When IVF fails - please join for support

[Mrs W 11]

Mrs g thanks lovely, that's so kind of you. So happy for you xx

Lizzie lovely to see you here, I'm glad you've joined us, but as you've said I wish it was on a pregnancy thread. We will get there, the journey is so so hard but the end result will be so worth it. I know it doesn't help at this stage but you know that you can get pregnant, it's now a case of getting the right embryo and making it stick. Hopefully your dh just needs a bit more time and then you can start to work together on that plan. Always here lovely xxx

Comfy, lovely to see you here too. How did your wtf appointment go? You take all the time you need and you will make the right choice for you. In the meantime we are all here to chat, listen or if you just want to natter and have a laugh and not think about it all, we can help with that too!!

Boo I hope your iui went well.

Jaybo, how are you doing lovely? Just wanted to say I went to the lister yesterday for a consultation, I was really happy with them, what they said and how they made me feel. Plus it's soooo posh! There's a concierge outside with top hat on haha! If you are still considering them, so far I'd recommend an appointment. It cost £205.

So afm, yes had a consultation at the lister yesterday and they have recommend that although I have low amh, due to my age, they want me to try the long protocol. I had always heard antagonist or flare were better for low amh but this clinic feels due to my age long would be better. They are giving me a different stim drug (better for quality), different suppressant and different trigger. I've ordered dhea and will get some cq10 and am going to take those for 3 months and then cycle with lister in June/July.

I also have my wtf appointment today at my old clinic so very interested to see what they say and recommend, Even though I know I won't cycle with them again.

So I'm having another weekend off, wine and nice food and then from Monday I'm bring good again, very limited alcohol (special occasions only), healthy food, exercise and yoga etc for the three months. Overall I'm feeling really positive.

How's everyone doing and feeling? I'm really hoping we can make this a great support thread to help each other through this really hard, sad, exhausting journey. Much love ladies xxx

 

[boobear2872]

We did the iui, now its the wait game. Thank u for asking

 

[Jaybo]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your well wishes MrsG. So happy to see you got a BFP from your last cycle. Congratulations!

Boo sorry your IVF cycle didn't work out. FX for a good result from the IUI.

Hi Comfy and Lizzy great to see some familiar ‘faces’ but as you say not for the reasons we’re all here!

Comfy I know I said it on this other thread as well but I found the whole thing completely traumatic as well so I know how you feel when you say you don’t want to go through it again!

Plex you’re one brave lady to have gone through so many cycles! I hope everything works out for you soon. I can’t believe how much cheaper treatment is abroad. Do you know why that is? Is it just because we are being completely ripped off in the UK?

Lizzy how are you doing hon? I hope DH comes round and feels able to talk about it soon. All mine seems to say at the moment is 'we’ll do whatever you want', which isn’t very helpful. I'm sure I'm not the only one this decision is going to affect.

MrsW – I'm so glad your appointment at the Lister went well and that you have a plan to start again in a few months. Sounds like a lovely clinic, although I can’t believe they have guys with top hats out the front though! Maybe that's what we're paying for! So I've also booked an appointment there for a couple of weeks time, so excited but nervous at the same time.

Who did you see? I'm worried that they are just going to send me away with my dismal AMH levels! I was on a long protocol last time so I would be really keen to try something different this time, but I guess they’re the experts.What stims have they put you on this time around?

I'd bought DHEA before my last cycle but my NHS cycle wasn’t supportive of it so I didn't take it. But I started a couple of weeks ago because I’d read so many good things about it so hoping it helps this time. Where have you ordered yours from? I could only find the micronized version in the US so it cost a fortune to ship!

How did your WTF appointment go?

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi all!

Lizzie good to hear from you, but yes it's sad circumstances aren't different for us all. Hope dh is ready to talk soon.

Mrs w top hatted dude sounds awesome! I don't think we get that sort of thing up here in the Midlands clinics! Glad your appointment went well and hope the wtf was ok today.

Jaybo, thanks, it's reassuring to hear I'm not the only one who finds the assisted route traumatic. Rationally I know I'm not the only one who's ever struggled with this but still tend to be hard on myself for not bouncing back.
I hope you're appointment at the lister goes well.
My dh I think is leaning towards a 'whatever you think best' approach to our next steps too. I understand he just wants me to be ok but this is a two person issue.

