waiting for ivf and struggling!

[Pinkie 33]

Hi Ladies

How is everyone?

Mummy - what have you done to your house? Have you found it helpful in taking your mind off things? 6 months is a long time to be patient for.

Melbram - hope you have an enjoyable few days in the lakes. I think its a great idea to get away before it all starts again for you.

We watched the documentary last night and found it helpful to see other couples experiencing the same things. We dont know any others who have had IVF. MiL said she found it harrowing as she didnt realise what we had gone through.

We are a lot calmer about it all now and gearing up for round 2. Just wanted to say a big thanks for your support, its helped no end in a very tricky time xx

 

[glenoakgirl]

Hunny, I have so been in your shoes, its awful. The feelings are just unbarable. I have decided to blog about my 12 year jourey. Thats totally not saying it will take you ten years. Its just my story, to get off my chest and I hope it gives comfort to those that follow in my shoes. If you are nterested in a read, I just started a couple of days age, join me. link below

https://mcroli3.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/as-a-little-girl-did-you-always-dream-of-your/

Cry when ever you want, its not ok to be in this position. Get mad, throw things. Believe me that is what made me feel better some days. Huge hugs to you, and tons of them at that.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Gleno 12 years!! I'd have serious depression if it took me that long, I'm struggling now.
I will take a read of your blog, thank you.

Pinkie we had an old pantry and separate utility room beside our kitchen so we got builders in and made it into 1 very big kitchen and downstairs loo which we didn't have.
Having all the floor tiles layed on Monday in kitchen down through our hallway to front door so that's its easier to clean, will be good when we have a buggy going in and out.
We also had the electrics done in the whole house, we had to move out as it was a complete mess and so dusty. Had to take a lot of plaster off a lot of the walls so now need to get every room re plastered!
Got loads of painting to do
Having new front door in a few weeks then need to save to get a new bathroom upstairs as it currently separate shower room, no bath!! And toilet, I miss having a bath after a long day at work when your back is aching.
We have done a lot in 4-5 months and it has made the time go quick, plus I'm manger in a very busy garden centre and my days fly by.

We are all a support for each other as this is a hard journey to deal with and talk about it with people going through the same thing x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Oh and I watched the programme too, had me in tears on a few occasions but was nice hearing from the nurses doctors embryologists etc too.
When I had my eggs put back I had an ultra sound to show where was the best place to put the egg back, they didn't do that on any of there ladies.
I should have told my mum and mil to watch it and show them what we went through but totally didn't think too x

 

[glenoakgirl]

Oh it was the hardest 12 years of my life. It still haunts me.

 

[Pinkie 33]

Thanks for the link Glenoakgirl, I'll be having a look later

Mummy, sounds fab! Painting is the best bit I think, once all the dusty, mucky stuff is done. I think its great that you are making your house ready for a little one, a really positive thing to do. We have been looking at building an extension but the ground is too wet for digging foundations!

Might be worth sending the iplayer link for the documentary to your family? I found it has helped them understand a lot more. We also wondered about the ultrasound at ET. I had to have a full bladder whilst they scanned and we watched them place it on the screen

 

[Melbram]

Hey Ladies

Yes Im not too sure why they dont use the ultrasound - I believe you can request it in some cases. Im rearing to go again now and pray its a happy ending this time

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I think it's good to scan you before so that they have the best chance of putting it back in the right place so it doesn't have to work as hard to get where it's got to go.
I was so uncomfortable and in tears because my bladder was so full and they commented on it too. I found it really hard to stay in bed after the transfer before I went to the loo.

I can't wait to get started too melbram, just want it to be here now x

 

[Melbram]

I had to have a comfortably full bladder but when I know I cant go that is all I want to do and just kept thinking "hurry up!"

I rang the hospital today to let them know I wanted to start on my February cycle and they said I just need to ring on the first say of AF so in theory I could start this month! very tempting but I have not prepared my body at all and have been eating and drinkgin crap over xmas...I know if I did I started this month and it didnt work I would blame the lack of prep - it probably doesnt make a difference but sometimes its psychological isnt it lol

Will you be eating or taking anything specific this time round?

Glad your feeling a bit better now Pinkie x

Glenoakgirl: congrats! 12 years that's a hell of a long time you must be over the moon

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I haven't prepped my body either, I do need to start loosing weight again but so hard working in a coffee shop where I have access to every bit of food and cake I want.
You have to be so disciplined.
When I'm not there I don't eat as much.

I ate healthy last cycle, no caffeine and took my supplements and so did hubby.
Just got to try and stay relaxed x

Wow I'd so be starting ASAP if I had the choose!

 

[Pinkie 33]

How are you preparing yourself for the treatment Melbram? I didnt really do very much different but I'm prepared to try anything! Last time I cut out alcohol and caffeine. We both lost weight to qualify for treatment and took the supplements. Maybe I need some sort of detox?!

