VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

[Fizzyfefe]

That is so hard. I am not really an animal person, so I know people will disagree with me, but I don't know that it is a good idea to keep the dog.

Exhibiting aggressive behavior is kind of scary. Also, animals are somewhat unpredictable. You say you have little social contact, but wouldn't you feel awful if the dog got out and bit someone?

I didn't look closely at your information, but if you are trying to conceive (assumed based on the fact that you are posting here), what happens when you do get pregnant and have a small child around? I know that under the best of circumstances, that is a ways off (nine months at least!), but it's something to consider.

You did take the dog on, you are responsible for it and its actions. Some people may take this to mean that you are obligated to keep it. I think it means you are obligated to think long and hard about what behavior you feel comfortable being responsible for.

Sojourn, I definitely would feel horrible if she hurt someone else. I honestly feel like she just needs to be trained, but I am so ignorant when it comes to animals, as I have never had to do this before. I honestly think she should be muzzled now when I take her outside. We are trying to figure out what triggers her aggressiveness, and so far we noticed that she only growls or barks when I am alone with her, when there is another animal, and when men are around. She never growls at children. Also, we took her to PetSmart, and she was surrounded by other people and animals and didn't bark once, BUT my husband was there. So I'm assuming this means she is trying to be protective of me only...? Don't know this for sure. But the thing is that I don't need protection, you know? I want her to know I am the dominant one. I would feel terrible just giving up and taking her back. I know that it's my responsibility to train her and take care of her. I don't want to get rid of her because she is such a lovebug when we are alone.

Thank you for your advice!

 

[Fizzyfefe]

Fizzyfefe, what about getting a behavioural expert to have a look at your dogs behaviour. We have a dog (although he's not naughty anymore as he's serious ill ) who used to steal things, and get aggressive around them. He's destroyed alsorts, thousands of pounds worth of stuff! But we love him dearly. So we hired an expert who gave us some really great tips on how to manage his behaviour, and although he's not perfect, he's so much better!
That's the problem with taking on a dog from a rehoming centre, is that you never fully understand what happened to them previously. Your dog has also not been in your home very long, so it's a bit mean for you to expect so much already.

Wellsk, I'm so sorry about your sick dog.

She is registered for training classes; they start on the 22nd. I do not expect perfection from her. When I took her to the vet the other day, the vet said she had a puppy's personality in a dog's body. So I know she's never been trained and needs lots of TLC. However, she was COMPLETELY different when I first got her. She didn't have any bad behavior at the center. We took her to PetSmart and not once did she growl or bark at other people or dogs. She was totally fine on Monday. But now she's 100% different.

I know she needs time and love and patience. I was just super frustrated, especially because I don't have friends here and I finally had an opportunity to meet new people (but that was taken away). So I hope you can understand that I am not expecting her to be perfect and I do know that she needs time to adjust. I was just venting.

 

[Fizzyfefe]

Fizzy- If your dog has only been home for 2 days from the pound, I bet she is just having a hard time adjusting. Going from the pound to a home is very scary and being left alone probably made her super freaked. I was never a fan of this before we rescued our pound puppy, but I'll tell you having a kennel in the living room saved our pooch from going back to the pound. She loves her kennel. It's her little place to go and relax and feel secure. She goes there on her own now, even when we are home because it's her den. we fill it with blankets, toys and treats. I would highly recommend getting one.

Sass, yes, I do believe that's what is happening. The "honeymoon" period is now over, and I'm learning more about her personality. As soon as we got home yesterday and found the apartment destroyed, hubby went and bought a crate. So we are now trying to have her get used to it. I've put toys and treats in there for her to munch on, so she hopefully doesn't associate the crate with negativity.

The thing is that I've never had to crate train a dog. I've never been around an aggressive dog. My pets as a child were always calm and affectionate and never barked. I want to love and care for her and train her. It's just super frustrating.

Thank you for your advice!

 

[wellsk]

Yeah, my dog was exactly the same too! The first week he was good as gold, then he became an absolute terror. He destroyed our brand new carpets, mobile phone, printer cartridges, do much stuff! We've had exactly the same words as you 'he's a puppy in a dogs body'
But now he's got epilepsy, and I think the seizure has caused brain damage, and now he can't walk and it's like there's nothing behind his eyes. It's been devastating.

I hope your dog gets better soon behaviour wise, I can completely understand your frustration though.

