Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[Literati_Love]

Blue- oh, boo. that is too bad! But if it makes you feel any better, it would be terrifying to be so early on in December anyway and if you get pregnant next cycle you can find out right before Christmas which would be a great Christmas present! That is what I am telling myself for if I don't get pregnant this month.

AFM - after only 3 days of flow (going from heavy cd1, medium cd2 and light cd3) my AF is completely done already! I have never had such a short AF in my entire life! So I also wonder if I will ovulate early since it cleared up so quickly. I am pleased and hope this means my body is going back to normal. Who knows- maybe I'll even ovulate from my right this month?

But as positive as I sound I'm actually pretty darn gloomy today. =\ can't wait to go home and snuggle with DH. And I am at least looking forward to Christmas now that there's snow on the ground.

 

[Linnypops]

Blue - ah no that's rubbish love! Well, there's still time before Xmas, and a break from it all means renewed vigour next month too x

LL - the thing with really good friends is you can end up like sisters with raging silences and arguments, but really...if she found out tomorrow you really needed her...or vice versa....I bet you'd both be there x

If the roads are too icy etc then you could try and set up a surprise hibernation weekend, candles, nice food, massage oils, hot baths, chocolate, wine ... my own description has made me jealous of it.

Aleeah - got to love some crisp bed sheets! It's good the worst of symptoms are easing off now....do you have other scans coming up? My symptoms are just sore boobs and vivid dreams still...some nausea waves but nothing too much. I had a scan today in fact, to check pregnancy location (cramping in my left hand side a lot) . They saw a sac and faint outline of yolk in the right place! only 4w 5d so seems to be about right. Got another in 2 weeks because they still haven't found source of the pain. I feel like I'm in very good hands this time around...what about you, is anything different this time for you? Did you feel well supported by medical est?

 

[Literati_Love]

Linny- your idea of a romantic staycation sounds amazing! I'll definitely get right on planning that.

So happy for you that your scan went well.

 

[Lindsay109]

Life, yay for a fresh start! I hope this first cycle brings you a nice sticky bfp!!

Aleeah, I wouldn't worry too much about the symptoms being on and off, as long as they're still there it's a good sign, and your hcg won't be increasing as quickly anymore and that is normal Enjoy your lovely crisp sheets! That is one of my favourite things too.

Blue, very exciting that you get to meet your new sister or brother soon!! Sorry to hear you won't be able to get home though I agree with LL though, hopefully you'll get the best Christmas present ever... a bfp

LL, sorry you're having a down day I hope the day flies by and you can go home and relax! I like Linny's idea of a weekend in, I think you should do that Her description is making me jealous too, lol. I'm getting excited for Christmas too. We bought some Christmas lights on the weekend (because they were inexepnsive at Costco and our ones from last year don't work anymore) and I really want to put them up now, lol. Still kinda too early though... 2 or 3 weeks should be long enough to wait though

Linny, glad to hear you're feeling like you're in good hands this time That's great news that your little bean is in the right place!!

 

[slg76]

Blue--sorry you won't make it home. Sounds like it's been a crazy time waiting for that baby. My sister is 4 days overdue now and cranky! I don't live anywhere near her so I have to wait to meet the baby anyhow.

Aleeah--I get excited every time I wash and change my sheets. It's one of my favorite simple pleasures in life

LL--sorry bff still isn't talking to you. I've had that happen with several close friends over the years and it's just the pits. Hang in there.

Lindsay--I saw a friend recently who I'm not close to and don't see often but we run into each other at social events. She was clearly pregnant and I still didn't feel comfortable bringing it up first!! I still don't know how far along she is but she had a definite bump and she is a very fit runner so pretty easy to tell.

I'm still fighting my everlasting headache but it's still not as bad as it was. Dr. did some blood work today for thyroid.
today's beta was 35. I'm two and a half weeks or so out from aspiration. I'm pleased and think in one more week I should be back near zero. My wondfo was negative this morning although it did have a slight line after it dried. My OPK is getting lighter too which is great. Sometimes my OPKs stay positive for weeks at a time so it makes it hard to tell when I ovulate...if I ovulate. I'm going on ovulation watch now.

