Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[Literati_Love]

Aleeah - that is AMAZING that your scan went so well! It is only normal to still feel apprehensive but I am joyfully celebrating this milestone with you! This is amazing and I am praying hard that this pregnancy will be different and will bring you your miracle baby! you are SOOOO strong!!!!!

 

[Lindsay109]

Blue, that's great news about your blood test!! Don't be so sure you're not pregnant, your chart looks really really good. I'll be watching you too! Where are you going for a month? Your post the other day made me happy, I hope it is baby moving My mum thought it was too. I'm not really showing yet. But if I wear a more fitted shirt, you can tell... needless to say I've been wearing loose clothing to work, lol.

LL, sorry you're feeling down I know it's going to happen for you, and hopefully sooner rather than later

Life, welcome and I'm sorry to hear about your loos Hopefully it'll happen again quickly for you! Is there any particular reason your doctor wants you to wait 2 cycles?

Mapha, welcome and I'm sorry to hear of your loss as well I was told I only had to wait until after my first normal AF to try (and then got pregnant again my first normal cycle). I hope it happens again quickly for you too!

Ljs, that's good news about AF, you're planning to try this cycle right? Where did you go for your holiday?

Aleeah, that is amazing news about your scan!!! I'm soooo happy for you I'm glad you're celebrating, you deserve it! I really do hope this one will be your take home baby.

Crys, glad to hear you're doing well

As for me, I'm doing well. We had a busy weekend with friends and family and now back to the grind this morning. I'm planning to tell work that I'm pregnant this week... probably tomorrow as the people I need to talk to will be there. I'm not quite sure how I feel about everyone at work knowing (because they will very soon after I tell anyone, lol), but it is what it is I suppose. Hubby and I are planning to have a discussion tonight about how we plan to split the parental leave (we get a year paid that can be split...) so I can tentatively tell work how long I plan to be off for.

 

[mapha2]

Thank you Lindsay and I'm glad all is going well on your side. Well, you guys are so fortunate to have 12months martenity paid leave. Here is South Africa things works differently, you get 3months paid leave and 2months unpaid .
I'm so glad I found you ladies, your kind words are making me feel so much better

 

[Literati_Love]

We Canadians are very fortunate with our mat leaves... But it isn't fully paid! We only get 55% of our income up to a certain max and then there are taxes on top of that, so I know we will barely be able to survive on that income when I'm off (if that ever happens) but it is a HUGE blessing to get that pay for the entire year because I would definitely never be able to take any time off unpaid! I think every country should give a full year. Every mom deserves to be with her baby for as long as possible!

Lindsay - that is interesting that you are thinking of splitting your parental leave with your hubby! My DH definitely won't be getting any of my time off! let us know what you decide! One girl I know is taking her full year, but her husband also took 2 months of leave at the same time ( you can do that - but only one person can get paid). Most people cannot afford to do that but he makes quite a bit of money normally and she had a decent salary as well so that was really nice for them to both be home when the baby was born! I am sure your DH will enjoy some time at home with the baby as well! Are you planning on breast feeding?

Good luck telling work this week! I am sure that will make things feel a lot more 'real.' Most people don't wait as long to tell work so good for you for making it this far! I am sure everyone will be thrilled for you!

 

[slg76]

here in the states you only get 12 weeks of unpaid leave. None paid. Unless you have a fantastic employer that offers more than they are required too.

 

[Literati_Love]

That would be rough, slg. everyone deserves some paid leave!

 

[Lindsay109]

Mapha, yes we are quite lucky with the maternity/parental leave benefits, although as LL said, it is only 55% up to a certain max. Some employers will top it up a little bit, but as I am self employed, that won't be the case for me so we've been saving money for the last year or so.

LL, we're splitting it because I have the higher income and it would be hard to pay the bills if I took the whole year off, it's not because I really want to, lol. We've also got a big bill coming up for our apartment building (they need to re-do the building envelope which is very expensive and seems to happen a lot here because of all the rain we get) - in any case we're not sure when exactly that bill will be coming, but we want to be prepared for it as much as possible. I think it will be good though because hubby will have some 1:1 bonding time as well. And the good thing about my job is that it is very easy for me to work part time so the tentative plan at the moment is for me to take about 6 - 7 months and then go back part time, at which point hubby will take the remainder of the parental leave. My DH has a lot of vacation saved up so we're hoping to overlap for 5 - 6 weeks if everything goes according to plan. I do plan to breast feed.

