Wedding etiquette

[porkypig]

just a quick question; who is supposed to pay for the ushers, bridesmaids, flower girls and page boys?

 

[BellaBoo0512]

I paid for mine.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

IMO the bride and groom.

 

[Mummy May]

IMO the bride and groom but it isn't considered rude to ask them to pay for themselves these days. My BM actually offered but I wouldn't let her lol xx

 

[Blah11]

Bride and groom. My friend paid for our dresses and alterations, shoes, jewellery, hair accessories, makeup and hair on the day! Imo if you want a bridal party and dictate dresses hair styles etc you need to pay.

 

[Pearls18]

I'm not sure if there is a strict etiquette these days I think depending on what and how you ask there is a compromise. We paid for ours although the bridesmaids offered to pay for their dresses but we declined, the people I've been bridesmaid for have always paid.

 

[Rachel_C]

I think it's decent for the couple to pay any expenses that wouldn't be incurred by other wedding guests, so probably just any special clothes really, unless it was something like bridesmaids being expected to stay in a hotel when they wouldn't have stayed over otherwise, then I think the couple should offer to pay.

When my daughters were flower girls for my sister, I offered to buy their dresses as I would have bought them dresses anyway if they weren't flower girls and it was something my sister and I chose together and they got to keep them. My sister paid for my dress and shoes (bridesmaid), but if her budget had been tight I would have been happy to contribute as I kept them afterwards and they can be worn again. I wouldn't consider it rude to ask a bridesmaid to pay for either the fabric or the dressmaker if dresses were being made specially and could be used again by the bridesmaid, but it depends on individual circumstances.

For page boys and ushers, if they are asked to wear specific suits when as a normal guest they'd just wear a normal suit, I'd expect the couple to pay for suit hire. If they were asked to wear a normal suit but certain tie or something, I'd only expect the couple to pay for the tie.

 

[neadyda]

We will be paying for the dresses and suit hire. I'm going to ask if they could provide shoes to go with it though. I've only been bridesmaid once for my cousin and this is what she asked of me (to be honest the dress she got for me was really expensive and came from America so I had no worries about paying for my shoes!)

 

[lilyd]

My own personal feeling is that the bride & groom should pay, but I have been to weddings recently where the bridal party have all paid for their own.

I think it is very dependant on the personal views, along with budget, of the bride & groom.

 

[Noodlebear]

If I was getting married I would pay because I personally don't think it's fair to ask someone to be part of the wedding party and then expect them to pay out for everything. Saying that I'm going to be a bridesmaid in August and have had to buy my dress lol.

 

[dani_tinks]

We paid for the accommodation for a lot of our guests who stayed with us at the venue, my Mum offered to buy bridesmaid dresses for my sisters and the best man paid for his suit (he stayed with us).

 

[smileyfaces]

When i get married I will be paying. My OH is best man in august and has had to payfor his own suit which i think is rude.

 

[misspriss]

When we got married, the bridesmaids dresses were paid for by my family. They were just regular dresses from the store though, not "bridesmaid dresses". The groomsmen were just asked to wear regular black suits, I don't think anyone had to buy anything they didn't already have. We provided matching ties. We didn't have any other attendants. The groomsmen doubled as ushers. We went pretty simple!

 

[Tasha]

When I got married we were on a very tight budget and so my bridesmaid (sister) offered to buy her own, I accepted, the only requirement was that the dress was red though, so it she chose something she liked and could wear again if she wished.

 

[jd83]

I'd say the etiquette likely depends where you live. In the US, its pretty common that bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own attire, and are gifted nice gifts from the bride and groom. I'd imagine well off brides/grooms might be able to pay for their wedding party, but I don't think I know a single person or a single wedding I've ever been to that the party didn't pay for their own attire. I've been in several weddings and always paid for my own gown, chosen by the bride, and paid for any alterations it needed.

 

[rosie272]

I'm bridesmaid for my sister in November and she bought and paid for our dresses last week, they were more expensive than she had planned but they were perfect so me and other bridesmaids are buying our own shoes and accessories. I don't mind that at all, as they still have best man/page boy and flower girl stuff to buy. I think it probably depends on the budget of the couple!

 

[sue_88]

IMO the bride & groom pay. Your party, your expenses.

 

[lindseymw]

We paid for dresses, suits & BMs jewellery. My BMs bought their own shoes (their decision, I was going to pay). My Sister paid for our hair to be done (my wedding present from her, otherwise I would have paid).

Imo, the bridal party shouldn't pay.

 

[porkypig]

It's seems to be a general consensus that the bride and/ or groom pay. My two children have been asked to be flower girl and page boy and after having been shown which outfits the bride wants them too wear and changing her mind on the flower girl dress to a more expensive dress, £50 in fact, had asked me to pay for them as she was struggling for money because of her new flat and the wedding- was I right to feel angry about this? ( she went on a 3 day bender last week to Ibiza last week with her mates )

 

[Baby Bell]

I would be a bit miffed about this, If you agree to pay I'd definatly ask for her to choose a cheaper dress.