What If There Was No Formula?

[JASMAK]

https://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/breast_bottle_feeding.html#

 

[Jaylynne]

I am grateful for formula. LO was exclusively fed pumped breastmilk for over 7 months. Then he had a huge growth spurt after his tongue tie was cut and ate over 40oz a day. I couldn't pump that much so I used formula. He's done so well he gained close to 4lbs in a MONTH. He is so happy and playful so I can't be anything but happy that he's thriving. Breastmilk is great, but formula isn't the devil. Far from it.

 

[socitycourty]

My LO has been on specialized formula since she was 8 weeks old. Until that time she was EBF and utterly miserable, and so was I.

So, if there was no formula I'd have a suffering, unhappy baby here instead of a baby who has met milestones early, smiles and giggles all day, and loves her mommy regardless of what her boobs do.

And that stuff about USA hospitals being designed to discourage BF is completely insane bullshit. The hospital I gave birth in (if you don't believe this I'll tell you where) had the pushiest and rudest LC's and nurses who were grabbing my nipples every time they were in my room. I was not given free formula or coupons. My room was large enough for my husband to sleep there and my baby roomed in the entire time.

Who makes this stuff up? Honestly.

 

[socitycourty]

But on the other hand, since I had an EMCS (truly an emergency, BTW) I guess we shouldn't be here anyway.

 

[Jaylynne]

But on the other hand, since I had an EMCS (truly an emergency, BTW) I guess we shouldn't be here anyway.

This for me exactly. LO was born via emcs after a complete placenta abruption. If I wasn't in the hospital for a week already he would most likely have been dead in under 10 minutes and I would have bled out. I almost needed a hysterectomy as is.

I find in my experience some of the biggest bashers of formula and those ridiculously intolerant of people giving up bf have had rather normal birth experiences or at least nothing completely surprising. It irritates the hell out of me when someone thinks they can judge others when they really have no fucking clue about the entire situation or have never come close to walking in my shoes. It's just so easy to say breastfeeding is best. But that's not always the case.

I am very thankful I live in an age where there is a decent alternative to appropriately feed my child. And even more thankful that medical knowledge is enough to help in our circumstances.

 

[JASMAK]

But on the other hand, since I had an EMCS (truly an emergency, BTW) I guess we shouldn't be here anyway.

Huh?! What does this have to do with formula??? Or breastfeeding?

 

[Kage76]

Formula does save lives, but I think more women could breast feed if given PROPER advice and support.

you are probably right. But the NEED for formula wouldn't disappear. Like it or not you can have all the support and education till the cows come home- but there will be people who will need or want to formula feed.

 

[Foogirl]

Although I also think formula is acceptable, breastmilk is MUCH more than you described. It has many benefits for mother AND baby, into toddlerhood.

That's what we're supposed to think. But I've yet to see a properly conducted study, that's been extrapolated independently that bears this out. We don't have thousands and thousands of children who are formula fed, who go on to have poor immune systems, who failed to thrive as babies or who have long term health problems. We're supposed to believe breastmilk has magical powers and contains angel tears and unicorn farts, when the reality is, formula has been developed to a stage where it offers all of the same nutritional benefits. Breastmilk can provide a short term protection from bugs and stuff beyond the first weeks, but it isn't the mannah from heaven we're supposed to think it is.

 

[ShanandBoc]

 

[Tasha]

That's what we're supposed to think. But I've yet to see a properly conducted study, that's been extrapolated independently that bears this out. We don't have thousands and thousands of children who are formula fed, who go on to have poor immune systems, who failed to thrive as babies or who have long term health problems. We're supposed to believe breastmilk has magical powers and contains angel tears and unicorn farts, when the reality is, formula has been developed to a stage where it offers all of the same nutritional benefits. Breastmilk can provide a short term protection from bugs and stuff beyond the first weeks, but it isn't the mannah from heaven we're supposed to think it is.

I cant add anything to the debate right now but the bolded bit made me laugh

 

[Lina]

That's what we're supposed to think. But I've yet to see a properly conducted study, that's been extrapolated independently that bears this out. We don't have thousands and thousands of children who are formula fed, who go on to have poor immune systems, who failed to thrive as babies or who have long term health problems. We're supposed to believe breastmilk has magical powers and contains angel tears and unicorn farts, when the reality is, formula has been developed to a stage where it offers all of the same nutritional benefits. Breastmilk can provide a short term protection from bugs and stuff beyond the first weeks, but it isn't the mannah from heaven we're supposed to think it is.

