Hi ladies
Some really wise words from the lovely people here... it's normal to feel down about ttc sometimes, but Dasiy, see if you can turn things around the look at it from a positive angle... 34 definitely isn't old (yes, it's not 24, but it's not 44 either, and plenty of people conceive even in their 40s!), and you haven't been trying too long at all... I know it's frustrating when some people seem to get pregnant so quickly, but there's a lot of people with no fertility issues at all who take a good year or so to conceive.
We're on our 18th cycle...
I know I'm a slightly different situation, already having a daughter, but I still have that absolutely desperate, often all-consuming urge for a child... but I still have faith that it will happen one day. At times, though, it's really, really hard and I do find myself losing hope every so often. Age also crosses my mind sometimes... I'm only 30, but I was 27 when I conceived before, and every so often there's that niggling voice in my head saying "a lot can change in 3 years!" But I know that's silly
I think it's easy to get pulled into the world of supplements, testing etc etc which can automatically put you in a 'something must be wrong' mindset, which adds stress, which doesn't help ttc! I've honestly felt more positive recently, despite a fair amount of stress elsewhere in my life, since I've taken a step back from all-consuming ttc, googling, reading, researching etc.
Try viewing things from a different angle... you have no signs anything is wrong at all... all the tests you've had came back fine... and you theoretically would have many many years of potential childbearing ahead of you... but I bet you won't need 'years' for it to happen.
Enekai - Hmmmm, yes, I also wonder whether your cycles are definitely ovulatory. Not saying they're definitely not, but there's not a clear temperature shift, and your CM doesn't follow a standard fertile pattern. Out of interest, what does ff say if you take away the ewcm for last cycle? I think given you only came off BCP last month, it's just going to take a few months for your body to settle down. As I said, it's very easy to be pulled into feeling a 'need' to take supplements, but often time is all that's needed... it's your choice, but if it were me, I'd be giving it several more months to let my hormones settle down before adding anything extra into the mix... supplements when they're not needed can hinder more than help, so it's worth being sure they're definitely needed before starting them. A B complex supplement has many, many times the normal RDA of the vitamins, so it's worth being sure your body is definitely deficient before taking it.
It's natural to feel you want to 'do something' when CD1 comes (I've been there, many times) so I totally get why you're trying to find something to help you conceive.
I've charted for 4 years, and looking at your chart again my charting-instinct says you've had two anovulatory cycles, so you don't have a luteal phase issue (hence don't need B6)... quite common to have anovulatory cycles for a bit after BCP, as the hormones leave your body. It's very likely that within another cycle or two you'll spot ovulation
Oh yes, have you read 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'? An absolutely brilliant book if you're charting... I learnt SO much from it.
Good luck!
By the way, just in case my waffling hasn't come across right... I'm not anti supplements etc at all... I take several myself. I just believe it's worth giving the 'au naturelle' approach a bit of time, and being really sure supplements necessary before embarking upon them!
Anyway... an update from me. I think I had a surprise ovulation! Crept up upon me at CD15, several days earlier than usual. Have kinda switched off from ttc recently, with L being unwell, my husband also going down with a stomach bug and then the latest in what feels like a catalogue of crap things
(a burst pipe in my parents' house while they were up staying with us... 5 days of water flowing into the house I grew up in and where they've lived for 36 years, ceilings down, floors up, walls bulging, lots of stuff (including things from my childhood) destroyed... house has been declared unsafe and they need to find somewhere else to live for 6+ months... but anyway, I've wittered on about it in my journal...) so it was kinda nice to be surprised by a high temperature this morning and all fertile signs going... had expected them to stick around for about 5 days before ovulation, as happened last cycle! After this long I can't say I'm exactly hopeful, but... we shall see...
Sorry for the super-long post. That's what happens when I'm away for a few days.