What age do you allow your children to play out unsupervised?

[Natsku]

I'd expect Maria to walk to school by herself from at least 2nd grade (8).

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

at like 11 ...

 

[Sarahkka]

Tasha, Simon will be 6 when he is in grade 1. I am perfectly comfortable with him walking to school by himself at that age. Now, to be fair, our school will be about 1.5 blocks from our house, but he will have to cross one road that has poor visibility and more traffic than I would like to see in a residential neighbourhood.
I think it is important for him to be able to get himself to school and back. I intend to transition him into it and will work to find other kids he can walk with, but I definitely want him to be able to make his own way to school by that age.
I would also want him to be able to learn to use our City transit system. I think by age 8 or 9, depending on his maturity, I would be helping him figure out how to take the bus to go to a friend's house or an after-school activity. He will most likely have a cell phone by then, so there are safety nets in place, but I think this level of self-suffiency is very important to nurture in young kids.
I did all of those things and more at his age.
However, as I said before, this really depends on individual circumstances. There is no arguing that some neighbourhoods are much safer than others, so our risk is not equal. I do think that our perception of risk has been badly misguided by an overly emotional response to tragic events that we have seen on the media, rather than by a more rational analysis of actual measured statistical risks. And I have been reading a lot about how this may be affecting the development of children: if they are never exposed to risk, they never develop the skills to accurately assess it and deal with it. I think that is a serious concern that needs consideration when we are adopting "safety" measures for our children.

 

[lindseymw]

Playing outside in the street, I would say 6-7? Depending on whether his road awareness has improved.

I was walking to school on my own/with friends by about 7/8 years old. I was walking to secondary school on my own, which at the other end of town (about 2 mile walk). By 12, I was going on the bus to nearest 'big' town to the cinema, shopping etc.

I wouldn't say it was age based, it would depend on their maturity and general awareness of everything around them. At 4 now, we make sure he looks both ways before crossing the road, ask him if he thinks it is safe to cross etc whilst we are with him so it is instilled into him to look and be aware.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Imo anyone under secondary age should not be left responsible.

 

[Natsku]

Imo anyone under secondary age should not be left responsible.

Why do you think that?

Here young children are taught independence and responsibility from a young age and are playing out and navigating public transport by themselves long before age 11. Schools usually finish pretty early in the afternoon (looking at the timetables for schools in my town anytime between 12 and 2 is normal), long before office hours are over so children are often alone then anyway so they need to be responsible.

 

[dani_tinks]

Jacob semi plays in the back garden unsupervised (as in I might pop in to make him lunch when we're out in the sunshine). But I see no need to let him play out in the street. Although we live on a private road/private estate there's just no need when he has a large garden out the back to play in.
As for walking to school, won't be an issue at any age. We live in the middle of nowhere and won't be able to walk to school from here. Although if we lived in walking distance I still would rather drop him off so I know he got there safely. I drive so it'd make sense.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I dont mean playing out as such but not walking to school alone! Imo that's a parents job to get the child to school on time and safely.

 

[sparkle_1979]

Finland is safer, finish friend tells me natsku, do you,think so? She said growing up she used to walk home at 11 and cook dinner, it was the norm, but here its not and she wouldn't allow her children to

I agree with midnight fairy, I don't think any child under 11 should be out alone where parents don't have an eye on them.. Someone here said they sometimes have to ask another mother in the street what house their kids are in... Sorry but to me that's insane I just couldn't not know for 1 min where my child was. This worlds just too scary

 

[Natsku]

Finland is safer but some parts of the UK are safer than some parts of Finland but it is a cultural difference I'm sure but even if I was in the UK I'd expect my children to walk to school alone if it was close by and they didn't have to cross a very busy road. I don't mind the roads here as they don't get very busy even on the main road but with so many parents driving their kids to school in the UK I imagine its a bit more dangerous for children to walk alone.

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont. I trust my oldest when he is playing and being supervised by neighbour but the land is so big here its not like an enclosed back garden so they have to be watched. Too many electric fences, tractors and the likes about in immediate area.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

Finland is safer, finish friend tells me natsku, do you,think so? She said growing up she used to walk home at 11 and cook dinner, it was the norm, but here its not and she wouldn't allow her children to

I agree with midnight fairy, I don't think any child under 11 should be out alone where parents don't have an eye on them.. Someone here said they sometimes have to ask another mother in the street what house their kids are in... Sorry but to me that's insane I just couldn't not know for 1 min where my child was. This worlds just too scary

I agree with this and midnight fairy. I wouldn't leave a child home alone either under secondary school age so to me this is no different.

I was looking just now at the NSPCC's website to see what the actual law state, while they don't have an actual age by law they do state as an example that a child out playing on the streets for a considerable period of time or wandering of where parents don't know where they are is unacceptable.

