Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[Literati_Love]

Nina - That's interesting that you only recently got addicted to POASing after your m/c. Who knows...I might be joining you with that addiction. Maybe the reason you have procrastinated buying preseed is because you subconsciously know you won't be needing it this month? I sure hope that's the case! Personally, I am worried that it is a deterrent to getting pregnant somehow, since this last cycle was my first time using it and I didn't get pregnant. Well, even if we ovulate a couple days apart, we should still be getting our (hopefully good!) news around the same time. I can't wait! For now I have to get through stupid evil AF though. It's very heavy this time, and I am SOOO bloated that I look 5 months pregnant. Awful.

It sounds like that lady at your office is very perceptive and I'm glad she was nice to you. Don't worry about being a teary, hormonal mess. I am the same way when AF is here, and when you combine the stress of TTC and the grief of losing your babies, it is really no wonder you're a mess.

Blue - Thanks! I sure hope so too. I hope you ovulate already! I can't believe how many positives you've had?

Crys - That is so cute that you're not able to hide your pregnancy at all and that your sis and daughter were able to guess. All those hormonal symptoms sound like a great sign. You're well on your way to your beautiful rainbow baby! Sometimes I think people have a sixth sense about pregnancies too. The MOMENT I got pregnant, everyone we knew started asking straight-out if I was pregnant. They were people we were not close to at all, so we just lied...but I was very confused why no one ever asked before and then suddenly the moment I got my BFP everyone was asking. So weird.

Lindsay - Thanks. Today did turn out a lot better. I was up at 2 am replaying everything in my head and feeling very anxious and upset about everything. But today was just a normal day at work which sort of helped get my mind off things. I know it didn't get rid of the problem, but at least no one made me cry today.

I think that's a great idea to take a night-time dose to help you for the next morning. And good luck with staying awake Friday night! You really are going to bed very early these days! Your body is obviously very hard at work taking care of that baby!

Aleeah - So nice to hear from you! We all miss you around here but that's very understandable if you don't want to spend too much time on here while you're not really trying. I know it was difficult to be on here while I was still WTT. It made using protection a lot harder.

Sounds good that your hCG levels are going down at a good pace. Hopefully you are right and you only have another 10 days or so. You might even have less, as when my hCG levels went down they definitely more than halved every couple days. They probably...quartered?

I haven't booked that massage yet...but I do think it's a good idea. I know what you mean, though. Whenever I have a massage I realize how amazing it is and I want to have one constantly as well! I carry a LOT of tension, so usually by the time I've driven myself home from the massage I've already given myself a few more knots. It's a vicious cycle.

I can't wait to hear what your doctors have to say at your appointment in October. What day in October is it? Hopefully we'll hear from you soon. Until then, enjoy your little "break!"

AFM...not much is new. AF is very heavy and gross. My cramps aren't too severe (I've found they've been more mild since the m/c), but sometimes I've had moments (I think when passing a few clots) where I feel downright nauseous from the pain. It goes away right away, but it's definitely unpleasant. I feel tired and weak, bloated and gross...and just can't wait to be my normal self again. And then hopefully my pregnant self! My wine and chocolate night really helped me last night. I might have another glass tonight.

 

[Nina83]

Aleeah- You are more than welcome to come!
The younger people here think that the Dead Sea is for old people, but I think we're lucky to have such a resort so close to home, only about an hour and a half from home.
It's so therapeutic- I definitely recommend it.

I understand you about staying away while not trying. You are so positive though- it's amazing. Your HCG is really coming down- I think you'll be at 0 in no time.

Crysshae- I love your husbands reaction! LOL!
I can't wait to name our bubba, we've got the names we love picked out, I just need a squishy face to give them to!

LL, sorry AF got you so hard this time. It's bad enough we MC, but then our bodies have to go and screw around with us even more. I think only now I'm starting to realize what my body has actually gone through. What a trauma
I just "love" the stories "I used preseed and got pregnant that month!" it's not magical. It just gives the sperm a better environment and a good head start. Just like when people "swear that when I used CB digital I got pregnant". It just helps. Sorry if I sound like a jerk, or bitter, but I don't like it when people put all the blame on something else, and or don't take credit for something they did. Obviously, if you only use preseed and don't have sex at the right time you won't get pregnant, so, yeah...

I used to be so sure that the hips elevated and morning sex was the "trick". LOL. It was just luck twice in a row. I think we try to hang on to our "tricks" and maybe's, and what did we do last time that "worked". It's easier than to just believe someone up there is doing it all, and we really, in the end, have no control over any of it.

