Whats going on

[leeanne]

I agree with Leanne!!

I am forever watching young girls on Maury who once are given a baby to look after for a while, buck up their ideas and realise its best to wait.

I must admit i wanted a baby when i was about 14 but the thing about wanting love is right, i was so hurt by not having a dad around i felt a baby would compensate, now i thank my lucky stars that i threw myself into a career and waited until i was at least a bit older

When I was about 21 I went through a tough period of time and was kind of lonely and started brooding over a baby. The period of time went quick though. LOL I put it down to wanting a person to love me. This is why I can see why teens want to have a baby at a young age...they are truly missing out on love and affection.

I've said this before, but will again. If my daughter came to me while she was in her teens saying that she wanted a baby I would blame myself. Did I not give her love and affection that she required?

 

[codiontour]

im 25, DH is 29 with 3 degrees between us, own a house, 2 cars and both have great jobs... we still dont feel ready!!!

 

[meg]

its no coincedence that the UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate, and the easiest way to get a coucil house/benefits is to be pregnant.

my mum ended up homeless 6 months ago, has lived and worked here since she was born, and cant get a council house because she is not a 'priority'.

its a disgrace - we should take the lead of countries like sweden etc - if someone gets pregnant young, they are given to their parents, and they are their responsibility. no benefits, no houses, no free ride. 'trying' to conceive at such a young age and getting a free house and free money is not teaching our youth responsibility - its teaching them that this is an easy way out.

and I agree with the person who said its NOT each to their own - not when everyone else has to pay for it and they get everything handed to them on a plate!

phew - rant! but it's something that I feel strongly about

 

[maddiwatts19]

Im 19 and my fiance is nearly 21 and we're TTC...but we know that thjis is right, and that we can and WILL look after our baby right...
When i was 14, i had a boyfriend but i would never have dreamed of having sex or having a baby...
why do kids this young want to gow up so fast...i mean the ones that are perposuly getting pregnant??
I know teenage mums whos babies were accidents, and they are fantastic mums, but on the flip side, i know some who are completely irresponsible and even put wholes in the condoms or 'forgot their pill' just to get a house or trap their bf cos they are scared of loosing them...
in my personal opinion, the teenage mums who purposely tried to get pregnant are worse mums than the ones whos babies were accidents.
but as others have said, can you ever be financially ready for a baby??
my old media teachers ex wife is a teacher, and she said that they have 12 year olds that are sexually active...it really is frightening...

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

i agree tryin for a baby at such a young age is stupid etc.
but i don't understand why like leanne said, she would feel responsible for her child gettin pregnant at a young age but did it not occur to everyone that the mother of a child is not the one tellin the child to go an get pregnant?
i am 16 + pregnant, my baby was a mistake yeh but i don't regret keeping him one bit but seein my mum blame herself for me endin up in this situation hurts because she never forced me an adam to act stupid + not be careful enough to not end up with a baby in the end.
if 14 year olds thinkin that them pregnant will get them a council house + benefits, wel then they are stupid an provin there immature because at that age even my age cannot get priority on a council house/flat an have to wait there turn like everyone elsean they will not be the ones gettin the benefits either it will be there parents.

 

[leedsforever]

I know Im not in your situation Rachel but young, single parents do get priority, over older generation!!
I cant comment on 14 year olds benefits going to their parents because I didnt know that but Im sure if they were declared homeless they wouldnt be seen on the streets!!
Im 22 and so many girls in my year already have babies, they are single (or so they tell the social), have lavish apartments and have it sooo easy where money is concerned!!! Is a proven fact that whatever age you are and "single" you are better off than a working class couple!! This is what we mean about the government getting it so wrong!! Girls see this and see that having a baby is actually quite appealing!!
However I am not stereotyping that all young mums behave in this way but as mentioned before we have the highest rate of teenage pregnancy and the government wonder why?!?! they should look at their system!!!

 

[lfc_sarah]

but i don't understand why like leanne said, she would feel responsible for her child gettin pregnant at a young age but did it not occur to everyone that the mother of a child is not the one tellin the child to go an get pregnant?
i am 16 + pregnant, my baby was a mistake yeh but i don't regret keeping him one bit but seein my mum blame herself for me endin up in this situation hurts because she never forced me an adam to act stupid + not be careful enough to not end up with a baby in the end.

I think Leanne was reffering to the teens TRYING for a baby..

For teens who fall pregnant when it isnt planned, i dont think she would blame herself?
But the majority of those teens who are TRYING to get pregnant.. they are looking for the love they dont get...

So i can see what Leanne is saying... if i got that right?