I cant add anything to the debate right now but the bolded bit made me laugh

Though it also made me laugh I can't help but think this person has failed or struggled to bf and this casual downplaying of bf is some form of coping mechanism. The WHO strongly recommends exclusive bf for the first 6 months and then up to 2 years. If formula had as you say "same nutritional benefits", then why does the WHO fail to mention it along bf? The ingredients found in breastmilk are over 3 times that of formula with some yet undiscovered.

 

[socitycourty]

But on the other hand, since I had an EMCS (truly an emergency, BTW) I guess we shouldn't be here anyway.

Huh?! What does this have to do with formula??? Or breastfeeding?

this was another tangent some of the posts went off to.......since we couldn't birth vaginally and also ended up not BF we would gave been victims of natural selection

BTW I would never have been able to afford donor milk. And my mom or sister would never "relactate". Also I would not be comfortable using a random person's milk.

Formula is not the devil. For those wishing there was no formula, you'd be wishing a lot of babies dead. One day you could need formula. It could happen to anyone.

 

[Tasha]

this was another tangent some of the posts went off to.......since we couldn't birth vaginally and also ended up not BF we would gave been victims of natural selection

BTW I would never have been able to afford donor milk. And my mom or sister would never "relactate". Also I would not be comfortable using a random person's milk.

Formula is not the devil. For those wishing there was no formula, you'd be wishing a lot of babies dead. One day you could need formula. It could happen to anyone.

Remember though donor milk probably wouldnt cost very much if anything at all, in a society where there is no formula milk avaliable as the avaliablity of BM would be so much greater. It wouldnt be a rare thing to donate or take donated milk.

Also you are basing what your sister and Mum wouldnt do, and what you wouldnt be comfortable with on how things are now. Your Mum and sister wouldnt relactate and you wouldnt feel comfortable using a random persons milk, both of these are fine just think though if there had never been formula relactation or using a random person would be a social norm, so what we would and wouldnt do, what we are and arent comfortable with, would be different accordingly.

 

[socitycourty]

But this is our normal society now. It won't be changing any time soon, so why all of this debate? Some people BF for 4 years. Some people can't. It's a fact of life.

I don't want to be rude but I remember TheNewMrs from Baby Club, used formula before? It's just not that big of a deal and I'm so sick of BnB being there to remind me I'm a shit parent in some way or another. If it wasn't BF it would be something else

 

[summer rain]

Yes TheNewMrs switched completely to FF then relactated, something she hasn't hidden or denied? Xx

 

[Liesje]

Not sure if this has been coved yet in this thread (I don't have time to read through the whole thing) but babies can and are weaned at birth so they don't instantly die if they're not breastfed or given formula.
Curiously, I know 3 people in my life who are members of Mensa and all of them were weaned at birth. I'm sure it's all coincidence and I'm certainly not suggesting weaning at birth i beneficial, but there are options other than death if breastmilk or formula weren't available.
Babies can also be given milk from other mammals (I know it's not recommended but it can work).

 

[socitycourty]

I just don't understand what the big deal is.

Most people I knew around my age were FF from birth. I don't know one person who is stupid, sickly or morbidly obese.

I was FF. I read early, walked early, talked early and my mom never gave it a second thought and I'm guessing most people's mothers didn't either. BF really does not give a baby this huge advantage and FF does not make babies sickly, fat, stupid or other things people like to say. People used to feed babies different unhealthy things when they could not BF and our race still managed to survive.

My point about her using formula is that it's unfair to wish these things for other people when you know nothing about them or their situation, many people use formula once they've tried to BF, it's like if you don't make these outlandish attempts you are just a bad mother to begin with.

My BIL had a coworker who attempted (and was almost successful) suicide because she could not BF. I can't imagine why someone would be driven that far if not for all this unneeded pressure by society. Her baby was 5 weeks old. She was to the point that she thought it better to leave her baby motherless than to not BF her.

If I have another baby, I would like to Bf long term. If it doesn't work out or he/she has the same issues (which I was told might be likely) I'm not going to drive myself insane again. That's a personal choice, right? Not wishing to spend any portion of my child's life feeling awful and watching him or her feel awful. I don't see how any mother could think that's "ok" or "easy" for another woman.

