Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[Mrs W 11]

Sorry to hear af got you slg

I'm due to ov tomorrow I think. Pos opk today and temp drop so expecting another drop tomorrow and rise Wednesday. Dtd this morning but haven't been doing before.

I expected my mc to be psychically painful but the fact that I had labour type contractions shocked me, it was like a mini labour and was devastating. The emotional pain is finally starting to get easier 4 months on. It's just so,etching I'd never wish on anyone, the hardest time if my life.

 

[Sabster]

Hi ladies! is anyone off today? I am! taking the day to study for a final on the 28th ( although I have zero desire to study) and I will be possibly taking a class this summer... I need to finish my degree but motivation is low these days.

Also, is anyone planning to do the tests for down syndrome and other chromosomal defects? what week is that at? i think I read week 11 but Im not sure, also, its expensive... but will do them.

 

[slg76]

Hi ladies. Hope everyone is having a good day

I am just starting cycle number 5 since my mc. I'm finding myself more frustrated about ttc after the mc than before. Before there was a chance that my body just couldn't get pregnant anymore. Now I know that I can get pregnant, I'm just not. I told myself I would do six natural cycles and then try a medicated cycle again. My doctor doesn't think the meds will help much but she is willing to try. I'm so tempted to just use the meds next month. It's probably not good timing because hubby is in the middle of a big change at work so he has less flexibility on what days he is home. I guess I'll have to wait out the six cycles anyway. Come on clock...speed it up!!

 

[bluestars]

Sara id have cracked and used the meds by now. Lol I started to get more and more frustrated after 5/6 months xxx

 

[Linnypops]

Thanks for sharing ladies.

Blue - I can't even begin to imagine what you must have gone through. So glad you now have your take home baby. I didn't like week 13 either, roll on second tri! x

Lit - Do you get quite bad period pains? I think we were around the same stage but I recall mine as being very painful...but I don't get period pains really, so I noticed that as a difference. Think I must be very lucky to not get them

Mrs W - I can imagine how devastating that must be to have it so similar to something you recognised as being labour. Horrible. So glad things are feeling a bit easier now....hurray for dtd days!

Sabs - I did - it was just at the same time as my NT scan - they took bloods straight after, I think it's in conjunction with the nuchal fold measurement to get as accurate a risk as poss. Anytime between 11-13 weeks I think.

Slg - Sorry to hear it's getting frustrating now, you've been so positive and upbeat! Hopefully you'll not need to bother with the meds x

Afm - I was advised at my mw appt to go and get the whooping cough jab - and I was all set to do it when i saw a thread on 3rd tri forum here about who's getting it and why etc...and i've come away from it very confused and upset. As far as I can tell there's no statistical reason to believe it isn't safe, and there's every reason to know whopping cough in a newborn isn't safe, but a lot of anecdotal evidence is being bandied about and unfortunately it has had quite a negative effect on my thinking about it. So, i'm in a quandry. Going to speak to my doctor about it and hopefully feel more at ease as I would like the added protection at birth for her. Sigh, the worry starts already! x

 

[Literati_Love]

Blue - I counted 13 as second trimester, but to be honest I didn't feel like the second trimester until 14 weeks either because that's when a few of my symptoms finally lessened very slightly (really not until 15 weeks). So I don't blame you for not counting it til 14 weeks! Personally I just wanted to be free of the first tri stigma ASAP!

Alternated - I was the same with not taking pain meds in case they were wrong. Thinking back to my level of denial makes me sad. Even when I got confirmation that my hCG had dropped to only 100 or so, I was afraid to drink alcohol or anything. Sigh.

I am feeling pretty good these days, thanks! I actually feel quite "big" already and am noticing it's difficult to bend over and put socks or shoes on already. It's also difficult getting out of low chairs. Funny how early that happens! Good luck with your BDing this month.


