When does "motherhood" start?

[everdreaming]

I felt like a mom when I could feel my daughter move. It was more real for me and I started to develop a relationship with her. I would pat her bottom in utero (She always shoved it under my ribs and it stuck way out) to sooth her. It still works.

My daughter was born the end of January, she was 3 weeks when she had her first Valentines Day. I got her a card, because I'm sentimental and that's just what I do. I signed it "M" because I felt so WEIRD calling myself "Mom."

It's like when you get married and you say "husband" for the first few times. The label is odd, but it does not change how you feel.

If you do not get a Mothers Day card, consider buying one for your baby and writing him/her a note explaining why this card spoke to you, how being a mom makes you feel, and how these words helped to capture the kind of mom you aspire to be for your little one. This day is to celebrate the greatest bond that you will ever have with anyone, you have the right to celebrate that as well.

That's a really beautiful idea I think I'll do that!!

I'm grateful for all your replies, on both sides

 

[ericacaca]

I think from conception too. But I wouldn't expect a card, neither would I get a Father's Day card for my hubby...

But the funny thing is I bought a Father's Day card for hubby at that time to give to him when baby was actually born. Hubby did the same thing for me and saved the card for when Oz was born too! Lovely xxx

 

[minties]

I didn't feel like a mum until they were born. I also would say to someone who had a positive pregnancy test "you're going to be a mother, congratulations". Not "you are now a mother". That's just how I view it.

 

[sprite30]

I think Mother's Day in specific is a tough one, I think i would appreciate the gesture of a card on Mother's Day while being pregnant as it acknowledges the fact that you will be a mother. They have all kinds of cards for aunts and other women in your life that it really isn't fair to label a women a mother or not a mother. I'm an aunt, a daughter, I care. It's not gonna kill you to get me a card. And while I do think it is incredibly rude for your own mother to tell you your not a mother until you have a living baby in your arms, I also would not put it passed my own mother to say that. Because she's slightly selfish.

I'll just buy myself a card that way I don't feel left out lol

 

[m.knight]

I don't think you're a Mother til your baby is here and I would certainly find it weird to get a card on Mother's Day if I was still pregnant. But each to their own and were all entitled to our own opinions, I don't think there is a right or a wrong here.

That said, my baby will be here by Mother's Day so DH has been informed that it is fully down to him to organise something special for me!

 

[patch2006uk]

For me, it's when they're born (alive). My son, who lives here with me, whom I look after day in, day out, whose tears I dry and whose hands hold mine - I'm his mother.

My stillborn son, he's like my 'would have been'. The sadness is that I don't get to be his mother - don't get to wipe those tears and hold those hands. He's my son, but I can't be his mother.

 

[curlykate]

I think it's different for each mother.
Like, I feel like a mom of two, despite only being 10 weeks pregnant. Therefore, I AM a mother of two.
My SIL is 22 weeks pregnant with her first. I asked her, and she doesn't feel like a mother yet, and likely won't until the baby is born. Therefore, she is not a mother yet. (Even though in my mind, she is, kwim?)
We each view it a different way, and neither way is incorrect.

 

[kaylacrouch93]

IMO from the time i see that little + sign on a pregnanct test or two pink lines or "Pregnant" hehe i took a lot of tests! You are a mother and its kinda rude for her to say your not :/

 

[moomin_troll]

I wouldn't expect a card before baby is born. I would personally prefer something from my child, a scribble or hand print in a card, rather then someone just buying me a card while pregnant.

 

[1stTimeOct.12]

I read the best quote the other day.

"When the child is born, so is the mother. Before then she never existed. The woman, yes. But the mother, never. The mother is something entirely new."

 

[MummyToAmberx]

For me, i didnt become a mum until i birthed my first baby.
I wouldnt expect a card on mothers day if i was still pregnant. x

 

[magicwhisper]

For me i became a mum as soon as i first saw her heartbeat. I wouldn't want a mothers day card until I was in 3rd trimester though. When you can feel/see him/her move.

I wouldn't expect one until my little girl is here. Now that she is due in a few weeks it would be nice to get one though

 

[phoenix333]

I'd say "motherhood" starts as soon as you find out. You feel and are responsible for the baby from then on.

I got a mothers day card when I was pregnant. OH had written:

"To Mummy, even though I'm not here yet, I still love you very much and can't wait to see you and give you a big cuddle, love from bump"

I didn't expect one but I thought it was very sweet & thoughtful.