When IVF fails - please join for support

[Mrs W 11]

Hi everyone

My first ivf cycle has just failed and since I have low AMH, the chances are I may not respond any better next time and am starting to feel really scared about my prospects for having another baby, never mind the 2 more I really wanted.

I noticed there are a lot of threads of people going through IVF together but not one specifically for those who have failed one or more cycles. I love the threads I'm on but it is hard to see others get their Bfps and the topics change to pregnancy related whilst you are grieving.

I thought a support thread to help one another through hard times, a shoulder to cry on, and make plans for the future, wether its trying again or exploring other options might help.

I'll be having a big glass of wine tonight!! Would love others to chat to who are feeling the same way. Xx

 

[beneathmywing]

Just wanted to give you some hugs

 

[Plex]

Hi, just wanted to give u a big Ivf is soul destroying yet has the potential to be such a miracle worker, runs us ragged emotionally. I think wine is a great idea (may be glugging some when i get home lol)

Not sure how many children i wanted just knew i wanted more than 1, so tough when ur body has other ideas!

Im currently looking at other options overseas, got to save money up and loose weight if both are possible, think ill struggle to achieve one of those goals but a girls gotta try

How r u? What r ur plans for your next step? xx

 

[boobear2872]

Me, this is the second failed protocol.out of noplace awesome looking follicals that where ready to go. Shrunk to almost nothing. We may do iui on tuesday but got told those odds are almost zero...im gutted feeling like a failure and just so sad. Really was going well all thismonth. The nurse called and said my overies are acting weird as he doesnt usually see that with how far I did get. im sorry u been trying multiple times as well....I dont know how people do this so many times. Its not fair that we try so hard, and nothing (

 

[WANBMUM]

Can I be part? Even though I had IUI. I feel a little lost at the moment as I don't know where I fit and I'm trying to stay strong for oh and family.

It was our 2nd IUI failure and we are not sure financially when/if we can go again.

Infertility is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It never gets easier or less stressful.

 

[Jillie89]

I am pretty sure I have just had a chemical after my latest FET. I still have my beautiful daughter from a previous cycle but this still hurts so much. Have spent the last 2 days in tears. I thought this would be easier... but it isn't.

 

[Mrs W 11]

Hi everyone, thanks for joining. Really hoping this can be a place we can chat and try and help each other through the tough times. Totally agree, infertility is just absolutely heartbreaking, it's been such a huge shock to me asi got pregnant very easily with my dd and my mmc to now find out my amh is so low I may never have another baby

Plex - I'm just about to have a glass of wine now! I've heard about people going abroad for treatment, is it cheaper than the uk? Have they said why your first cycle may have failed or was it perhaps bad luck?

Boo bear I'm so sorry to hear about your cycle. I hope you get some answers at your follow up as to why your ovaries reacted like this. Maybe there is another stim drug they can try you on?

Wanbmum is there a reason for your infertility or unexplained? Don't give up lovely, if they have recommended iui you must still have a great chance for pregnancy, it wasn't even an option for me.

Jillie I'm so sorry to hear your fet failed. Do you have any more frosties? Take some time to look after yourself. Your little miracle was worth the tough journey and your next one will be too.

Plex my next step is that I have an appointment at the lister next week in London as they specialise in low amh so I want to see what they say. I also have my follow up appointment at my clinic next week too. We plan to see what they say but we will only try max a year or 2 more ivfs with my eggs before moving to donor. Xx

 

[Jaybo]

Hi ladies,

I'd love to join too. MrsW you know my story from the Jan thread, but I've just had a miserable first ivf cycle that resulted in one lonely embryo and a BFN!

Sorry you're all going through this heartache. It's knocked me down a lot harder then I thought and it will be lovely to have some ladies to share our stories with as we try and pick ourselves up and move on to whatever is next. In the meantime tears and wine are on the cards for me too xxx

 

[Mrs W 11]

jaybo xx Our stories are so similar, we are in this together lovely xx

 

[Jillie89]

Still have 3 frosties but bank account is pretty sad at present from this cycle to go back and use them.

 

[boobear2872]

Going to try iui o. Tuesday, even though chance is almost nothing. I payed so much money. To not do something again, my heart and head wouldnt make sense of that.