Mrs W - Woohoo, ov time finally! Good luck with the final portion of the BDing marathon! The emotional pain definitely comes and goes. For me, I still get really sad and cry sometimes about it, and I am 9 months post mc and also pregnant! So it doesn't go away easily...that's for sure.

Sab - I have today off. It's not a stat here, but I took a vacation day from work to extend my long weekend. Good luck on studying! It's always so hard to concentrate. I did not get the genetic testing done, but a few ladies on here did so I'm sure they can help you out with the details.

I was SO bloated in the first tri as well and started wearing mat jeans at 8 weeks (and could have used them sooner). I actually needed them less at 12/13 weeks when I started to show than earlier on because the bloat finally went away somewhat. Looking forward to hearing about your scan tomorrow.

Sara - I don't blame you for being anxious to try the meds... but as you said, you know your body can get pregnant naturally now, and with your dh's schedule it's going to be six cycles anyway so that must be what is meant to be for you! I really hope this is your month! I remember being about ready to lose my mind at 4 cycles TTC so I could imagine 5 cycles would be really discouraging.

Linny - I hope you are able to take 8 months. 6 seems so short!

Yes, I tend to get really bad AF pains. The painfulness of my cycles lessened a lot after the mc, but in the early years of my AF, my cramps would be so painful that I'd have to miss school and all I could do is lie in bed writhing in pain with a hot pack and lots of pain meds. Closer to before the mc, they were still quite bad to the point where 600 mg Ibuprofen + 1000 mg acetaminophen would still leave me with pain that had me extremely uncomfortable and rather nauseous, but I was able to work through it. So, yes, I think that's probably why the mc pain didn't seem "as bad" to me. Weird! But you are definitely lucky you don't get bad AF pains normally!

As for the whooping cough vaccine, I can only share my own experience. I personally am sooo afraid of my baby dying of whooping cough that DH and I *both* went and got our vaccines over 6 months before we started TTC. There were zero negative effects, and I now feel so much safer knowing that my baby is protected. I have read so many horror stories of babies contracting pertussis in the early months and dying from it simply because their parents weren't vaccinated in time. I think it's well worth it to get the vaccine ASAP - whenever your midwife/dr recommends it, whether that be while you're pregnant or immediately after birth. I know in the one horror story I read, the woman had a cough already when she gave birth (but didn't know it was whooping cough) so unfortunately the vaccine after birth wasn't on time, but I have no idea what the safety of the vaccines during pregnancy is. I personally am making sure all my family members have the vaccine and for friends/family who don't, I am not letting them visit my baby if they have coughed even once in the last 2 weeks. I am extremely paranoid, though. I think you should listen to your dr/midwife and ignore any sort of silly anecdotal stories that might freak you out. Some people are very anti-vaccine and will pin anything that happens to them on vaccines.

Aleeah - How are you doing? We miss hearing from you more often.

Lindsay - Hope you and baby Rowan are doing awesome! You will be such an expert by the time the rest of us give birth.

Teacup/LJ/Kim/etc - How are you all?

AFM - I feel like my weight is spiraling out of control lately? I think it's still on track for normal range in total, but that's only because I didn't gain very much in the beginning. For some reason in the past month I gained 2 lbs one week, then 4 lbs the next, then 0.5 lbs the next, then 3 lbs last week! I don't even know how that happened as I haven't been eating any more than usual and have actually finally been going on some walks. I am just scared that my weight gain won't slow down and I'll gain a billion pounds by the end! Has anyone else had a month of major weight gain and had it settle down afterwards?

 

[slg76]

Thanks, Lit. I am losing my mind a bit! This is cycle number 5 since my mc but I'm actually coming up on 2 years of ttc this baby

I wouldn't worry to much about your weight unless it doesn't slow down for another month. Maybe your body is making up for the weight you didn't gain in the prior weeks. As long as you aren't eating a bunch of junk then I bet your body knows what it needs.