Sgl, 12 weeks unpaid is rough! I hope you have one of those fantastic employers!

 

[crysshae]

Oh...you can get paid leave at about 60%....but only if you've bought and paid for a short-term disability insurance policy, and then the pay doesn't start until you've been off for 2 weeks. We definitely don't have the benefits y'all have.

However, I must say I've found myself a wonderful employer who will pay your full salary for maternity and paternity leave. I can't remember the weeks. I think it's 8. They are the only employer I've ever come across, mine or DH's or friends and family, that does this.

 

[mapha2]

Good evening ladies (its 8:19pm here in S.A). I have a qk question, I've been having some light burning sensation on both my ovaries the whole afternoon. I'm not sure if this is normal after my d&c which was done 3 days ago. Also, I haven't been bleeding but just spotting. Should I see a gynea or is it normal? Its not severe though

 

[Literati_Love]

Lindsay -

That makes a lot of sense since you are the higher income, although it definitely would be hard to give up some of your mat leave! Your solution of working part-time while your husband is off sounds excellent. That definitely is a huge perk that you have such flexibility with your own hours. And if you were able to overlap for 5-6 weeks that would be amazing!! I am sure you would really love all that time with your hubby!

I haven't done a very good job of saving to help us out while I'm on mat leave, but I have been carefully saving to pay myself two weeks' salary for those two weeks that you don't get any pay with ei. I just don't think we could live for a month without a pay cheque (I also make more than my husband, but not by too much) so it'll be good to have that saved up so I can "pay myself" when the time comes.

That sucks about that big bill coming up! Do you own your apartment and that is why you have to pay for the maintenance?


Crys - That's amazing that you have such a great employer who pays full salary for your mat leave! That would definitely help a lot.

Mapha - Is it possible you are gearing up to ovulate? Have you had a negative hpt yet?

 

[Linnypops]

Blue - That's great news that you O'd! Congrats....does this mean you can have confidence in your charts from now on?

LJSmummy - feels better to start again after the limbo doesn't it?

Aleeah - Brilliant news about the scan - I guess it's understandable to still feel a tiny bit apprehensive but seeing a heartbeat really reduces the chances of mc, no matter at what stage....I love a curry whenever, but you really deserve one x

Lindsay - wow, so it'll be official. Well done, a great milestone. That's great leave you get as well. x


slg - wow that seems harsh! I had no idea there was no state assistance for maternity leave there. Do you have a good employer?

mapha - hmmm, I dunno. I didn't have a D&C. You might ovulate super early? Or it might be worth at least speaking to your gynae to check it's nothing to worry about.

AFM i'm 7DPO and trying to keep preoccupied during the tww. My pre-preg symptoms are back, but they were also back between mc and first af....so I don't think they mean anything anymore. I really hope i'm not now stuck with sore boobs and nightly heartburn during the tww forever!

 

[Literati_Love]

Linny - I do hope those symptoms aren't just teasing you! Things are weird after a m/c so maybe now that it's your first real cycle you can trust your symptoms again? Hope so! Good luck!

 

[mindymoo]

Hey Ladies Well am back after my wkend. Had a good one lots of BDing now im confused (again) so after 25 days of bleeding i stopped on 15/10. Now I have sore boobs again, have a breakout of spots. I only got -tive HPT last Thursday?! HELP?!!!

 

[Linnypops]

LL - It would be great for my body to have gone back to how it normally was. if i'm not preg this month then hopefully after a couple more cycles it'll settle down! How are you doing love? I see you got your crosshairs!

 

[Linnypops]

mindy - Oh, the body is impossible to figure out after mc, sorry to say. could be anything. They *say* you can't O with HCG in your system, but many women's personal accounts say that's rubbish....You can also O super-early after mc too....Hard to say, sorry i don't have better answers but i'm pretty new to it all so some of the other ladies can probably give you better answers....you can start charting already if you want more of an idea?

 

[Literati_Love]

Linny - yes, I hope so too!
Thanks! Yeah, I am excited about my crosshairs. It always feels like an accomplishment when I get those. I am doing well although feeling rather anxious for when I am pregnant since my work wasn't the most cooperative a while back when I brought up some hazards that I shouldn't be around when I'm pregnant so now I keep having these panic attacks about them not cooperating even when I get a doctor's note and having my baby be harmed. I am trying not to worry but it is so troubling. I suppose I just have to trust that they will honour a doctor's note when I get it. They would be stupid not to as I could take legal action against them if they didn't.