Boo, good luck with the iui.

My wtf was ok. They said I started responding slowly initially but they were happy with how things picked up. They said the reason I got so few eggs could've been down to some getting stuck to the follicle when they tried to flush them(??!). They were extremely positive about the 100% fert of my meagre hall. Rest of cycle failure, as expected, was put down to 'we just don't know.' They said they'd do amh if cycled again but no reason to suspect diminished reserve or poor egg quality. Dh sperm still dodgy. When I asked they said that anecdotaly proxeed may help. Think dh might be up for trying it now.

Like you, Mrs w, I'm going to allow myself another weekend of indulgence then back on healthy living bandwagon!!

Have a lovely weekend everyone.xx

 

[boobear2872]

Comfy cussions, jaybo ..thank u and everyone else for the well wishes. After two failed ivf cycles I felt so lost. I want to thank everyone here for the support. Oh is great but even though we are going through this together. He is more like oh well, bad luck, dont be down we have other months to try. Im glad we do, but support like I get fro. You all that get it from a womens point of view is really helping me. Sorry babe maybe next month from him, though heart felt doesnt cut it if u know what I mean. So heartyy thank you to everyone on this site. Honestly dont know if my head be screwed on if I ddnt have this site, huge hugs everyone.

 

[Comfycushions]

Boobear, it certainly seems true that most men experience this all very differently from the women in their lives. This site is definitely a big help.

Afm, I'm at work but mainly concentrating on trying to find a holiday for end of May. I am in need of some sun and relaxation!

 

[Jaybo]

Yes men do seem to process this all in a very different way! I'm not sure what I do without the support of my bnb girls

Relaxing in the sun sounds lovely Comfy! Where are you thinking of going? We've got a couple of short breaks in Europe over the next few months and I cant wait!

I'm also working today. I haven't been very productive since our failed cycle and needed to take a week off to recover. So I'm seeing it as progress that I can actually concentrate on my work now and it's quite nice to have something else to focus on!

 

[Jaybo]

Comfy I meant to say your wtf appointment sounds positive. Although I'm not quite sure what they mean by something getting stuck Did they explain anymore about that?

I had my DH on fertiliaid and the other one of the same brand for motility. They're expensive but his motility had gone from 4% to 30% in 3 months, so I do think they're worth it. I also spotted on fertility road website that they are doing a trial of vitamins for men so the vitamins are free. But it involves extra SA tests so not sure my DH would be up for it, but thought I'd mention it.

 

[nobump]

Can I join in?

Will go back and read through all posts but scanning I recognise a few folk.

AFM I have had 2 failed cycles. Feb and August 2014. Was taking a break from IVF. Was just thinking of booking a private consult but I am now on day 37 of bleeding with no end in sight. Not aways heavy but very draining.

Think I am just about to give up on TTC and getting the bleeding sorted out. Time is running out for us I turn 40 next month.

Got docs on Monday but not sure what they can do have been on mefanamic acid, tranexamic acid and northisterone and nothing seems to stop the bleeding for more than 2 or 3 days.

 

[lizzie78]

hi No bump and welcome hun I said it on the other thread but i really hope you have some luck with the Dr tomorrow about this bleeding, even if they believe it's completely normal (which I can't imagine they do!) it's effect on you surely can't be ignored, you must be exhausted

Comfy - our clinic recommended Menevit which you have to import from Australia, i put DH on them anyway and they did help although our biggest problem is 100% antibodies which they can't fix, they do have good reports though. I'm another one that would say I found this last cycle particularly difficult and dont feel close to bouncing back yet so don't beat yourself up about it! Its a heck of a thing we put ourselves, our emotions, our bodies and relationships through. Nothing is sacred in IVF, there is no small piece of yourself that you get to keep back and safe so no wonder we find it so traumatic We must all be alike, i've just booked a weekend away at the end of may with a friend because i'm desperate for some sun on my face and something to look forward to. Rome here we come! Hope you have found somewhere?