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi ladies!

mrs w, great idea for a thread! Please can i join in.

just quickly popping in to say hi, at work and on my phone so typing tricky. I had my first icsi cycle jan/feb. Got bfn and no frosties. Extremely unlikely I'm going to put myself through it again. Just hoping to recover from what was a traumatic experience and in time consider other options for building our family or living childfree.

stupid, sucky infertility. Grrr.

 

[Plex]

Mrs W - I think its a good idea to have a limit on things as ivf is so draining! Ive had four ivfs + a fet so im now looking into donor embryos as hubby and i had decided on adopting anyway just hadnt thought about embryo adoption. As far as i can see they only do this abroad so thats why im looking overseas.

In out treatment process ive given away my eggs, had poor responses, zero fertilisation and crap embryos. I just feel like my eggs arent up to par so to speak.

Good luck with the appointment at lister, have u got lots of questions to ask them? I would still get a follow up at ur clinic though, just to see what they say. I have a follow up on the 20th may so i think i will decide for sure if we go abroad.

It is soooo much cheaper abroad! Dont know about bloods etc but a full ivf with icsi is £1575 with out meds but still awesome for donor embryos its 1161 for 2 embryo FET ive decided with myself that if i loose the weight then we go for it!!!

Its so good to talk about how we are feeling about this all - i worry ill bring a downer on the threads i have been on. Its so hard as i am happy for everyone else!

xx

 

[Plex]

Boo - Good luck hun with the iui would you get much of a refund if you cancelled? If i remember rightly at my clinic we only get part of the cost back xx

 

[boobear2872]

Thy cancelled it on us, but three us a bone so to speak, tomorrow ill ask about that. That u for brining to attention..I was so uoset, no try, no baby nothing back, ya know

 

[Mrs W 11]

Hi comfy, welcome Hun I'm not sure on the reason for your infertility but will you consider egg r sperm donor or look at adoption next? There are options for having a family so if you want it, it will happen.

Plex when you say donor embryos do you mean that a couple have used both their egg and sperm for and then donated? Or do you mean donor eggs to use with your ohs sperm? Lots of places in this country offer egg donation programmes but I don't know about embryo donation.

I haven't got a long list of questions for Lister really, mainly what they recommend next and what I can do about my egg quality. I've got a follow up at my clinic on Friday so will be interested to see what they recommend as next steps. I think they will say try again with low chance of success or use egg donor. I'm just at a point now where I'm desperate to be pregnant and have another baby as soon as possible. I've been waiting 18 months already and the age gap for my little girl to have a sibling is getting bigger every day. I can't wait much longer

 

[Mrs G]

Hi everyone.
Just wanted to stop by to wish you all luck and say always keep believing.
As a 5 times failed cycle veteran I know just how hard it is. But I do believe in the power of positive thought and it's always been the thought of "maybe next time" that got me through.
Like my sig says "don't stop believing". Lots of luck and baby dust to you all.
Xx

 

[Comfycushions]

Mrs w, our issue is male factor. We've got our wtf tomorrow, where i suspect they might mention my eggs as a problem too but we'll see.

plex, the price abroad is amazingly cheaper. If i ever decide to try it again I'd consider the abroad option. What country are you looking at?

at the minute i think i don't want to try again-just too traumatized by whole affair. Who knows how i'll feel in time but at moment I'm leaning towards adoption or childfree.

boobear sorry to see your iui cancelled. Hope your clinic has been able to give you some answers and you're taking care of yourself.x

 

[boobear2872]

No ivf was cancelled. We did iui, here to hoping..and thank you

 

[lizzie78]

Hi Ladies can I join too please? Great idea Mrs W

Mrs W, plex, jaybo and Comfy I know you all from previous threads so although i wish you were all off talking about morning sickness somewhere, selfishly its nice to be on another thread with you all

For those i don't know yet quick outline of me: Dh has son from previous marriage, had a vasectomy before they split up. had it reversed when he met me but he has bad everything so ICSI is our only option. 1 ICSI last July - early miscarriage, FET in Jan - early miscarriage. We have 2 frosties left and are pretty much out of cash. Considering Immune testing before a final FET if we can afford it but DH isnt ready to talk about it yet so im trying to be patient when all I want to do is plan to distract me from my grief at the moment. This second failure has walloped me hard. Final whinge, i'm full of cold and just think the universe could have cut me a break and not sent me a load of germs on top of everything else at the moment!!! Ok, i'm stopping now