When IVF fails - please join for support

[Comfycushions]

Thanks ladies, I don't feel brave i feel like a nervous wreck, but can see that I'm doing better than I was tho so that's a great positive.

Lizzie I feel for you on the facebook thing. I deactivated my account last october and I'm so glad I did. Although I miss seeing what some of my friends are up to in the main i think my life actually feels much better without it.
It must be really hard not being sure if you and dh are on the same page. I hope you have a lovely weekend together and that you manage to catch up on some sleep.

Mrs W sorry to hear you've had a miserable week. Sometimes it really does seem as if everything goes to crap at once and all our losses can build up and then become overwhelming. (That's how I've felt lately anyway)
I hope dh is able to find another job easily and that everything comes together with the house you want.
Really hope your heating is an easily fixable problem, that sucks it's happened while it's stiull chilly. I totally agree that it would be utterly inhumane to expect someone to not have wine in such circumstances. If nothing else you need a 'beer jacket' to cope with the cold.

Nobump hope you enjoy acu, football and dinner.

People that are trying to eat healthy take comfort from the fact that at least you haven't started comfort smoking like I have. I'm such an idiot, thought oh I'll just have one but now I've got to go through the whole withdrawl period again. Have been off sugar and booze for a week now though.

I'm spending the weekend hopefully finishing emptying my Dad's house to put on the market. Coping with that surprisingly well but sure I'll shed a few tears when it goes up for sale-it was the house i grew up in.

Hmm thinking about it maybe I will have a glass of wine tonight.

 

[boobear2872]

Lizzy I so hate being smack with facebook baby announcments, sorry you got that today. So ur dad lives in fl, awesome.. im in fort Lauderdale.

 

[lizzie78]

keep getting sprung by my boss when i try to type longer replies so sweet and short one this morning!

Boobear - no way! My dad lives in Davie!

CC im sorry but that did make me laugh particularly because ive so nearly cracked over the last few days and had a cigarette myself. Hopefully the withdrawl wont be too bad as you wont have really got back into the habit

Thanks for the suggestions about a uk break, we are thinking of Jersey actually as Dh apparently has always wanted to go (12 years and i had no idea!) Struggling to muster up the enthusiasm though so delaying booking for a little while.

Mrs W - hope the negotiations on the house go in your favour and so sorry you have had such a rotten year. I dont know why it happens like that but it often does. So ahrd to keep going though so you are doing brilliantly!

Nobump - how are you? I'm not surprised you are shattered with all the bleeding. Dont know what to say but wanted to let you know i was thinking about you.

I've had a dark few days but cautiously feeling a bit better today so fingers crossed xxx

 

[boobear2872]

That isnt far.

Btw im out, spotted for four days and now bleeding alot. I have hcg in my system but not enough. So they said I could possibly have been but im not now. Which honestly doesnt feel good whatever the answer was and is..

 

[lizzie78]

boobear i'm so sorry

 

[nobump]

Boobear I am sorry to hear you are bleeding

Lizzie I have taken to just hiding things from my timeline, but there is no getting away from seeing the initial post unless you give up FB. I see constant pics of my new Niece who would be a few weeks ahead of my first if it had worked in February.. but have to do the doting aunt bit.


Small update from me, still spotting, day 47 or 48 losing track... bleeding was heavier last week but now less, doc suggested I take Northisterone for 3 weeks, take a break and then start again and use the other meds if bleeding is heavy... if we do another cycle it won't be until July/August before we go for consultation with private clinic, think we need to lead a normal life for a few more months, big 40 in a few weeks, weekend away in Nice planned and then we have a holiday planned in June so want to enjoy those first before attempting another cycle if at all. I am knackered though, and turned up late for work twice this week, but thankfully boss is understanding, as long as I do the work/hours then all is ok.

Thought I was being wise by missing the send off for a colleague who is expecting next month today as WFH, but she will be out tomorrow night when I am out with a group from work..... Oh and the 'friend' who sat in my living room telling me how much she deserved the baby she was carrying after waiting so long for it (after hubby had explained about out failed IVFs to her) is due today, I am not even going to acknowledge it on FB, hubby can do that she is more his friend. I know she was excited, but she is an intelligent woman, so should have known better! or at least realised after the event and said something...

How is everyone else?

 

[boobear2872]

Thank you lizzy and nobump. We decided to sit out this month or least nothing medically to concieve. Just mentally and physically takes such a toll. Hub refused doner eggs at all but finally after thistime, agrees to talk to doctor about Iit. Being 43with my problems two percent chance with my own eggs is getting to expensive. As for ur friend who is having a baby and rubbed it in ur face, gentle hugs ur way.

