Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[ljsmummy]

Thanks Blue.
I just felt so angry and I dont even know why.I had a few of the 'it wasn't meant to be' comments and 'youve still got time to have another one' which I think sent me over the edge. I know ive still got time etc etc but I wanted the baby that we lost,and nothing can replace it . People can be so insensitive. I had to just ignore everyone all day or I would have cried/shouted/gone home.
I completely understand about wanting people not to act like they didnt exist.You seem to get one type of person or the other,the ones who tread on eggshells and act like nothing has happened,or the ones who need to know everything and feel like its their right and offer poorly thought out condolences.

Its rough that you are having to wait around for the baby to show.You are a better person than me for even being willing to be there. I too would have to push myself to be excited about it.

so angry at the world today!!xx

 

[bluestars]

I know honey. I was just talking about this today. I got a lot of that!' Your young you will have another' etc I blew a gasket. Im grieving the loss of my child and the bond we made not just a pregnancy. I evebtually just said it. Im grieving my child not the loss of a pregnancy. They where shocked but if they dont understand then its the only way.

Im with you in hating the world today. I want to scream at someone but I cant. Im not seen as a person thats like that. Xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Ljs- so sorry being back at work was so tough. I am so surprised that people were so snoopy with you! You're right - there really are just the two extremes of just pretending it never happened or thinking every detail is their business! I do not have an easy time talking about what happened And it's only when the right mood strikes that I really could use an ear to listen. I never want to discuss it with coworkers though. I don't feel I can trust them and it's none of their business.

Blue - so sorry you hate the world today. I feel the same, although it was worse yesterday. Bad days like this are rough, and I'm sure yours is exacerbated by the fact that you are in sort of a tricky situation with this baby coming and reminding you of your boys. so sorry, dear!

 

[bluestars]

Thanks lit. Flight prices have gone up this week so now evennless chance I will get home ! Just eant to burry my head !xxxx

 

[bluestars]

Thanks lit. Flight prices have gone up this week so now evennless chance I will get home ! Just eant to burry my head !

how are you today lit? Xxxx

 

[bluestars]

Thanks lit. Flight prices have gone up this week so now evennless chance I will get home ! Just want to burry my head !

how are you today lit? Xxxx

 

[bluestars]

Waw really dont know why my posts keep posting more than once....

 

[slg76]

Kim-How are you today? Are your betas still going down? I've been thinking of you

LL--sorry this wasn't your month. Doesn't it feel like every cycle takes forever??

blue--I just bought some soft cups yesterday and I also figure it can't hurt. I read stories where women actually had their OH "deposit" directly into the soft cup and then they inserted it. They got pregnant doing this! Not that this is my plan but I was surprised that the cups were that effective.
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your family. Would they understand if you decided to go home and take care of yourself? I have a little heart ache that my sister is due any day and I love her dearly. I imagine it would be 100 times harder with a step-mom who, if I remember right, you said you weren't that fond of. Sending some support your way

LJS-I have to tell you that every time I see your picture I think of how stunning your dress is! Amazing!
You have every reason to be grumpy. We are here to help you through it! Don't feel like you have to stay away unless that is what is best for you. Co-workers can be no nosey! It's a weird boundary since you spend so much time with them yet they aren't people that you pick to be friends. Your co-workers don't need any details unless you want to provide them. I'm sure if you say "I'm just not up to talking about it" they will leave you alone. By the way, I stink at temping too!

My headache finally seems to be resolving. I'm so grateful! I talked to the nurse today who said that the tissue I passed could have been pregnancy tissue but was likely uterine lining. I don't know what to think since nothing like that has ever come out of me! I guess I hoped it was the baby since my husband is upset that we don't have the baby to give him/her a proper goodbye.

 

[ljsmummy]

Thank you so much ladies. It makes me feel really supported that I can come on here and vent and no one gets cross with me for it!
Blue -im also not seen as someone who would scream and shout at people,but believe me I came close to it!people dont seem to understand that we are grieving,and that's not fair. Any signs of the baby arriving yet?I would just get myself out of there and go home!you are a much nicer person than me.

Literati-thank you.Im the same,I dont want to talk about it to just anyone,the only person I do talk about it with it DH and I have to be in the mood for talking even then.Its our business!how are you,hope af is treating you kindly?

slg-thanks so much I do still love my wedding dress 3 years later!so glad I went with the red,even though it wasn't to everyone's taste! Youre right in that we dont pick our co workers to be our friends,that's true and I hadnt thought of it like that!ive been in my job a few years and get on well with most of them,but I dont see them socially and doubt out of work I would have much in common with them.i was a little 'deer caught in the headlights' by it all on my first day back,but wont be like it on monday!
I dont know why I can't seem to temp,I dont get nice little neat lines mine is all over the place?!?
I also passed somethinf after I had my ectopic,although I had surgery to remove the tube and baby so I dont know how anything was left. It was also small and grey,a kind of squashed oval shape. I have no idea what it was,but I never had anything like it since then.It was a strange experience. Hugs to you hun. Hope the headache has finally left you for good!

Everyone else doing ok today?x x

 

[teacup]

Linny - Congratulations! That's amazing news! xx

Aleeah - That's great news that baby is nice and chunky and doing well! I'm so excited for you! xxx

SLG - I know what you mean about wanting to give the baby a proper goodbye. I felt that way too. I passed the sac day 2 of bleeding, and it looked like a very small kidney. I put it on a piece of clean tissue to show OH but he didn't want to see it - he is a little squeamish. So I flushed it away. How are your hCG levels? Hope your headache has gone. I usually get headaches just before AF - they seem to be hormone related for me. xx

AFM - Tested on my birthday 27th Oct and got a BFN and then predictably spotting started that day. Turned into a VERY heavy AF, I wonder if maybe not all the lining shed when I miscarried? But the scan said everything had gone. Onto ttc for another cycle I guess!

