Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[BABTTC123]

Hello!
Well I just experienced my first miscarriage... It was also my first pregnancy :/
I wasn't very far along, only 5 weeks, but it still makes me feel like crap.
I am right at the end of the bleeding which only seems to have lasted 5 days. My doctors office told me to wait to try again until after my next spontaneous period. I have pcos so that wasn't very helpful to hear.
Can anyone give me an idea of what I can expect? My doctor and the office weren't of really any help at all. They just wanted to sweep me out the door so the next patient and be seen. I am waiting on my quads. Should get them back tomorrow.
I just don't know how long it should take to get my period again and what would happen if I chose to bd before that? If I were lucky enough to conceive soon after this would I be at a high risk for another miscarriage or does it matter?
I really don't want to dwell on this loss for too long. I want to distract myself by trying again but not if it isn't safe to.
Also, how do you ladies cope with this? I am finding it hard to be motivated to do anything right now. I have to work and that only adds to my lack of motivation.

 

[brighteyez73]

Hello Ladies,

Crys - cute bump, so excited for you.

AFM - I know I have been MIA, just needed to get myself together after the failed IVF. But I am back and ready to get started again. We will be starting a new cycle this month. My stimming will begin on the 27th of this month.

 

[Linnypops]

Cryss - Great bump! Can't believe time has swung round so quickly!

Whisper - Sorry to hear about the negative but thank goodness no D&C - I hear they're not pleasant at all. How are you doing now xmas is over and things are clearing a bit?

Lit - Yep - illness is horrible, especially when we've all got it. Usually DF will do a lot of the chores but he's just as bad this time. Things seem to be improving a bit now but Elka still has a horrible cough. DF taking her to docs tomorrow. Sorry to hear Nevada's sleep not as good at the mo. Is it early seperation anxiety do you think (the clinginess)? Obvs it will improve but I know it's hard to get perspective right in the middle of it. I guess the best thing you can do really is go with it and do things which help for the sleep deprivation in yourself. Yoga and meditation are both supposed to be good for that.

Good to hear Nevada's in the high chair at the table! It's so much fun isn't it? Elka loves sitting in there.

Lindsay - You'd be surprised re:sleeping for other people. It took Elk 2 days to go from sleeping in a dark room at home with white noise playing to sleeping in a bright loud nursery environment. They had to feed her to sleep on day 1 but the afternoon of day 2 she went in the crib with a bit of rocking no problem. I was quite surprised and assumed it'd take them weeks to get her down easily. I agree - time to yourselves is essential.

Bright - Glad to hear you're doing well and back into it now!

Blue - Update us!!

 

[crysshae]

All my babies came at different times. Doc is planning on induction by 39 weeks this time.

Bab - I'm sorry for your loss. I believe some of the ladies on this thread conceived before having a period after their MC. Mourn your loss however you need to. The hormones do not help with motivation either. It's just a pick yourself up and dust yourself off when you're ready kinda thing.

Bright - good luck!

 

[Literati_Love]

Lindsay - that is great your parents are willing to watch Rowan. You should definitely take them up on that. I agree with Linny that you may be surprised with how well he adjusts to going to sleep when it is someone other than you doing it! Also, never underestimate the power of grandma! My mom is one of only 3 people in the world haha so far who can get Nevada to sleep. So I would try not to stress about it and see how it goes! Even if a nap gets messed up, Rowan will survive and you will at least have had a little time together with your DH. I agree it is so important! I have finally been getting to leave the house for short periods of time to meet friends or run errands by myself (which is surprisingly refreshing) while DH watches Nevada. My parents are also very willing to babysit and we try to get out on a date at least 1-2 times per month. The thing is we have only ever left for a couple hours but I would love to one of these days go out for dinner and a movie. The only hard part is knowing whether Nevada will take a bottle or not, since sometimes she will and sometimes she refuses. One thing I did learn is that it isn't the bottle that bothers her at all! On two occasions she has refused the bottle for either my mom or MIL, so I decided to give it to her myself and she took it no problem! In fact, Nevada seemed to LOVE it and was so excited to hold the bottle by herself and guzzle up. It's all about being in her mom's arms, apparently.