I had yet another mini meltdown yesterday (what else is new?)
I don't know why, but I just felt like a failure of a woman.
Like I'm bad at being a woman. less of a woman. I can't do a simple thing like get pregnant and keep it. If I was in the animal kingdom I'd be roaming the Savannah alone, or eaten by a lion already, because I was deserted by my pack
Or all the other Baboons would be throwing stuff at me At least I can still joke about it though. DH would KILL me if he know I was saying I feel like a laughed at monkey

Just sharing this inspirational quote. I already said I'm an emotional mess, sorry if I'm bringing anyone down with me

 

[bluestars]

Nina you are right they aren't miracles at all. We do forget the effort put in with using them... Haha I'm hoping it is a miracle if that's stupid because I want a bfp this month. But you are 100% right!

Aleeah always love your posts ! And it's very understandable taking tome away from here!

Think I o'd yesterday if its going with my chart. Will find out next week via bloods if I actually released an egg.

I got loads of positives this month and lots last month as well. It's probably not a good thing but hey ho.

Not in a good place today at all!

 

[Nina83]

Blue,
I don't think multiple + is a bad thing. If you got them scattered around throughout the month, maybe, but you've got a rise which is good. Maybe it's just taking your body a bit more time to ovulate.
Your charts are nice and clear, I wouldn't worry

 

[bluestars]

Thanks nina. Xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Nina - I totally agree that none of those tricks are "miracles" and that's just silly to think it. They are definitely just aids and really we just have to do our job and get our timing right, and the rest is out of our control. I really have a hard time with that sometimes...but I know in the end it is for the best.

I use the "hips propped up on a pillow" trick as well. I am sure I could get pregnant without it, and it definitely doesn't work always, but I still do it anyway because if there's ANYTHING that can help I want to be doing it. I am so anxious for my BFP already.

I totally know how you mean with feeling like less of a woman and like you can't do what nature intended to do. Everyone makes it seem SO easy to have babies. So many people I know get pregnant on their first try and never suffer a loss of any sort, and then they assume everyone will be the same way. I don't understand why some people have it so easy and the rest of us have to suffer so much. I want a baby SO bad and am SO maternal and care so much about doing the right things for my baby to be safe. Other people don't intend to get pregnant, drink and/or do drugs before they know they're pregnant, and then disregard all the pregnancy rules during their pregnancy and their babies still turn out okay. What is wrong with our eggs that they can't form healthy babies? It is SO upsetting and it is no wonder you're feeling down from it. I also agree with your inspirational quote. Sorry you're having such a down day again. I hope things start looking up for you very soon.


Blue - Your chart looks great. Looks like you ovulated on the 10th? That's exciting. Just one more day to confirm! I wouldn't worry about the multiple positives either. And at least this time you'll know for sure from your bloodwork if you ovulated. Sorry you are not having a good day either. This week seems to be a rough one for everyone.

 

[bluestars]

Thanks lit. I use the hips on a pillow method too haha! Yet... Tww!!! Haha not xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Wowee, it's quiet on here. Did everyone decide to take a break? Unfortunately, I'm on the very boring part on my cycle so there's nothing really to report. I had to start work early today so I got to leave at 4 instead of 5. I am quite enjoying being in bed with my laptop at 4:25 pm!

Anyway...hope you all had a good day!

 

[Lindsay109]

Yes, it is quiet in here today! Sorry to hear so many are having a bad day... big hugs all around!

Nina, you are most definitely not a "failure"! You didn't cause the miscarriages, it's natures way of making sure that you get your happy, healthy baby

I agree, there are no miracles to help with ttc. OPK's, preseed, certain positions, etc are all just aids along the way... and even then it's hard to know if they helped or not because maybe that person would have gotten pregnant that month anyway. Certainly makes you feel better to think you're doing something though.

Blue, your chart is looking good! Hopefully your temp tomorrow will confirm ovulation. I agree with Nina, your chart is nice and clear and it really does look like your ovulating Hopefully mid-sept, and early october will bring lots of bfp's to this thread!!

LL, sounds like you're having a nice relaxing evening, you totally deserve it! I know what you mean, it can be hard to watch people who are making poor choices (e.g. drugs and alcohol) having babies. I have a client in foster care because his mother is addicted to drugs, and was when she was pregnant with him.... and she just had another baby who is now also in foster care. I don't want to judge other people, but sometimes I find it very upsetting.

Crys, Aleeah, how are you ladies doing today?

