Welcome to 'Trying To Conceive Over 35'

[Grey Eyes]

Not sure why I have baby-brain? Or maybe I should say baby-ON-the-brain??? PG maybe? Today would put me at....7dpo.

and lol...I think I am gearing my mind for the next one. I think I'll just say that I WOULD like another baby. I know it'd be like a hammer to the head lol, or maybe to the body, but I am in pretty good shape right now- I would be comfortable ion a bikini and I have image issues Although I would enjoy sunning w/ a beer in my hand this summer I wouldn't mind being pg either!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Hello Jess! I saw you stalking earlier so thought I'd say hi and Miss you!

 

[never_give_up]

Thanks Phil
My OB was not compassionate at all. She basically said that she was sure that the pregnancy was not viable and booked me for a d & c even though I told her I wasn't ready and still felt pregnant. When I went for blood draws etc they told me the doctor had booked me for the d & c the next day! The councellor talked with me and said that she could see I wasn't emotionally ready. I only want my results from the autoimmune tests. When I get pregnant again I will not be going back to her!! When I insisted on one last ultrasound she said insurance wasn't covering it. I told her I wanted it anyway. Donor egg is 29 k so $600 isn't much but she made me feel like an idiot. I still can't get over how cold she was. I got that feeling first time I met her but I sucked it up since she is a high risk OB and I wanted answers. I am so not celebrating 42nd birthday this year

Sorry for the rant

Talking about birthdays isn't your birthday this month Coy?

aww, Sam, I am so sorry.....

Chantal, Even though you paid out of pocket, it wasn't for naught.... you got to see for yourself what was happening and know without a doubt that moving ahead with the D&C is the best option. You were able to make that decision and your care providers were compassionate enough to wait until you were ready to move forward instead of forcing it on you. Still sending you love and angels.....

speaking of Angels.... how are you feeling today, Angel?

fingers crossed for the bfp's we are still waiting for!

Ali..... very sweet! kissing your hand! what a classic move! I'm a huge romantic myself.... I love stuff like that- ahaving doors opened for me, going to dinner etc....

hope this finds you all well...

phil.

 

[Babywhisperer]

Hi Babywhisperer. Sometimes I think my attitude stinks, but thanks. I think we started on pur quest around the same time. I ended up with a place in Long Island, because I received more benefits under my plan. I have to say in the beginning they were disorganized and not very personal. I had my doubts, but as time went on they got personal and were very organized. The doctor i went to see didnt do the procedure, but I ended up with one of Americas top 10 doctors for IVF. I also had AMH of .47 and they suggested I not wait. Looking back I don't think Im a candidate for IUI. I would take a shot at it if your skeptical. I however, am comfortable with the docs taking a look at egg quality andpicking the best. I didn't have much to pick. They had to do assisted hatching and icsi also. They fertilized 4 eggs and only 2 made it and that is was we implanted. At 39 I prefer IVF rather than taking a blind shot with IUI. You can make 10 eggs and (its highly unlikely)' but all 10 can get fertilized. My friend did IUI and ended up with triplets. With my poor egg quality (my best being a B anf the others being a D or less) it scares me.

So Friday I test. I tested Sunday and Monday and they were negative and I' m not doing it anymore. Im going to wait, I think for now.

Alicatt. So happy that the doggies are healthy and running around how is your food program?

Coy. Im praying your DH gets healthy soon and you kick the white spots butt. It sounds so cute how Aeryn stares when shes hungry. I girl after my own heart! She loves food! Me too!

Chantal. Be assertive with your RE. This is your chance to get information. Im so glad you spoke to a counselor. I am heart broken for you, but I have faith that your happiness is around the corner. I am wondering why the placenta broke away. If you were 7 months would they call that placenta privia (sp). My mom had that with my brother and was bed ridden and my brother was premature, but it was a result of a car accident.

Afm. Ive been busy with work events after work. Im exhausted and have a ton of work to do. I feel bloated and my chest is hard and sore. I guess its the meds. I have been able to stick to breakfast and lunch on freshology, but dinner is always out. Hope it doesnt mess me up. Today Im coming home reasonably early, so Ill stick to the program! Good day ladies. I missed you guys

Coy - eek! I really hope you get over your sinus infection and spotted tonsils fast! I can totally understand you worrying, especially with your DH possibly needing to be in the hospital. You can't both be sick! Sending you my NK cells to fight it

Angel - so glad you got to tell your DH, and what a touching moment to do so as well. Now he's on board. I have good feelings about you and your job situation as well as your baby. I think that things are looking up for you! I can just feel it!!!