 

[slg76]

Hi Teacup,
Sorry that AF has showed. I hear that it's common for the AF after a mc to be very heavy. I guess the lining isn't fully shed during the mc. My doctor told me to expect it.

I'm a pretty practical person but hubby is very emotional. I think especially for him it would be helpful to have a goodbye of some sort for the baby. I actually would love for this tissue to be the baby but I know realistically it's probably not. I will have to think on what might be a good idea for a good bye...maybe a special prayer with a priest at church? I'm not religious but he is very catholic.

My headache is much better than it was although I woke up with just a bit of one today. My HPT is just barely positive (just a cheap wondfo). I will have another beta level done on Monday. Last week's was 144 and the nurse told me I would still have a couple more weeks to go before 0. That nurse is always a little pessimistic for my taste so I'm ignoring her

 

[pipsbabybean]

Hi ladies, I'm just jumping in for nat0609.. She wanted me to update u guys, after her life ban ,
Any who she's just found out Monday she's expecting after her two losses, she's sorry she can't come update u guys and asked me to, and wishes that u r all well

 

[teacup]

Hi Teacup,
Sorry that AF has showed. I hear that it's common for the AF after a mc to be very heavy. I guess the lining isn't fully shed during the mc. My doctor told me to expect it.

I'm a pretty practical person but hubby is very emotional. I think especially for him it would be helpful to have a goodbye of some sort for the baby. I actually would love for this tissue to be the baby but I know realistically it's probably not. I will have to think on what might be a good idea for a good bye...maybe a special prayer with a priest at church? I'm not religious but he is very catholic.

My headache is much better than it was although I woke up with just a bit of one today. My HPT is just barely positive (just a cheap wondfo). I will have another beta level done on Monday. Last week's was 144 and the nurse told me I would still have a couple more weeks to go before 0. That nurse is always a little pessimistic for my taste so I'm ignoring her

Maybe plant a tree in baby's memory? I think that would be a nice idea. Glad your hCG is dropping now, I hope you reach 0 soon. xx

 

[Literati_Love]

Pipsbabybean - thank you for the update on Nat! I have been wondering about her. Tell her congrats from me! How wonderful. When is she due?

And I'm beyond curious how she managed to get a life ban, but I assume I won't find that out.

Teacup- all of my AFs after the m/c have been extremely heavy (I've had 4 now). I think this 4th one now is finally a bit less clotty at least, but I am only on cd 2 so who knows. Cycle buddies for this month? We're not too far off, anyway. When do your normally ov?

Slg - yes, it really does seem like every cycle takes FOREVER! I am getting ready to throw in the towel (but not really, because I want a baby way too much for that)!

What would it mean if you shed something from the uterine lining? Could that just happen during any AF?

I hope your pessimistic nurse is wrong and your levels are just around the corner from zero!

Ljs- it definitely is a very personal thing. hopefully your coworkers completely stop prying now. Weird that you passed some grey tissue after too.

How is everyone else?

Blue - any word on the baby? Are you hating the world any less today?

AFM - cd2. AF is heavy but not as brutal as last month so far. I was very miserable last night. Had a glass of wine and 2 donuts and then didn't even feel like watching TV again. Just sat on the couch and did nothing, then went to bed at 9:30. Slept in today til 10:30 Haha. I was tired! DH and I plan on just having a lazy day watching TV/movies and staying in our PJs!

What are all of your weekend plans?

 

[bluestars]

Aww thats great news for nat. Give her my congratulations !

Planting a tree is a lovely idea. We did this for the boys but we live somewhere where there is NO trees so I have no hope that they will stay standing haha. We also raised butterflies and released them. And will do each year for them.

No baby yet. She went for her sweep and they couldnt do it as her cervix was too high. So midwife said not to expect baby noe unyil monday/tuesday.

Gran is sending me home on wed/ thursday plane. So if I get pregger this cycle then its thanks to her haha if not I can have mad sexy time with OH lol either way its random and spontanious. Yes I sort of hate the world a little less today. Ive made myself go out to see my sister. Both sober due to baby waiting but out is better than in and thinking.


My afs have been heavier since the mc. First couole reminded me of the first stages of labour with them so it was very emotional. But think im over that bridge now.


What are you guys planning ? Do yous celebrate guy fox? Xxx

 

[bluestars]

Aww thats great news for nat. Give her my congratulations !

Planting a tree is a lovely idea. We did this for the boys but we live somewhere where there is NO trees so I have no hope that they will stay standing haha. We also raised butterflies and released them. And will do each year for them.

No baby yet. She went for her sweep and they couldnt do it as her cervix was too high. So midwife said not to expect baby noe unyil monday/tuesday.

Gran is sending me home on wed/ thursday plane. So if I get pregger this cycle then its thanks to her haha if not I can have mad sexy time with OH lol either way its random and spontanious. Yes I sort of hate the world a little less today. Ive made myself go out to see my sister. Both sober due to baby waiting but out is better than in and thinking.


My afs have been heavier since the mc. First couole reminded me of the first stages of labour with them so it was very emotional. But think im over that bridge now.


What are you guys planning ? Do yous celebrate guy fox? Xxx

 

[bluestars]

(So sorry for double posting guys!!!)

 

[pipsbabybean]

Thanks ladies I shall pass it on to her, I think beginning of July is edd,

The ban is abit of long story, to do with choice words with admin I think

 

[Literati_Love]

That sucks. Well I'm sure it was for a good cause. Has she joined any other forums, such as babycentre?


Blue - Yayyyy, gran to the rescue! I do hope you make it in time! Do you have any fertile signs yet?

 

[pipsbabybean]

No I don't think she has Hun ,