VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

[Gunnhilde]

So DH and I have been TTC for the last few months and had no success. I've changed my lifestyle - aka stopped drinking and been avoiding parties where everyone is drinking. My BIL and SIL are coming to town for the weekend with their DS who they conceived "on the first try, Of Course!" (bleh!) and I'm freaking out because I don't want them to pick up on my lack of drinking and realize that we are trying. I don't know how long our TTC is going to last and I just don't want them in on it. I also don't want to seem jealous of their baby. Any tips or tricks? All advice is welcome. BTW- I never really liked my BIL or SIL. They have a weird vibe about them and can occasionally be jerks.

You'd all be drinking with DS around normally?? I'd just say that you guys would prefer to stay sober because there is a kiddo around.

 

[sojourn]

This might be a little nuts.

I just came off of depo and I am not ovulating and I am not pregnant. I am going through, what I assume is, withdrawal bleeding. This is all fine with me. I am feeling impatient, but I get that nature will take its course.

When we decided to stop birth control and to pursue conception, I quit drinking, smoking (I only smoke socially anyway) and even cut down my coffee consumption from a pot a day to a cup.

Good plan, right?

I was feeling all angsty and guilty because it's our close friend's birthday. Angsty because I was like "Whatever, I am definitely not pregnant and definitely not ovulation. I will 100% change my whole life when there is an egg that can be a fetus that can be a kid." I was (am?) feeling guilty because I was like "But how can you ever by the blessed earth mother being if you care about going to have drinks with your friends, but not your not even released egg that can't even possibly get fertilized and thus not even possibly turn into a fetus and thus not even possibly be a baby".

I think, for my mental health. I need to relax and not feel guilty about wanting to go out with friends and have a couple of drinks. It's not like I am going to go get hammered, it's not even like I will do it often. Once I actually get the hint that I might eventually ovulate I will actually stop everything completely. Until then, I think it is a little unreasonable to focus my whole brain and lifestyle around something that is impossible.

Now, bring on the comments about how selfish and awful I am.

 

[Sass827]

Gunn- Yeah - my in-laws are a pretty heavy drinking family. When everyone gets together, it's usually a beer drinking all day type of thing. SIL is a lighter drinker. In the past, my drinking around the in-laws has varied. I have major issues with my MIL, so I have drank moderately around her in the past. The baby is only 10 months old, and I think the general consensus is that it's my SIL's job to take care of him. Any advice? please?

 

[Sass827]

Sojourn- I'm a fan of your plan. Everyone says the best way to conceive is to be happy and relaxed, so why not enjoy a drink or two when you know your not pregnant? No judging here! :0)

 

[dizzy65]

My Vent for the day hehe

i am so sick and tired of people announcing im pregnant.. i think the next person that gets to announce should be me i so badly want my bfp!

 

[J_Lynn]

sojourn - I have no judgment of you, either. I love my moscato and don't plan on giving it up until I read a BFP. I am a light drinker anyway, but if I go out and I want a beer or a glass (or two) of wine, I am going to drink it and I am not going to feel guilty. Drink away, my dear - drink away!

 

[J_Lynn]

J_Lynn- Apparently it's not even that uncommon! *smh* You see all the good reviews on their website, but if you dig a little deeper, look at the Amazon 1 and 2-star reviews, etc, all of a sudden you realize how many women this has happened to. I am very glad it didn't mess up your cycles! It does seem to help lots and lots of women, but if I had know the risk I was taking by trying it, I don't think it's something I would have gone for. With reviews like these, there should be some kind of warning:

https://www.amazon.com/FertilAid-Wo...?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addOneStar&showViewpoints=0

If it did mess up my cycles, I wouldn't know .... sadly ... because of the blocked tube issue and the PCOS, my cycle and Oing are all jacked up anyway.

I really, really hope that something can help you - because it's one thing to naturally have O/cycle issues, but it's really absolutely unacceptable for a product to cause those issues when they claim they will HELP!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that

 

[cntrygrl]

So thankful that I saw this thread....
I told a friend that DH and I were TTC. She had only been with her boyfriend for a couple of months. Next thing I know she is now pregnant with twins! Seriously!!!

 

[Fizzyfefe]

Beginning to think getting a dog was a mistake... She was good for the first two days, but now she is becoming a terror. She tore up the apartment yesterday when we left her alone. Just now, I took her outside to go to the bathroom, and two people stopped to talk to me. She got really aggressive and started growling. Mind you, I have barely ANY human contact, and I was really excited that these guys actually wanted to talk to me. But noooo, the dog freaking acted like they were the spawn of Satan! They weren't doing ANYTHING to freak her out. One guy asked if she was going to hurt them, and I responded "Probably not, but we just got her from the pound on Sunday so we're still learning about her," and his response was, "Oh, never mind..." And then they walked away.

I needed a companion, but she is NOTHING like how she was when we first got her. She was so sweet and lovable and now she is the complete opposite. I don't want to give up on her, but I can't have a dog that is anti-social and growls at everything and can't be left alone. I'm so upset about this.

 

[sojourn]

Thank you so much! I have no idea why it is affirming to have other people tell me that I am not being unreasonable.
It's not like I'm going to be doing jaeger luges or anything. I'll have a few cocktails, dance around, shoot a few games of pool and just freaking relax! I am super stoked to start a family, but I am just trying to enjoy this bit of time that I have to have my life as I know it. It won't be like this forever!