AFM - its been a crazy busy day!!! EEK! My family room and kitchen are all painted They look amazing! So happy Then I got a call from my electrician and he said he wanted to be here tomorrow I of course said sure that is great, but man. Why couldn't he have told me on Friday so I could go out and buy all the fixtures So then I called my FS office and they were like we need to see you today. NOW! AHH! So I had to run down there at 2:30 to get my baseline done. Everything looks great, my lining was 2.4mm, no cysts and I got the all clear to put my estrogen patch on By the end of the cycle I'll be wearing 4 patches, but right now I am to put 1 on. Then in 3 days I put 2, and then 3, etc. So that is all great!!!! Then I stopped to pick up all the fixtures and of course they were out of one of them so I had to go to a second Lowe's then I didn't like the light switches at Lowe's so I had to go to Home Depot too I'm finally home and now I have to put in another 2-3 hours of work that I missed earlier. All I really want to do is

Drumroll... Zoe's tumor was just fatty cells, and NO CANCER! So she is going to be just fine! So happy

So that is my update.. I'm going to post pictures of the new family room and kitchen on FB for those that want to see it! Course the kitchen will look better tomorrow after the new pendant lights are in and the under cabinet lighting is there. OHH.. can't wait. I will be so strange to be able to SEE in my kitchen at night! I won't have to wear a headlamp on my forehead

Hi everyone!! Ali this is great news, I have been following your posts and I am happy to hear the cut little pup is going to be ok. How is the rest of your amazing journey going? I must say that everything you have posted has really informed me for my next step.

Coy - the white spots, are they coxsackie (sp?)? I know it goes around schools as it's very contagious. I remember having it when I was little and swallowing hurt like hell. I hope you get better. As for dh, maybe a few days out of the house will help him, let alone the IV will do wonders, When I had Lyme the IV checked the bacteria faster than oral antibiotics. I hope he gets better soon. In the meantime you need your sleep and nutrition to stay healthy for yourself and your family.

Chantal, my heart breaks for you. When I read about your bfp I was so thrilled for you and felt like "yes good things do happen to good people". This is not the end of your journey. My friend just gave birth last Friday to twin boys with donor eggs. She had a chromosomal defect that prevented her from carrying past 1st trimester. Needless to say she had many mc's and heartbreak, but her and her dh are on Take your time in going for the d&c, and definitely get all those tests done beforehand. I will say a prayer for you.

Angel, congrats girl!! I don't know how you kept it from dh for so long! I suck at keeping stuff from my dh and have no poker face whatsoever! I hope you get past the and asap. I look forward to hearing all about your pregnancy.

Samsfan, I am so curious how your journey has been?? Your attitude is inspiring. Any tips or insight for me? Stay patient and don't drive yourself crazy with early testing...try and keep busy.

Hi Twiggers I am 37, dh 35 and we have been trying to conceive since the Summer, but ntnp for the year+ we have been married. His morphology is 5%, count 90 million, motility 55%. My FSH was 7.8, AMH was .47 in Dec but after a lot of acupuncture and herbs it jumped to .79. I went to a RE in Dec and she placed such an urgency on our stats, highlighting my AMH and DH's morphology. I have since received a second opinion from Cornell in NYC and they said they look for a minimum of 4-5% morphology...they were not as concerned with that figure. When they did a u/s the RE even said the follicles he saw suggested a higher AMH than .47 so he retested me.

We have decided to try IUI with injections of Gonal-F. I am currently waiting for AF today or tomorrow so I can go in for my baseline u/s and blood and start that night with injections. I felt that at the very least we could try a less invasive approach before IVF and they can see how I stimulate. I don't know what to expect other than what the class I took said. I would love for this to work, but I have a feeling it won't. If it doesn't we will have to decide where to do IVF since the RE on LI while disorganized staff seem not as caring and not as compensated like at Cornell, they participate with Attain so it would be more affordable and put less pressure on me if the 1st cycle doesn't work. I do have a better feeling about Cornell though. They are a well oiled machine, thorough, and had me pre-authorized, meds ordered and delivered from Freedom Pharmacy 24hrs later. We'll see.

I have missed you all so much, but while debating what to do I felt that staying off BNB kept my mind quiet and emotions steady to make a decision. I hope all of you aren't upset that I have been MIA.

Speaking of....where is Jess??? How are you graduate?