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hi. I may as well join . Anyway I'm embarrassed to say that I'm 43 and still thinking an ivf will work. I married late, had a mc and chemical and went to ivf at age 39 and got my twins (so I'm even more embarrassed to complain). I had 2 more mc's after that with unplanned pregnancies and went crazy after the 2nd mc as far as trying to get pregnant. My husband was not on board with having a third but agreed and in October I started a cycle which got cancelled because I ovulated. I then developed a cyst, went on vacation and started up again in Jan. I got 6 eggs, 4 fertilized, 2 arrested and then only 1 made it to blast stage. I transferred that blast but it was a big fail. I will start again once my period starts and of course feel very not positive about any future cycles

 

[lizzie78]

Hi Maxxie, you dont need to be embarrassed about anything! We are all at different stages and places so you are welcome. Do you not have to wait for a certain number of bleeds before starting a new cycle?

Small update from me, after a dreadful weekend i got sloshed last night and told DH I thought we out to see a marriage counsellor as i find him almost impossible to talk to. (I do appreciate that drinking a bottle and a half of rose wine is not the best approach to getting my brave on and sorting out marital difficulties!). He managed to stutter a few sentences then along the lines of he doesnt think we need it. Turns out he has assumed we will be trying a final time with our last two frosties and is just giving me time to get over things as instructed by the consultant - sigh. I pointed out that I feel very alone with everything which is not ideal in a marriage let alone one going through infertility and that I had interpreted his silence as meaning we were not going to try again. Coming to terms with the miscarriage is easier than coming to terms with not trying again and a miscarriage iyswim. So, today I feel a little better even if i still wish we could communicate better. He just said he finds it difficult to talk which I do know but it worries me nonetheless. I guess until now it hasnt really mattered as i've been able to intuit what he doesnt say.

hope everyone else had a good easter?

 

[beneathmywing]

Hi ladies. I know a few of you in here. I hate to share my first bfp was really a blighted ovum and having a d&c performed Friday. I am absolutely devastated and really need the support. Hope you girls are doing well. Xx

 

[lizzie78]

BMW i'm so sorry to hear that, you must be devastated. Sorry I havent kept up on the other thread as I found it too hard. Welcome to our little group even though i'm sure you would rather not be a member. It has helped me to have a 'home' during this bit. Based on you having a D&C on Friday do I take it that you have only just found out?

 

[beneathmywing]

BMW i'm so sorry to hear that, you must be devastated. Sorry I havent kept up on the other thread as I found it too hard. Welcome to our little group even though i'm sure you would rather not be a member. It has helped me to have a 'home' during this bit. Based on you having a D&C on Friday do I take it that you have only just found out?

Actually, Ive had three weeks of torture. First my beta numbers werent doubling, so my doctor was worried about it being tubal. I had to wait 10 days until I was 6 weeks for an ultrasound which ruled out tubal, but the sac in my uterus was empty. I waited a whole week again for a 7 week ultrasound which was this past Monday and again, completely empty. So I decided on the d&c on Friday so id have the weekend to recover.

 

[maxxiandniko]

Hi Maxxie, you dont need to be embarrassed about anything! We are all at different stages and places so you are welcome. Do you not have to wait for a certain number of bleeds before starting a new cycle?

Small update from me, after a dreadful weekend i got sloshed last night and told DH I thought we out to see a marriage counsellor as i find him almost impossible to talk to. (I do appreciate that drinking a bottle and a half of rose wine is not the best approach to getting my brave on and sorting out marital difficulties!). He managed to stutter a few sentences then along the lines of he doesnt think we need it. Turns out he has assumed we will be trying a final time with our last two frosties and is just giving me time to get over things as instructed by the consultant - sigh. I pointed out that I feel very alone with everything which is not ideal in a marriage let alone one going through infertility and that I had interpreted his silence as meaning we were not going to try again. Coming to terms with the miscarriage is easier than coming to terms with not trying again and a miscarriage iyswim. So, today I feel a little better even if i still wish we could communicate better. He just said he finds it difficult to talk which I do know but it worries me nonetheless. I guess until now it hasnt really mattered as i've been able to intuit what he doesnt say.

hope everyone else had a good easter?[/QUOTE



No waiting. As soon as this period comes which should be in 2 weeks I'll start up again.

 

[Comfycushions]

Happy Friday ladies

Boobear sorry things didn't work out this time.

Bmw so sorry to read your news. I hope everything goes quickly and smoothly today. such a heartbreaking outcome.

Lizzie, glad to hear you managed a good chat with DH (so what if it took booze courage as long as there was a good outcome!) Have you booked your jersey break yet?

Hi maxi, no need to feel embarrassed. It's awful what TTC can do to us. Good luck with your next cycle.

Nobump, sorry about the continuing bleeding and the insensitive friends.

