Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[Lindsay109]

How is everyone's weekend going? Any exciting plans?

Blue, hopefully you ovulate a little earlier this cycle I always get ovary pain leading up to O, it usually starts 2 or 3 days prior.

Nina, that's too bad the pain has returned, but hopefully it's a good sign! Perhaps a hot shower instead of a bath? Have you tested again or are you waiting a little longer?

LL, sorry to hear about your BFN I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that it's still too early!

Linny, glad to hear you had a good night out

I hope everyone else is doing well too!

Not much going on here. Having a birthday dinner with some friends tomorrow (my birthday is on wednesday... same as your OH blue) but besides that not much planned which is just fine with me as I'm still feeling pretty low energy.

 

[Lindsay109]

LL, just saw your post after I posted mine. Sorry to hear you had a rough morning but I'm really glad that you went out and had some fun. It's good to take your mind off things.

It's amazing how emotional this journey can be eh? When we first started ttc I thought I would be very relaxed about it, and wouldn't really care if it took us a while to get pregnant. That lasted all of about 1 month, lol. I think the fact that you can't really have any control over it is what made it so hard for me... you can do everything "right" and still no luck for no apparent reason. Hang in there hun! Your bfp is coming soon!

 

[Literati_Love]

Lindsay - Ooh...that's nice that your birthday is Wednesday! Can I ask how old you're turning, or is that a secret? I hope you have an enjoyable birthday dinner tomorrow. Sorry you're still so low energy.

It really is so emotional! My 'relaxed approach' did not even last one month, but I'm not a relaxed person to begin with so that is no surprise. I never would have expected the TTC journey to be SO stressful and emotional, though...that's for sure! Thanks for the encouragement and I do hope you're right that I'll get my bfp soon. And I agree the fact that you have no control over whether you get pregnant or not makes it so hard. We do everything in our power, but it means nothing.

 

[Nina83]

Hi everyone!
Hope you all had a good weekend.
LL- I'm sorry about your meltdown Glad you had a nice time afterwards though. Sometimes we all need a good meltdown.
It is stressful. Sometimes I just think that I really don't want to continue. It's draining me so much. I just think of how easier it might to be to just not try. Not NTNP- just saying to myself- whatever. I never thought it would be like this.
I'm starting to understand now how my DD is coming up. I was supposed to be holding my baby in about 1 month. I'm so far away from it all.

Blue- I start to get O pains about a week before O- crazy! It must be a mammoth egg. Are you getting tested again this month?

Lindsay- Happy birthday! October is a great month for a birthday, I don't know why, it just seems like the perfect month! DH has a birthday on the 19th.

As for me...
Well, I also had a meltdown last night. like I said above- I'm almost ready to throw in the towel. I'm so tired.
My chart is wack. Bleh. I feel pregnant some times, even though all signs say not, and then the opposite.
14dpo- cervix is high and firm, milky CM. what the hell body. I'm praying I'm one of those women who get a late BFP.

 

[Linnypops]

Hey everyone

LL - Since i've (over the last few days) been reading an insane amount of literature about TCM (chinese medicine) I discovered there's a bunch of acupressure points you can do on yourself, or DH can do, to improve blood flow to the ovaries - you might want to look into it if you think your left side isn't functioning as well as the right? Apparently, Acupuncture and acupressure are the only known practices to be able to do that. Meltdowns are par for the course really, it is a stressful situation to be in, especially afer loss. Well done for getting yourself back into a happier mood. Many people can't do that x

Lindsay - happy birthday for weds!

Afm - Just been out to whole foods market to pick up supplements, i've stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine altogether (the caffeine quit has nearly ruined me) and DF is now growing me a tray of wheatgrass. I have been converted to an officially 'healthy' person. Oh, and i've ordered a bbt. Hope you're all enjoying your sundays! x

 

[bluestars]

Aww Waw linds that's funny! Hehe well I will hear how your birthday is on the time! Hehe!

Lit and nina sorry for your meltdowns ! I'd be hugging you guys until yous laughed again! They are allowed especially in the tww! I had one haha didn't think I'd come out of it but I did.

Hehe I love the wee baby on your ticker linds it's amazing how quick they grow babies! Hehe are you showing yet?

