Waiting for ov after mc. 8BFPs so far!! *"the list" page 291*

[Munchkin30]

It is nice to see yourself getting officially more pregnant, and most losses still happen before you could get a bfp. It's so hard at this stage because everything feels so fragile. You feel like you could fart the baby out given half a chance!

 

[Jrepp]

I've never done a digi. Has anyone gotten a positive on a digi and carried on to have a chemical/early loss (5w or less type thing)?

I had a positive on a digi, and then a miscarriage about a week later

 

[Jrepp]

It is nice to see yourself getting officially more pregnant, and most losses still happen before you could get a bfp. It's so hard at this stage because everything feels so fragile. You feel like you could fart the baby out given half a chance!

 

[arabelle]

Munchkin well said

JRepp- I'm sorry to hear. It must
Have been awful

 

[Munchkin30]

I don't know if you ladies remember but a few months ago I told you my sisters baby had been diagnosed with Spina bifida at the 20 week scan.

Well she was born on Tuesday and was a gorgeous 8lb 9 with lots of dark hair. She had a big sack of spinal fluid on her back and underneath was exposed spinal chord so she had an op on Thursday and is now doing really well.

We're not sure if there will be a disability but it's looking good so far. It breaks my heart though because my sis has a17 month old who's barely seen her and hasn't been able to meet the new baby. And my sis is Breastfeeding but they're saying she might have to leave the hospital and just go back for visiting which is impossible.

And the baby is a long way from my sisters ward and when my dd was born I wasn't away from her even fir a few minutes for months. Also she's been in neonatal intensive care and the babies there are terrifyingly tiny and fragile.

It just makes me realise that a healthy baby is such a precious gift and one none of us should ever take for granted xx

 

[arabelle]

Munchkin- that sounds very stressful for you and your family Glad to
hear baby is doing well so far. Scary to think that after all the wait and see in ttc and pregnancy, there is more on the other side. A healthy baby is definitely not something anyone should take for granted.

 

[slg76]

Arabelle. Horray! I'm SO excited for you! I'm pretty certain you would get a positive on a digi now. I think cheapies pick up 25 mui and digis pick up 50 mui (of course depending on the brand). Your line looks just fine to me. It does look like the dye wasn't evenly put on the test but because your test line looks like the control line I think it's totally legit. Of course a positive digi is neither here nor there when it comes to a mc.

Sorry you are feeling down J. I know it's so frustrating! Even if the "problem" is your body, it's not anything you can control. Have you had any fertility testing done?

Welcome to Loribelle and Kittykat. Seems like this is the place to be lately

 

[Jrepp]

I have an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist on February 19th, if I don't get pregnant sooner. I'm going to try to bump the appointment up though.

Still waiting for AF to arrive. Stopped the progesterone yesterday at 13dpo.

 

[GRGirl]

I've never done a digi. Has anyone gotten a positive on a digi and carried on to have a chemical/early loss (5w or less type thing)?

Unfortunately if happened to me with 2 out of my 3 losses, but that could be different for you. I can see the line easily! Yay!!

Jrepp- I'm do sorry you're down. I've had similar thoughts the last few cycles so I know how ugh it sucks

AFM- only 8dpo so of course I tested and it was negative. Couldn't stop myself. I feel pregnant which I'm blaming on the Progesterone. Just feel out this cycle, but I'm waiting to test til Wed. Should be 11dpo then. Taking the Progesterone but I'll stop after 13dpo if I don't get a +. Thinking I'm out this cycle but hoping I'm wrong.

 

[garfie]

Morning Ladies

Still stalking you all - just not posting 2 reasons one of course it is the silly season and my son who has autism needs a bit more tlc - change is not good for him

two hubby announced the other night it's to late for a baby our time has come to an end damn it I have finally got an appointment for a FS in the New year who has lined up lots of blood tests, scans and a sample for him

So now I'm not sure where I am - I keep smiling but my hearts breaking but after 5 m/c and many dodgy chemicals in the last 4 years with no rainbow baby - maybe he is right

I really feel for you ladies who are still trying after a loss it is one of the hardest things to go through and then when you do get pregnant there is all the worry - I know because I have been there to many times, but the one thing I can say is at least you ladies have time so keep trying

Me I am coming off the progesterone today - still hoping for a small miracle that I have caught this month (how stupid am I).