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. I am saying a prayer for you. I'm glad you are with a great doctor and have confidence in their staff. It will happen for you. I know someone who did 3 rounds of IVF and got her bfp their last round. She had a healthy baby girl and no joke, 6mos later she conceived naturally!! Where on LI are you going? I've heard there is a place in Suffolk county with great stats.

Big hugs to you!

 

[never_give_up]

Thank-you Angel I have been praying for you also. You deserve this rainbow after all the heartache you have been through.

Sam and Chantal

Sam, have a well deserved glass of wine or two and get it out of your system. Like Ali says then get an appointment with your FS to analyse things and to look forward


Chantal... your u/s was not a waste of money! It brought you answers and also closure so it was well spent. I'm so sorry you are facing this . I have had both natural MCs, waited after MMCs diagnosed to go naturally and D+Cs. Out of them all despite the medical intervention bit the D+Cs were the easiest for me as I didnt physically see things. I'll be praying for you on Monday.


Ali... yeah for your 'date' and I'm glad he's been in contact already. Did you feel any spark, or potential 'if only'?


Coy... I'm sorry that you still have a sick household, but one slightly on the mend if my reading is right. How are the spots on your throat? I loved the pics of Aeryn of FB.


Phil.... that pic was gorgeous, it makes me feel really broody! Things seem to have settled well for you now? I hope DH is still continuing his recovery x



Ladies... I'm still feeling as rough as . I'm hoping it is a good sign. My acupuncturist couldnt believe I was pregnant already when I told her today.


I am reading, just no blooming energy to regularly post

 

[Grey Eyes]

Chantal- when I went in for my d and c I was stunned at how cold and almost, well, rude my surgeon was. He was cold, unfeeling, abrupt- you name it. I hated him! Then, after we all got home that night late I was talking to dh...he told me after the d and c the surgeon came out with tears in his eyes and expressed to dh that his own wife had just mc'd a few weeks earlier and they had to do a d and c. I think his coldness toward me was his way of handling what he had to do? So I decided liked him after all...I think in many ways the high risk doctors seem cold because it is how theydeal with the emotions. Anyway, I don't blame you a bit for how you feel! And I agree- this doc should have shown you more compassion and not made you feel like an idiot for having hope! I would start now looking for a good doc I was very fertile after my d and c...and in fact after my first mc I was very fertile- not sure why? You could get preggo right away

 

[Grey Eyes]

Nope, my birthday is in April I don't feel old yet! I'll be 38 Gots more in me for sure! lol....

 

[Babywhisperer]

Thanks Phil
My OB was not compassionate at all. She basically said that she was sure that the pregnancy was not viable and booked me for a d & c even though I told her I wasn't ready and still felt pregnant. When I went for blood draws etc they told me the doctor had booked me for the d & c the next day! The councellor talked with me and said that she could see I wasn't emotionally ready. I only want my results from the autoimmune tests. When I get pregnant again I will not be going back to her!! When I insisted on one last ultrasound she said insurance wasn't covering it. I told her I wanted it anyway. Donor egg is 29 k so $600 isn't much but she made me feel like an idiot. I still can't get over how cold she was. I got that feeling first time I met her but I sucked it up since she is a high risk OB and I wanted answers. I am so not celebrating 42nd birthday this year

Sorry for the rant

Talking about birthdays isn't your birthday this month Coy?

aww, Sam, I am so sorry.....

Chantal, Even though you paid out of pocket, it wasn't for naught.... you got to see for yourself what was happening and know without a doubt that moving ahead with the D&C is the best option. You were able to make that decision and your care providers were compassionate enough to wait until you were ready to move forward instead of forcing it on you. Still sending you love and angels.....

speaking of Angels.... how are you feeling today, Angel?

fingers crossed for the bfp's we are still waiting for!

Ali..... very sweet! kissing your hand! what a classic move! I'm a huge romantic myself.... I love stuff like that- ahaving doors opened for me, going to dinner etc....

hope this finds you all well...

phil.

Can I please hit your OB? Who goes into medicine let alone a specialty that includes hormones and isn't compassionate??? Hellooooooo we are at our most vulnerable! I say the next time (if there is a next time)the OB is doing an exam, your trick leg acts up and you kick her.

You take as much time as you need. Who are they to rush you?

 

[Grey Eyes]

Babywhisperer- I agree w/you 100% Times like this r when we need more compassion and understanding....My doctor is awesome but when it came time to tell me I was mc'ing he just said "your baby died- come in and we'll give you something to help flush it out." I was stunned, shocked, offended--hurt. I hated him for a long time. If they can't be understanding then they shouldn't be OB's. Chantals doctor is an OB alright...an OBee-otch! she's not there to dust over the mother or pretend she's an idiot. Chantal- you are doing the right thing, you deserve a great doctor!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Good morning ladies!!