 

[Linnypops]

Lit - Thanks love - it's reassuring to know that others are going ahead with the vaccine. As far as I knew before this the only side effect was a sore arm...and to be honest from everything i've read which is official that's literally the end of it. There's anecdotal evidence that some ladies feel a bit rubbish (fluey) for a few days after too....but that's fine with me. What i'm not fine with is the scare stories about it and the claims that the vaccines are of no proven use anyway. I cannot find anything to back that up in the literature but it put some doubts into my mind....which I hate! Anyway, I will be getting it, i'll probably wait till nearer 32 weeks.

RE: Weight gain. Mine seems to follow a staggered pattern. I won't gain a thing for a few weeks, then i'll seem to gain several pounds within a few days. Then i'll stay there a few weeks. I have gained about 30lbs already! yikes! But actually it's been a while since that number has changed. I am going walking more often now and eating better since the craving for carbohydrates and fat has gone so am hopeful that it hangs around at that amount till the end. Don't forget the baby is growing massively atm, soon it starts to put on near enough 1lb a week, add that to the placenta and the volume of fluid and it'd easily account for a few lbs per week. x

 

[brighteyez73]

Good morning ladies,

How is everyone doing?

Alt - I am BDing and waiting for O. I have been doing the SMEP.

 

[teacup]

Hi Everyone! :wave: I hope you all had a great Easter weekend! I have had a snotty cold for the last week, I wake up full of snot every morning! I can't believe the amount I blow out my nose in the morning - yuck! I'm 12 weeks tomorrow! I was convinced that when I hit 12 weeks I would be relaxed and enjoy the pregnancy, but I'm still so paranoid! For example - when I blow my nose I try not to blow too hard in case it hurts the baby! I also have been trying to clear my throat instead of coughing. I wish I would just relax! I guess when you have had a loss it makes you ultra paranoid. I have another scan on 7th May (only 2 weeks away tomorrow!) so hopefully if everything is still okay I can chill out then.

Mini rant:
My oldest sister is really obsessed with researching things and when she had her two children she got really into these hypnobirthing classes and home births, she also is dead against hospital births and believes that the NHS midwives are all unproffesional! She paid for a private midwife for her last birth (who trained and worked with the NHS ironically!). She has started preaching to me about it all, and tells me not to watch 'One Born Every Minute' (a UK tv program which follows real births in hospital) because she thinks all the births shown on the program aren't good examples of proper relaxing births. I love watching OBEM, I think I have seen every episode! I wish my sister would just let people do there own research and make their own decisions! This is just the beginning and I forsee many arguments with her on the horizon! I personally would like a hospital birth because I think that it's the best place to be in case something were to go wrong. But that is just my view, and I wouldn't dream of pressuring someone to agree with me! Ugh - I hate unwanted advice.

Sorry - I had to have a vent about that one!

Bright - SMEP is def a good route to go down! I started falling pregnant when OH and I BD'd the day before O, we would hold off for a couple of days before so he had lots of strong swimmers ready! Good luck this cycle! xx

Linny - I hope you get some reassuring info from the doc about the vaccine. I need to get the flu one at some point, but I'm waiting for this rubbish cold to go first. xx

Sara - Sorry you're feeling down about ttc. It can't help that your OH keeps having to jet off either! I'm sure your BFP cycle is just around the corner. Do you use opks? xx

Lit - I'm sure your body needs all those reserves for baby! As Linny said, your body will probably go through phases of storing. You're such a skinny mini normally that I'm sure the extra pounds probably aren't noticable! I doubt you're growing any extra chins! I hope everything is going okay, have you started buying afew things for baby? xx

Emma - How's my bump buddy doing? Has your sickness gone now? My symptoms have eased a lot in the last week, in fact I feel suprisingly normal! I hope that isn't a bad sign. I did read somewhere that as you approach second tri you start to feel better. xx

Sabster - I opted out of the Downs Syndrome testing. My sister had the testing done with both her pregnancies, the first they gave a risk of 1 in 10,000 chance of having DS, and the second pregnancy they gave a risk of 1 in 300! It really worried her when she was pregnant with her second because the risk chance was so dramatically different from her first. Of course her second son turned out to be just fine. So I thought to save the worry I would opt out. It's free here on the NHS though. xx

Mrs W - Good luck this cycle! Sounds like you are going to catch that egg! I hope the 2WW goes quickly for you. xx

How is every one else? I hope you're all doing okay! xxx

 

[carlandjane]

Daft question perhaps but is it ok to start trying again before I get my period after mc?