Ladies I wish you all the luck in the world and for now I will keep stalking but I guess I will have to wean myself off BNB and taking my temperatures/OPKs etc as I guess it wasn't meant to be

I have my two boys and for that I am greatful - but the one thing I wanted I couldn't have even though every year I put it on my Christmas list

I am sorry ladies to be such a debbie downer but I am literaly breaking into a million pieces and I cannot stop crying as I've had to be strong for to long

Thanks for all of your support



X

 

[Munchkin30]

Oh garfie I'm so sorry. It's the worst thing ever and I understand if you were crying buckets you need to give yourself time and space and lots of kindness because you will be grieving what you hoped would be.

And I know i have 1 beautiful dd but it doesn't make the desire for number 2 any less than if I had no children at all so don't beat yourself up for being sad because you have your boys xx

I suppose now you have up decide whether to grieve this and learn to be ok with it and get a puppy and appreciate the relief of not having to opk and temp and stress any more and just enjoy your life.

Or

And this comes with a humongous health warning.... Go to your RE appointment and find out what you can even without telling your husband, and go through each month 'accidentally' having sex at the right time but without telling him or stressing outwardly and if you have a happy 'accident' then what will be will be.

 

[arabelle]

Oh Garfie I'm so sorry. I completely understand that your heart must be breaking. Don't cancel your specialist appointment just yet, that can be done at the last minute. Wait and see how you feel about this decision in a little while, otherwise I think Munchkin has a good idea.

 

[apple_20]

I'm sorry garfie.
I can't even imagine how bad I would feel in your shoes. Having children already doesn't make it any easier you still feel there is something missing. Maybe a break over xmas will relax your oh it could be the pressure getting to him?

I agree don't give up the appointment I would say hear what you are up agaist before deciding what to do maybe convince oh to wait until then to make a decision?

 

[Munchkin30]

Good idea apple x

 

[GRGirl]

Oh Garfie *hug* I understand kinda what you're feeling, but you have been through so much. I wish I could tell you it'll be alright. Instead I'll tell you we're always here and we understand how much it hurts if you ever need to vent. I'll be thinking of you.

DF and I got in a ginormous fight this morning. My temps are down by the coverline and that usually means AF coming for me in a couple days. Must mean I O'ed cd 13 because this is cd 27? Low back cramps and pain, horribly emotional, etc. Pretty sure I'm out and I just picked a fight with DF. Didn't mean to, but I just don't know how to deal with the disappointment every single freaking cycle. I either get a +, get happy for a week, then start bleeding, or get a - and AF comes. Either way I'm always horribly sad (and the Progesterone isn't helping). DF made a comment about, "Even if we only have one kid, it's not the end of the world. Maybe we should just stop" and I laid into him I don't want to, but I don't know how to deal with the disappointment either.

So of course it turned into a big deal and he just came out and said he was totally fine with just DS and I'm turning into a nasty, depressed person (which I am) and he'd rather not have any more kids than have to see me turn into someone I'm not and get more depressed every month.

Worst part is, he's right. I try to use coping mechanisms, I keep Googling therapy techniques to help, and I'm running out of ideas. I have to have an HSG next cycle, which I'm dreading, and I'm fed up with the whole thing.

 

[Jrepp]

Morning Ladies

Still stalking you all - just not posting 2 reasons one of course it is the silly season and my son who has autism needs a bit more tlc - change is not good for him

two hubby announced the other night it's to late for a baby our time has come to an end damn it I have finally got an appointment for a FS in the New year who has lined up lots of blood tests, scans and a sample for him

So now I'm not sure where I am - I keep smiling but my hearts breaking but after 5 m/c and many dodgy chemicals in the last 4 years with no rainbow baby - maybe he is right

I really feel for you ladies who are still trying after a loss it is one of the hardest things to go through and then when you do get pregnant there is all the worry - I know because I have been there to many times, but the one thing I can say is at least you ladies have time so keep trying

Me I am coming off the progesterone today - still hoping for a small miracle that I have caught this month (how stupid am I).

Ladies I wish you all the luck in the world and for now I will keep stalking but I guess I will have to wean myself off BNB and taking my temperatures/OPKs etc as I guess it wasn't meant to be

I have my two boys and for that I am greatful - but the one thing I wanted I couldn't have even though every year I put it on my Christmas list

I am sorry ladies to be such a debbie downer but I am literaly breaking into a million pieces and I cannot stop crying as I've had to be strong for to long

Thanks for all of your support



X

Im so sorry! I have to agree with the other ladies, that perhaps your hubby just needs a break, and happy accidents happen.

Oh garfie I'm so sorry. It's the worst thing ever and I understand if you were crying buckets you need to give yourself time and space and lots of kindness because you will be grieving what you hoped would be.