 

[Literati_Love]

Lindsay - that's great you bought some Christmas lights! We never bothered putting any up on our house last year but we do probably need new ones for our tree. I agree in 2 or 3 weeks it won't be too soon to decorate!

Slg -

Thanks. I am happy to report that my best friend and I are currently in the process of working it out. Turns out over quite a long period we'd both been starting to feel like we were drifting and we both got really insecure and that made us both oversensitive about each other's words and also made us maybe less careful with our own words. I do think after to tonight we will mostly be fixed and I do think I will share a bit less with her from now on, but I do also get the impression that she is really going to try to be more supportive and I am going to try to trust that. Who knows - maybe after this talk we will be closer than we were before.

When will you get to see your sister's baby?

Yay for you getting closer and closer to an hCG of 0! It does sound like it's right around the corner for you! Sorry that I forget, but are you going to start trying right away or are you waiting for a certain number of AFs?

I am so sorry your headache is still ailing you!

 

[slg76]

LL
So glad to hear that you and your friend talked it out I find that it is always for the better to have everything out in the open. At least if you do drift apart it won't be because of a misunderstanding. She must really value you as a friend to work on the problem between you. Hopefully now she can give you some much-needed support.

So glad that my HCG has dropped quickly. I met the nurse in person today who I have been talking with on the phone for weeks now. She thought I was funny to be testing at home even though they are doing betas I have to do something even if it is only POAS. She is my favorite nurse in the office because she always has a positive attitude. She thinks my beta will be negative next week. We are ready to try right away. I have a fertility Dr. and she is ready to start me on injectables during my first period after the mc. We mean business about getting this baby! I say that like we have any control over it I'm on a little bit of a time line because I'm "old" (37) and because after baby I need to get back on my cancer medication that I can't take while ttc/pregnant/or breast feeding. No pressure or anything

Not sure when I will meet new nephew Grayson. My sister lives a 2.5 hour flight plus 2.5 hour drive away. I will plan a trip in the next few months to visit, depending on what plans come together for christmas. My whole family is getting together this year but not sure if we are going. My family isn't crazy about my husband so it's always tense. It's also ridiculous because my husband is awesome

 

[Aleeah]

Blue - I'm so sorry you're not going home now. But like the others have said, maybe this is all meant to happen so you can get preggo the next cycle. I can imagine it's hard but hang in there. And hopefully that pesky little brother or sister of yours will be out to meet you real soon.

Literati - Fantastic news about you and your friend. Like Linny said, sometimes close friends are like sisters and you can argue and still come back stronger. I'm sure things will sort themselves out quickly, especially now the first steps have been taken. I can imagine it's been putting added stress on you, so hopefully now things can go back to normal.

I'm also glad AF has cleared up and you'll be onto baby dancing duties soon, that's the fun part! xx

Linnypops - YYYYAAAAYYYY for the awesome scan!!! I had a scan at 5 weeks too (actually that's how I found out I was pregnant!) and all they saw was the sac and yolk and 2 weeks later there was a blob with a heartbeat, I'm sure you'll be fine too. I was disappointed to find out I was pregnant initially, as I knew I'd get no further support in terms of medication throughout the pregnancy, as they can't do a lot of tests whilst I'm pregnant that they would have done if I wasn't pregnant. So the only further support I've had is weekly scans from 7 weeks (my next scan is tomorrow) and actually that has helped. I've been a lot more relaxed knowing everything's ok.

I feel better supported, as during previous m/c's I always seem to get a different nurse or doctor everytime I've been in. But with going under the Fertility Clinic, I've been so much happier seeing the same faces and the same doctor. I've been going to my appointments on my own (as hubby freaked out following the last miscarriage, and I worry about him, so easier on my own) but I'm comfortable doing that as I feel I've got to know the staff now.