 

[Grey Eyes]

:

 

[alicatt]

Good morning ladies!!

Afternoon! Is it bad that I felt like a beer with breakfast? Or that I ended up drinking one? I didn't have lunch until 11ish..

How is everyone doing? I had a monster headache again.. the beer has helped!

 

[Grey Eyes]

OMG- I want a beer at breakfast! LOL! That'd help me deal w/3 kids lol......you're not bad Ali Somimes beer does help w/headache. Oh and I've noticed if I drink 1-2 beers I nail 100% on my criminology testing Whatever, right?!


Funny thing, I am starting to become conflicted...want a or not? ...hm...I am a bit dissappointed when i get a bfn I am aprox. 8dpo today. Am I crazy? I just feel my clock ticking you know, and love my kids ..hm.

 

[AngelSerenity]

Coy.... we all know you want another, and why not? The heart wants what the heart wants , whether the timing is perfect or not .

I agree with Ali I would take the pressure off both you and DH even contemplating and NTNP for a while and see what happens.


Ready for bed girls and it's only 19.45! DH is being a plonker and it doesnt help that I'm majorly hormonal. I'm thinking about going to my mums for a few days as I can't take his selfishess over a couple of issues any longer. I'm probably overreacting but he has a drink dependency and I'm sick of him not dealing with the issue, he'll end up an alcoholic and I am NOT having anything to do with him if he does. I fear tough loving doesnt stop at parenting does it, but the fear of losing him always stops me going out that door.

I need to grow balls!!!!!!!!!!!

At least he is away out as I'm sick of him today.

 

[AngelSerenity]

Oh and Ali, beer for breakfast? It's been a while since I've done that, I think as long as university!

I could have killed for a few vodkas earlier lol.......

 

[Grey Eyes]

Angel- does your dh drink alot? Maybe his way of dealing with stress? Introduce him to chocolate lol...jk! It can be a problem, I am sorry you are having to deal with it

Ideal life:
1) Huge house
2) somebody else to clean it
3) loads of money to spend
4) stress free ttc and pregnacy

Yeah. Like THAT'S ever gonna happen

 

[Grey Eyes]

I know..I think NTNP is best for now- I told dh not to wag any fingers if I get a bfp! Takes two I told him........ or one very determined woman and a sperm bank! I mean on one hand I want a nice lean muscular body back, on the other I am thinking tick tock...

 

[AngelSerenity]

Well although I'm shattered as I've had Kyan ALL day (DH lay in bed until lunchtime with a hangover), at least Kyan and I had some fun.

His first snowman....


https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8229/8582763157_a15233cfbe.jpg
Untitled by Angel Hug, on Flickr

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8378/8583865594_9c8491906a.jpg
Untitled by Angel Hug, on Flickr

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8389/8582760573_5c19c57eff.jpg
Untitled by Angel Hug, on Flickr

 

[Grey Eyes]

Aw, lovely pics! What a sweet baby you have First snowman is always fun!

 

[AngelSerenity]

Coy.... DH definitely drinks too much, and he knows it. He goes through phases of drinking 3 nights a week, about 8-10 beers. This is his normal, and I can barely stomach that. When he slips, which he is at the moment he drinks 4 or 5 nights a week.

His father had drink issues and all the family can see the warning signs with him, he is really ignorant and defensive about it, but arent all addicts, or potential addicts? I know he is the only one who can help himself etc but he just doesnt get that he will lose his family in the process as well. When we first met it was good partying and social drinking but I remember about 3 years before we got married it changed a bit. Once we were married he drank for 6 nights a week for 6 months and I nearly left him to get him to wise up then.

I think my problem is that I have fallen into the trap of throwing threats that I dont fall through e.g. well if you drink more this week I'm leaving and I dont. I sometimes feel like a bit of a doormat if I'm honest.

And the real shame of it is that apart from this issue, admitedly a deal breaking issue, we are great together. He is kind, thoughtful and we are 50/50 the whole time with everything.

I sometimes think I just have the blinkers on and I know the inevitable will happen someday. He knows that if it EVER affects things with our DS that is it, Kyan is number one.

He just has no willpower, fecking useless more like it in dealing with it. And he can do it, he went off the drink for 8 weeks when I was pregnant just in case I went into labour early etc.


Sorry for the vent, this obviously isnt something I talk about to people a lot xo