We are PUPOLICIOUS hotties! (19 BFPs so far!!)

[Twinkie210]

I'm back from my walk! It was awesome. We got to release a balloon with a message to my angel, and lay flowers next to the angel of hope statue. I only broke down and cried once, during a song they played called "Dancing with Angels". It was such a beautiful day here too, I couldn't ask for anything better.

After joining the TTC forums I have a mixture of feelings. I always feel happy for the women who get their BFPs, but at the same time I feel jealous that I don't have a BFP yet, and angry that I am even back TTC at all. I should be 17 weeks pregant tomorrow. I should be getting my baby bump by now, but no I am waiting to see if AF is gonna show instead. I should have had a St. Patty's Day baby, but I will be lucky if I get one by next summer. I love how supportive most women are, but it always seems that there are one or two bioches that always want to rain on your parade. I guess that it is the same with most things in life though.

 

[collie_crazy]

My answer is going to be pretty soppy! When I first joined the TTC forums it was OK - I liked getting excited with everyone and their BFPs etc and I have learned so much. Then I was pregnant and didnt much like the 1st tri section - there was too much heartache and people moaning. Then 2nd tri was good people were excited and more relaxed and focused on their littles ones arrival. But then I had to move to Gestational Complications and the people in their were lovely - and of course then I was in 2nd Tri Losses -- well the gilrs I have met through there are my lifeline, seriously. I dont know where I would be without those wonderful ladeis. It breaks my heart we had to meet the way we have but I dont know how I would have got through these last few months without them - everyone around me tries to understand but unless you have been through it you really dont And now that I'm back in the TTC forums again everything feels wrong - like Twinks said I should now be 28 weeks pregnant! I should be moaning about a bad back, arranging my mat leave, decorating my nursery but instead I am peeing in a cup and willing a pink line to appear. Its just all so unfair.

Sorry for being depressing girls!!!

 

[jessy1101]

Ok question i went to Pee a lil while ago and had traces of pink goo on the TP which kinda mad me sad cuz i was like damnit spotting. But i never spot before about 12 or 13dpo so sup with that? I checked my cervix and it was high and very soft too with white cm and pinkish mixed in. At 9dpo does it ruin my chances for this month? Im getting twingges on left side with lots of lower back ache 'sigh'

 

[Twinkie210]

Ok question i went to Pee a lil while ago and had traces of pink goo on the TP which kinda mad me sad cuz i was like damnit spotting. But i never spot before about 12 or 13dpo so sup with that? I checked my cervix and it was high and very soft too with white cm and pinkish mixed in. At 9dpo does it ruin my chances for this month? Im getting twingges on left side with lots of lower back ache 'sigh'

I don't think it ruins your chances. I had full on brown spotting at 9 dpo the month I got pregnant. Remember- you aren't out until you need a tampon! I was given that great piece of advice from a very wise chica.

 

[Twinkie210]

Well I just went to the bathroom and noticed some tinged CM, so I checked it and it looked like EWCM mixed with red blood. Things are not looking too good for me either.

 

[collie_crazy]

girls we will get through this together.

Twinks I completely forgot to say earlier that I'm glad your walk went OK I wish there was a similar thing in my city and I would go. I have found one walk that is to raise money for the miscarriage association charity it was supposed to be at midnight on the 15th but they have changed it to 6:30 now and I will be working till 7

 

[keepthefaithx]

aw twinkie, are you getting more and more blood?

 

[keepthefaithx]

jess

it maybe be implantation, idk like it would be weird to have pink then no pink then pink like 3 days later? ahh...idk, did that happen to you last time???

im trying to think--

 

[keepthefaithx]

i feel at the end of the day, i like this site its informative and i made some friends on it. i know what you mean tho it is hard when everyones getting pregnant and your either ttc or in limbo or 2ww, and its like AHH

i did leave fertility friend tho..bc for some reason it was making me nuts like i cant do it anymore i hate the damn thermometer!

 

[Twinkie210]

keepthefaith- throw the thermometer away you don't need to stress yourself out anymore, TTC is stressfull enough.

Well, I have been spotting all afternoon and now I am pretty sure I am getty AF cramps, so I think she will show tomorrow. I broke down and did a test this afternoon and another BFN. Worst of all if she shows tomorrow, my LP will be down to 10 days I am guessing that is not ideal for baby making. But I have a yearly doc appt on the 18th, so at least I can discuss my charts with him. Maybe he will perscribe something to legthen my LP? I guess it can't hurt to ask.