That is great you've had a bit more relaxation time with your DH off so early in the day! That would be wonderful!

Linny - Thanks. Yes, you may well be right that it is separation anxiety affecting Nevada at night now. It is tough but of course she will grow out of it eventually. I am definitely finding ways to cope with the sleep deprivation. I am actually feeling more "zen" about things this week again! Hehe. I really hope you all start feeling better soon. I always feel very out of sorts when nothing gets done around the house but no one is able to do anything about it. but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that you all get the rest you need!

Crys - cool! Nice you won't have to go beyond 39ish weeks this time.

Bright - I hope this next time is the charm! Good luck! Not too far now.

BAB - I don't think there's any evidence that conceiving before the first proper AF adds to the riskiness of the next pregnancy. I think doctors mostly recommend it so your next pregnancy is easier to date properly and also for your own mental health! For me it came down to - if you got pregnant right away and had another loss, would you blame getting pregnant before your first AF? I chose to wait for my first AF just in case it was safer even though I found it very difficult to wait that long and was eager to "move on." As for coping, it is very difficult and only time will heal your wounds. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to grieve and be an unmotivated blob if you need to be. So sorry for your loss.

 

[bjl1981]

Hi everyone. I'm here because I had my first miscarriage this monday. After many hours in A&E, then a scan the following day, and finally 2 sets of bloods, the nurses confirmed a MC. I was only 6 weeks. I really want to just try again as soon as possible, but also worried that trying too soon might mean another MC Think I will probably wait for AF.

 

[bluestars]

Hey ladies.

To the ladies that have joined us recently im sorry for your loss. Their is hope so keep it strong!!! The ladies here are a great support.

I havent had a chance to read and catch up yet ! Lost as to where i left off. Life in the last weeks have gone so quickly and full full full!!!!

Asiah ended up having an over night stay in hospital which then took me away from home for 2 weeks !!! So my girl now thinks Grannys is her actual life since thats where shes spend most of her life!!! So trying to settle home. Getting her christened next week also so not only trying to unpack and settle back but getting the house organised for visitors this week!!!

Asiah herself is a wee cracker. Got her first proper big giggle from her last night !! Melted my heart completely!!! She is so eager to sit up all the time and is a chatterbox!! Still feeding her myself. And sleeps from 11 till 4-5am then back down until 9.30 10... this varied though!! 2 nights ago after baby massage she gave us a full night sleep 11pm untill 11am !! One off though haha!


So i shall read updates bbt in the mean time how about you all post update photos of our beautiful rainbows to show these new ladies that it will happen for them!!!

Much love!

 

[Literati_Love]

Blue - yay! Thanks for the update! May I ask why Asiah was in the hospital? I'm glad you're back home now and I hope she is totally okay now! Sounds like life has been hectic for sure.

That is wonderful about Asiah giggling! I felt like it took ages to get a proper belly giggle from Nevada. She giggled at probably around the same time as Asiah but it was VERY rare for weeks afterward and even now I don't hear her giggle every day. My mom said I was extremely giggly and giggled all the time so in a way I do wish Nevada giggled more because it is probably my favourite sound in the whole wide world!

I have to say I am quite jealous of Asiah's sleep. I hope she keeps sleeping better and better for you, though. You deserve it!

BJL - sorry for your loss. I waited for first AF as well.

Lindsay - PS totally agreed on your comment about not talking about sleep with anyone in real life anymore. It's way too depressing.

 

[Literati_Love]

Linny - just curious, but does Elka have any teeth yet? Nevada doesn't but I'm wondering when one will appear!