How do you feel about it all? I hope the scan helped to settle your nerves a bit. I know 2 weeks will feel like a long time, but try and put it all to the back of your mind and hopefully it'll fly by xx

Lindsay - Love that you want to put lights up! I've gone mad on things this year, even brought new plates etc too! I'm desperate to get it all out (our spare room is filling up quickly with Christmas related decorations!) but hubby is adament it's too soon and I know he's right but I still can't wait to start!!

SLG - I'm so glad your beta's are dropping so fast, sounds like you'll be back to zero before you know it. I found the last drop happened much faster than the rest. And I'm sure we were all POAS addicts at some point! If there was counselling on too much peeing on a stick, I think I'd have had to attend!!!

And you're not old at all, my sister in law got pregnant at 40 and had the beautiful daughter she so craved to complete her family. It's not considered old at all, you fell pregnant before, and I'm sure you will again but it must be exciting to know you'll be getting to try again real soon. I'm sorry you still then have to take cancer meds but I'm praying you stay clear of cancer forever now anyway.

Families are always funny about certain things, sounds like hubby's really looked after you though. Why not go to the family get together anyway? Sod it, he's part of your life for life, they'll just have to get used to it and see him for the lovely man he is!! I'm sure they'll change their opinions if he's forced on them for long enough...!

Crysshae - Hope you're ok, guessing you must be near testing soon? xx

A
xxxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Slg - yes, we both value our friendship a lot. I am the one who broke the silence and insisted we talk. She was resistant at first but when I opened up by apologizing (even though I didn't really feel I did anything wrong) it broke the ice and she did admit she was being a crappy friend that day. Turns out, we were both waiting for PMS to end to talk so we didn't bite each other's heads off! anyway, we did have a good talk and things are a lot better now. I still feel a bit weird now because this was a big thing, but I'm sure with time all wounds will heal. Thanks for your support!

That is awful that your family doesn't like your husband! I can relate because although my immediate family LOVES my husband, a few people in my extended family aren't the nicest to him and I always feel incredibly tense and protective of him at large family gatherings. But I agree with Aleeah that they should have to be around him anyway and someday they will warm up to him!

I am just curious- why do you still have to take cancer meds? Is the cancer not gone yet or do you have to continue taking meds for a few years to help ensure it doesn't return? Sorry if I'm being too nosy!

I understand the feeling of time pressure but a lot of families choose to have kids later these days and at 37 you're not too far gone. I would be more concerned at 40. I do hope the injectables work first try!!!!

Aleeah - thanks! Having things right with her does make a lot of things so much better.

I'm looking forward to hearing about your scan tomorrow! So glad you're getting the attention you need and deserve! And yay for premature Christmas decorating!

How is everyone else?

 

[bluestars]

Hey guys quick check in

LL -so glad you and your friend have made up. It will take time to heal but it will. Hopefully things will be on the b up for you!

Slg- get injecting haha! And you aren't n old!!! Lol I'm curious as to why you have to go back onto your cancer medication? Hope its all gone!

Aleeah- hope you're scan goes well !!! I'm looking forward to your update!!

How is everyone else?

afm- baby is still not here!! 27 hours in labour ! This labour is dragging out!!! Come on baby!!!

xxx

 

[slg76]

It is very hard that family doesn't really like my husband. It is really mostly my mom that doesn't care for him but since she is the head of the family it kind of spreads from there. She does try to be nice to him but it is tense between them. Not really sure even she knows why she doesn't like him. I think it's just because I was the kid closest to her and once I met Jeff there just wasn't as much room in my life for her. I'm not too hopeful about things getting much better since I've been with Jeff 9 years now! Oh well, I love Jeff dearly and we just make it work. We do sometimes go to family events but I know it's not very fun for Jeff. My family is a 2.5 hour flight away so it's not like we can just pop in for a few hours.

