wedding gift question

[Warby]

Hi everyone, please weigh in with an honest opinion.

This summer, my husband, youngest child and I are going to Ireland to attend a friend`s wedding. As we live in Canada, it is a significant journey for us. He is a very dear friend and we are so excited to see him marry the woman of his dreams/his best friend.

With the costs of airfare, accommodation, vehicle rental, food and other costs it will be an expensive trip for us.

Are we expected to also give a wedding gift to the happy couple? I don't want to sound conceited and don't mean that being in my company is an amazing treat for anybody but in this case, is our presence consider enough of a gift?

If it matters, the groom is 42 and the bride is in her late thirties. They both had homes of their own before moving in together and are well established in their careers.

So- gift or no gift?

 

[missk1989]

I think I would still get a gift but as you are having to spend so much I would probably only spend £20. Maybe a £20 voucher for a restaurant they like?

 

[supertabby]

I would still give them a gift but I think it's fine to be an inexpensive one. Just a little token something to unwrap. They'd be really stupid not to realise you're spending a fortune just attending though.

Is there some wedding tradition in Canada that you could take inspiration from? Give them a Canadian style wedding gift?

 

[Camlet]

I agree with the PPs I would still give them a gift but only a small one. It doesn't have to cost much at all, it's the thought that counts xx

 

[Sarah lo]

I think I would still get a gift but as you are having to spend so much I would probably only spend £20. Maybe a £20 voucher for a restaurant they like?

I'd go with the restaurant voucher too

 

[Pearls18]

I wouldn't ever go to a wedding empty handed, but perhaps just get something small and personal, is there perhaps something Canadian in nature that would be nice? I'm from Wales but live in London and got my boss a welsh love spoon when she married.

 

[Pearls18]

Oh sorry supertabby didn't see your post wasn't trying to copy lol.

 

[Sqwidge]

I would go with just a small token, like an ornament/statue or something from Canada?

 

[Baby Bell]

I agree with pps, not an expensive gift but a token. But I would imagine the appearance at the wedding would be more than appreciated especially the effort you have went too xx

 

[Leesy]

My way of thinking is if it's going to cost alot with flights, accommodation etc whats another $50 to $100 ontop. I'm by no means 'rolling in it' but if I was going to that much effort to save up for a great trip that little bit extra really wouldn't make that much difference in the long run.

 

[sue_88]

Perhaps a farm for one of their wedding photos?

I'd never go to a wedding with no gifts personally.


ETA: a farm? Dohh....I meant frame! Lol

 

[TwilightAgain]

I think it depends on your financial situation. Personally I wouldn't if I couldn't afford it, especially having spent so much already. I think the fact you have travelled all the way there is more than enough. However if you have the money, a little token gift would be nice but I don't think there should be any shame in going to a wedding with no gift, everybody's financial situation is different. This year i'm going to two weddings/receptions and for neither am I giving a gift because even stretching an extra £10 is a no go. The most important thing is that you turn up to share their special day, anything else is a bonus.

 

[emyandpotato]

I don't think you need to get a gift. A card with a long personal message that they can keep is just as nice and much cheaper.

 

[Baby Bell]

I don't think you need to get a gift. A card with a long personal message that they can keep is just as nice and much cheaper.

Agreed, I'd be more appreciative of a lovely thought out card than another toaster

 

[Warby]

Thanks for your feedback, everyone. I suppose I could give them that quintessential bottle of Canadian maple syrup! The groom is Canadian but hey, who doesn't like pancakes?

The gift thing is a bit tricky. I have been invited to two destination weddings (didn't go to either) where the bride and groom stated on the invitation that they did not want gifts, in recognition of the expense people were incurring to go. Those were in Mexico and Jamaica, where none of the wedding party or guests lived so EVERYONE would be travelling. For this Irish wedding, many of the groom's friends and family are arriving from Canada or India, but the bride's family and their local friends are from there.

 

[Lauraxamy]

I'd just take a nice card and maybe put a gift voucher for somewhere nice in there, doesn't have to be expensive.

 

[jd83]

I think given the travel expenses are going to be so much, they are going to be completely understanding of that when it comes to gifts. I'd personally probably just give a nice card with a personal note congratulating them, as I'm sure they'd appreciate the thought gone into writing it.