 

[Linnypops]

Blue - great to hear from you!! Glad to hear you're both ok... Hospital though?? I hope nothing serious? It's so nice when they start giggling. Actually elka only really does it consistently for her brother. :/

Lit - nope no signs yet - I think she has started teething though because some days shell just seem out of sorts/gnawing on things/ easily upset and then next day - fine. Hv said it was a sure sign. No actual peggies though.

Things good here, elka much better now in fact we all are. Really hope no more bugs for a bit now. Elka is constantly boUncing these days too! The jumperoo has a lot to answer for. BoUnces in your arms, in the high chair, the pram etc. it's a bit crazy tbh.

 

[Literati_Love]

Linny - yes, it sounds like she'll get one soon! I think Nevada is teething too. She always loves things in her mouth but the last couple days she has been clamping down furiously on things and frequently doing this high-pitched whine which sounds like she is in pain/ uncomfortable. I am really guessing it must be teething but no actual teeth yet.

Nevada is the EXACT same way with the bouncing all the time. If you hold her standing on your lap or on any surface she just wants to bounce and bounce! She loves both her jolly jumper and Her jumperoo (the jumperoo we just bought this weekend) so she is able to bounce to her heart's content most days.

I'm glad to hear Elka is feeling better and I sure hope she won't catch anything else any time soon! How are you enjoying being back to work?

 

[Lindsay109]

Welcome to the new ladies, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses

Bab, I was told (by a doctor) that the only reason they tell you to wait for your first AF is for dating purposes for subsequent pregnancies. If you got pregnant before your first AF they would probably date the pregnancy using an early ultrasound rather than LMP. Hang in there

Bright, good luck!

Linny, that's great news that you are all feeling better now! Rowan went through a bouncing everywhere phase too, lol, it was quite funny. I'm also glad to hear that Elka adjusted so quickly to sleeping at daycare. I'm feeling quite stressed about returning to work - I know we will all adjust, it just breaks my heart thinking of leaving him. I think I'll probably have a harder time with it than he does.

Crys, we're going to be on baby watch soon!! How come they're planning to induce you?

LL, aww, it sounds like Nevada just likes getting milk from mom, even if it is in bottle form I bet she is teething - Rowan clamped down a lot (and screamed) before the first 2 teeth came in. We've only been out for 2 - 3 hours at a time as well. This weekend we're going to see a movie and will probably be gone for 3 - 4 hours and my parents will put Rowan down for his afternoon nap. We're working up to dinner and a movie, but I'm not even sure how we'd work bedtime with someone else watching him as he always nurses before bed and won't take a bottle.

Blue, great to hear from you! Sorry to hear Aisiah was in the hospital, I hope it was nothing serious and she's feeling better now. I too, am jealous of her sleep!

AFM, Rowan is sleeping better again - usually just up once a night so I'm catching up on a bit of sleep which is really nice. He also seems to be going through a screaming phase - he doesn't seem to be upset when he does it, I suspect it's when he's bored or wants something because it usually happens when he's sitting somewhere strapped in (i.e. stroller, car seat, high chair). Yesterday we were at the mall and he realized that when he screamed, there was an echo, so he continued screaming over and over again until we went outside. DH thought it was quite funny when I was telling him about it, but it wasn't too funny to me when it was happening, lol. Hopefully it's a short phase!

 

[bluestars]

Lit- its not all the time either was the day i posted that message and again tonight. Had to tickle her again haha! Poor girl will hate me annoying her all the time. She had Bronchiolitis and a virus that just was a bit to hard on her chest. If im honest i think shes going to have asthma and thats why she took it so bad. Was horrible seeing her like that though and was horrible being in hospital with her. The baby across from her had the same thing and stoppes breathing twice and ended up in icu!!! Couldnt put her down i was so scared. She is over it now though... although i think another little cold is coming...

I get what you mean about wanting to know how other peoples babies are sleeping lol. Girl next doors baby sleeps all night... and is a fatty we bubs and Asiahs dropped a percentile since being unwell... but shes picking back up again.

Not looking forward to the teething stage either. Asiahs already chomping at her hands furiously and has a very very strange habit of licking everything!!! Haha. I got her the amber bead neckless for when she starts.