Jaybo, glad work is helping a bit now. Its hard to get the balance right i think between being completely distracted and being a bit of a liability at work and actually it providing enough distraction to make the days a bit easier.

Boobear - I think that I would have been lost without this website so many times, its a great place to get things off your chest. BnB girls rock

Mrs W i'm still chuckling about the concierge with a top hat. We definitely don't have those in the midlands or at least not any of the clinics i went to open days at! The new protocol sounds good that the Lister are talking about but it will be interesting what your old clinic have to say in comparison. Hope you have enjoyed your last indulgent weekend, I'm back on the healthy eating tomorrow and have been super bad today. its ridiculous i'm like a naughty kid who doesnt know any better! Its like all my self control from the last 3 months has vanished!

Hope everyone has had good-ish weekends xxx

 

[boobear2872]

I live in florida, to bad we all couldnt come here and just enjoy together a few days

 

[LadyLovenox]

Hey ladies.... Just wanted to share my story in case it could help anyone at all. Have you had an endometrial biopsy? I had three failed fresh cycles and one failed frozen. They would do a biopsy in between each cycle, and the biopsies always showed inflammation also known as endometritis (not endometriosis)... They treated me with antibiotics every time, and the inflammation never went away. My doctor always acted like that wasn't a big deal, so we would always go forward with the transfers, even with the biopsies showing inflammation. BUT then they did a study and found that endometritis caused a hostile environment for embryos and prevented implantation in many cases. The actual study showed only a 7% success rate in patients with endometritis. It made sense to me.... Nothing "inflamed" is really ideal. Since antibiotics didn't work to get rid of inflammation , my doctor recommended I go gluten free, as gluten intolerance causes inflammation in many parts of the body. I had no Symptoms of gluten intolerance but I went strictly gluten free for three months and had another biopsy... My 4th! Finally... All inflammation was gone!! They gave me another round of antibiotics just to kick out anything else that may remain, as far as the inflammation. **pregnancy mentioned ** We did one more round of ivf and got pregnant with twins!! I ended up losing one at 8 weeks, but I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant with the remaining twin and everything looks healthy and right on track. **end mention** as far as my stats... I had low Amh (1.33), age 29-30 during cycles, I'd get 15-17 eggs... By day 5 only had a few blastocysts ... Highest quality was 4AB....Which they said was great, but I'd only have like 2 of those and then some morulas and such. . I only ever had one to freeze. My hsg was normal as well... They don't show inflammation. If your doctor hasn't done an endometrial biopsy, it's worth a shot. And in the study my doctor discussed, 100% of the patients with endometritis had their endometritis cleared with a two week round of doxycycline and flagyl. They had never put me on those antibiotics before... Just zpacks... So who knows if I would have kept eating gluten and just taken doxycycline and flagyl... If that would have cleared up mine as well... But I'm still gluten free! Just wanted to share my story with you in case it helps someone

 

[Mrs W 11]

Ladylove congrats on your pregnancy, I'm glad you found your issue and thank you for sharing, I hope it helps someone else xx

Lizzie - ooh I love Rome! Have you been before? Great choice, I absolutely love it there, if you've not been before, I'm sure you'll have an amazing time!! Yeh the concierge in top hats had me chuckling too! The hospital is so posh, I felt like a celeb going to have ivf haha !

Jaybo!! Ahhh I'm so glad you've booked your appointment at lister!! They specialise in low amh Hun so they won't turn you away, what is your amh again?? I saw dr shabana bora. She has put me on 300 ml Merional for stim (she said its good for quality). I'm taking dhea and coq10 for 3 months and I'm to start microgynon 30 on my June af ready to start a couple of weeks after. Good luck Hun!!!

Comfy, hope you've enjoyed your last weekend of indulgence!! I have!! Now I need you to help me get back on the wagon next week!! I'm glad your wtf appointment went ok, what do you think your next move will be?

No bump, welcome. I'm sorry to hear about your bleeding, and glad you have a drs appointment. I hope you get some answers soon. You will get lots of support here, there are some strong amazing ladies on this thread.