 

[Tasha]

But this is our normal society now. It won't be changing any time soon, so why all of this debate? Some people BF for 4 years. Some people can't. It's a fact of life.

I don't want to be rude but I remember TheNewMrs from Baby Club, used formula before? It's just not that big of a deal and I'm so sick of BnB being there to remind me I'm a shit parent in some way or another. If it wasn't BF it would be something else

Because this is the debate part of the forum, and it is interesting to think of life in a different way or things we hadnt considered before.

I dont think whether she FF, BF or used donated milk (or in this case as SR says relactated) matters she just started an (IMO) interesting debate.

The way you feed your baby doesnt make you a shit parent. I dont think any thing in this thread has suggested that it does.

 

[socitycourty]

But this is our normal society now. It won't be changing any time soon, so why all of this debate? Some people BF for 4 years. Some people can't. It's a fact of life.

I don't want to be rude but I remember TheNewMrs from Baby Club, used formula before? It's just not that big of a deal and I'm so sick of BnB being there to remind me I'm a shit parent in some way or another. If it wasn't BF it would be something else

Because this is the debate part of the forum, and it is interesting to think of life in a different way or things we hadnt considered before.

I dont think whether she FF, BF or used donated milk (or in this case as SR says relactated) matters she just started an (IMO) interesting debate.

The way you feed your baby doesnt make you a shit parent. I dont think any thing in this thread has suggested that it does.

It's maybe not intentionally meant to, but it does. Many times FF ladies are bashed by what appears to be the majority-BF ladies. This is not just the case on BnB. It is also the case IRL for lots of people.

Debates are definitely interesting and fun. But BF v FF is very emotional for people. Not usually for people who FF by choice but for people who could not BF and still carry lots of shame and guilt, some of the things being said here can cut very deeply. This is true for Baby Club and other areas of the forum as well. If someone said (and this is purely hypothetical) that a woman was strange for BF her 5 year old, what would the reaction be? That person would probably be hounded out of here. So it's perfectly good for opinions to be expressed freely but they can and often are hurtful

And also reading FF v Bf debates sometimes makes me feel badly about myself since I was FF for my first year and I'm not stupid or fat or whatever but I feel like there's an assumption that I would be purely because I was a FF baby. that is not right either

 

[Liesje]

But this is our normal society now. It won't be changing any time soon, so why all of this debate? Some people BF for 4 years. Some people can't. It's a fact of life.

I don't want to be rude but I remember TheNewMrs from Baby Club, used formula before? It's just not that big of a deal and I'm so sick of BnB being there to remind me I'm a shit parent in some way or another. If it wasn't BF it would be something else

Because this is the debate part of the forum, and it is interesting to think of life in a different way or things we hadnt considered before.

I dont think whether she FF, BF or used donated milk (or in this case as SR says relactated) matters she just started an (IMO) interesting debate.

The way you feed your baby doesnt make you a shit parent. I dont think any thing in this thread has suggested that it does.

It's maybe not intentionally meant to, but it does. Many times FF ladies are bashed by what appears to be the majority-BF ladies. This is not just the case on BnB. It is also the case IRL for lots of people.

Debates are definitely interesting and fun. But BF v FF is very emotional for people. Not usually for people who FF by choice but for people who could not BF and still carry lots of shame and guilt, some of the things being said here can cut very deeply. This is true for Baby Club and other areas of the forum as well. If someone said (and this is purely hypothetical) that a woman was strange for BF her 5 year old, what would the reaction be? That person would probably be hounded out of here. So it's perfectly good for opinions to be expressed freely but they can and often are hurtful

And also reading FF v Bf debates sometimes makes me feel badly about myself since I was FF for my first year and I'm not stupid or fat or whatever but I feel like there's an assumption that I would be purely because I was a FF baby. that is not right either

What makes me feel better about giving my baby formula (mine wasn't FF by choice either if anyone cares lol) is that most of the children and adults I wouldn't mind my children being like are also formula fed. It's the ones who were breastfed that are kind of warped and deficient (and obese!) so it helps me to know my son might not be completely doomed because he had formula.
While there are so many studies being done on this and that, someone should do one on how much PPD is caused by all this unessesary lactivism propaganda.