This sucks big hairy monkey balls. If 16 year old girls can have sex once and get preggo, why can't I when I make my poor hubby DTD everyday around O? I went out to eat this evening with DH and DS and I swear everyone that walked past our table was either pregnant or had a child under 2. If everyone else can have one why can't I???? Seriously, all the months I worried about getting pregnant on accident and the money I have spent on BC, why did I bother? I can have sex every single day and still not get pregnant.

OK sorry rant is over, just not the day I wanted to see a BFN.

 

[Duffy]

Count me in for the oct group

I have had two miscarriages ): But we are trying now and my cycles have been messed up so I have no idea if I'll snag the egg this month. I'm using a cbfm.

 

[Marini_Mare]

My answer is going to be pretty soppy! When I first joined the TTC forums it was OK - I liked getting excited with everyone and their BFPs etc and I have learned so much. Then I was pregnant and didnt much like the 1st tri section - there was too much heartache and people moaning. Then 2nd tri was good people were excited and more relaxed and focused on their littles ones arrival. But then I had to move to Gestational Complications and the people in their were lovely - and of course then I was in 2nd Tri Losses -- well the gilrs I have met through there are my lifeline, seriously. I dont know where I would be without those wonderful ladeis. It breaks my heart we had to meet the way we have but I dont know how I would have got through these last few months without them - everyone around me tries to understand but unless you have been through it you really dont And now that I'm back in the TTC forums again everything feels wrong - like Twinks said I should now be 28 weeks pregnant! I should be moaning about a bad back, arranging my mat leave, decorating my nursery but instead I am peeing in a cup and willing a pink line to appear. Its just all so unfair.

Sorry for being depressing girls!!!

 

[collie_crazy]

Oh Twinks I'm so sorry. You're right, of course it's not fair and all these feelings are normal - it does t make you a bad person. God knows I've had the same thoughts - along with why did I have to lose my baby and 'she' gets to keep hers. Its soul destroying seeing all these people around you with newborns or babybumps and you wanting more than anything to be a part of that to have what they have. But we have to stay strong - we will get through this and we will have our rainbow babies soon

PS it might make you laugh to know I am using my phone to write this and it corrects my spelling well it put new orbs and baby imps instead of newborns and babybumps!

 

[Twinkie210]

LOL you have to love autocorrect!

 

[jessy1101]

I feel ur pain Twinks bfn this morning and had a bit of bleeding with my pee. Now getting the AF somewhat crampiness. I was like WTF come on give me a damn break im only at 10dpo... Why would it come so early?? I cant o earlier then i did shitttt. Basicly today is cd24 and im a 28 so.. Im thinking my body might still b messed up or something.

U know what scares me? It took 6 months the first time what uf its the sane again?? Im also getting sick of people telling me ohhhh you ll see it wont take long ur sooo fertil after a mc..looks like im missing the uber fertility gene in my vagina just ab fab huh?

It kills me all the teen shows of pregnancy and the people who dont even care about the kids it s just an extra wellfare check. I would of had my scan this week for 20 weeks to know the sexe and now i cant it brakes my heart. But look whats the point of being bitter about it? It wont change a damn thing so cant let it get me down i guess..

Huh..im ranting..thats weird to me LOL

 

[keepthefaithx]

jess is ranting! awww lol

i totally agree w the teen pregnancies and hearing stories on tv like of girls putting there babies in trash cans and have 5 abortions, its SO sad to me, and it makes me so angry that should give all those babies to the women who are ready and want nothing more then to be a mommy, like all of us!

 

[keepthefaithx]

who would join a group

"ttc and we are making ourselves f*cking crazy & we need help"

hahha !!

 

[collie_crazy]

I like the sound of that group

Well looks like I am officially out - just felt a bit wet and when I went to the bathroom there was blood when I wiped - sorry TMI I suppose I should be glad in a way - its only 3 weeks ago since I had to have the ERPC for retained placenta after 8 weeks of non-stop bleeding so I'm 'lucky' I suppose that my body is getting back to normal. Now to concentrate on this cycle!

I'm still staying in here though I cant leave you girls, m'kay?

 

[keepthefaithx]

sucks collie dont ya just hate that biotch!!!!

looks like we are going to all be together again next month~!

 

[Twinkie210]

Well if we all get pregnant next month we will all have similar due dates. LOL
My spotting has been so weird, It will be red with lots of gooey CM, then it will be brown with creamy CM. I know it is the start of AF, I just wish she would quit teasing me already!