As for me I'm in a hell of a pain tonight! I don't know what's going on ! Was at a Christening which was lovely. oH is continuing the drinking I came home for a hot pack and a painkiller! Xxx

 

[Nina83]

Blue, I'm sorry you're in pain, you must be ovulating early this month- I hope it's a good sign!

Linny, with my previous acupuncturist- she really worked on my stress and difficulty with everyday coping. After 2 weeks I really started to feel better- it was amazing. I felt like it was easier to breath again.
I like my current acupuncturist, but she's less- sensitive, or gentle. She mainly works on fertility, and I wish she'd do a bit more for my emotional well-being as well. I guess you can't get everything though

Wheatgrass?! Good luck! I heard it's good for the guys to drink. What supplements did you pick up? I couldn't cut out caffeine, I really only drink it in coffee, and I figure 2 cups a day is fine. When I was pregnant I cut back to one.

AFM- 15dpo and no sign whatsoever of AF. Even after DTD last night there was no trace of anything. Usually there is. Cervix is high and medium. I have a dull pressure around my uterus area, and during the night I woke up when sleeping on my side/tummy because it hurt. But I'm not bloated enough that sleeping on my tummy hurts. Weird.
DH said my breasts look much more "fuller" but they look the same to me.
I didn't POAS since Saturday, so I'm real proud of myself. I'm actually scared to.
I'm terrified. All I can imagine, if this is a BFP, is me crying uncontrollably from just being scared/sad...
Ugh
So, adding this now... My coworker just came in and started told me her son was sick yesterday and she didn't sleep all night. And then said "let me tell you, sleep while" I couldn't take it anymore, cut her off and just told her I had another MC , and to think before she tells me anything, and that I would give the world to not be able to sleep through the night because of my baby, she just looked at me and mumbled, "well, I didn't..." trying to find an excuse, I was sure she was going to say something fucked up like you'll understand or don't take it so hard so I butted in again and told her to think twice before she mentions her kid around me again. I was shaking, she didn't even say sorry or anything about my second mc (she knew about the first). Ugh the Bitch. I'm having a really hard time with her. I made her a quilt for her baby and she didn't even say thank you or anything. What a waste. I feel so dumb for thinking she'd appreciate it.

On a much happier note- I'm buying a shitload of winter stuff for myself from Anthropologie. Hey, I deserve it
I'm getting this... https://images.anthropologie.com/is/image/Anthropologie/28968998_049_b?$product410x615$

And this...
https://resources.shopstyle.com/mim/0d/e7/0de7cfe8909a5b961f38248954d7120c.jpg

 

[bluestars]

Well good on you mrs! Well done for setting her straight! I hope she is really embarrassed with herself and thinks how lucky she Is to have what she's got! B*tch!

And I love what you have bought! Think you deserve it ! Hehe

How are you feeling today?

How is everyone else today?
Lit has AF showed up yet ? Xxxx

 

[Nina83]

Thanks Blue, but she's so self centered she probably feels like I did something wrong. Afterwards she went out for a long talk with another girl and I know she blabbed about me. The thing is that girl also had 2 losses but is quite unsympathetic. So who know what's going on. I have to work with her though, might be rough

How are you? Are you still getting O pains?

It's so quiet lately!

 

[bluestars]

Yeah it could be a bit rough. But if it gets too uncomfortable you could maybe talk to her and say why you said it and maybe she will be a bit more understanding (unlikely) but it might be worth a try haha !

O pains have settled down a little. My temp had a bit drop this morning and I got a peak on o test! So gonna try get other half to come home for lunch hehehe ! I can't believe how sore they o pains where yesterday! And the day before. If I haven't o'd this month then someone is playing a really bad joke on me! It was absolutely agony on both side! I was radiating down now legs! Has that ever happened to you ?

It is very quiet ! I wonder how Aleeah is doing!

Crys how are you doing ?

 

[Nina83]

I never got it radiating down my legs, but it got much worse than AF pains.
I usually just put my hands on that spot and sent good thoughts to that area.
Sounds like O is near! Go get that egg!

I just feel alone at work. When I talk about my MC I feel like people think I'm fishing for sympathy.

 

[bluestars]

I think it's support you need not sympathy! Are you not close to anyone in the office?

