What would you do?

[anita123]

Hi ladies, I'm just wondering what you would do if you were in my situation? My fil emailed my husband today to ask if him and 2 daughter's would consider going to England for mil 60th birthday! Thing is her birthday is 3 weeks before my due date with baby 3. I personally think it's too close to my due date for me to be left on my own in case anything was to happen and I'm feeling like it's a bit selfish of fil to expect them to go and leave me at that stage. Just wondering if I'm being out of order not wanting them to go?!
Sorry it's so long x

 

[kewpie]

Hey Anita, I would also be a bit hesitant about being left alone so close to due date. But it depends how far and for how long - it says on your bio that you live in Manchester, assuming that is the US Manchester not the one in the UK? Otherwise if it's within the same country then it would be a different story!

 

[housewifey]

It’s difficult tbh, I can see where your coming from but it would depend on how far away it was and for how long?

Say you did happen to go into labour whilst he was away, he’s just have to jump straight in the car no matter what time and hope he makes it on time. Not an ideal situation but if he’s only going 1 or 2 nights it’s unlikely to fall on that day, especially it being 3 weeks before due date.

Deffo put him on an alcohol ban though!

 

[Juliet11]

we had a cruise booked in march. and i got pregnant and would be 36-37 weeks along so cant go on the cruise. we discussed hubby going with the two older kids (his family will also be on the cruise), and the 2 year old staying home with me.... but since they would be in mexico, we are in California and it would be a nightmare to get them all back in case i went into labor early or had an emergency... so for now we have decided to cancel the cruise when i am a bit further a long.
how far would your hubby be away? i think that would be the biggest factor.. how far and how accessible to get back...

 

[anita123]

Thanks for your replies ladies. I'm living in Ireland now (forgot to change location) and he would be going to Manchester UK. He would be going on a friday and back on the Sunday. I know what his family are like when they go out and would make him have a drink even though he would have the girls and this is something that would stress me out worrying about them! Plus nobody has a car that would fit the 2 car seats and hubby in the back of it. I just feel selfish myself for saying I'd rather they were with me but I don't think I'd need the extra stress and worry at that time!

 

[anita123]

how far would your hubby be away? i think that would be the biggest factor.. how far and how accessible to get back...

He would be a 2 hour drive away from our home and then a 45 min flight but I know how akward it would be trying to get a flight back at short notice and my labours always progress very quickly!

 

[Myshelsong]

Shoot that is a tough one. A part of me would want them to stay and another would want them to go because 60th is a big Birthday.
Would you be fine if they changed it for after your due date and you stay home with baby by yourself, or are you thinking no trips for the next while?
Can you have one of your friends or family to stay with you while your hubs is away?
I honestly don't know what I would do.

 

[Natasha2605]

I don't see the issue personally. It's for such a short amount of time and at 36-37 weeks the chances of labour coming on randomly are still pretty slim. If it was a longer distance away I'd have reservations about it but not in this situation.

 

[Juliet11]

although unlikely anything would happen, unless there's a concern for early delivery, i am still in favor of the mum having low stress/worry.

 

[Reiko_ctu]

Have you delivered babies that early before? If not I wouldn't worry about it and let them go. Otherwise, really we could go into labour at anytime during our pregnancy and we'd never be safe to be alone! I remember being worried about going on a babymoon at 36+5... brought my hospital bag along and all. Well I kept that baby in to 41 weeks, I would've felt pretty silly if I canceled!

 

[MindUtopia]

Definitely not. I had my first at 37 weeks with absolutely no signs labour was imminent. Felt perfectly normal and then bam, 11 hours later she was born. Could he go a bit earlier to spend some time with them, or could you all go once baby arrives?

 

[Katia-xO]

If it was for say a weekend I'd absolutely let them go! I'd have some time alone before labour and then wouldn't have to travel to them with a small baby afterwards as they'd only just been over to see them

Silver linings and all that.

I absolutely get your worries though, I worry about my in laws and their lax (to me) car seat views when they have my dd as it is, it's scaring me before my second is here as to how I'll cope if they want to take both out far far in the future. Normal mum worries I'm sure as you want your babies safe!

Do whatever you're comfortable with and stick by your decision, you're the mama!

 

[Lunabelle]

i would definitely not want to be left at that point anymore. My first baby arrived at 36+6 and anyways moving was hard and I felt so sick!

But I was induced due to problems in the pregnancy. Other women are still excercising and feel fine on their due date. How are you feeling and how have your previous pregnancies been? If you have previously progressed quickly and this is your third, the baby is likely to come out very quickly and there is a chance he would miss the labour.

I agree with mindutopia, would he be able to go a little earlier?

 

[Berri]

I'd be happy to let them go and have a bit of peace and quiet but that's just me I suppose. So long as I had someone I could bring with me to delivery if hubby didn't make it back (e.g. sister/friend) I'd be ok with it.... As it was with #2, hubby was a 15 minute drive from the hospital and still nearly missed it!

 

[jessmke]

I personally wouldn't have a problem with it. My OH went on a 4 day fishing trip when I was 36/37 weeks pregnant with our second. He made sure they went somewhere that was only 3 hours away, where he had cell service, and he didn't drink the whole time he was gone. If I went into labour and it progressed quickly then I would have just had a home birth so I wouldn't have needed to have anyone drive me to the hospital. I ended up going 8 days overdue and not having the baby until a month after the fishing trip.

 

[kirstybumx3]

I had similar. Well kind of but OH was only 2 hours away. He went away for the weekend, something he does every year with friends to a big bowls event. He nearly didn’t go but I promised as soon as I felt anything I’d contact him and he would head back. I would’ve felt terrible had he not gone.
60th birthday is a big thing for his mum I guess and she wants her son to celebrate with her. Ireland to UK, it’s not like it’s days away he could get back fairly quickly in an emergency. I’d be inclined to say go.
I did actually go into labour the day that my OH came back lol, but that’s not saying it’ll happen to you of course. I was over 39 weeks.
Do what you feel comfortable with but look at it from everyone’s point of view. What does your husband want to do?

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Personally I feel more strange about your lack of invite than I do about how close it is to your due date. I wouldn't want to be left alone for a weekend at that late stage.

I also see your fears about them making him drink and the car seat issues. I'd probably say let him go, but leave your older 2 with you. It might be harder for you tiredness wise, but at least you wouldn't be worrying about your girls and your hubby could have a nice time for his mums birthday.
But frankly it's not ideal and not a nice situation for your FIL to put you all in.

 

[laura109]

Ahh I would not want him to leave at that point. It's bad enough oh family want to all meet up at mine (halfway point) 12 days before my due date. It's not ideal to not have someone on standby who's your birthing partner for the last month. I think babies are unpredictable and obviously they can be born between 37 to 42 weeks at anytime if they go full term x

 

[6lilpigs]

I was also wondering if you were invited? If so I would go, bring my notes and have a nice time If not, then I would let them go, he would get back as soon as needed I'm sure, and the chances of going early are pretty slim, GL