 

[MRSD6811]

Thing I wish I could do but can't...Press pause on the whole world except my DH and I til I can hold my head up high and not dread the dreaded questions!

 

[sojourn]

Beginning to think getting a dog was a mistake... She was good for the first two days, but now she is becoming a terror. She tore up the apartment yesterday when we left her alone. Just now, I took her outside to go to the bathroom, and two people stopped to talk to me. She got really aggressive and started growling. Mind you, I have barely ANY human contact, and I was really excited that these guys actually wanted to talk to me. But noooo, the dog freaking acted like they were the spawn of Satan! They weren't doing ANYTHING to freak her out. One guy asked if she was going to hurt them, and I responded "Probably not, but we just got her from the pound on Sunday so we're still learning about her," and his response was, "Oh, never mind..." And then they walked away.

I needed a companion, but she is NOTHING like how she was when we first got her. She was so sweet and lovable and now she is the completely opposite. I don't want to give up on her, but I can't have a dog that is anti-social and growls at everything and can't be left alone. I'm so upset about this.

That is so hard. I am not really an animal person, so I know people will disagree with me, but I don't know that it is a good idea to keep the dog.

Exhibiting aggressive behavior is kind of scary. Also, animals are somewhat unpredictable. You say you have little social contact, but wouldn't you feel awful if the dog got out and bit someone?

I didn't look closely at your information, but if you are trying to conceive (assumed based on the fact that you are posting here), what happens when you do get pregnant and have a small child around? I know that under the best of circumstances, that is a ways off (nine months at least!), but it's something to consider.

You did take the dog on, you are responsible for it and its actions. Some people may take this to mean that you are obligated to keep it. I think it means you are obligated to think long and hard about what behavior you feel comfortable being responsible for.

 

[wellsk]

Fizzyfefe, what about getting a behavioural expert to have a look at your dogs behaviour. We have a dog (although he's not naughty anymore as he's serious ill ) who used to steal things, and get aggressive around them. He's destroyed alsorts, thousands of pounds worth of stuff! But we love him dearly. So we hired an expert who gave us some really great tips on how to manage his behaviour, and although he's not perfect, he's so much better!
That's the problem with taking on a dog from a rehoming centre, is that you never fully understand what happened to them previously. Your dog has also not been in your home very long, so it's a bit mean for you to expect so much already.

 

[CaliDreaming]

OMG. My co worker just asked me in front of everyone if I was pregnant!!! I feel so humiliated. She tried to justify it because she found out another coworker had shingles and that it could be harmful to pregnant women. Yeah right!!

I have gained 15 pounds in the past three months because I found out I was likely anemic and that could have been the cause of me not me not getting pregnant. So I slacked on my diet and exercise.

I'm already feeling uncomfortable because my clothes don't fit. My hair looks like crap because it had started breaking off from my nutritional deficiencies. It's bad enough not getting pregnant without people pointing out that I look pregnant. And now I find out that even though I haven't told a soul that I am TTC, everybody is thinking that that is what I'm doing.

I just want to crawl under a rock and die....

 

[Sass827]

Fizzy- If your dog has only been home for 2 days from the pound, I bet she is just having a hard time adjusting. Going from the pound to a home is very scary and being left alone probably made her super freaked. I was never a fan of this before we rescued our pound puppy, but I'll tell you having a kennel in the living room saved our pooch from going back to the pound. She loves her kennel. It's her little place to go and relax and feel secure. She goes there on her own now, even when we are home because it's her den. we fill it with blankets, toys and treats. I would highly recommend getting one.

 

[Sass827]

I'm so sorry Cali. Same happened to me two years ago. I just cried and cried. People are such jerks.

 

[wellsk]

Hugs Cali, how rude of your co worker!
Hopefully you'll start to feel better soon and then the rest will follow!


Little vent;
I'm starting to feel a little physically sick when I see lots of undeserving girls on bragbook holding their newborn little ones and all their 'congratulations'. I've had 6 birth announcements in just over a month, all but one who are far younger than me, living with their parents. And in no fit state to be parents themselves, so angry, jealous and bitter. I just want to hold my own little one and not have to feel this way anymore.

 

[Gunnhilde]

Hugs Cali, how rude of your co worker!
Hopefully you'll start to feel better soon and then the rest will follow!


Little vent;
I'm starting to feel a little physically sick when I see lots of undeserving girls on bragbook holding their newborn little ones and all their 'congratulations'. I've had 6 birth announcements in just over a month, all but one who are far younger than me, living with their parents. And in no fit state to be parents themselves, so angry, jealous and bitter. I just want to hold my own little one and not have to feel this way anymore.

Me thinks that you need that Chrome add-on. I replaced the pictures with things tagged YOLO.

 

[wellsk]

Hugs Cali, how rude of your co worker!
Hopefully you'll start to feel better soon and then the rest will follow!


Little vent;
I'm starting to feel a little physically sick when I see lots of undeserving girls on bragbook holding their newborn little ones and all their 'congratulations'. I've had 6 birth announcements in just over a month, all but one who are far younger than me, living with their parents. And in no fit state to be parents themselves, so angry, jealous and bitter. I just want to hold my own little one and not have to feel this way anymore.

Me thinks that you need that Chrome add-on. I replaced the pictures with things tagged YOLO.

Oh Gunnhilde that's hilarious!
I'm thinking maybe penguins or men with moustaches!

 

[dollface85]

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