As far as we know my cancer is gone. My lymph nodes were never involved which is great and all my mammograms and MRI's since treatment have been clear. My cancer had estrogen and progesterone receptors on it and those hormones fuel the growth of the cancer. In case there are any stray cancer cells still in my body, I have to take medication to block those hormones to prevent any new tumors from forming. I am supposed to take it for 5 years. I took it for a year and a half before coming off it to ttc. Once I stopped the medication it took 7 months for my cycles to return! I have to finish that five years and once I go back on it the chances that my cycles would ever return is low. It is probably because my cancer's growth was fueled by estrogen that I found my tumor while I was pregnant. I'm sure it was there already but it grew like crazy during pregnancy. I actually think it's fast growth is what caused me to catch it so early. It went from undetectable to the size of a walnut in a few weeks!! In a way I feel like my daughter, Emily, may have saved my life!

Ok, that's a lot about me!! I'm off now to take Emily to dance class.

 

[bluestars]

We have a baby!!!!

She is a beautiful little girl ! Very very cute so wide wake and content! She is adorable.
She is worth skipping a month ... hehe trying to keep reminding myself !

Slg- thats a shane that your mums not fond of your husband you would think she would stand bybyour choices and be happy for you. But I understand that she feels like you two arent as close. Maybe with a lot more time it will be fine.

Hopefully cancer is properly away. Five years on medication is a lot. and its a shame that irnwill make your cycles stop! But I suppose its worth it when you get to spend your life with you little ones !

how is everyone ? Xxx

 

[Aleeah]

Blue - YAY!! Congratulations on getting another sister! I'm so jealous!! They smell so good and all wrinkly and cute!! And can't wait for you to post some pics xx

SLG - I hope the cancer stays away, it makes sense what you said about the cells growing rapidly during pregnancy, I've heard a lot of the same with many different things, that multiply during pregnancy at a much faster rate. I hope you get pregnant quickly and it's a nice smooth pregnancy for you, so you can get back on your meds, I can't imagine how much it would worry me, it's so refreshing to hear you're so strong. I believe firmly, we all have a reason to be here, we just might now know it ever, your little girl really did have a reason to come to earth and she showed it from the minute she was conceived. That's such a lovely thing and I'm sure leads to a bond closer with her than most have with their children. Thank you for sharing with us xxxx

 

[Lindsay109]

Slg, thanks for sharing your story. I do hope your cancer truly gone and your next pregnancy goes smoothly without incident! It sounds like your daughter was conceived at just the right time That's too bad that your family is not too fond of your husband. Families can be so funny sometimes, you would think that they would stand by your choice, as it is your life.

Blue, congrats on another sister!! I bet she is adorable! Babies always are What's her name?

LL, glad to hear you and your friend are sorting things out How are you feeling today? I hope things are looking a little brighter for you today

Aleeah, glad to hear I'm not the only crazy getting into the Christmas spirit a little early, lol. Even my husband is more excited for Christmas this year than he normally is (he's not a big Christmas person). Anyway, don't you have a scan today?? Very much looking forward to hearing how it goes! I've got everything crossed for you

As for me, things are good. I've been noticing kicks more strongly since yesterday which makes me smile every time... it really helps with some of the irrational fears. I've also had another guess for I went to see a client yesterday and his mum said I "looked good" and had I lost weight or something, lol (actually the opposite is true, I have now officially gained some weight) so I told her that I was pregnant - anyway, she thinks it is a boy. Apparently because the bump is in the front and I still have "my figure", lol. So far, everyone who has guessed, has guessed .

Also got some more good news this morning as my husband got a new job (there's been a labour dispute and he's been locked out of his current job for nearly 6 months now) so we are celebrating today His starting day is supposed to be the 18th, which is also the day of my 20 week ultrasound, so he's going to call and see if it's possible to push the start date back until the 19th - hopefully it's okay as I don't really want to go by myself.

 

[Linnypops]

Slg - Wow. I can only admire your courage. To have gone through so much and still be willing to give it a shot, that is great! I hope you get your bfp quickly. X

Blue - Congrats on your new little sister!