Afm, been up and down. Hurt my back before Easter and that p**s*ed me off! Hobbling about in pain was tiresome but I'm well on the mend now. Read a book (I'm taking my eggs and going home) about a women's journey to a childless life. I had hoped It'd be inspiring and give me hope but it did not have that effect on me at all. I think the fact there's an outside chance we could conceive (very slim due to DH ) means ttc will continue to weigh heavy on my mind. Ttc has been a negative impact on my life for years now (missed opportunities due to thinking I'd be pg, tension due to missed bd in fertile window etc, etc, blah, blah) and I'm sick of it!!!! Got appointment with counsellor next week which can't hurt and the glorious sunshine is trying to penetrate my gloomy mood.
Sorry for whining.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

 

[nobump]

Lizzie it's funny I usually need to ply my DH with alcohol to get him to talk, and yes alcohol loosens my lips to. It is good that you DH is wanting to have another attempt with your frosties.

BMW sorry to hear your news, sounds as it you have had a tough few weeks

maxxiandniko, good luck with your new cycle, you egg numbers sound good, I only managed 2 eggs first cycle, none made it to transfer, 1 egg second cycle, transfered but only 2 cell day 3, was unsuccessful, never had a BFP. Men are so hard to read sometimes, they are not good at opening up.


I had a counseling session yesterday, not sure if I still need it, but have another session booked for next month. I have also got my first therapy session to deal with the head injury I had as a child next week, not sure if it will help or not yet, only time will tell, think my IVF counselor is interested to find out how I get on.

On the drive through I was suffering severe menstral pain on the drive through, so was still experiencing it during the session while awaiting the pain killers to kick in. Had severe bleeding overnight, have took today off work, just exhausted, have a doctors appointment later today, not sure what they can do to help, so sick of bleeding.

 

[bunyhuny]

Hi. I hope it is okay if I join in. I'm going into my sixth transfer in a week and a half and am really down about it. I think all the meds are messing with my head. Not feeling really comfortable on any of the other IVF threads as everyone else is going for their first or second transfer and seem so positive and hopeful- and here I am just hoping that I don't go through beta hell yet again. A good, solid positive or negative is all I ask. No more of this low/slow implantation semi-failure that ends in heartache. I just want it to either be my take-home baby, or not work at all. No more of this loss nonsense.

 

[Mrs W 11]

Welcome maxiandnikko, definitely don't be embarrassed, it's sad that it takes some of longer to find the right partner, I wish I'd met my hubby younger. I'm only 34 but my amh is very low so I met him too late

Lizzie I'm glad to hear you and hubby talked and that he is happy with trying again with your frosties. What have your clinic said about your losses?

Welcome BMW, I'm so so sorry to read about your loss, I was hoping for a positive outcome for you.,its such a tough journey, be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes. We are here for you lovely if you want to talk xx

Comfy I hope your counsellor appointment goes well and helps. I'm the same, keep hoping against hope I will get preg naturally, event though I know my chances are slim!

No bump I'm so sorry you are going through all this. How did your drs appointment go? Are they going to investigate the bleeding? Sending hugs to you

Welcome buny, of course you can join. Wishing you the best of luck with your upcoming transfer xx

 

[Mrs W 11]

Oh forgot to add.... Afm....feeling down this weekend as af arrived. I keep hoping for a miracle natural pregnancy but of course not. Silly.

I'm also finding it very hard this time to be 'good' and give up wine and naughty food. I've joined slimming world which I hope will help. Ivf in June/July seems so far away but I know what i eat/do now will affect my eggs then. I really need to start doing my fertility yoga again but I just don't feel like it.

On a good note we've found a house to buy and we are relocating so quite exciting. Lots of positives to focus on while we wait for the summer.

Xx

 

[nobump]

Oh that's exciting mrs w. Are you moving far? Will a change of scenery help?

Welcome bunnyhunny we will be here to support you. Its a hard reality that ivf does not work for all and its certainly not plain sailing.

AFM docs appointment went ok. Getting bloods rechecked on Tuesday and back at docs on Wednesday. He was talking about refering me again to a gynae. This bleeding episode is not normal. But was light yesterday and today so not took any meds hopefully be able to wait til Tuesday to start northisterone.

Think my options to stop bleeding are limited coil, abrasion or hysterectomy. But I want them to double check cause as it has never been like this before and my hystoscopy was over a year ago pre ivf. Laporoscopy was even longer ago. Doc did say if we were opting for a third ivf then to do it soon. But if I am bleeding heavy can I do ivf??

How's everyone enjoying the weekend? Just about to head out to football the fir food withffriends xx

 

[beneathmywing]

Thanks everyone for the kind words. It's been a tough few days. Had my D&C on Friday. It went well. Doctor was able to collect tissue to send to pathology and also got chromosome blood work done so I should have those results and hopefully answers soon. I am feeling okay physically -- bleeding spotted Friday night and little to no pain. The emotional aspect of it is much harder.

I pray we all get our rainbows soon! What's everyone's timeline on trying again? I know I too pray for a "miracle bfp," but very slim chance here as well!

Welcome, Buny Glad you joined us.