Was due to be bridesmaid for sister...

[bubbles82]

Hello!

Very cautiously popping in here for the first time since getting my BFP with #2.

I am due to be bridesmaid for my sister who is getting married next April. She has recently bought the dresses, and didn't know I was TTC as it took us quite a while the first time round including a loss before I had my daughter, so we weren't expecting it to happen so quickly this time. I have already tried my dress on and my sister now thinks they're all sorted, however now I'm pregnant if everything goes well I will be due to have the baby just a few weeks after the wedding, and there is no chance I can wear the dress she has bought. I was hoping she might go for a style that I could easily pay to have altered if needed, but it is an unusual style that is not going to be possible to alter to fit a bump. It is also an unusual colour so I can't even try find a similar colour and style in maternity wear. I'm not telling any family until after 12 weeks, but I'm really worried how my sister will react, and don't want to spoil her plans at all. By the time I've had my scan it will be around 5 months before the wedding. I'm guessing I just won't be able to be bridesmaid anymore which I'm gutted about, just wondering if anyone else had been in a similar situation or had any advice?

 

[Lucy139]

I personally think it would only be fair to tell your sister so she can get a refund on the dress, I'm sure she will totally understand, you could always ask a dress maker to make exactly the same dress in maternity size for you however this may cost a fair bit xx

 

[LoveIsAllINo]

Hello!

Very cautiously popping in here for the first time since getting my BFP with #2.

I am due to be bridesmaid for my sister who is getting married next April. She has recently bought the dresses, and didn't know I was TTC as it took us quite a while the first time round including a loss before I had my daughter, so we weren't expecting it to happen so quickly this time. I have already tried my dress on and my sister now thinks they're all sorted, however now I'm pregnant if everything goes well I will be due to have the baby just a few weeks after the wedding, and there is no chance I can wear the dress she has bought. I was hoping she might go for a style that I could easily pay to have altered if needed, but it is an unusual style that is not going to be possible to alter to fit a bump. It is also an unusual colour so I can't even try find a similar colour and style in maternity wear. I'm not telling any family until after 12 weeks, but I'm really worried how my sister will react, and don't want to spoil her plans at all. By the time I've had my scan it will be around 5 months before the wedding. I'm guessing I just won't be able to be bridesmaid anymore which I'm gutted about, just wondering if anyone else had been in a similar situation or had any advice?

I don't know why your sister would be upset. Hopefully she can get a refund but I feel you should tell her right away so she can have time to get a refund.

Since you are sisters I think it will be totally appropriate for you to have a different dress than the other women. You know, just like the maid of honor does. Or you can really work hard at staying shape during your pregnancy that way the weight will fall off.

I have friends that have never lost their baby weight and I know women that stayed in shape and their weight flew off and they were back to their normal sized within a couple of weeks after birth. They mainly only gained weight in their stomachs.

My mother gained less than 20 pound with me, and she had an ironing board stomach before leaving the hospital. But my mom is kind of a freak of nature lol

 

[hanni]

I whole new human being is way more special than a dress. I'm sure your sister won't mind at all and will just be excited. And I totally doesn't mean you don't have to be a bridesmaid anymore. Can you find a dress in a different style but the same colour? Or exchange them all for a style that would work? I think you need to discuss it with her and sort something out.
Congratulations on your bfp!

 

[MichCuc]

i also agree this is something you should talk to her about sooner than later. I think the situation warrants telling at least her sooner than you planned. if she can't return the dress, this might make her upset. But planning for the future together will hopefully keep everyone happy. Good luck

 

[DannaD]

I agree that you should tell her before so she can try to get a refund? For the bridesmaid thing, I'd think the dress isn't the most important part and I hope your sister thinks that way too.

 

[Powell130]

I agree with these ladies. Tell your sister. She will probably be super excited for you and yall could make different arrangements as far as the dress.
If you wait too long to tell her she may turn into Bridezilla

 

[squirrel.]

I also agree that though it might be a lot sooner than you imagined, it might be best to tell her soon so she can try to bring the dress back or make different arrangements. I also really like Lucy139's idea of finding a dress maker to make the dress from scratch in a maternity style similar to the original.

When I was planning my wedding I had a year to plan it and took a lovely relaxed time doing it. The thing is, I did everything in chunks. So I sorted out all the stuff with the venue, then the catering, then the flowers, then the dresses etc. If I thought I'd sorted something and then 5 months before the wedding had to suddenly rethink it, I would have found that quite stressful, as by then I had other stuff I needed to think about. The more time she has to rethink, the better. Having said all that I also know the feeling of wanting to tell people on my own time schedule and to do it in the way I want (I have been planning how and when to reveal this pregnancy for such a long time), so I can understand it might be difficult for you to tell her if you're not ready.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I hope you both find a solution! And congrats!!

 

[bubbles82]

Thanks for all the replies. Unfortunately telling her I'm pregnant now just isn't an option, she's quite a bit younger than me and quite immature on top of age gap. We're not particularly close, and I just wouldn't consider telling her before I'm ready to share the news with everyone after I've already suffered a loss. The money isn't an issue, I'll happily cover the cost of the dress if she loses out.

 

[DannaD]

Well then, do your research so when you tell her you can already propose solutions and take some stress off her. Like having one made or a model you found with similar colors or style?

 

[AdriansMama]

My bridesmaid ended up pregnant too I just had her dress altered to be lace up back and a week before the wedding we put a panel behind the strings so her back wasn't showing . I agree you should tell her right away and see if she would be willing to either find you another dress or figure out a way to alter your dress to accommodate your bump