Linds - he sounds fly haha im glad your getting a bit better sleep! Hope it lasts for you!

We are getting madam Christened on sunday so yet again its a hecktic time. Sorry for short replies. Will try keep up. Xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Lindsay - I hope you enjoy your movie this weekend and that all goes well! We will have to work our way up to dinner and a movie as well...ALTHOUGH...we recently got a VIP theatre in town which means we can actually order supper and eat it during our movie so I think we could probably manage that as we'd only be gone about 3 hours then (which is still a bit long but I think Nevada could manage it). Have you thought about maybe doing movie and dinner instead of dinner and a movie? As in, go to a matinee on the weekend and then supper right after and head back to Rowan in time to put him to bed? The only reason we can still go out in the evening is I have Nevada on a later schedule. She sleeps in that way as well which is nice because I'm not a morning person.

Nevada sometimes does the screaming for attention thing as well. She loves seeing how high pitched she can possibly get. Thankfully I don't think she's ever done it in the middle of a mall hehe. Hopefully Rowan gets over that soon! I am dreading putting Nevada in daycare as well. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.
Is Rowan able to drink from a cup yet? I wonder if he'll soon be able to take milk that way since he refuses a bottle?

Blue - oh dear...the poor girl! I'm glad she's better but that would be rough if she did develop asthma as you suspect. Are you and/or your oh asthmatic as well?

Nevada loves licking everything as well. She especially adores licking the outside of my coffee mugs so once I am done my coffee in the morning I let her lick the cup (near the bottom where I haven't touched and doesn't have any traces of coffee on it, hehe). she's a goof. Good plan on the Amber teething necklace so you're prepared. We actually don't have one for Nevada but we have some teething toys.

That is scary about Asiah dropping a percentile since being sick but hopefully she'll gain it back soon or maybe just keep on that percentile steadily since maybe that's just her body type!

I hope the christening goes well! Do you have a pretty dress for her to wear for it?

 

[Lindsay109]

Blue, poor Asiah! (and poor you too, that sounds like an awful experience!) Glad to hear she's feeling better and I hope she stays that way. Yep, Rowan is a little firecracker and certainly keep us busy (and amused, lol).

LL, the VIP theatre sounds great! I just looked it up as I'd never heard of it before. Unfortunately there's not one close to where we live. Yeah, we probably will do movie and dinner vs. dinner and a movie. We're going to a matinee this weekend so we will home for Rowan's bed time... if all goes well we may try to add dinner on our next date So you've got a screamer too eh? haha Rowan is doing it much more often now than he used to so I hope it's a short phase... but wow, does it hurt the ears! We are working hard on the baby sign again now because I think he screams when he wants something so I'd very much like him to request things in a different way, lol.

He will drink from a cup - we've had the most success with a straw cup. I give him water in the cup with his meals, and I've tried giving him EBM a few times and he will drink a few sips here and there, but not really much volume. Hopefully he'll take more milk when I'm not around... either that or he'll be eating more solid food so he doesn't need as much milk. That's one of the things I'm most worried about re. going back to work... I'm sure it will be fine, but I worry none the less.

 

[alternatedi]

Hi ladies! Checking in to say hello! Blue, I'm so sorry to hear your little girl has been under the weather! I hope she keeps feeling better and better.

It sounds like all of our other babies are doing well - that's wonderful!!

I am still pregnant, thank God! We're 17 weeks along now - oh I had the worst sickness until I hit week 17. I'm hoping its gone but we shall see. Our little one, G2, is growing well and did great on the NT Scan. We'll go in for our anatomy scan in three weeks, where I'm hoping to confirm that this little one is a boy. As long as they're healthy, I'll be so happy!!

