Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[bluestars]

Thanks for all the encouragement. There just no convincing me though. Im not going to get myself all worked up about it. Its the norm for me now. Neg neg neg. I think the day I see a positive I may collapse with the shock! Haha.

lindsay thats hilarious about your kindle. We are the beach all the time (our island is a beach haha) and my old kindle was constantly filled with sand.

Im glad that your hubbies doing ok and hope that the twice weekly appointments go well.

Yes I think its pretty hunger games esk. Its rather interesting though. Think its coming out on film. Xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Happy Valentine's Day to you all as well!

Blue - I definitely didn't have any symptoms before 8dpo, and then the symptoms I had were just like PMS symptoms. And I didn't have sore boobs til 5 weeks. So, as all the ladies said, your lack of symptoms don't mean anything. I get that you won't be convinced, though. Guess we'll have to wait and find out.

That will be good to finally find out if you have PCOS or not. It's crazy that you can't get a solid diagnosis on that.

Linny - Thanks! I hope it stays away too. I have to say that not feeling starving constantly has been a huge relief (when you said that went away eventually, I had some hope but honestly doubted it would be true for me). I really hope the nausea permanently stays away too. I'll keep you posted. I don't think the smell aversions are going to leave any time soon though.

I am SOO excited for you about your scan! So glad your little daughter is doing well and I really hope this can stop the worrying for good this time! I know a tiny bit of worry never leaves, but I do hope you can just relax now! I honestly feel a bit jealous that you're having a girl...even though I don't actually know what I'm having yet. It seems like a lot of people have anterior placentas! I have a sneaking suspicion that I do -not- have an anterior placenta because I'm already feeling these twitchy feelings you're all describing as movements...but who knows.

Have you bought any baby stuff yet?

Crys - Thanks. Your chart looks great, regardless of whether your O temp was super low or not!

Aleeah - Definitely don't be shocked by putting on a stone (which I of course had to google and convert to pounds ). That is extremely normal, and actually less weight than most people I know have put on by that time! I know how you feel with wondering where it's coming from because you're not eating all that differently. If you read about weight gain online though, you would see that a significant portion of your pregnancy weight gain is just extra blood volume, amniotic fluid, placenta (those things are heavy!), baby, extra breast tissue, and fluid retention. Very little of it is actually body fat, and the parts that are fat are necessary for those weeks of breastfeeding when the baby arrives!

Thanks for the flattery. I really am eating like a horse these days (well, less the past 2 weeks) so I'm sure the pounds will catch up with me soon.

Lindsay - Wow, twice a week monitoring is a lot! At least you know they're taking good care of you. I could imagine that would make life very busy, though.

That is amazing the service your auto insurance is providing! Cleaning service! Wow! That sure will be a treat...and a very needed one I'm sure because you're not in a state to be doing all that!

AFM - Yes, still sick...but as I read on one of my apps today, there is a reason for the immune system being down during pregnancy and it has to make sure the body doesn't destroy the baby (weird and kind of gruesome to think about). So I suppose I should be thankful that this sickness is neverending?

I took the day off today so I had a lovely sleep-in and am just trying to rest up. I am a bit sad because my DH is the type to always send me chocolates and flowers, but since he is jobless we can't afford those luxuries. However, I still expected maybe a card and some cheap grocery store chocolates (now that chocolate finally isn't repulsing me!) but I've been looking around the house since I woke up and haven't found anything. He did make me a smoothie though. I guess that counts? I am guessing I will get something later, and I probably shouldn't be so spoiled.

Today I am reflective on the fact that I'm really having trouble bonding with this baby still. This past weekend I discovered one of my acquaintances had recently had a miscarriage, so I shared with her my own so that she would know she's not alone. However, she ended up sort of making me feel (without saying anything directly) like mine was less significant or not that hard because it was so early. I find a lot of people make me feel that way - whether they mean to or not - which is why I dread the question, "How far along were you?" They always seem to answer with a sort of relieved "oh" as if it wasn't that bad then.

But the truth is that no one knows how I loved my baby so incredibly much from the moment I found out I was pregnant. And, to be quite honest, I was more bonded with baby #1 at 6 weeks than I am bonded to this baby now. DH and I used to go on long walks and just talk about all the fun things we'd do with the baby, and I would always make comments about what the baby liked or didn't like. I felt the baby had a huge personality already and I was so close to him/her. This time I sometimes even forget the fact that there's a baby in there. I never talk to him/her...and DH rarely does. I know I'm pregnant and how far along I am, but rarely visualize having a baby this summer and when I do I don't get as excited as I used to. It gets better the further along I get, and of course I love this baby deeply...but I just feel really bad that I'm not quite as smitten and excited as I was the last time.

Anyway, I just needed somewhere to get that off my chest. I hope you all have a lovely Valentine's Day.

 

[bluestars]

Think ive just experienced my first evap ...way to get hopes up and let me down again!!

 

[brighteyez73]

Blue - Are you sure? How long before you took picture?