As for symptoms, I have none at 3 DPO of course! I feel oddly relaxed (besides the aforementioned panic attacks! ) but I normally do for the first half of the TWW and then in the last half I go crazy!
Good for you for not going too nuts yet.

Mindy - you could definitely be ovulating already! Do you normally get sore boobs at OV time? Sometimes I break out around ov as well.

 

[Linnypops]

LL - I know what you mean about the cross hairs! I was really happy when i saw them, a malicious little part of my brain was saying i'd never see them

I can see why you'd worry, but with a doctors note it would be pretty hard for a company to go against it....Employers can always tut about those kinds of things but (at least here in the UK) it is illegal to place a pregnant woman into a risky work environment. They have to find other options and if they can't - they have to give her full paid leave! I would check where you are what the law has to say about it and go in with all of that as a back-up.

x

 

[Aleeah]

Mindymoo - So glad you had a good break. This might shock you but you easily could be ovulating again . I ovulated exactly 3 weeks after my D&C and I'm now pregnant, so very possible. My HCG was at 45 on 09/09/2013 and according to the pregnancy I must've ovulated a week later !! So I'm guessing from it going to zero and me ovulating would have been a matter of days . I didn't think it possible but it happened.

Mapha - It's normal not to heavily bleed following a D&C, I spotted for 2 days following mine and that was it. I'm not sure what the light burning sensation is, I certainly had light cramping 2 days following my D&C which I put down to my uterus going back to size.

Linnypops - Your chart's looking really good, wow what high numbers!! This very well could be your month if I'm not mistaken!! Fingers and toes crossed for you!!

Lindsay - Good luck with telling people from work, I've no doubt they'll be supportive and it'll make it all very real for you . I'm going to plan to try and hold out before telling work until as late as possible but I guess even with that sometimes you have to concede, if you start showing for example! And wow your maternity pay seems really good, this is going to sound terrible but I haven't even looked at what I would get! I guess I should look into it at some point!!

Crysshae - Your employer sounds amazing, any jobs for me?? I'm willing to relocate!

Literati - Yay for crosshairs!! I miss the TWW, I know it's full of hope and guessing but it's really nice to not have the pressure of baby dancing, if you do, you're just enjoying yourself and it's carefree. We haven't baby danced since that first scan, I do grudgingly suggest it but hubby always says he's too tired, fine by me!! I'm quite happy falling asleep on the sofa with the cat! She's got her stalker tendancies back now I'm pregnant again, so strange, literally clings to me and whines when I leave the house or even close a door (e.g toilet door!). She patiently sits by me when I'm being sick too. Funny how animals react to things, I'm sure she's only near me because I'm hot all the time and she likes the heat!!

Blue - How are you doing?? xx

AFM - Same old, sickness kicking in all day. I'm sure it's the prenatals that make me sick but I can't exactly not take them either. Will speak to the doctor when I see her next week. Next scan is booked for next Wednesday xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Linny - there are similar provisions here for pregnant people but I am such a timid person who hates conflict so I am terrified of having to make a fight for it. But I am sure you must be right that they will honour a doctor's note. If they want to complain about it, fine, but they still have to comply! You made me feel a bit better - thanks.

Aleeah - I agree the TWW is not so bad (at first) because the stress of BDing is over with. Tht is funny that it is your DH turning you down in your case! I am always the one doing the rejecting over here!

Can't wait to hear about your next scan next Wednesday! I am so glad you still have all the good signs! What time of day are you taking the prenatals and are you taking them with food? I am sure the vitamins might have something to do with the nausea but don't be so quick to dismiss rapidly doubling hCG levels as the culprit!

 

[teacup]

AFM - Same old, sickness kicking in all day. I'm sure it's the prenatals that make me sick but I can't exactly not take them either. Will speak to the doctor when I see her next week. Next scan is booked for next Wednesday xxx

Make sure you don't take the prenatals on an empty stomach because they make me sick that way too. I take them at night after eating and that seems to be fine.

SO pleased your scan went well and you got to see babys heartbeat! Congratulations! xxx