VENT THREAD! Things you wish you could say but can't

[zoomlentil]

Was that really necessary? It had already been smoothed out earlier. Why heighten the risk that this thread get closed?

edit to add:

You also seemed to have picked and chosen from the original 'offending' post to become insulted. Try reading properly next time. If you're so hell bent on showing us all how you're not just another immature teen statistic, I suggest you swallow your pride when it comes to things like this. This is a vent thread, a thread where people come to vent things that they wouldn't say in public - maybe not even to their own partners.

I can see both sides of the story, but please try to understand ours. I don't like seeing those from Preg come in and rub it in our faces in TTC because it shows us all what we don't have. I'm 22 and have been waiting to TTC for three years. I don't like having to look at someone's ticker that shows that they're several years younger than me, yet already pregnant with their second. It freaking hurts. A lot.

 

[wanaBmummy]

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!) Its not like i'm against having kids young, i'm 19. The difference between me and them is that i finished high school, im married, me and my husband live on our own and are financially stable and have BOTH agreed to start TTC. But of course i have PCOS and my body doesnt cooperate with a damn thing i want it to do!! Lucky me! And i really feel bad for being so judgemental because if it wasnt for my PCOS we would have probably been teen parents ourselves (although i think we would have still gotten married)! I wasnt on borth control and we never used condoms! Watching every other girl in my class have "oopsie" babies (and the fact that i was getting one period a year) is how i knew something had to be wrong with me! and there is. I feel horrible that i'm judging these girls but now that i know im having trouble TTC i kind of wish i would have been like them, even though i know that would have caused even bigger problems. Ughhhh.. Jealousy is an ugly confusing green monster!!! Ugh, this is more of a rant against myself i guess. Any body else share in my feelings??

Who the hell do you actually think you are? Your life must be so perfect for you to sit here and bash? Pathetic...you really need to get a grip of yourself. Yes, I had my daughter at sixteen- she is most wonderful thing I have ever done. No, im not on benefits. My partner works to provide for us. I went back to college when my daughter was 10 days old, and in September im off to university to study to become a doctor.

Sorry to burst your sterotypical bubble...but I would love to hear what you have amounted to in life? Not very much im guessing. Maybe you should put your keyboard down for a minute and go and say those things to somebodies face, I would pay for front row seats to see what would happen.

As you can see, your not the only one that goes looking through other forums and you've managed to rub a lot of people up the wrong way. I can see this ending up being locked because there are now alot of people in Teen Pregnancy who arn't happy and obviously there are also alot of hormones.

Personally i spend alot of time in Teen Pregnancy. However i'm 21, 22 in September (therefore older than you) I have been working full time for 4 years and am just abouts to be promoted to manager. My husband who i have been married to for nearly a year and been with for nearly 4, has also been working full time for 3 years. We live in a 2 bed house and don't recieve any benifits. I will be going back to work 6 months after LO is born and FYI i spent nearly 7 months over here in TTC, meaning our daughter was very much planned and not an 'ooopsie'.

I understand you have a right to vent as does anyone but when your on a website such as this, targeting a specific group isn't a very good idea. Especially when you put such a huge stereo type onto all of them and most are the same age as you. Also having personally spent alot of time in Teen Pregnancy i can gaurentee you majority of those girls are doing everythign they can to provide for their children, finish high school and give their child the best life possible. Yes some of them may have been accidents but it doesn't mean the mums to be arn't trying their hardest and for all you know could give their child a better life than those who have tried for their babies.

edit:

Yes i know i'm going to bashed now as the post wasn't aimed at me and i 'haven't read it properly' however you would probably have got less of a reaction if you had just stated about teens and not mentioned the teen pregnancy section.

So I just spent a few minutes stalking the teen pregnancy forum and i know this probably makes me a huge bitch but i'm so pissed off now!! i mean i dont know any of them personally but i think its safe to say that most (if not all) of their pregnanciees were "oopsies" and they are more likely to not have the fathers around, drop out of school, and end up on benifits which just makes me sad for those babies- and the girls! i know not all of them will end up with a bad life and im not saying they will be bad mothers but the odds are stacked against them and their situation was 98% preventable (if they properly used birth control and condoms!)

You specifically targeted the girls who you are now hating on because they became offended by your vent. They have every right to be offended, your post was aimed at them. You may not see it as being a personal attack but if you look at what you originally put (yes i know you did another post) it most deffinatly was.

 

[hunni12]

Was that really necessary? It had already been smoothed out earlier. Why heighten the risk that this thread get closed?

edit to add:

You also seemed to have picked and chosen from the original 'offending' post to become insulted. Try reading properly next time. If you're so hell bent on showing us all how you're not just another immature teen statistic, I suggest you swallow your pride when it comes to things like this. This is a vent thread, a thread where people come to vent things that they wouldn't say in public - maybe not even to their own partners.

I can see both sides of the story, but please try to understand ours. I don't like seeing those from Preg come in and rub it in our faces in TTC because it shows us all what we don't have. I'm 22 and have been waiting to TTC for three years. I don't like having to look at someone's ticker that shows that they're several years younger than me, yet already pregnant with their second. It freaking hurts. A lot.

