Waiting and waiting...2016 mommies-to-be!

[tverb84]

This wasn't really a wtt goal but I've lost 45 pounds in almost three years. I decided it was time to get healthy after five family members passed away because their health wasn't good. I did it for my overall health and now I realize my fertility is part of that. It's HARD work to get in shape but very very worth it.

 

[KalonKiki]

That's great that you lost 45 lbs! You should be very proud of yourself. It's hard work getting and staying healthy, you certainly have more will power than I do at the moment.

As it stands I'm trying to get back down to 110 lbs. I have roughly 9 lbs left to lose and just can't seem to motivate myself to do it already, I've relied on breastfeeding and small meals to help me lose weight for too long.

 

[tverb84]

Thanks. I don't think I'll lose anymore weight but my muscles are getting bigger.

 

[Radiance]

Hey everyone!! I've been off the site the last two months and decided it was time to come back. I needed a WTT group because it's hard being alone in it!! My husband and I have two living children and have four angel babies. We have a team of doctors. Our local OB and midwife told us to wait at least one year but all the high risk specialists have recommended 18 months-5 years. The wait will be very difficult for me so here I am!!

 

[tverb84]

18 months to five years? That seems like a long time. I'll be part of your group but what are we supposed to do?

 

[KalonKiki]

Welcome Radiance, though I'm sorry about the conditions that you joined us under.

I hope that 2016 brings you a beautiful and healthy rainbow baby.

Well, I had a talk with DF and I'm positive that I won't be ready to stop having kids when I'm 26 and he's thinking that we'll have 3 children maximum. It looks like 2016 will end up being my year after all. I'm bummed, but I know that it's for the best. I know that 2016 will be here eventually and I just need to be patient. I'd rather have to wait longer and reach an age where I'm ready to stop with our last baby than to not have to wait as long but have my childbearing years end before I'm ready. It's very bitter sweet. I suppose that one of the blessings that comes out of it is that time will go by more slowly since I'm broody which means that I'll have that much longer to enjoy my wonderful DS while he's still very young himself. Hopefully he will also be potty trained before we start TTC and he will be old enough to understand what's going on and be able to get excited about having a little brother or sister. We will also be out of the terrible two's by the time that baby #2 was born. I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to find more pros than cons about waiting longer than I had originally wanted to make me feel better about it. I shouldn't complain though, I know some of you are still waiting for #1 while I already have a wonderful baby that I'm grateful to have. I don't want to wish my life away either, these are probably the best years of my life. I don't plan to change my ticker however, for just in case I change my mind and decide that I don't care if my childbearing years end at 26. I probably won't change it until June of 2015 gets here and we decide for sure if we want to wait another year or if we really just want to start right then. Somehow it feels better to have less than a year on that ticker, even if it ends up getting another year added to it next year. I think that I'll go a little less crazy than if I were to add that extra year on right now.

 

[bakedbean]

Hello!

Me and my partner also decided 2016 was a good time to start trying, when we're both 25! I would be ready next year really but we have too much to do (i need to finish my degree!) and whilst we are financially stable for ourselves, we would be pushing it with a little one!
My partner wants 3! I'm not so sure about that lol...2 maybe, else i'd want to start earlier.
That's the plan anyway - due to my endometriosis, it might have to change a bit but we shall see and i shall remain positive!


I'v been thinking a lot lately and would like to share my thoughts with you on a current situation and see what your opinions/thoughts are?
My step-dad is having twins in december with his new girlfriend and my mum mentioned about wanting another baby with her new partner (both 40). I don't think i'll be involved with my step-dads new baby as the new girlfriend does not like me or my sister in the picture and my mum is emotionally abusive so i wouldn't want to be 'baby buddies' but obviously i'd still want my future child to have a relationship with their grandparents. ...Is it selfish of me to find the idea of new siblings and my own baby close in age a bit weird/uncomfortable?

 

[KalonKiki]

It's not weird at all, it's completely and totally normal. I have 2 siblings that are close in age to me from my mother's first marriage (myself and my brother) and her second marriage (our sister) and when she married her fourth husband (who also had two kids of his own from his previous marriage) she decided a few years later that she wanted another baby. I was 17 years old at the time (I'm her oldest) and it made me and my siblings very uncomfortable to think about another sibling being so far apart from us in age. She had a baby anyway (my youngest sister, she's so sweet and I do love her, but I still think it was irresponsible of my mother to have more children) and then 13 months later she found out that she was pregnant with my youngest brother. My youngest brother (I was 19 when he was born, his birthday is two weeks after mine) is not even 3 years older than my DS (about 2 years and 10 months). It's slightly awkward, but I can imagine it would be worse if they were any closer in age.

In other words, what you're feeling is perfectly normal. However, you shouldn't let your mother's choice to have more children interfere with your own plans to have children. I promise that even if your mom does have another child, you will still love your little brother or sister very much. I love both of mine, I became much closer to them than I expected to because I played a big role in helping to raise them. Sure, it might be a little awkward to have a sibling close in age with your own LO, but it also means that your LO is guaranteed to have a playmate within your family to grow up with. I have an uncle that is a year younger than myself and my brother and I played with him all the time, it never felt strange to us that we had an uncle rather than a cousin that was our age. I love the fact that at family gatherings my son will have my brother at the very least (if not my sister too) to play with and become friends with.