As for me, I had a wonderful appointment with the OB. Little did I know, she has a portable ultrasound machine in her office and we got to see baby again (no picture though)!! It no longer looks like a blob and had identifiable head, arms and legs and was jumping all around. Heartrate was good, and she was totally unconcerned about the bleeding or the spotting. Her practice also has an on call number (24 hours) so if I have any more scares, I can call and be advised what to do which is nice. She said the risk of miscarriage now is only about 1% so I'm going to try and relax a little bit. My next ultrasound will be at about 20 weeks (unless she does any more in the office before then), and then they will scan me monthly-ish after that to monitor growth (due to my medical history, not normal procedure).

Hope everyone has a good evening

 

[MissyMoo88]

Hi ladies, I hope you're all well.

Today I got my BFP pretty surprised ! So I've been stressing about not having AF in 7 weeks for nothing.
I had cramps on Monday thinking it was Ov or AF but it must have been implantation as I had implantation bleeding too.

Sending you all heaps of baby dust for this month

 

[Literati_Love]

Linds- that sounds like an amazing appt! I am SO glad you got to see your baby again and that you only have a 1% chance of miscarrying now! What amazing news. You must be thrilled.

Congrats, Missymoo.

 

[crysshae]

Lindsay - That's so wonderful! My tummy felt like it jumped into my chest as I read your post. Just awesome!!

Congratulations, Missy!!

 

[bluestars]

Congratulations Missy thats amazing. Was kind of thinking that when AF never showed up!! brilliant news!!

Sorry for not posting much, My temps dipped again this morning. So don't really know whats happening. Really dont want to put it into FF for them to tell me that i have now just ovulated and i dont have a long enough LP. :'(

Other than that im still in a rubbish mood so trying to avoid posting so not to come across as a moaning murtle and take all you lovely ladies with me haha!!

I have broken my phone still so i haven't heard from Nat in a long while. I wonder if she has her yet!

How is everyone today!?

 

[Nina83]

Congratulations Missy thats amazing. Was kind of thinking that when AF never showed up!! brilliant news!!

Sorry for not posting much, My temps dipped again this morning. So don't really know whats happening. Really dont want to put it into FF for them to tell me that i have now just ovulated and i dont have a long enough LP. :'(

Other than that im still in a rubbish mood so trying to avoid posting so not to come across as a moaning murtle and take all you lovely ladies with me haha!!

I have broken my phone still so i haven't heard from Nat in a long while. I wonder if she has her yet!

How is everyone today!?

I was thinking about Nat this morning, hope she's doing well!

 

[crysshae]

Blue - I hope you get to feeling better all around.

Your temp dipped last month after O too, and usually when our follicular phase is longer or shorter, our LP stays pretty stable. So your cycle is longer if you ovulate later or shorter if you ovulate earlier.

 

[Lindsay109]

Thanks LL and Crys, yes we are thrilled I was so scared we were going to get bad news... there were many happy tears yesterday.

Congrats Missy!!!

Blue, Crys is right, luteal phase doesn't usually change so you should be fine. Maybe being sick just delayed your ovulation a couple days? Hope you're feeling better soon.

 

[crysshae]

Do ICs never get darker?!!!!? I know! I know! I'm not supposed to use them to detect levels of hCG...just that I am pregnant. It's just so hard not to worry and to stop testing. I used my last FRER yesterday and used afternoon urine, so it was light, although they seem to not get truly darker for me. I'm 16 dpo today. Shouldn't something be dark?!?!

I'm sorry for the rant. I just can't stop worrying. I so want to enjoy this, and the last two days I've found myself just full of worry and feeling stressed all day.

 

[Lindsay109]

Crys, I think they take a long time to get darker, try not to worry too much about that (easier said than done though, I know!). And, as you mentioned the other day, they do seem to have different amounts of dye in them. With my first bfp I had a bunch of IC's (the 10 miu ones) and pretty much used them all, the last one at 24 dpo and at that point (and maybe a few days before that) the test line was finally darker than the control line. I would suggest you stop testing, but I know that's easier said than done too, lol. So, I will suggest waiting a few days before you test again

Sorry you're feeling so worried and stressed those early days are so stressful after a loss. Hang in there!

 

[crysshae]

Thank you, Lindsay. My logical side keeps telling me everything you said. But the side of me that wants that test darker is definitely winning!

 

[bluestars]

Linds i just seen your message about your appt!! Thats fantastic!!! wooohooo

Crys- Try another type of test and use first morning urine. Remember your are still super early! i agree that tests are probably just running out of ink!!

Days not been too bad! still haven't put my info into ff!! Suppose i better.

xxx