How much weight do you want to lose Mummy? I'm hoping to try and shift 7-10 pounds over the next couple of months. Its so much easier in the summer when you feel like eating salad and walking in the evening, rather than scoffing fajhitas and slobbing in front of the fire like I am now!

xx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I was 13stone 9 at the beginning of the year so did weight watchers before i started ivf in july and I'm just over 12 now. Havent lost much for awhile.
People say I don't look 12 stone and I don't think I do.
I was 10 stone when I got married and had a fantastic honeymoon and put on a few stone.

I just need to get motivated again as I only have 7 weeks until I start round 2.

I can't eat salad in winter ha

 

[Pinkie 33]

I was 13st 11 before I dieted for IVF. Got down to 11st 10 at best but I'm now 12st 4. DP lost over 5st but has put one back on over Christmas. Hoping that I wont need to diet to BMI levels again now we are going private.

I think putting a bit on on your honeymoon is fine, no better reason (apart from having a bun in the oven obviously!).

7 weeks is not long!

 

[mummy.wannabe]

What weight did they tell you you had to be to do Ivf?
I was never asked to loose weight apart from at my 1st hospital appointment when they didn't know what I had and thought if I lost weight my cycles would be shorter.

I'm hoping 7 weeks will fly by x

 

[Pinkie 33]

I had to have a BMI of less than 30 and DP less than 35 to qualify for NHS funding. This was 12st 2 for me. It was frustrating but I know it is better for chances of success. I've always yo-yo dieted, it would be fab to maintain a constant healthy weight without having to try so hard

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Exactly the same for me. I've been yo yoing since I was 15, I think that will be me for life now.
I loose a big chunk and then stop and eat what I want x

 

[bundlesofjoy]

Hi mummy and pinkie 33 I also struggle with my weight have an appointment with Dr on the 31 Jan bmi needs to be under 30 to get reffered.

 

[2have4kids]

I know you guys may think this is crazy but I'm sick of the yo-yoing and I firmly believe my hormones and fertility isn't working because of my weight. So I'm fixing it in a more permanent way. I'm getting gastric sleeved on Jan 19th. I was in tears last week, called in sick from work, home alone. I didn't think I was even going to O this month, my face is HORRIBLE with hormone related spots, my thyroid isn't working, I can't sleep and I think I'm probably not producing melatonin, my arthritis is killing me (we've been skiing alot) and I'm going to have to go get bone spurs scraped off my L knee by my orthopedic surgeon (R knee was done in 2011). So I booked in with a top surgeon in Mexico and my flights.

I was in shock the whole day with my decision and didn't want to tell ANYBODY. Thinking up stories I could tell my hubbie etc. Then I realised, this is going to benefit him, I know he'll be supportive and I broke down and told him. I'm not ever going to tell anybody else, this is for me and I think people would make off the cuff negative judgements to me. I just feel like if I don't do something soon I will not ever have kids. I've tried everything under the sun other than being able to control my weight, I have to get down to a regular BMI (hovers between 26-31). I've struggled with weight for more than 15 years now, my goal is 135-145 lbs, my lowest was in 2007 @165 and I've been working with a bariatrics clinic ever since.

The statistics of negatives with the gastric sleeve are shockingly low, the statistics of people loosing weight and keeping it off are amazingly high. They cut your stomach in half which gives you less room to stuff yourself and removes the center that makes the ghrelin hormone (the hunger pangs). I really enjoy sports of all kinds but the extra weight makes my knees groan everytime I do something. It's not going to be an easy fix by any means but I'm looking forward to a slimmer more fertile me, and hopefully my hormones will start working too.

I wanted to chime in, I want to wish you the best with your weight loss programs. I can relate very much to what you're saying about trying hard and then I tire out and eat what i want. I haven't been able to talk to anybody about this, it's pretty radical and I still can't believe the path I've put myself on!

 

[bundlesofjoy]

Hi 2have4kids
I totally understand where you are coming from it is very brave of you. Is a gastric sleeve the same as a gastric bypass? In the UK to have it on the NHS you need to have a bmi of 40 or above. I just hope I will be able to do it with diet and exercise alone. I hope you have fully researched the dr in Cancun you will be using? And you are right it is not anyone else's business you do not need to tell anyone. Well apart from bnb:

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Bundle, thanks for the kind words. It isn't the same as a bypass, a bypass shoots the food out of you cutting your intestines rather than your stomach which can cause dumping and malnutrition (thinking pregnancy here). So you're still left with a large stomach, ghrelin hormone and there's more negative consequences to chopping the intestines than your stomach (it's thin, delicate and more susceptible to tears/leaks). I'm sure the bypass has worked for some people but after all my research I think the sleeve is a better option on many levels.

My surgeon operates at a state facility. If you have any deaths or leaks you are not allowed to work at a state facility, most work at private clinics. He teaches this procedure to other surgeons, he's been the Chief of General Surgery for this hospital and he and his staff speak perfect English. They give you a private room and have you stay there for 3 nights. I paid out of pocket, I def wouldn't qualify for insurance nor do I want to wait for 6 months for them to evaluate everything. It is 4000 + $330 with flights and 1 night stay in San Diego. Unfortunately it's not in Cancun, it's in Tijuana. They have a pick up + drop off service etc. Afterward, I'm completely covered in Canada. This is going to be interesting going alone, I've got a day of shopping scheduled for my time in San Diego.