How can you say that basically pregnant people shouldn't come here when she came to our side of town first? No one is showing off our pregnancy and it's not our fault that it's hard for you ladies to conceive. I wish fertility problems on no one, but stop treating us like it's our fault.Not trying to be rude

 

[foxyviola]

So the constant questions continue, but this time it's "how are you enjoying being back at work" and "is it great to back?" like it's some kind of epic adventure.
Ya know that feeling you get when you just want to punch someone but you just nod and smile. I always think of things to say when the moments long one like " well I'd much rather be looking after my daughter who should be 9 months old now, but I guess it all seems a long time ago for you lot" and that irritating question " finished being a lady of leisure then?" LIKE MY TIME OFF WAS A LIFESTYLE CHOICE YOU BUNCH OF BELL ENDS!!!
Some people should have had their cake holes sewn up at birth.
Ah that's better.

 

[tasha41]

Here to hopefully clear a few things up.

Firstly, with regards to comments such as the ones that have been made about teen mothers, I need to draw your attention to our forum rules:

Antisocial, discriminatory or offensive messages (intended or otherwise) aimed at the community at large, certain demographics (including parenting styles) or specific members, are not permitted.

Vent threads are not exempted from following these rules.

People are free to go to TTC or Pregnancy forums as they please but please use your best judgement and sensitivity, if you are going to post please make sure it is going to be a helpful post. If you are finding yourself feeling defensive or upset by a TTC vent thread or the Teen Pregnancy forum in general, we're all quite capable of staying out of said forums & threads, correct ladies?

I'm not going to close this thread because having a place to vent is genuinely helpful to some, but if any more problems arise from it, that decision may change.

 

[laurac1988]

Thank you for of closing, Tasha.

Ladies... Please stop attacking each other. Take it to PMs

 

[GalvanBaby]

My not making too much sense rant:

School friend on FB: How can you be pregnant with your 7th child by only God knows who ecause you don't and say you don't know why people would want more kids. If you don't want more kids, take BC or don't have SEX!! Some people are in healthy, happy relationships and can afford a child without government assitance so, we have the right to have another baby.

Cousin: Ok, it is good that you are having a boy. What I don't understand is how do you get out of prison after a 4 year term, get pregnant, and get married to the guy you went to prison for all in 1 month? I am really glad that your life is going good now and neithe rof you are on drugs and I love you to death, but don't rub this baby in my face. You know how I have been planning another baby for years and have been trying for the past 5 months. You know that my Dr told me that my chances of concieving after a year post Tubal reversal drop drasticaly so, DO NOT tell me that I will get pregnant when I am not trying and don't want to!! I will want to have a baby until I have one!!

SILs: Everyone of you are B*TCHES!! You are two faced fake ass Bsss!! How can you tell me I don't need to get pregnant?!!! OH and I have been married for almost 2 years and together for 6 years. We unlike you all and your spouses respect each other. How can you sit here and talk about our relationship when you all ahve your little boyfriends on the side yet are telling your husband that you are trying to get pregnant! What are you going to do when you do get pregnant and the baby comes out looking just like your boyfriend? Who happens to be you husbands best friend?

MIl and FIL: How can you run your only son off just because your daughters are jealous of his relationship and your youngest daughter can't control what he does. He is a grown man and does not need an 18 year old B*tch telling him what to do! How can you treat him as if he is stupid? Just becasue he has never lived in Mexico as an adult does not mean that he doesn't know anything about how to live here!!! Thank God he went to the US when he turned 18!! If he hadn't you all would have turned him into what you are today! Unhappily controlled by your daughters! We moved into your house becasue you asked us to, you told us you needed our help. What did you do? You tried to control OH and couldn't so you decided to make our life miserabel and treat us as if we are ad because we refuse to buy food to feed all of your daughters, their husbands, and their kids! They are not our responsibility and no way in Hell am I going to take money or food form what goes to my kids to support them when they are capable of doing it! So, you got what you want, you made your son feel so bad and upset us enough to where we left. We have been gone for a month and our life is back to normal. We don't need you or your dysfunctional ways of doing things!!!

BTW: Stop telling everybody that I don't really want a baby with your son and I just faked having surgery! That is so stupid!! OH was with me at the hospital and you were there afterwards and saw the freaking cut!! Why woudl you even say something like that?

 

[kassiaethne]

*eyetwitch* if this clock doesn't get moved to another room its going to be tossed out the window of a 4 story building. not only does it tick...it ticks off...instead of going through a rythmic tic...toc...tic...toc...its going tic..ti...c...toc...ti...c....to...c

THIS IS MY MOTHER IN LAWS NEW FORM OF CHINESE TORTURE I TELL YOU

 

[laurac1988]

Ladies please! Can we stop fighting and take it to PM or something. This thread is for venting not attacking eachother

 

[AlyCon]

Ladies please! Can we stop fighting and take it to PM or something. This thread is for venting not attacking eachother

Sorry about all the drama. When i posted my vent i never even imagined that it would have provoked this kind of reponse, especially since i didnt think that already pregnant teens would be reading my post on TTC. But thats beside the point. I hope the drama stops here. I'm not making any more posts in refernce to the situation. Anybody who repsponds from here on out i will just treat it like another vent and keep scrolling. Again i'm sorry and i hope it stops.