Afm... My wtf appointment wasn't great. I'd already decided I'd go to the lister anyway and not repeat at my old clinic. As expected, the consultant just said it was most likely an egg quality issue because of my low reserve. She said to up to us how many time we want to keep trying ivf, essentially we are looking for that one good egg and it might take one more go, it might take 5 goes, it might never happen, it's all down to luck. She recommended doing exactly the same again but swopping gonal f for menopur to see if that changes quality. I feel that if we do the same again the same will happen. Im keener to try what lister recommend. My old consultant thinks that lister push the boundaries and try innovative stuff without clinical evidence to back it up. But given tht what she suggested didn't work, I'd rather give lister a go first.

I've had a good weekend, seen a house we love so going to make an offer tomorrow, but the offer is £30k below asking price so they will likely turn us down. I had to work on Saturday so feeling tired today. Looking forward to a weekend doing nothing next weekend!!

How were your weekends ladies? Xx

 

[nobump]

Thanks all for your welcome.

Lizzie a weekend away sounds great, I am sure the sun will do you good.

Mrs W, I was on Menopur both cycles, my AMH is low, below 4. When I had my WTF appontments I did question why they had used Menopur and not Gonal F, that had worked for a friend at another clinic, although her issues are different to mine and she is ten years younger! The clinic had said that Menopur is better than G F, and is better for egg quality, so sounds like a good suggestion by the Lister. Good luck with the offer.

LadyLovenox, thanks for the advice.

AFM, I have had a nice weekend, had acupuncture on Saturday, very relaxing, went out for a drink with DH on Saturday night, was good to get out the house for a change of scene. We chatted, hubby opens up after a pint or 2. He said he got the impression from the hospital that they didn't have confidence in the cycle working... I think he was right... really don't think I have the energy for another cycle. Hoping doc will be able to help tomorrow, don't want to take more meds as nothing has made the bleeding stop completely. Or maybe the coil or the pill is the answer I can't continue with uncertainty of each day... is it time to stop?

xx

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi all Hope everyone is having a good week.

I've had two and a half good days this week where I've felt much more like myself However woke up sad today and had a bit of a sob this morning. I've started an online mediation course again this week and have high hopes that is going to help me.

Lizzie, hooray for Rome trip. Such a beautiful city with awesome relics lurking around every corner. I've only been once and would love to go again. Maybe I should've thrown a coin in the trevi fountain after all It definitely helps to have something to look forward to.

We've booked a week in Skiathos end of may and I can't wait.

Nobump I hope dr has been able to help re the bleeding.
It really is so difficult to know when to stop with treatment. I've purchased 'rocking the life unexpected by Jodie Day and recently downloaded ebook from the life without baby website (the first book is currently free). I think both of these and the exercises they suggest will ultimately help me come to terms with not becoming a mother. At the minute however some of it is just too confronting but others resonate and are comforting. I hope you find something that helps you make your decision and find peace with whatever that decision might be.

Mrs W how goes the house hunting? Glad you're feeling positive about the lister.

Jaybo how are you? When are you at top hat hospital? Hope your appointment goes well.

Have a good day all

 

[lizzie78]

Comfy - Hope today is a better day for you? I think you are incredibly brave in addressing things the way that you are, I'm still too scared to start trying to come to terms with anything yet. Skiathos sounds lovely, I was really fancying Greece but its too far for just a weekend.

Nobump - how are you feeling physically now? Are you still doing counselling? I'm only asking because of you wondering when is the time to stop, maybe that would help you figure things out. A couple of drinks out with DH sounds like it was a nice idea (i might pinch it!).

Mrs W hope you are looking forward tot his weekend of doing nothing. What happened with the offer you made on the house?

LadyLoveknox - thank you

Boobear - my dad lives in Florida, i can always send him around - oops no i can't lol he doesnt know we have been trying IVF!

Jaybo - how are you doing chick?