 

[Fizzyfefe]

Yeah, my dog was exactly the same too! The first week he was good as gold, then he became an absolute terror. He destroyed our brand new carpets, mobile phone, printer cartridges, do much stuff! We've had exactly the same words as you 'he's a puppy in a dogs body'
But now he's got epilepsy, and I think the seizure has caused brain damage, and now he can't walk and it's like there's nothing behind his eyes. It's been devastating.

I hope your dog gets better soon behaviour wise, I can completely understand your frustration though.

Oh my gosh! That's terrible- both destroying stuff and being sick. She only has ruined our shutters and blinds. She started chewing the carpet but I stopped that behavior immediately.

My dad has seizures, so I completely understand your pain. Is there nothing you can medically do for him? Did you get him from the pound?

Thank you for your support. I don't want to give up on her. And I'm sorry again about your dog.

 

[wellsk]

That's okay. Ironically my DH has epilepsy too, so I'm totally used to it and know tonnes about it. My dog is on medication, but he's 8 years old and it's only just started happening (as far as we're aware) do the vets reckon that it's probably something sinister that's causing his seizures. Like a tumour
We got him from the rehoming centre (a pound) last October.

 

[AlyCon]

So thankful that I saw this thread....
I told a friend that DH and I were TTC. She had only been with her boyfriend for a couple of months. Next thing I know she is now pregnant with twins! Seriously!!!

 

[tink1506]

i had a miscarriage a week ago when i told my mum i was preg she seemed happy then we lost our baby we made a memory box my oh showed her her face said it all like a oh for god sake its not like it was born n died hello it was still our baby!! we got the all clear to ttc my oh mentioned something about babies and she said dont u think u should get married first erm .... no mum i dont weddings take time n money to plan n dont happen for a few years once uve started to plan them im not waiting that long for a baby we have all the things you need for a baby from my second lo all we need to get is nappies milk n a few more clothes werecmore than prepared sorry rant over!!

 

[tamithomas]

i had a miscarriage a week ago when i told my mum i was preg she seemed happy then we lost our baby we made a memory box my oh showed her her face said it all like a oh for god sake its not like it was born n died hello it was still our baby!! we got the all clear to ttc my oh mentioned something about babies and she said dont u think u should get married first erm .... no mum i dont weddings take time n money to plan n dont happen for a few years once uve started to plan them im not waiting that long for a baby we have all the things you need for a baby from my second lo all we need to get is nappies milk n a few more clothes werecmore than prepared sorry rant over!!

That is so horrible! I just miscarried this morning and buried the little bean even if it was only 5 weeks old near our garden. Even if it was just a bean, it had potential to be a real child therefore it technically was born and died. After 3 years of TTC only to lose it really makes you wanna just give the whole thing up. Of course we won't but it just makes you want to. That was soo insensitive of your mom and you have every right to be pissed off at her for those remarks.

 

[Tasha]

I am so sorry for people's insensitivity girls

My vent is that I have ultrasound scan on Wednesday, seeing an empty womb will be bad enough, but the fact it will be in the ultrasound where I was told one day before my planned induction that my baby girl no longer had a heartbeat, is going to kill me. I've never been in that part of the hospital again. I dont want to now either :'(

 

[HWPG]

Tasha, I am so sorry you have to go thru that. I can only imagine what a hard day that will be, and I hope you will have someone by your side. Hugs go with you.

 

[J_Lynn]

This is no rant about anything related to babies; but I am going to lose it on this home remodel - no joke, I am never remodeling anything again. It's good we did it - but I am going to lose my mind. I just wanted to tear out the old bathroom and put new stuff in - we picked out the tile, got the shower and bath, got the new toilet, cabinets, sink, etc - and go to put it in yesterday with my daddy and expected a quick one-day project (well, without the laying of the tile of course) and all hell breaks loose. There was an unknown water leak that was so slight that it's been undected for a long while, so it appears. So now the floor is sinking and my dad is now having to fix the foundation under the floor and put new support beams and we have a black mold issue under the bathroom so we have to scrub it with Joy and bleach and then put lye down so it will dry up and no longer be an issue. Everything seems to be going wrong - we have an old home, but sheesh - this is just a nitemare! This is not how I wanted this to work out!!

I have no idea what I am thinking; now I don't even want to build the other bathroom onto the house in the spring, and I DEFINITELY don't want to be doing the remodel of the kitchen next summer! I HATE HOME REMODELING!

 

[ChartsNHearts]

I hope you don't mind me joining you in your ranting ladies!

