Afm. There was dark red blood last night, just when I wiped and traces of it today. At first I hoped it must be down to the internal scan, it just seemed obviously linked. But today symptoms are wee bit reduced, and To be honest...we all know the defensive pessimism angle is a tried and trusted one. Called epau this morning hoping to be seen today but midwife still hasn't called back 3 hours later! Normally they call back quickly but not today....So were both in limbo. Fortunately my best friend is coming round at lunch time for tea and hugs.
What's really doing my head in is....you all know how I love my statistics and studies...well in my head I'd stacked it all up..the good hcg numbers in the beginning, the fast doubling rate, the good scan measuring the right size and with a fast heartbeat. These all seemed to put this bean in with a really really small chance of problems....and yet...here we are. Of course, it's not over yet...but let's say that it is. What the hell does that tell me? That despite everything looking perfect on paper - it still goes wrong? If it is the case I feel quite strongly that there must be something up with my body, rather than with the viability of the pregnancy. How else to explain it? I'm printing out the studies I've put together and taking them to the docs if the worst is confirmed and asking her to test me now, rather than waiting to see if it happens a third time. They say 3 in a row is a 1% chance but statistics clearly mean nothing when you find yourself on the rubbish end of them....the odds aren't stacking up and time isn't on my side. Sorry it's all a bit me me me in this post. I am reading and trying to keep up. It's good to get it all out and know none of you will say anything like 'terrible luck'. Xx
well, it'll be Christmas, after all. 
so baby making in the jolly season makes great sense!
have u tried calling them back? Leaving you hanging for three hours is ridiculous!
to all. 
