When can we relax and be happy?

[Stepmomtobio]

So there are the women who get the bfp and think "I'm having a baby". Then there are us women who have experienced a loss and get our bfp and freak out. We worry about a reoccurrence. So when can we relax? When can we be happy? It's such an amazing time but we worry about hcg levels, heart beats and spotting. And nothing will change that, so it sucks.
I try to think "what's meant to be" but that doesn't work after a loss. Abd I've been told just because you lost one doesn't mean it will happen again, but I just think, yeah it can.
So until you are holding your beautiful miracle in your arms, vent, talk to others, and try to stay positive for your health and the health of your growing baby. Good luck to all of you!

 

[shirlls]

Absolutely! Everything you say is so true. I wish I could just relax and enjoy my pregnancy but I can't stop worrying and just be happy and excited. Having had losses takes al the innocence and excitement out of being pregnant, what should be one of the most exciting time of our lives . I am almost 12 weeks but I don't think I can relax until I am holding my baby in my arms which I pray does happen.

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy

xxxx

 

[Jox]

Unfortuntely there is never a time to relax. I lost my son at 36 weeks so until my baby is safe and alive in my arms i will never stop worrying... even then the worry doesnt end tho does it xxx

 

[robbo1]

Everything you say is so so true I'm almost 12 weeks now and feel like 6 months to go is like mission impossible, every day is an eternity. I feel like people think I should be excited and not really want to still talk about my angels but they still very important to all of us aren't they? Xx

 

[mamabearjen]

Im 21 weeks now lost my son at 32 weeks he was born alive but only lived for an hour...I wont feel safe and happy until im leaving the hospital with her. My husband just says "shes fine dont worry so much" but for me thats all I do is worry. It has been 4 weeks since my last scan and im so anxious for the next one. with my son I knew at 20weeks he wasnt going to make it and I had to pack up all the furniture and give away the clothes and things. this time I cant stop shopping...and everytime in the back of my mind I think "I hope I get to use this" it sad but our reality! hang in there and remember to rejoice the moments you can and be proud your a mommy and get to worry about a little creation in your belly! (I KNOW easier said than done)

 

[Coolka]

I'm so with you. Had a msc in October, now 13 weeks pregnant and even though I saw the bouncing baby on the screen I still can't relax. I'm looking for signs that something goes wrong and trying to prepare myself for the worst. I wish I could enjoy this pregnancy but I'm just scared it's going to end too soon.

 

[MKHewson]

I understand completely how you feel, I am here now 6 weeks...feel cramping, trying not to assume the worst. I wish I could fast track to 12 weeks, and have a scan and know that everything is okay. It seems so unfair that I cant dare take moment to be excited.

 

[cb1]

I agree, wont be able to relax until this baby is here - and even as I type that I'm thinking "if this pregnancy is successful". With my first pregnancy it didn't even occur to me to be worried, and I'd love to feel like that again. After my son was born my second pregnancy was a mmc that was picked up on a scan at 8 weeks (had ended at 6 weeks), during my next pregnancy we had a scan at 7 weeks that showed a heartbeat and were thrilled that everything seemed to be ok, and allowed ourselves to get excited again. That pregnancy ended a few weeks later as a mmc again which had failed at just over 9 weeks. I don't dare feel excited about things this time around, and am planning to take each day as it comes and pray for a positive outcome.

Sorry for sounding so pessimistic, and wish for the best outcome for everyone reading this! Xxx

 

[wookie130]

I just got my BFP on Thursday, so I'm just a hair over 4 weeks. I had a mmc last July (@ 10 weeks, baby didn't make it beyond 6 weeks)...and I'm terrified. DH and I had such problems TTC this time around, I can't imagine losing this child, and having to get back on that saddle again. I do feel different this time around...my boobs are KILLING me, I've already had some nausea, gassy as hell, and different pressure in my uterus. It does feel differently from my first pregnancy. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, and I'm certainly not naive enough to believe I'll be out of the woods any time soon. Really, you can only feel safe when the baby arrives, healthy, and laying in our arms. It's frustrating, scary, and sad all at once.

 

[Hellylou]

I'm the same. I lost my baby boy at 16 weeks in September and I'm now just over half way to that stage. I have already had a scare with early spotting at 5/6 weeks and it's impossible to relax. I can't talk about 'when', only 'if' and it's so sad. I can only say 'fingers crossed', and 'hopefully' instead of feeling positive. I honestly don't know at what stage I will relax, if at all during this. Having a particularly low day today too...

 

[Elhaym]

I know just what you mean. I'm almost 7 weeks and my last baby passed away at 8 weeks (mmc found at 12 week scan) so I am terrified I am going to lose my symptoms again soon. I am hoping if I pass 8 weeks and still feel 'pregnant' I won't worry as much but I bet I do! Then of course it's the 12 week scan which I am terrified of and want to cry just thinking about it.

I'd like to think after the 12 week scan if baby is OK I can start to relax and maybe actually start to plan ahead, think about buying things etc.... but I can't see the worries stopping. I just keep hanging on to the fact that I feel AWFUL this time around and have had every possible symptom, whereas last time I had hardly any symptoms and the ones I did have stopped completely at 8 weeks.

Just so glad we have this forum and each other for support, it really helps to know others understand, I'm sending every one of you a big hug x

 

[Mynxie]

i'm calmer now that I'm 7 weeks today (usually MC in the 6th week) and my symptoms are strong. I've booked a private scan for next week though. Just to put my mind at rest that baby is where they should be and with a heartbeat. I think I'll calm down alot more after my dating scan though. Last dating scan, I found out I'd had a MMC. Dreading going into the scan rooms though.

 

[EMC0528]

I was a wreck before the 12 week mark, I still am some days but it has gotten a little easier. If I feel the slightest pain I call the doc or the hospital. Even at my regular check ups I get nervous when they listen to the heart beat. The nurse asked me if I was ok at the last one because I get so stressed that it's not gonna be there....

I don't think we ever leave it totally in the past, but in my experience it does get a bit easier as you go on.

 

[MKHewson]

I had my early scan today, I am confirmed 7w1d, healthy HB132. So excited