I also post on another TTC website and someone's post over there has really got me cross today. I don't know why someone would claim that they had experienced/were experiencing chemical pregnancies, when they appear to be saying these things just to seek attention. On the one hand I feel awful doubting her if it's true, but you know when things just don't add up? It makes me angry on behalf of the ladies who do genuinely have experience of chemical pregnancies/miscarriages.

Hmm. Very strange behaviour! The mind boggles!

Hmmm.. you're not talking about me are you? I've had nothing but trouble with this last cycle. I think I o'd early, then I had weird spotting, and I had several positive tests, but then a negative doctor's test, and I was sent home to freak out until I miss another AF. (Due tomorrow.) The other night I took a digi to ease my mind, and accidentally set it down in a puddle of water on my sink, and when I went to check it, there was water just dripping off of it, and it said, "not pregnant." And so I took a regular test strip, which had a faint line, but when I posted it, everyone kept saying I probably had a chemical and that's what the spotting was... (Since they're all doctors...)

So for the time being, until I find out what in the world is going on, I have been bouncing back and forth from ttc to pregnancy forums, searching for someone that may have had this before and what on earth it is.

I certainly don't mean to offend any of you, and I'm not trying to rub my positives in your faces. I'm confused, and not sure they're accurate, or if I really have had a chemical, or what!!

No, I definitely wasn't talking about you! You sound like you're having a really confusing and stressful cycle! I hope you get some answers soon

 

[jcombs35]

Just making sure. If I ever at any time offend or hurt any one of you, please let me know!!

 

[LillyLouLou]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Really happy for my brother and SIL get pg after only 6months of trying (DH and I have been trying for 2 frigging years!) but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont show me the pack the midwife gave you and tell me all about your upcoming scan.

Heart. Ripped. Out. Hate having to smile through and be happy when I am dying inside.

 

[zoomlentil]

Beginning to think getting a dog was a mistake... She was good for the first two days, but now she is becoming a terror. She tore up the apartment yesterday when we left her alone. Just now, I took her outside to go to the bathroom, and two people stopped to talk to me. She got really aggressive and started growling. Mind you, I have barely ANY human contact, and I was really excited that these guys actually wanted to talk to me. But noooo, the dog freaking acted like they were the spawn of Satan! They weren't doing ANYTHING to freak her out. One guy asked if she was going to hurt them, and I responded "Probably not, but we just got her from the pound on Sunday so we're still learning about her," and his response was, "Oh, never mind..." And then they walked away.

I needed a companion, but she is NOTHING like how she was when we first got her. She was so sweet and lovable and now she is the complete opposite. I don't want to give up on her, but I can't have a dog that is anti-social and growls at everything and can't be left alone. I'm so upset about this.

Try not to give up on her just yet. A pound is a scary, unknown environment for a dog and she probably feels absolutely all over the place. Many dogs act differently to when you first met them once they are in a new home and start to feel comfortable. As a pound dog, she could have any sort of history that has made her how she is.

As well as going to training classes I would actually invest in a canine behaviourist who can assess your dog properly. Training classes are just that - training, but a behaviourist (a good one) actually has the know-how to get into the mind of the dog and figure out why she's acting like she is and how to fix it. Consider it like a doggy psychologist.

Another thing, I wouldn't recommend leaving a new dog to have the run of the house while you're out. Even a 'normal' dog can get bored when left alone and an outlet for that may be being destructive. I would restrict her to a certain area of the house where she can't do much damage (ie, a laundry or bathroom) and also start crate training her. A crate trained dog is a wondrous thing and very easy to take or keep anywhere.

Here's some info on crate training: https://www.apdt.com/veterinary/assets/pdf/APDT_CrateTraining.pdf

Just remember, dogs are complex little creatures with their own feelings and emotions. They too can have mental issues because of negative things that have happened in their life, but can only tell you how they feel in their own language. It's just a matter of learning that language and becoming a pack leader that they can trust.

 

[jcombs35]

For the love of God, can we stop bleeding now????????

 

[tamithomas]

Found out I officially miscarried, one friend goes into labor the same day, another one due in a month. Joy... I could just crawl in a hole and die right about now.

 

[tamithomas]

Fizzyfefe: like zoomlentil said, please don't give up on her so easily. Dogs are complex and have their own sets of emotions,fears and anxieties. Maybe bring your dog to a dog behaviorlist? Or just show some patience, she could be petrefied of humans at the moment and just traumatized in general.

 

[jcombs35]

Found out I officially miscarried, one friend goes into labor the same day, another one due in a month. Joy... I could just crawl in a hole and die right about now.

Sorry. I know I can't say a whole lot to help, but I do understand your frustration and anger and hurt.