Not much to update from me. Made the mistake of going back on facebook and got slapped with a baby arrival this morning which made me feel horrible, all sick, dark and twisty Have still not managed to stop comfort eating and drinking! Must make a real effort on Monday as this is ridiculous, I'm only 5 ft tall so cant carry on like this or i'll be a ball DH and I still havent talked, i dont know what i want to say any more. He keeps looking at me all soppy and telling me he loves me and i just dont know what to say. I love him too but i cant help thinking part of him is relieved we arent pregnant, I dont know how else he can be so happy when i still feel like my world is being torn apart. Argh, this whole thing is rubbish. I'm tired this week, work is full on and i travel a lot so looking forward to trying to catch up on a bit of sleep where i can fit it in this weekend. We were going to go out for lunch on Valentines day while i was in my tww but didnt because DH was ill so there has been some talk of doing that tomorrow but i dont know whether we will or not, we shall see! Does anyone else have nice plans for the weekend?

xxx

 

[Mrs W 11]

Hi ladies,

Nobump it was my old clinic that recommended the change to menopur. I think they started me on gonal f as they assumed at 34 my egg quality would be good and it sadly wasn't. Lister have suggested Merional which I don't hear many people talk about but apparently it's good for quality. How was your drs appointment lovely, have you got any answers on the continued bleeding, or has it yet stopped?

Comfy it's a good sign that you had a few good days. I think slowly the better days will start to outweigh the awful ones as time gently heals the pain from your last cycle. I know it will never go away, but it will get easier. I hope the mediation will help, have you considering counselling? I agree too with lizzie in that you are being very brave and inspirational in your attitude. Be strong xx

Lizzie, hello. I'm sorry about the fb incident, I do understand. I feel the same awful gut feeling when people who had their babies long after I had my dd announce baby no 2 is on the way or when their babies are born. I know my situation is a little different to you ladies but I do still feel that desperation for pregnancy and a baby, even though I do realise how lucky I am to have had a miracle already. Don't beat yourself up too much about not being good with food or wine, I can't yet either. I had set last Monday as a date but I haven't done it. You are allowed some time, be kind to yourself. Life is too short to worry too much about it all. A date lunch with your hubby sounds brilliant!! Enjoy xx

As for me. Feeling a bit sorry for myself really, it's been another rubbishy week. I just feel like life is out to get us. It all started just over a year ago when my beloved cat died at just 7, then my gramp died, then I had the miscarriage and couldn't get pregnant again, found out about my low egg reserve etc. this week so far our offer was turned down on the house we want, twice! Hubby got made redundant! And today the heating has broken. How am I meant to give up wine under these conditions?!!!

Anyway.... We are going to view the house we like again tomorrow, along with a few others, to decide if we want to up our offer and to how much. Ttc naturally this cycle so will see! I know it's very unlikely but you never know. Just want life to give us some luck, surely we are due some happy news soon.

Hugs to everyone else. Hope you all have a nice weekend. Xxx

 

[nobump]

Hello all, typed a long post last night on lap top but lost it...

CC thanks for the book recommendations will have a look for them. Hope your good days start to out number your bad.

Lizzie hope you enjoy your lunch. Have you looked at a weekend in the uk. I really enjoyed the lake district when we went last year.

Mrs w sorry you missed out on the house. Its always sad when pets die. How much notice has your hubby got? Will he find something elsr quickly?

AFM still bleeding. Just about to head to acu. Then going to football and out with friends for dinner. Nothing planned for Sunday. Bleeding has been full AF this week. Jyst shattered.

Xxxx

 

[Mrs W 11]

Bump I'm not surprised you are tired Hun, you probably have low iron from the bleeding. What did your dr say? Hopefully if you've had af this week it will finish next week.

We are still negotiating on the house, going to view it again today and make another offer next week, it's just wether we can come to a mutual agreement on price. Very frustrating!

Lizzie, I know you are in the midlands, I'm from Oxford and have also live in Worcester in the past, and Cheltenham.... Lots of places for a weekend away around you if you do want a wend away in the uk.

X

 

[nobump]

Hello all, typed a long post last night on lap top but lost it...

CC thanks for the book recommendations will have a look for them. Hope your good days start to out number your bad.

Lizzie hope you enjoy your lunch. Have you looked at a weekend in the uk. I really enjoyed the lake district when we went last year.

Mrs w sorry you missed out on the house. Its always sad when pets die. How much notice has your hubby got? Will he find something elsr quickly?

AFM still bleeding. Just about to head to acu. Then going to football and out with friends for dinner. Nothing planned for Sunday. Bleeding has been full AF this week. Jyst shattered.

Xxxx