 

[ja14]

Hello, ladies! I'm new to b&b. My husband and I don't have any definite plans to ttc yet, but I think 2016 could be realistic.

I still have about a year left of school to finish, and we'd also like to buy a house first. There's a few other little goals I'd like to complete before getting pregnant, but those are the two major ones that stand in our way!

 

[Lizzybee]

Ladies do you mind if I ask your ages? I'm 33, 34 this year. WTT #2. But it might end up being 2018 yet so then I'll be 38. I sort of feel that's really old. I'm also worried as my mum needed a hysterectomy at 40 due to hormonal problems. If we leave TTC too long I might not be able to have #2 at all.

 

[NovemberSnow]

Hello! I hope you don't mind if I join too?

We're planning on trying right at the end of December 2015, or possibly January 2016. We're waiting for a few reasons...

Sensible reasons
- To save up more
- Maybe to be able to buy a house - but that might not be realistic. If that's not possible, at least to live somewhere a bit more baby friendly!
- To have a more stable job before going on maternity leave

Frivolous reasons
- To go on a couple more amazing, non child friendly holidays!! (This probably won't help with the savings thing)

At the moment I'm really torn - part of me is soooo broody and desperate for a baby. One of my best friends just had a little girl and she is so gorgeous!! But another part of me wants to make the most of time with just my DH as I know that our life will change so much if/when kids arrive...

 

[KalonKiki]

Welcome NovemberSnow and ja14! :wave:

I'm 22 going on 23 in October, Lizzybee. We are also WTT #2 and if we conceived right away next year then I would be 24 when baby #2 would be born. If we end up waiting until June 2016 and conceive straight away I will be 25. If we have a 2 year age gap between our children I will likely be 26 when we have our last, but if we go for a 3 year age gap I will be 28. I'm very torn about that as I don't know if I will feel "ready" to be done at either age, but I also don't want to wait any longer than I have to if I'll feel the same anyway after 3 children no matter what age I am. There is also no rule that states that I have to have the same age gap between all of my children either though. If we have our first two 2 years apart and I feel nowhere ready to stop or if I feel nowhere near ready to try for #3 then we can always go for a bigger age gap between #2 and #3. Either way though I don't think that DF is going to budge on more than 3 and I don't like having a "limit" to how many children I'm allowed to have before I even decide how many I really want, but he has to be on board with anything we do with children. I can't make a baby without him, so if he only wants 3 then unfortunately I don't really get a say. If our finances allow it though I'll probably try to convince him to do 4.

Have you talked to your OH about your concerns with waiting too long? If you present your worries in a logical way, he might be receptive of them. He may not be worried about being "too old" to get you pregnant, but he needs to understand that you don't work on the same biological time clock that he does.

 

[Ganton]

I'm 30 and am hopefully WTT #3 either 2015 or early 2016, in which case both hubby and I would be 32 when our third, and almost certainly final, child arrives.

 

[tverb84]

Babies R Us is having another Baby Fest sale starting today until the 17th. It's a good chance to stock up if you haven't already.

 

[Noodlebear]

Hello! I'm waiting to try for #2. It's likely that we'll be waiting until mid 2016, maybe even later depending on our financial situation but fingers crossed!! I'm broody all the time but have decided it'll be better for my son to be more independent and aware of what is going on and for us to only have one set of childcare costs to cover at a time. That's what I keep having to tell myself anyway, I work in the obstetric scanning dept of our county hospital so constantly around pregnant women

 

[johnson1212]

Hey ladies! I'm a newbie to these forums so I hope you don't mind if I join! I'm 22 years old and my amazing hubby and I plan to TTC in 2016 when we're 24. I'm trying to finish up my undergrad degree before having our first baby. We originally wanted to try this year but we decided it will probably be best for us to wait so we can have more time alone as a couple and get financially ready.

In the meantime we're trying to focus on getting in the best shape possible. We're normally runners and both relatively thin so we're aiming to build muscle right now and doing P90X.

Happy Independence Day!

 

[ja14]

I'm 20 years old, and my husband is 29.

I mentioned on the page before that I have a year left of school, and money to save up for a house. Well, I've recently been looking into a dental assisting program that I may start in the fall. It's only ten weeks, then I'll have the opportunity to make a lot more money once I find a job! I figure I'll still serve a few shifts a week on top of dental assisting until it's baby time, we'll be in a house by no time!
Financially, since my husband is looking at a pay raise as well, we'd be prepared to tcc prior to 2016, but I think it will still be our date. I want to fully live out the "newlywed" stage & get many more memories behind us.

 

[tverb84]

I can't believe it'll be a year on the 31st that I joined b and b. That went by fast.

 

[KalonKiki]

Welcome to all of the new ladies! :wave:

It's great that you might be capable of TTC before 2016, ja14! Good luck with the dental assisting program.

The one year mark went by quickly for me too, tverb84. I still can't believe that it will be 2 years in October and that DS will be 1 year old in September.

 

[tverb84]

I just realized I never told anyone my name. It's Tara my mom told me she named me after the plantation in Gone With The Wind.