When is too old?

[LynnieH]

I've just been talking to my mum and she's just reminded me that between the ages of 19 and 24 I was adamant I was never going to have children. How things have changed, I now have two kids and am the image of the stereo typical family.

I guess i just wasn't ready at the time.

 

[Minxy]

Minxy how old are you if it's ok to ask?

I'm just 30 but have always felt young for my age. I was always the baby at school (late August birthday) and got on better with younger kids. Even OH is 27!

I 'see' mums on here in their teens and early 20's doing such a fab job and I admire them so much. I couldn't arrange my OWN breakfast until I was about 25 let alone others! I lived independently from 19 but just couldn't imagine having babies then.

 

[Wobbles]

You having more kiddies then Minxy yes?

I've been thinking about this loads with my 'problems' an I always think when is the point I have to stop - Thats where my question came from

 

[Minxy]

You having more kiddies then Minxy yes?

I've been thinking about this loads with my 'problems' an I always think when is the point I have to stop - Thats where my question came from

I kinda guessed that :wink: You have LOADS of TTC years left, I'm sure.

Yep, I want at least one more. Always said I'd wait a few years so I could get my career back on track, but faced with the prospect of going back Monday am tempted to get pregnant straight away!

I've got one close friend who's 39 and starting to panic about being a mum, but personally I'm not thinking about my biological clock just yet. I think if I've not had another by 35 I'll defintely get the ball rolling!

 

[Suz]

Hopefully Im not too old. Im going to be 32 in April and Im still TTC Baby number 1!

 

[Lauz_1601]

I definatly dont think 30's are too old, I dont even think 40's are too old, but you have to think, a 40yr old having a baby, there child will be 2 when there 60, but at the end of the day that doesnt really matter as long as there loved and cared for.

When I was pregnant with Ella, my mum's friend fell pregnant they'd be trying for years and years with lots of problems and she was 40 when she fell pg. we were sat in the ante - natal clinic together it was lovely, she was with my mum when she was pg with me trying to get her into labour driving over bumps lol, and there was me and her two generations apart both pregnant. and it was lovely to see her son and Ella together.

at the end of the day different people are ready for babies at different ages, and although Ella wasnt planned I was ready, I wasnt scared I was really looking forward to the way my life was going to change. Age doesnt matter its your mind that does.

ok well these 60 70 yr old who have babies thats jsut crazy!

 

[Helen]

Hopefully Im not too old. Im going to be 32 in April and Im still TTC Baby number 1!

No you're not. At our age, I don't think it helps with all the stuff in the media about "older" Mums and all this rubbish that they spout about women putting their careers first and not having children till their 30s. It really winds me up because it's not like that at all. In fact, of my friends there is not one without children now who has put their career first, they are just trying to find the right man and somewhere to live and frankly that is hard enough!

 

[Minxy]

No you're not. At our age, I don't think it helps with all the stuff in the media about "older" Mums and all this rubbish that they spout about women putting their careers first and not having children till their 30s. It really winds me up because it's not like that at all. In fact, of my friends there is not one without children now who has put their career first, they are just trying to find the right man and somewhere to live and frankly that is hard enough!

I agree with all of that! Although the house and man thing is not TOTALLY necessary if you're that way inclined. An friend of mine was 19 and single when she had her first daughter and scoffed when I confessed to being too skint to have a baby. She said all you need to parent is love. While I agree to an extent that's all you NEED, it's easier if you've got some of the other stuff in place first too!

Though as we've established, some people have all that sorted by 21. We all get there in the end I guess

 

[Cat]

Personally (and I will prob offend people now) I dont think its fair to introduce children into the world if your not in a proper relationship or can provide for them. I know circumstances change and if you lose your job, split up with your partner etc these things cant be helped, and also that accidents happen. But I think its selfish to just think 'I want a kid' and have one regardless. A girl I went to school with wanted a child so she just got a boyfirend she wasnt fussed with got herself pregnant, split up with him and got a council house out of it and lived on benefits and this annoys me. Their is more to having a child then just loving them, you need to be responsible them and be able to provide for them.

 

[Wobbles]

I don't think we have any girls here just wanting to get pregnant & dump the father to live on benefits! Well not that I am aware

 

[Minxy]

I hope my post wasn't taken out of context (and we're certainly veering O/T )

Like Wobbles said I don't think we have any members intent on doing that. I just meant that I always thought in the past it would be the worst thing in the world to be single and financially insecure with kids which is part of why I wanted to wait until I was married and settled into a career.

Though I appreciate these things don't always come with age, I and most people I know are in a better place now than we were ten years ago.

My friend tried to explain that you'd always cope when you had children no matter what.

 

[Suz]

Well...I think Im getting a late start at the TTC thing, but If I really tried for my first child when I was in my early 20's, it would have had a real messed up life. I just hope that we dont have too much problems making a baby because Im older.... :wink: