex we are programmed to not talk about it out loud. It's ok. I'm sure I'll get used to people wishing me luck with peeing on a stick and baby dust.

Five words: "Fifty Shades of Grey" Series. The backlash that that series is getting proves that people cannot stand to talk about sex. Instead of opening themselves up to something new, people who have not read it judge the people who have without knowing what the book is really about.

Don't feel slow for not understanding the "lingo" most of the time I have no idea what it means. One of the first things I figured out was that AF means Aunt Flo I was very proud of myself for figuring that out.

 

[Gunnhilde]

Five words: "Fifty Shades of Grey" Series. The backlash that that series is getting proves that people cannot stand to talk about sex. Instead of opening themselves up to something new, people who have not read it judge the people who have without knowing what the book is really about.

Don't feel slow for not understanding the "lingo" most of the time I have no idea what it means. One of the first things I figured out was that AF means Aunt Flo I was very proud of myself for figuring that out.

What backlash? It is quite popular around here for reasons I do not understand.

The subject matter is a little bit boring for someone who has been in the sub/dom lifestyle for 14 years, but whatever floats peoples' boats.

 

[LKPone]

And I'm far from clueless lol!! I wish I was!!

xxx

Argh, sorry!! I'm such a dork! I meant Jojolabobo, sorry! Ha ha!

And thanks for the clarification... I knew the part about general anaesthetic etc, but I honestly thought that the 'dye' part was the same procedure essentially as the HSG!