Wedding etiquette

[tallybee]

Sounds cheeky to me

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I just couldn't imagine it! It seems so cheeky to expect you to pay to be a part of their wedding (on top of all the costs you'll already incur). I'd ask to pick the outfits myself or politely decline the offer.

 

[Tasha]

If she had said from the beginning that she really wanted your LO's as part of the bridal party but couldnt afford the outfits and could you go halves or you pay and have more of a say in the outfit then that is one thing but just saying now, I find that rude x

 

[Jes.shortcake]

I'd say the etiquette likely depends where you live. In the US, its pretty common that bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own attire, and are gifted nice gifts from the bride and groom. I'd imagine well off brides/grooms might be able to pay for their wedding party, but I don't think I know a single person or a single wedding I've ever been to that the party didn't pay for their own attire. I've been in several weddings and always paid for my own gown, chosen by the bride, and paid for any alterations it needed.

^^^This

 

[Lauraxamy]

I think it varies and depends on personal circumstances. I've always offered towards expenses when I've been bridesmaid, I'm bridesmaid in July for a best friend and we all offered, she declined but we know they're trying to do up their home so we insisted on paying some. A lot of people these days have tight budgets as these things are just so expensive!

 

[Blah11]

You don't HAVE to have a bridal party though so if it's not in the budget just don't ask anyone.

Weddings in the us seem to be quite different. The ceremonys are way later than here and we dont have cocktail hour. Also the wedding parties over there are huge. Most people in the UK have 2-4 bridesmaids and a best man plus a couple ushers. Ive seen an episode of 4 weddings when there was 30 odd people in the bridal party :/

 

[lhancock90]

Personally i would pay, my best friends getting married November and i've offered but shes paying to dress me (bridesmaid) and the kids (flower girls)

xx

 

[jd83]

You don't HAVE to have a bridal party though so if it's not in the budget just don't ask anyone.

Weddings in the us seem to be quite different. The ceremonys are way later than here and we dont have cocktail hour. Also the wedding parties over there are huge. Most people in the UK have 2-4 bridesmaids and a best man plus a couple ushers. Ive seen an episode of 4 weddings when there was 30 odd people in the bridal party :/

Yes, I think they are definitely waaaay different! It always confuses me when talking about weddings on here and people mention only getting invited for the evening portion, rather than all day? Most of our weddings are evenings. Or wedding in afternoon (like 3-4 pm-ish), then reception that evening. Sometimes they are back to back, sometimes there's a few hours between them if bridal party are getting pictures done in between.

 

[RachA]

I personally paid for my bridesmaids dresses as I was asking them to wear dresses that I wanted them in. I asked them to pay for their own shoes because I knew they'd all wear them again and again (I know for a fact that had they not been bridesmaids they'd of all bought new shoes for my wedding and I wasn't making them buy wedding type shoes). My sister paid for her daughters dresses (they were flower girls) because I'd spent a huge amount in the other dresses. Plus had they not been flower girls she would if still bought very similar outfits for them. I did however pay for their sashes as this was an extra.
Iro the ushers etc I'm not 100% sure-we hired suits but I'm not sure if OH paid or if my parents did (they were paying for the majority if the wedding).



If I was doing it again now I would probably still do the same. The way I see it is that if you are asking someone to wear something specific why should they pay-none of my bridesmaids have worn their dresses again but had they just been guests and bought their own outfit I've no doubt they would of bought something they could wear again.

 

[DanielleM]

I paid for all of mine, although my friends has asked her bridesmaids and ushers to pay for their own which in my opinion is quite cheeky

 

[bumpy_j]

I'd only agree to pay if I had choice over what they wore. Otherwise that is really rude!

 

[Mazzy17]

We paid for everything, but one of my bridesmaids took the piss as she was demanding £150 shoes!

 

[Baby Bell]

We paid for everything, but one of my bridesmaids took the piss as she was demanding £150 shoes!

Omg please tell me you told her no.......that's just crazy and so rude to demand that much!

 

[Mazzy17]

We paid for everything, but one of my bridesmaids took the piss as she was demanding £150 shoes!

Omg please tell me you told her no.......that's just crazy and so rude to demand that much!

I just looked at her and laughed then got the the cheapest (and ugliest) pair i could find

 

[mumandco]

Were getting married in just over 9weeks,we are on a bit of a budget as we haven't long decided that we were getting married this year,I asked my niece to be flowergirl and have paid for her,dress shoes and hair accessories. My ohs best man insisted to pay for his suit as soon as my oh asked him and my sister asked if she could be bridesmaid if she paid for all her own things so of course I said yes. I'm grateful that they have offered to help. The best man has said that he will hire the exact same suit as my oh and my sister was told our colour scheme but she could chose the style of dress. However when she went to try dresses in she fell in love with a navy dress and I liked it too so we changed our whole colour scheme-which wasn't too much of a problem

 

[Baby Bell]

We paid for everything, but one of my bridesmaids took the piss as she was demanding £150 shoes!

Omg please tell me you told her no.......that's just crazy and so rude to demand that much!

I just looked at her and laughed then got the the cheapest (and ugliest) pair i could find