I'm new to this thread, or any thread! I'm 31 and hubby is 35. You know how they say the first year is always the hardest at marriage? So not true in our case. First year, bliss, second year blissfully happy, third year excited (baby makin time), forth year grrrrrr, fifth year double triple grrrrrr. I hate to say that not having a child has put such a strain on our marriage, but it has. Last year we found out "the news". Ya know, the dreaded follow up at the dr office after tests. You enter dr office telling each other that everything is going to be fine there is nothing wrong and it's just taking awhile? NOPE! Follow up visit was like a kick in the CHEST! Low sperm count, poor mobility, ect. 1% chance of EVER having a CHILD!! Meanwhile, 2 close friends are pregnant, and one is my husbands sister in law. So, the two people who walked in the dr office full of hope and faith and love for one another, walk out not holding hands, not talking, tears running down our face, dr is crying, everyone is a mess. We drove seperatly because I came from work and he works nights. So dreaded drive home alone, bawling. Knowing he's bawling, makes me bawl harder! Take the long way home, pull in the driveway, he gets out crying....i'm crying....standing in the driveway crying and holding each other....neighbors thinking WTF is wrong?! I can't help but laugh a little bit about that. SO! Silver lining; have me checked out, and try IUI? Nope, too devestated to move on from the first kick to to get kicked down again when IUI doesn't work. So everytime I think about going with the IUI getting checked out...I think wait a min, this is gonna happen naturally, you just need to chill out and wait. God has a plan to bring your marriage closer, and then GIVE you a child. Ok ok, so I'll wait. What if I wait too long?! THEN it will NEVER happen.
This year is it, folks. I'll be 32 and completely exhausted of this feeling of wanting to have a child but can not. I'm tired of posting, thinking this is going to fill a void if I just hear one more miracle story. Posting is not filling this void, writing about my experience is nt filling a void. It will be my husband and I until we divorce or die of old age. and even then we can't die together, this isn't the notebook, so someone has to be left alone...to die alone....with no one to visit you. I'm not saying this is why I want a child is to not be alone. I'm saying I want a child because it's the most natural feeling in the world, and yet the most dangerous. It's dangerous because when it's taken as long as it has us......you start to turn on one another....and then you don't recognize the other person. You start questioning everything.
I choose to stop questioning. I choose my life with my husband, I choose to be happy and live this life to the fullest. One day I'll look back on all of this experience, and be able to see why it wasn't possible. I can't see it now. But I will later on. I need to believe there is a higher power at work in our lives that has chosen a different path for us.
I'm just sending this out into the great wide Thread. Thanks, Great Wide Thread....goodnight.
Ladies!! Im new here too!
So it would be great to talk to other women who over analyze everything and take it as a possible YES sign 
showed up today! Really thought I might have a chance at seeing 
but I guess its not our month!
to everyone!!
never late or if i am im onlt 1 day if not a few hours
but why am i testing neg https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/my-account/bbt_chart.php?cycleid=128767 