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Yeh i didn't read it the way she meant it to sound. i only went on personall situations + what i've experienced through the council etc.
i know for a fact its wrong for a 14 year old to be TRYIN for a baby but it's not our life, its theirs + they may live to regret it or they may live to love it what ever way it goes, its their lifes but everyone has their own opinion.
this topic has really hit everyone hard in different ways because of the way they personally see things.
xx

 

[Pyrrhic]

but it's not our life, its theirs

It's not their life though, is it? It's their lives, their parents lives, and their child's life. They are still children themselves.

 

[leedsforever]

It's not their life though, is it? It's their lives, their parents lives, and their child's life. They are still children themselves.

totally agree!!

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

suppose...

i'l leave the discussion to everyone else because its a touchy subject for everyone an i don't want to say something to either offend or upset anyone x

 

[marley2580]

My sister had her son at 19 and applied for housing while pregnant. She was homeless and sleeping on people's couches. They finally offered her a house the day she went into labour! She was forced to deal with a huge amount of stress which was not good for her or the baby. Just because you're young and pregnant does not mean that you will be offered a house quickly.

By the way, she's a fab mum.

 

[nikky0907]

It's not their life though, is it? It's their lives, their parents lives, and their child's life. They are still children themselves.

Totally agree! I have loads to say on this subject but I posted way too much already on it...

 

[ella170]

its no coincedence that the UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate, and the easiest way to get a coucil house/benefits is to be pregnant.

my mum ended up homeless 6 months ago, has lived and worked here since she was born, and cant get a council house because she is not a 'priority'.

its a disgrace - we should take the lead of countries like sweden etc - if someone gets pregnant young, they are given to their parents, and they are their responsibility. no benefits, no houses, no free ride. 'trying' to conceive at such a young age and getting a free house and free money is not teaching our youth responsibility - its teaching them that this is an easy way out.

and I agree with the person who said its NOT each to their own - not when everyone else has to pay for it and they get everything handed to them on a plate!

phew - rant! but it's something that I feel strongly about

what about teenagers who have unplanned pregnancies- is this also included?
u might aswell say 'why should taxpayers have to pay for anyone to live in a council house?' its not just teen mums who get priority over council houses-u sometimes read in the paper about all kinds of people who are living off the taxpayers' money. i thought that was a bit harsh to blame the fact that ur mum cant get a council house on teen mums only, when i hear alot of people complaining about other groups of people that are also priority.
pregnancy is not a 'free ride' for anyone, no matter how well off they are.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I agree too. I wasn't ttc, my pregnancy was a total, yet fabulous, accident. At 13/14, I don't think I even knew what sex was!! I think maybe they like the thought of a baby, house, boyfriend, basically 'growing up' but at such a young age they're children themselves and I don't think they realise that having a baby isn't all fun and games like playing 'house'. It comes with an awful lot of responsibility and maturity which I don't think at 14 you have.
However if that's what they want, then each to their own

 

[leeanne]

I think Leanne was reffering to the teens TRYING for a baby..

For teens who fall pregnant when it isnt planned, i dont think she would blame herself?
But the majority of those teens who are TRYING to get pregnant.. they are looking for the love they dont get...

So i can see what Leanne is saying... if i got that right?

You are very correct! If one follows my two posts they were about teens planning pregnancies, not teens that fell pregnant accidentally.

 

[meg]

what about teenagers who have unplanned pregnancies- is this also included?
u might aswell say 'why should taxpayers have to pay for anyone to live in a council house?' its not just teen mums who get priority over council houses-u sometimes read in the paper about all kinds of people who are living off the taxpayers' money. i thought that was a bit harsh to blame the fact that ur mum cant get a council house on teen mums only, when i hear alot of people complaining about other groups of people that are also priority.
pregnancy is not a 'free ride' for anyone, no matter how well off they are.

I wasn't blaming the fact that my mum not getting a council house on teen mums, I was just using the situation to illustrate a point - and yes, you are correct, there are other groups of people who are priority when they shouldn't be.

And about 'unplanned' teenage pregnancies - i know a few people who have been in this situation, and know that there are many people on this forum in this situation - its unfortunate, and I know a lot of girls get thrown out of homes etc, but the system is set up so it is easy for parents to do this, to not support their children when it should be their responsibility to look after them - as opposed to others who have chosen not to have children, or to have sex responsibly. Accidents do happen, but if i crash my car into someone, i pay for it (or the insurance that i have paid for, pays for it)

I'm not trying to put anyone down here, just stating my opinion. merci.

 

[Wobbles]

OK - not again girls on this thread pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee

x

 

[meg]

lol....im done wobbles - just cant help but put my point across if its something I feel strongly about, i wasn't trying to offend anyone

 

[Wobbles]

lol its ok!

There was another thread that got out of hand today is all so some of the other girls know what I mean Hence the not 'again' & a small beg