 

[Tasha]

Nats, it sounds different to here in that if people are working later than the school children then there wont be crazy ass commuters speeding along the roads trying to get some where like it is an emergency. I mean I take it there would be some cars about but not to the degree it is here.

My brother lives some where called Bagshot, it has a real village feel to it. The school is two or three roads away and all very quiet. I would probably let my older two go to school on their own at ten there but to me it just isn't safe for them where we are. The last school year I can think of at least three deaths of children between here and the school and about twenty more accidents involving pedestrians, including two where the lollipop lady has been hit

 

[Natsku]

Yeah traffic worries would definitely put me off if I lived near very busy roads or the school started or ended at commuting time but the traffic culture is very safe here, nobody crosses the road until the green man is showing (I get tutted at if I dare cross at the wrong time even if the road is completely empty!) and I haven't really seen any boy racer types around here, most drive sensibly. If that wasn't the case then I would think differently.

 

[littletobyj]

Nats, it sounds different to hear in that if people are working later than the school children then there wont be crazy ass commuters speeding along the roads trying to get some where like it is an emergency. I mean I take it there would be some cars about but not to the degree it is here.

My brother lives some where called Bagshot, it has a real village feel to it. The school is two or three roads away and all very quiet. I would probably let my older two go to school on their own at ten there but to me it just isn't safe for them where we are. The last school year I can think of at least three deaths of children between here and the school and about twenty more accidents involving pedestrians, including two where the lollipop lady has been hit

It's such a shame because I think more and more areas are becoming like that. It deters parents from even walking their own children to school because sometimes even the most road sensible pedestrians can be involved in accidents let alone school children.

The difference in cultures is interesting, I can't imagine it being socially acceptable here for children to come home and see to themselves before their parents get home from work but it obviously works in Finland as I am sure it does in other European countries and I'm guessing the children gain life experience.

 

[dgirllamius]

Seems like it's kind of the same here as it is in Finland, but usually the mum will stay at home until the child is of a certain age where they can just come home and stay there alone. I know so many people here where the mothers stay home and cook the dinner ready for when the child returns at either 12 or 1 (I don't know which it is).

I see so many kids of a young age in this town walking to school alone and it does baffle me, but my OH assures me that this is completely normal. I guess this town is rather safe but it's hard for me to judge when I have only been here 3 years.

People tend to drive a lot safer here too. I've yet to see a mad ass on the road (except for the occasional BMW on the motorway ).

A lot of kids here do seem independent of using public transport, too. I see loads of kids heading up and down from the school here (the secondary school is just up the road and the tram station is within a stones throw away) and they all independently use it. I guess I find it a bit odd as I was always driven to school (they were miles away and we lived in the middle of nowhere - you HAD to have a car to get anywhere).

I still stand my ground though, I don't care where I am - there are strange people about everywhere and not to mention stupid people on the road. Just because I don't see them doesn't mean they're not there. I guess for now I don't need to worry and maybe as time passes I will get to realise that I am in a safer place and that's just how Germans do things.

 

[Sarahkka]

Finland is safer, finish friend tells me natsku, do you,think so? She said growing up she used to walk home at 11 and cook dinner, it was the norm, but here its not and she wouldn't allow her children to

I agree with midnight fairy, I don't think any child under 11 should be out alone where parents don't have an eye on them.. Someone here said they sometimes have to ask another mother in the street what house their kids are in... Sorry but to me that's insane I just couldn't not know for 1 min where my child was. This worlds just too scary

I guess that goes back to that whole idea of perception of risk, though. While I understand wanting to know what your kids are up to, I don't find what you just described as terrifying at all. When I read that, I immediately think how great (and extra safe) it is that those kids have a neighbourhood full of trusted adults and the autonomy to move between houses. For me, that is a great example of just the right balance of adults keeping an eye out and kids having freedom to learn and develop.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I think in an ideal world that would be great, great for the kids and the parents. I just read and also hear first hand far too often of such awful things happening for me to ever be this relaxed. Sad but true.

 

[beth_terri]

Not for a lonnnggggggg time. My eldest is 4 next month but he has no stranger awareness. He's just too friendly! And I don't know how to teach him stranger awareness without making him think everyone's a bad person :/

People let their 3 year olds play out alone on my street though it breaks my heart!

I actually took a little girl home (to her house) last year. She was by her self wandering towards the field behind our houses. She had a dummy, was very small and quite wobbly on her legs. So I started chatting to her just asking if she was ok, where her mummy was etc. I literally thought she must have got out the house without her parents knowing. She showed me where her dad lived so I knocked on the door, no answer. I banged on the door and eventually he answered. I said 'I've just found this little one out on the street by her self, did you know she was out?'. And he just said yeah she's fine, laughed at me then took her in.

From then on I kept thinking, imagine if someone else approached that little girl

 

[sparkle_1979]

I'd have called ss