Lindsay - Great news that you're feeling kicking! Does it feel much more real now? And good news about your hubby too! I bet they'll push start date back if he explains. x

 

[Aleeah]

Baby's doing well, measuring correct to my ticker too, so that's good news too, very pleased.

Lindsay - Great news you can feel kicks, must be so lovely, a cute little reminder! And wow brilliant news about hubby's job too, remember what they say, good things come in three's, hopefully you'll win the lottery next!!!

Linny - Hope you're well and getting used to be up the duff! xx

xxx

 

[Lindsay109]

Linny, yes it is feeling more real now... also because more people know. They did push back the start date for hubby, so I'm very happy... didn't want to go alone to the scan! How are you doing? I hope all is well with you too!

Yay!!!! Great news Aleeah!!! I'm so happy for you Every week your chance of m/c will be going down. I was told that if all is good at 10 weeks, your chance of loss (of any type) is only 1% for the remainder of the pregnancy and you're very very close to that milestone!!

Hmm,yeah maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket, lol . Actually I'd be even happier if "thing 3" was a good ultrasound on the 18th

 

[Literati_Love]

Slg- that is so cool that in a way your daughter saved your life! It is unfortunate that the drugs they have you on are so harsh, but I'm glad you have this opportunity now to have a baby before you resume your medication. And that is really hard that your family won't accept Jeff. He sounds like a great guy!

Blue- yay, hooray! Welcome to the world, baby! I am so glad she is worth missing a month.

Lindsay - that is so interesting that everyone keeps guessing you're having a boy. Is that your guess as well?
I'm so glad your husband can attend your ultrasound on the 18th. That is wonderful that he found a new job! My DH is on the hunt as well, but no success yet.

Aleeah - that is absolutely amazing that your baby is doing so well! I am beyond thrilled for you!! I also just realized that you are EXACTLY as far along as my friend who recently informed me she's pregnant (who I'm insanely jealous of). Are you due June 8th as well?

AFM - I am doing fine today. Work has been keeping me busy so I'm not thinking about much else. My amazon order arrived today with a book about miscarriages. I sort of picked it randomly so I will let you all know if it's any good. DH will be gone for part of the evening so I'll probably start it tonight.

I think AF is officially gone now and we will start our bd marathon on cd7, which conveniently is also the 7th of the month (so none of you will have to ask what cd I'm on this month! )

 

[slg76]

Congratulations on little sister, Blue!! My sister sent a message a few hours ago saying that she is headed to the hospital to have her baby!

Thanks for all your kind words. Life has been hard the past few years for me but I figure the only way to make it better and to truly put the cancer behind me is to move forward. I'm sure I, and the rest of you great ladies, will be holding a baby sometime soon even if not as soon as we would like

 

[klsltsp]

Hey ladies!!

Blue congrats on the new sister!!

Aleeha soo happy that everything is going sooo well!!! congrats!

Lindsay I loove those kicks... enjoy every single one!

LL I love the BD marathon... this is your month i can feel it!!

SLG what you've gone through is an inspiration, and puts so much of life into perspective... it is hard when your family doesn't like your dh... but it says a lot about how strong you two are glad your headaches are easing off!

AFM, well I was discharged from hospital sunday, I had a ultrasound yesterday and the mass has shrunk!!! yipee!! and my bloodwork is dropping fast!! I'm down to 343 which is amazing. It turns out what happened to me was I had the rares form of an ectopic pregnancy that you can have... it was on my c-section scar, apparently from 1978 - 2003 there were only 45 reported cases in all of medical english literature!! so no wonder there is no protocol.. i was so close to rupturing....very scary.. I feel like someone was watching over me.. since I wasn't feeling sick or anything so it was really a fluke that I went to my gp and that she sent me to the er... and that they were able to properly diagnose me... if they had done a d&c (which was the original plan) I would have lost my uterus....

So I've been told as long as my uterus heals (which they expect it will) I can TTC in about 3 - 6 months

I hope to not see any of you here LOL

Take care ladies!

Kim