And I know i have 1 beautiful dd but it doesn't make the desire for number 2 any less than if I had no children at all so don't beat yourself up for being sad because you have your boys xx

I suppose now you have up decide whether to grieve this and learn to be ok with it and get a puppy and appreciate the relief of not having to opk and temp and stress any more and just enjoy your life.

Or

And this comes with a humongous health warning.... Go to your RE appointment and find out what you can even without telling your husband, and go through each month 'accidentally' having sex at the right time but without telling him or stressing outwardly and if you have a happy 'accident' then what will be will be.

I like this plan.

Oh Garfie *hug* I understand kinda what you're feeling, but you have been through so much. I wish I could tell you it'll be alright. Instead I'll tell you we're always here and we understand how much it hurts if you ever need to vent. I'll be thinking of you.

DF and I got in a ginormous fight this morning. My temps are down by the coverline and that usually means AF coming for me in a couple days. Must mean I O'ed cd 13 because this is cd 27? Low back cramps and pain, horribly emotional, etc. Pretty sure I'm out and I just picked a fight with DF. Didn't mean to, but I just don't know how to deal with the disappointment every single freaking cycle. I either get a +, get happy for a week, then start bleeding, or get a - and AF comes. Either way I'm always horribly sad (and the Progesterone isn't helping). DF made a comment about, "Even if we only have one kid, it's not the end of the world. Maybe we should just stop" and I laid into him I don't want to, but I don't know how to deal with the disappointment either.

So of course it turned into a big deal and he just came out and said he was totally fine with just DS and I'm turning into a nasty, depressed person (which I am) and he'd rather not have any more kids than have to see me turn into someone I'm not and get more depressed every month.

Worst part is, he's right. I try to use coping mechanisms, I keep Googling therapy techniques to help, and I'm running out of ideas. I have to have an HSG next cycle, which I'm dreading, and I'm fed up with the whole thing.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. Ttc is difficult, especially when losses are involved. Perhaps your hubby also just needs a break, and it sounds like you do as well.

AFm still waiting for AF to arrive. Temp well below coverline.

 

[Munchkin30]

It does look like AF is on her way but it's not over til she sings xx

 

[Linnypops]

Munchkin - Sorry to hear about your sisters situation, that must be incredibly tough - I hope something gets resolved, are they saying how long she might have to be in the hospital for?

Arabelle - Congratulations!!!! The test just looks a bit dodgy with the colour dragging like that, can you try on a frer if you don't want to try with digi just now?? They give a wonderfully solid line. x

Garfie - That is rotten news, i'm so very sorry to hear that. I agree with the other ladies that you may as well keep the FS appointment, at least then you might get some information about why - and if it's fixable, potentially hubs might agree another shot is worth it? and yes, accidents happen.... So, it may not be as final as it seems...I certainly hope not X

GRgirl - Really sorry to hear it's getting you down - it's no surprise, but I totally think that some additional coping mechanisms would be great in your situation. You could try checking out a local counsellor - they can be expensive, but if they're the right person you only need to go once or twice to get the benefit. Also, if it's possible to take a holiday together, maybe stop ttc for a month, just let yourself enjoy one anothers company etc it might relieve some of the pressure that's built up around it? (I totally understand though that a break is sometimes the last thing you want!)

 

[arabelle]

GRGirl - I'm sorry you're having such a lousy day. Ttc after a loss is really stressful. I know it has been mentioned before, but I can't tell you how much a cycle off helped me, and dh. We really needed some time away from thinking about ttc all the time, and timing bd, and opks, and the whole works. I was much calmer this cycle...may also help that I kept a bit of caffeine and had some drinks until a few days past ov. I think you have to consciously make a choice not to let ttc become your life, and I'm not saying that lightly, I know how consuming and stressful it is, and how emotional it is to deal with loss. But anyone who can see three losses and still be standing is tough. You are stronger than you might think, and while I think you need to be gentle with yourself, and grieve and take time for yourself, I think it also helps to try to set some boundaries so ttc doesn't take over, or at least not as much. It also helped me with dh when I was calmer. I think it's really hard for them to appreciate just how hard it is for us. I'm sure your dh means well, and is trying to help, but it seems like he is seeing the reaction and not the emotions behind your behaviour. We were struggling to talk about ttc stuff, so we tried doing it when out for dinner, it kept the whole conversation calmer. Big hugs, it will get better

 

[arabelle]

My test this morning (14 dpo)