 

[bluestars]

It was maybe just over the 3 minute mark. Can you see anything ? The line is still there xxx

 

[brighteyez73]

GM ladies,

spotting late yesterday and today not only am I late but I am only spotting pink. I took a cheap test and I think I see a squinter please check I will taks another test tomorrow morning. Also my temp is still climbing.

 

[Linnypops]

Blue - Yeah I saw it was coming out in the reviews for the book! I quite liked the hunger games film, never read the book, so i'm going to see if there's a divergent audio book. I can understand why you're not feeling particularly excited in the tww - hopefully you won't collapse when you get the bfp ! I can't wait to see your post that morning X

LL - it makes so much sense that you are feeling this way. To have felt so positive and certain with your first. It is totally natural to feel like you can't be certain again, can't trust your instincts, can't allow yourself to feel good etc.

I complained of the same feelings around 9 weeks to my counsellor and she said that you can't distance yourself actually, you might think you are distanced but you aren't. And she was dead right, I was saying I thought I would lose my baby during the spotting phase - but I was harbouring a lot of secret hopefullness. I never said it to anyone, and if I even felt good myself I would feel like I was jinxing things. I'm not sure if this is what you're experiencing too - but either way I think there's a big big difference between someone who feels no bond with their baby and someone who is afraid to feel the bond.

Anyway, it is so great you're feeing things already! This will make it all the more real and I hope you'll let yourself feel a wee bit of the joy you are entitled to

 

[Linnypops]

Blue - Argh! I practically spat my tea out. Why do you think it's an evap?I just faffed about with it in photoshop to see it sharper. It's totally there. Is it pink? Can you get hold of a frer? Has it gotten any darker since?

Brighteyes - I'm not sure if I can see anything on the tests from the photo but it's easier in real life to see the start of a line. Have you tried breaking it out of the casing and holding it up to the light? None of my hpt stayed in their casing ...the sudden higher temps look good!

 

[brighteyez73]

Blue - Argh! I practically spat my tea out. Why do you think it's an evap?I just faffed about with it in photoshop to see it sharper. It's totally there. Is it pink? Can you get hold of a frer? Has it gotten any darker since?

Brighteyes - I'm not sure if I can see anything on the tests from the photo but it's easier in real life to see the start of a line. Have you tried breaking it out of the casing and holding it up to the light? None of my hpt stayed in their casing ...the sudden higher temps look good!

Once I take it out the case just hold it to light? Ok I will try that.

 

[bluestars]

Lit I know what you mean about when people ask 'how far where you' I loved my babies from the minute I knew they where there. Dont listen tk anyone else. Maybe with your next scan you will feel more relaxed and be able to bond better.

Linny the first book I just finished is good. Worth the reading or in your case listening to. Xxx

 

[bluestars]

Blue - Argh! I practically spat my tea out. Why do you think it's an evap?I just faffed about with it in photoshop to see it sharper. It's totally there. Is it pink? Can you get hold of a frer? Has it gotten any darker since? !

Haha your funny linny. I have the ones aleeah sent me. Im not testing again today I'll try again tomorrow morning. That isnt my fmu either but I had held it for a couple of hours. Its pink on the test but its faint. Xxxx

 

[Linnypops]

Blue - I can't properly contain myself here but i'll try and be less excitable, I know evaps happen, and it's best to get a certain line before declaring anything etc etc . But!! - regarding evaps, my understanding is they usually show up after the time frame and also aren't pink. Anyway, I have got my various bits crossed for you XX

 

[bluestars]

Thanks linny I guess we will find out. My holding off to test never worked did it xxxx

 

[Linnypops]

Blue - Well....best laid plans and all that.

 

[bluestars]

Haha �� xxx

 

[crysshae]

Blue - If it was pink in 3 minutes, that's a positive! ICs are ridiculously faint! How did you not hold off testing yesterday and skip testing with FMU today??? Now you're making us wait to see that darker line!!! Ugh!!! Hold your water and take another one!!! Lol! I would be up dancing if it wasn't so early here!

Bright - I think I see something but can't be sure. When my line for the chemical was barely noticeable on that test, a FRER gave a good line. Fingers crossed!

 

[bluestars]

Haha crys I peed on another one. Came up the same lines. One really faint one the control. Will see how it looks tomorrow morning with another brand. I dont feel like im pregnant though. Xxxx

Ill upload the photo later when I go home xxx

 

[crysshae]

Woohoo! You don't have to feel like your pregnant to be pregnant! Lol! Those lines are always faint forever. Get a FRER on your way home! Sorry, I'm excited!

Now that you have the lines, I'm gonna tell you what I wanted to say earlier but I know how you feel so wasn't going to be a part of symptom spotting if I could help it - some of my first signs in the past have been a sore throat and headache.

 

[bluestars]

Really? Xxx

 

[crysshae]

Really. Don't know why, but I've had it, only to get a BFP a few days later.