Xxxx

 

[Linnypops]

Nina - Well, from what i've read (reading Randine Lewis) TCM works on the whole person and that would certainyl include aspects like stress, emotional wellbeing as it's intimately linked to our hormonal system. I would say, in lieu of your acupuncturist taking care of stress/emotions etc - the best thing is meditation and breathing excercises. I used to do it years ago and it was an utter god send (I stopped after moving, just slipped out of the habit). It eventually went well beyond making me less stressed and was probably the happiest period of my life, despite actually my life itself being awful. Terrible job, terrible relationship, awful grief. Yep, even with all that, hands down that is the best place i've been emotionally. I'm going to start again soon.

As for your co-worker, I haven't had to put up with this, having been around no co-workers, and nor have i really told anyone about my mc. But, when my bro died I was working in an office and noticed that after the first few weeks of me going back everyone else effectively forgot what had happened. They'd still turn up at 5:30pm with a bunch of work and stressful deadlines and talk to me like it was any other day. If i ever got upset, they'd ask 'what's happened?' ...they had forgotten! Even my rubbish boyfriend at the time would ask that. For everyone else our grief might cause them to think for an hour or maybe even a few days, but after that - it is gone. And partly that happens because we are so good at putting up an efficient front, they forget because we're not continually sobbing, because we are actually handling it pretty well....so congratulations, because you are handling it well. You're not in a depressed heap, but i think you're right in making sure you keep it that way, reminding others that actually, things are going very well for them despite their complaints to the contrary.

Also, those anthropologie tights are amazing!

Blue, congrats on the +!

 

[Aleeah]

I'm so sorry ladies I've been MIA for so long... I really wanted a break from the website as I was driving myself mad with looking all sorts up and decided as this was a TTC break I should really use it as one. So I did but I did miss you all tonnes!!

So I've tried to catch up but I'm missing loads! Hello to all the newbies, I'm so sorry you find yourselves here but these are a LOVELY group of ladies and I hope you all get BFPs real soon.

So as for me, appointment is Wednesday, I will of course keep you all posted.

Now can someone please update me!?

xxxxxxx

 

[crysshae]

Nina - Your chart looks wonderful. What tests are you using?

LL - Sorry for the negative and downward trend in temps.

Blue - Lovely temp dip today with a positive OPK. Looking great! Good luck!

Linny - Good luck with your healthy diet. Hope the caffeine withdrawal doesn't get you down too much.

Lindsay - Listening to the heartbeat is so reassuring, even if you don't get an ultrasound. If I get to stay pregnant for longer than 5 weeks, I'm going to rent a Doppler, just to have that reassurance daily.

Aleeah - I hope Wednesday is the beginning of answers for you.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

AFM - Not much going on. Same ole thing, different day.

 

[bluestars]

Hey aleeah! We have miss you !

Good on you for taking a break !
How are you?

I dont think there has beenvany more on her yet. However nina and lit are awaiting af ! Fingers crossed . A few melt downs here an there... And thats just from me . Only kidding!. I o'd today or tomorrow i cant remember if you o on the day of temp drop or the next day.... Either way ill be catching it hehe.

What have you been doing ? Xxx

 

[Literati_Love]

Nina - so sorry to hear about your meltdown. I feel like we always have our meltdowns at the same time. We are so in sync! Also, I am glad you said that to your coworker! I wish I were bold enough to tell off my co-worker who loves to flaunt that she's pregnant and I'm not despite knowing about my m/c. She doesn't sound like a nice person, and she probably did talk about you behind your back, but hopefully she will at least think twice about complaining about having children to you next time. If she is an awful person, that is her problem and you should not feel bad. I just hope she leaves you alone next time she wants to parade her selfishness around.
Cute clothes from Anthro! My sis is obsessed with that store. You deserve to treat yourself!
Your body sure seems to be indicating you're pregnant...but it sucks tests are saying otherwise. Good for you for not testing yesterday. When will you test again? Is AF due tomorrow?

Blue - thanks! Sounds like with all your O pains and your temp dip that you definitely ovulated this month. Let's hope it is THE ONE! also I think I have had severe O pain like you described. This month I considered staying home one morning from work because mine hurt so bad I wanted to keel over!

Linny- I absolutely love everything you said about how people forget about your grief and move on. That was brilliantly said. And I am so sorry that people treated you so insensitively after your brother died.