 

[Linnypops]

Hey ladies

Lit - jumPeroos are great! It's probably the only expensive bells and whistles thing she's got that she actually likes! How's Nevadas sleep going? We are having a crap time. elk brought home a severe vomiting bug - oh the joys! So last night I spent 2 hours with her crying and vomiting. Wanting milk, throwing it up, unable to settle. Eventually I lay next to the crib and held her hand and she fell asleep. I was about to bring her in with us. Sigh

Lindsay - oh yeah it's hard leaving them. I think if they're under 1 they generally have no problem with it. Or less than older babies. Tbh though I was really ready to go to work and I knew shed love it so actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. When are you going back to work?

Blue- aw! I'm glad to hear she's doing better again. That must have been tough! How are you doing these days?

Di- time is flying! Glad you checked in and all is going well!

Afm- as I said to lit the bugs just keep on coming. This one was especially vicious. I was violently vomiting last night as was elka. We both got v patchy sleep. I seem to be ok today but elka still has v&d. Seems ok mostly but every 10 mins suddenly starts crying out of nowhere. Then it stops again. Poor thing. So we're all just muddling through atm. I can't wait for summer

 

[brighteyez73]

Hello ladies,

Is everyone doing ok?

I have a revised protocol schedule. I start bcps again on Wednesay, stims on 2/26/15, retrieval will be on 3/11/15 and transfer on 3/16/15. Seems so far away but we are excited and patiently waiting....not!

 

[Literati_Love]

Linny - oh dear! That is so sad and I feel so bad for you all that Your family is being plagued with so many bad bugs! That is just a heartbreakingly sweet picture I can imagine of Elka falling asleep holding your hand. I truly hope you get some reprieve from all these illnesses soon.

Nevada's sleep has not improved. Also, I think she really is shifting toward cutting her third nap now. Twice this week she has refused the third nap but the rest of the days she really needed it (although it resulted in a later bedtime again because she can stay awake for longer). Also, this month has been rough for Nevada. She is definitely going through a "wonder week" (aka month) and has been extra fussy and clingy all month. Not only that, but she isn't her usual interactive self. We've had much fewer smiles and giggles from her lately and she looks glazed eyes a lot of the time which is NOT like her at all. I definitely see her working hard on some developmental things lately so I am hoping she will conquer them all soon and get back to her normal self. Maybe sleep will improve then too? For now I am coping by wearing her in my wrap again! She didn't even like it as a newborn but now that is the only way she won't fuss. I am also dreading starting her on solids in less than a week. How is Elka enjoying solids, if she has started them?

Lindsay - how did your movie date go this weekend? I really
Hope you had fun and that Rowan handled the separation well. Hopefully you can do it again soon! My mom wanted to watch Nevada this weekend before she and my dad left on a trip so I let her watch her while I went to a girls' night. She took the bottle fine but then was still hungry at the end and I had to come home early. Oh well! It was nice to visit with some adults for a little while!

I was just curious about the whole milk in the cup thing. I can see how he might not take a large volume of it in a cup since he prefers nursing! Didn't mean to stress you out with that question. I was curious about using a cup and we finally allowed Nevada to take a small sip of water from a cup this weekend since she is so fascinated by cups! She absolutely loved it and did so well. I am curious if she would take milk that way but I don't want to waste time pumping just to have her take a couple sips and be done! I know you must be stressed about how Rowan will manage to take in enough milk while you're at work. I worry as well although I push it out of my mind mostly since it is a little while off yet. I really think things will probably work out and Rowan will adjust to his new routine and be willing to take milk. It may be a rocky few days at first but I bet you he will surprise you with how well he adapts!

Alt - Yay! So glad the pregnancy is going well!! Sorry to hear about the nasty nausea! That is no fun at all. But I am just thrilled for you that everything is going smoothly otherwise! Are you feeling kicks yet? I can't wait to hear the gender!

Bright - sorry you have to wait a little longer but I hope all goes well with the next IVF!!!

 

[alternatedi]

Thanks for the kind words, Linny and Lit! Lit, still not feeling movement but hopeful that I will soon!

Bright, good to hear from you too! I hope this cycle is the lucky one for you!