 

[teacup]

Sorry to hear about your loss CarlandJane. It's such a heartbreaking thing to go through. xxx

Yes you can ttc straight away - that's what we did. Doctors usually only recommend waiting for dating purposes as your cycle might be a little whacky after a miscarriage so you may ovulate earlier or later than usual. xx

 

[slg76]

carlandjane: several of these ladies have gotten pregnant after a mc without having a cycle first. Good luck

Unwanted advise is so annoying. People need to realize that what is best for them isn't what is best for everybody. I would try saying something like, "I"m glad that worked out so well for you but it's just not for me".

Glad you pregnant ladies are doing so well. Sorry about the cold! It's hard when you can't take any medicine to help it. But, cough and blow away....that baby is stuck tight!

 

[crysshae]

Sara - Sorry AF got you. Will DH be back before O?

Linny - Sorry you've found some info that worries you about the vaccine. Hope your doctor can help you with your concerns.

Emma - How are you feeling? Do you have new results about your liver yet?

Lit - You are probably just making up for lost time as far as weight gain.

Bright - Good luck!

Aleeah - Hope you're doing well.

Tea - I hope that nasty cold goes away soon. Sorry your sister is bothering you. Hope you are able to let her know how you feel about your pregnancy and birth.

Carl - Lots of ladies try before AF. I did not, but I temped, and it showed I O'd a couple days later than usual.

Hope all of you other ladies are doing well.

 

[Literati_Love]

Sara - Thanks for the reassurance. I'm sorry you've been TTC this baby for so incredibly long. I'd imagine I'd be losing my mind as well. I do know it can be normal without any fertility problems to take 6-12 months to conceive, and at least you know you've ovulating, so I think your time is going to come soon! I am rooting for you every day!

Linny - Oh, I definitely think the vaccines are very effective and if you can't find any real medical literature supporting those ladies' claims, I would completely disregard them! Sounds like a good plan to get it around 32 weeks.

Good to know about your weight gain as well! I do think our bodies will just make us gain whatever we're supposed to and we don't have a ton of control over it as long as we're eating relatively healthy (obviously we're pregnant and going to have treats sometimes)! It does make sense that we'd gain a lot some weeks, but I suppose the fact that it's been persisting for a month was worrying me. The thing is, I really think I'm starting to retain a LOT of water, which I know is factored into pregnancy weight gain, but I think I'm starting to pile it on. I've started weighing myself daily to see exactly what is going on. I weighed the exact same for several days, and now suddenly overnight I put on 3 lbs again. I didn't eat any more than usual yesterday (in fact, I probably ate less), but I did have a saltier supper as we had a BBQ with friends...so I'm SURE it's all water retention. It'd be impossible to gain 3 lbs of fat overnight without extreme gluttony! Also, confirming my suspicions, I normally pee every 20-30 minutes, and I didn't pee for the ENTIRE morning today. My body is just hanging on to fluids! The annoying thing is, though, I'm never 'losing' this retention...it is just adding up and up! So hopefully I lose a ton of it the moment I push that baby out. I've been noticing my feet/ankles have been slightly puffy lately, and I just feel puffy and large all over (but don't worry, my BP is totally normal). So...yep.

Bright - Doing well. Great job on the SMEP! It's sure to work soon.

Teacup - Your sister sounds annoyingly pushy. I think she should just leave you alone to make your own decisions! Don't be afraid to tell her that. It's really none of her business.