Aleeah- Welcome back! That is so exciting that your appt is Wed! I am glad you were able to take a much-needed break from here but we're so glad you are back.

Crys - thanks.

AFM- AF showed up the second I got out of bed today. This was no surprise. The thing about testing early is I can mourn and mope and cry before AF arrives and then I am prepared for when it does. Now I have officially lost the chance of being in my 2nd trimester by Christmas, so now I have to worrying about miscarrying at Christmas time. Great.

Linds - how are you doing? You are so far along!

Good luck, nina!

 

[Lindsay109]

LL, that's too bad you didn't have much luck with the 'relaxed approach' either, I'm not sure who does, lol. No, it's not a secret, I will be 32 on wednesday I'm so sorry to hear that AF showed up Hang in there hun! I am constantly trying to remind myself that pregnancy works out more times than it doesn't, so I'm going to say the same to you... hopefully you'll be enjoying pregnancy (and lovely first trimester symptoms ) by Christmas. What a lovely time to announce to family too, you could make little presents that they all have to open at the same time or something like that, lots of possibilities!

Nina, I also hope you are one of those people who will get a late bfp, your chart is still looking really good. When do you plan on testing again? I'm so sorry about your coworker, she sounds quite insensitive! Good for your for saying something, hopefully she'll stop with those kind of comments! Glad you did some shop-therapy! Nice choices! I love Anthropologie, we just got a store in Vancouver earlier this year... it's way more expensive than in the states though, so I don't go there.

Linny, good for you! I would recommend mixing the wheatgrass juice in with another type of juice.... it's not very tasty on it's own!

Blue, sorry to hear you've had so much pain! I'm similar to Nina, ovulation pain is very often worse than AF pain for me. Hopefully it means there's a mammoth egg or 2 coming your way! Hope you're doing lots of BDing! As far as showing, I can tell, hubby can tell, and my sister and mother can tell, but I think for everyone else it probably just looks like I've gained a few lbs around the middle, lol. The bottom of my stomach is getting hard though, and sticking out a little more, which I think is my uterus. Not to mention I cannot do up my pants even though I still haven't gained any weight. I'm trying to decide how long I can go before I need to tell work... or anyone else for that matter, lol.

Aleeah, welcome back! We missed you!! Good for you for taking a break, you probably needed it. I hope you get answers and a good plan on wednesday

Crys, I have considered renting a doppler, but am too worried I wouldn't be able to find the heartbeat and would completely panic myself, so just trying to wait it out and think positively between appointments. I think if I was going to rent one, I'd have to wait until just after an appointment, and then try, knowing the heartbeat was there earlier that day, lol.

As for me, not much new except that I've been really really hungry the last couple days... I think my appetite is coming back!!

 

[Literati_Love]

Linds- I am so glad your appetite is returning! Just in time for Thanksgiving and Christmas! And that is so cute how you are showing. If you are protruding that much and haven't gained any weight, it probably means you've lost a couple lbs elsewhere! I am so shocked you haven't told work or anyone else yet! At least your family knows! I'll have to tell work so early since they love to expose us to toxins apparently. I always thought I'd want to tell everyone the second I was 13 weeks but who knows... I may feel the same as you when the time comes. I really think you should cave and buy some maternity pants already. you would be so much comfier!
That is exciting you are turning 32! How was your birthday dinner last night? How long have you and your hubby been married?
I am "only" 25 but I've always wanted to be a young mom so I feel old already!
I am excited for you to hear the hb! And that is true about Christmas being a good time to tell family. If I get preg this month, I would be around 11 weeks at Christmas so I would probably feel comfortable announcing to my sister and her hubby at Christmas ( I would tell them if I had another m/c anyway). Here's hoping I can have a wonderful announcement by then.

 

[Linnypops]

Aleeah! hi there! Looking stuff up was driving me mental too, so now i confine myself to here and a few books. x

Chryss - Glad things are still going well for you - just looked up a doppler, wow, that sounds great to reassure!

LL - Thanks love, looking back on it I completely understand why they did it. But at the time it was awful. Only one person truly enquired about it, and bizarelly she was the office 'mega-bitch', turns out she'd been nursing her dying father for years, and it meant enormous stress = bit of a hard arse in work. Sometimes people are surprising x

Lindsay - congrats on getting your appetite back! and thanks for the tip about wheatgrass!