What would you do? Advice needed

Discussion in 'Kids & Teenagers' started by HLx, Feb 13, 2020 at 7:00 AM.

  1. HLx

    HLx Mummy to Layla, George & Enzo <3

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    I need to ask for opinions on this as I cant talk to family as it is about family (sort of) I'll keep this sweet.

    What would you do if you bend over backwards for someone else's kids birthday/christmas presents making a big effort but yet your child doesnt even recieve a birthday card, I'm not even talking about a present here... a birthday card that costs less than a pound these days? Knowing if you take it up with them they will say they've been caught up in something lately, yet attended another childs birthday party that same week, obviously bought them a card, but not my daughter that they see as their own family?

    I would have just said sod it, fuck them in the nicest possible way, but for my 8 year old to notice she didn't even recieve a birthday card from them and made her question whether they even like her anymore, broke me, I'm not sleeping and I'm stewing over how to address this, I've spoken to my partner and he knows I'm upset about it, but as it regards someone on his side of the family, someone I was close with, well once upon a time by the sounds of it, he couldn't say much, he felt a bit embarrassed I think, but it's not his fault.

    What would you do about this or address it? Do I do what I normally do, just ignore the matter and just not make an effort for their kids anymore, and prove a point or should I just be out right straight with them, which will probably cause I big argument because I dont do things small, i go all out if somethings bothering me
     
  2. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to 2 Princess and 1 Prince

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    Ohh I can’t totally relate to your post ! I have the same issue, least amount of effort made possible but other kids in the family get spoilt rotten ! It’s so annoying!

    Such a shame if your DD has noticed too that would annoy and upset me even more !
    I just wouldn’t do for their kids anymore , I know that may feel sly on the kid but yours deserve the same level of respect and attention you give to other people’s kids.no excuse for it especially if they attended another kids party and like you said would have got a card and gift .

    When it comes around to their kids birthday and they realise you haven’t bothered if they raise issue then say you didn’t bother Layla’s Birthday so I didn’t think we were doing them anymore . That’s it.

    That’s what I do now , you don’t do for mine then I won’t do for yours !.
     
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  3. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Mom to 4

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    My mom is like this. She will get my brothers kids all kinds of cards and gifts. Go to their stuff. Mine? Nope. Nothing. Same genders and ages but mine get nothing. My kids noticed but I tell the truth. It's just the way she is, has been and will be. Now at teens, they know not to expect anything.
     
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  4. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to 2 Princess and 1 Prince

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    How do you deal with her ? .
     
  5. HLx

    HLx Mummy to Layla, George & Enzo <3

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    Thank you both so very much! Both very very helpful! My only problem is, if I dont buy her kids a card, my partner will as it's his nieces, and to save the drama because they are the only family he has around here, he will end up writing our names on the card anyway, I dont want to argue with my partner about it because it's not his fault, but when I mentioned it to him he literally didn't know what to say, I just thought it's so unfair, I've spent so much on the other kids, and layla didn't even recieve a card that costs next to nothing, layla didn't even get a happy birthday text or phone call from them, Instead, they commented on my Instagram and said happy birthday on there where layla cant even see it, I'm so done with it honestly I'm itching to message her and put it to her bluntly :haha:
     
  6. AngelUK

    AngelUK Mum of twin boys

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    HLx is that cause Layla is not your partner's kid and they feel she isn't part of their family? If so, doubly mean. I think I would ask your partner to say something as it then up to him to tell his family that she IS part of the family. Such a man thing not to though, isn't it.
     
  7. HLx

    HLx Mummy to Layla, George & Enzo <3

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    I dont think so hun they've always bought the kids birthday and christmas presents before now, we all treat each other the same, and they *did* used to treat the kids as family and always made a fuss of them, not sure why its stopped all of a sudden?
     
  8. Scout

    Scout Well-Known Member

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    If my child noticed, then I'd have to say something. I hate drama or confrontation, so I'd keep it nice (talking about myself here; not saying how you should handle it as you know best how to deal with your family), but I'd definitely let her know that dd was hurt and is now questioning whether they like her. Sorry this happened.
     
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