 

[kassiaethne]

D: vent #2 of today...I secretly think this dog is hitting all the high notes today just to see if my eardrums really can bleed....good lord almighty it echos throughout the apartment and I feel it echoing through my head turning my brain to mush....I don't know if I'm being extra sensitive to sound today...or everything else is just extra loud and annoying today

 

[laurac1988]

Feel unbelievably ill. And have to work a stupid night shift cries*

 

[littlefishygg]

Why is it that during the month my OH is away a massive crime spree hits my area and 3 houses on my road get broken into in one night. I am now spending my night sitting locked in my bedroom, with every light in the house on, clutching my phone and listening to every single noise around terrified that I am going to get broken into. We have lived here for 2 years without and single problem and the moment I get left alone, all hell breaks loose

 

[Mischief]

I've got a couple of rants to direct at myself...

I love to sew and knit baby gifts - so much that it usually doesn't bother me much that the gift isn't for my own baby. But after these last several unsuccessful TTC months I refused to attend two baby showers for coworkers this month. I didn't even send gifts. And I actually said to someone, "It's tacky to have a baby shower when it's not your first child." All because they both already have several healthy children each and I'm jealous. And even though I know that I was NOT NICE, I still have absolutely no desire to make it right.

Another rant...

I don't like the way I act without the benefit of birth control pills to prevent PMS. I hate the depression, anxiety and obsessive behavior. I don't like myself this way. I know I should be willing to do what it takes to conceive if I really want it, but I honestly don't know how long I'll be able to live this way. I wish I could stay on the pill AND get pregnant!

 

[letbemommy]

okay so here is y lovely rant
Okay so I went the clinic on Tuesday I believe and got a urine test done and of course it came back negative, I came home and told my boyfriend and he was lost as much as I was because we both swore that I was pregnant. I pretended to be fine but inside I want to cry every time I see something about a baby. We also talked that night and figured out our issue to why we weren't making love anymore. Hell our intimacy was out the window and we put it together that we were so concentrated on the baby thing that it wasn't fun anymore. Well we solved that problem and lets just say that it is alot better these days! Well now that we aren't thinking about it life has gotten better. I've got enough stress for ten grown men right now as it is so it was nice to take that off my load. But now we have run into another problem, DB was so convinced that I was and even was like we won't know until you get AF. Well lst night i brought it up because I couldn't sleep and can't take melatonin which he takes and he was like don't worry you aren't pregnant, what the fuck man make up your mind!Needless to say I am a bit irritated at this present moment. I either want AF to show up or the 28th to get here already because if no AF I am getting a blood test scheduled! Come on though seriously it would be nice to know before I am in my second trimester! Screw it not showing up in pee test! I would just love to know if I am carrying my child sometime in the near future! Okay I am done ranting. any other ladies had this problem with the pee test?

 

[jodcay]

I hate the constant ache for a baby. I want to scream at people who keep telling me that I'm lucky I'm only 30 and that I've got years ahead of me.

I hosted a baby shower and spent most of the time in the kitchen avoiding speaking to anyone because I couldn't bare to talk about babies. What makes this even worse is that the lady I was hosting for had a long road with IVF. I'm the worst friend.

 

[tsyhanochka]

Sibling vent. At what point am I allowed to kick out my sister? She's been living with us since April and can't find or keep a decent job. I don't want rent just help around the house but she sleeps until 4 and doesn't do her own dishes let alone help out with other chores. She used all my tampons and regularly finishes the milk it other things with out letting me know.

 

[kassiaethne]

I say sit her down, talk with her about the issues, and give her a month to shape up. and if she just shrugs it off and doesn't care and doesn't shape up, time to find a new place. but thats just me

 

[marron]

Seriously? All i have to say is that i chose to vent on a vent thread and am now being PERSONALLY ATTCKED for letting out my feelings where i though i had a safe place to do so.

There is no such thing as a "safe place" on a public message board. Yes, you're entitled to your vents and rants, just as other readers are entitled to be offended and sound off, especially on a site called BABY AND BUMP.

 

[CaliDreaming]

I work for a social services agency in my state and part of my job involves taking children away from unfit parents. I hate that any woman has to go through infertility but what I hate more is seeing children suffer for their parents' mistakes.

The hardest ones for me are the drug addicts. I don't know what it is about them but they are incredibly fertile. I had a case with one woman and by the time the state got enough evidence to take her child away she had had another child and by the time of the hearing was pregnant with yet another. It is not uncommon for them to have eight or more children and to have all of them taken. It is so heartbreaking what those kids have to go through.

It really boggles my mind. These women have all kinds of risky unprotected sex but instead of stds and pid they get babies.

Anyway ladies the one positive I can see from infertility is for the children. I have never had a case involving a family that had fertility issues. When we do become mothers our kids will be extremely lucky. All parents love their children but I do think the parents who have to struggle cherish those children in a special way. And I hope that doesn't offend anyone because I say that as a mom who was able to conceive my first child naturally in under a year.