Thanks for the reassurance as well. We bought a few cute things like sheets and a diaper stacker on our little baby-shopping road trip the other weekend, and we got help from my parents buying a stroller and car seat, so we're getting there! I've also been picking up cute baby girl clothes on clearance at the grocery store whenever I see a good deal! When do you think you will start buying things?

Carlandjane- Opinions are mixed on that but there are definitely lots of success stories on TTC before your first AF. Lots of drs recommend waiting until after your first AF, but as someone said it's mostly for dating purposes (plus emotional reasons). Lots of people get preg right away and do great...there just might have to be an early u/s to confirm dates (which you can't really complain about)! I personally followed my dr's advice to wait, and I felt good about it.

Crys - Thanks. How is your cycle going?

AFM - Like teacup, I also acquired a gross snotty cold over the weekend (AGAIN). My sister and her dh came to visit for Easter and within 2 days she had infected my entire family with her cold (minus my dh, thankfully, because he was just getting over the stomach flu). So I'm sure I'll be sick for the next 2-3 weeks as per my usual pattern.

Dr's appointment today, and I will be asking to see the full report on my ultrasound.

 

[shiris]

I'm so sorry for your loss
My doctor told me that after two weeks, it was fine to start trying again, even before AF comes.
Good luck

 

[carlandjane]

Thankyou all for your help, its so nice to be able to ask your advice and opinions without feeling awkward or like a numpty!! Im still considering things as i dont feel ready for sex again yet much to my husbands dismay as he would like to start trying again right away. Emotionally I feel ok about what happened but equally i feel like i shouldnt rush into trying to get pregnant asap for some reason. Darned brain.

 

[Sabster]

Linnypops and Literati_Love: Ihad a huge argument with my sister in law about whooping cough and vaccines. Theres a case in toronto about a young girl of 5 weeks that contracted it because so many people are unvaccinated now... anyways, i posted the article on FB and there was a blowup. She doesnt know im pregnant now and her kids are not vaccinated... needless to say we do not see eye to eye on the subject. I hate to say it but i don`t find that anti-vaccine proponents have strong arguments and I don`t find that the risk outweights the benefit. I would be more worried about environmental pollution and food quality, then the fact that vaccines have aluminium.. you know what else has alumimium? baking soda and deodorants. In any case, I find that talking to anti-vacciners always ends up in confrontations and gets really personal, so I have opted to put them in the creationist/holocaust deniers type of people. there`s no discussion to be had because their beliefs are based on speudo-science and false ideologies.

I will look into the whooping cough vaccine... I know I must have gotten it when I was a kiddo, but i will ask if i have to take it again seein that there`s more of it going around now.

I had my appointment yesterday!!! and it went really well!!!!! theres no ''hematoma'' behind the placenta anymore, so that's good and the baby measured 7 week 3days . I am 7w 5day, I also saw the heartbeat!! OMG it was awesome. it was just flickering away super fast...its goten so big in just two week. My baby shark is going well!! ( shark, because they have cartilage at this point.. LOL)
The doc told me to take it easy, but she says that the baby is well and alive and that its a good sign. I was referred to the obstetrics department so I will be waitingfor a phonecall... although I might end up going to another hospital.

I hope things work out this time!! I cant wait for 12 weeks... OMG

 

[crysshae]

Wonderful scan, Sab. Congratulations!

Carl - It's completely understandable you're not ready for sex yet. It's only been a week. It took me 2 or 3 weeks after my 1st miscarriage to feel comfortable enough to try, and then I cried all the way through it. It was a good thing though. It helped me release a lot of emotions I had held back.

 

[bluestars]

Carl- I totally get the not ready for sex. I was terrified to have sex after my boys. I bled for 3 weeks then only stopped for a couple of days before another period and it wasnt until after that. It wasnt a great experience for either of us. It was a bit sore for me too. But the first time was over and after that it got better and better. Wait till your ready xxx