When IVF fails - please join for support

[Comfycushions]

Hi optimistic, so sorry you've had to come and join us but welcome. I can totally get the sense of feeling broken. It really is just awful.

Afm I've just got back from a fun trip to Poland with a friend. Whilst I was there I had a passing thought that such trips would be much less likely if I had a baby. Got a real pang of sadness at thought of being child free but didn't well up-hoping that can become my predominant reaction to such thoughts as time goes by. Sure beats the sobbing/gasping for air/reaching for wine reaction.

 

[optimistic13]

Thank u all )) means a lot
Tough week...
Got follow up appointment 29/7 hopefully second cycle next period.
Mixed emotions.

 

[Jaybo]

Hi ladies, how is everyone?

Comfy, really glad you had a good holiday. Sounds wonderful. I'm very familiar with the sobbing/gasping feeling, not pleasant, so I'm happy to hear it's starting to feel a little bit easier. Yesterday I received an invite to my SIL's baby shower and I managed a (rather large) eye ball roll rather than having a complete meltdown. Felt rather proud of myself!

Optimistic, sorry to hear you've had a tough week. I hope you get some answers for your next cycle at your follow up appointment.

AFM I've been downregging for a week and a half now and hoping to start stims next week. I still have mixed feelings about it all but trying to stay positive.

Hope all the UK ladies are enjoying our mini heatwave!

 

[Mrs W 11]

Welcome optimistic, sorry that you find yourself here but it's a supportive group!

How is everyone doing? Loving the weather in the uk at the moment!!

Loads going on with me, we've moved out of our house and we are due to complete on our new house in 3 weeks!! Can't wait!! Also finish my job in 4 weeks so having the summer with my dd and then in autumn need to think about work, maybe setting up my own business! Oh and I am due to start down regging this weekend!! See you at the top hat clinic jaybo!!!!

Xx

 

[Jaybo]

Hey Mrs! wow sounds like you've been busy! Hope the move is going smoothly. That will be lovely to have the summer off to spend time with your family and get settled into your new place.

Good luck with starting downregging this weekend. Very exciting!

 

[beneathmywing]

Mrs, Yay for downregging!

 

[Mrs W 11]

Hmmm having read my pack I'm not down regging, duh, I'm just starting the pill!! So down regging in 2-3 weeks then right?!

Where are you guys in your cycles or cycle plans? Xx

 

[beneathmywing]

Hmmm having read my pack I'm not down regging, duh, I'm just starting the pill!! So down regging in 2-3 weeks then right?!

Where are you guys in your cycles or cycle plans? Xx

Not sure how that works as I never down regged with my fresh cycles.

I will be taking my last bcp tonight! Started Lupron on Thursday. Next appt is Thursday and then I'll start estrace.

 

[Jaybo]

MrsW - I didn't take the pill this time but last time I took it for a full cycle before I started downregging last time. If in any doubt give the nurses at the clinic a call they're really lovely and always happy to help!

I've been downregging for just over two weeks now and about to start stimming. So, egg collection will hopefully be in a couple of weeks providing I respond okay to the medications

How is everyone else doing? Sending virtual hugs all round

 

[Mrs W 11]

Are you not doing long protocol this time then jaybo? I was told I had to take the pill first..... I can't believe that for 2 women of the same age with the same issue we are being treated so differently at the same clinic?! Bizarre!

 

[Jaybo]

I know Mrs I think it's bizarre too! I am doing the long protocol just without the bcp so straight into downregging then stims. What stims/dose are you on this time?

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi everyone

Optimistic hope you're doing ok also that you get some answers and/or some closure on this past cycle at your upcoming wtf.

Mrs W, wow you have been busy! How exciting moving into your new house and enjoying quality time with dd. Hoping for the best for you for this cycle.

Jaybo hope stimming going well. Hoping all the very best for you too.

BMW, all the best for you too!!: Hope your lining and hormones are behaving perfectly.

Lizzie and Nobump I hope you're both doing good.

Afm, not really sure how I'm doing On one hand I think I'm steadily progressing towards childfree acceptance but there's still that part of me that wont let go of the fantasy of being one of those miracle (mythical?)women who stop trying and get preg. Just hoping if I keep on moving towards living a fulfilling life I'll focus less on what might have been and end up being ok.
In none ttc news I have a 2nd interview in couple of weeks for a new job. It's working with disabled children. Really hoping I get it but also wondering if working with kids is the most stupid idea I've had lately, all things considered.

Lots of love to everyone (stalkers, posters etc)

 

[Jaybo]

Hi Comfy - hope you're doing ok. I think it's a long process coming to terms with infertility and unfortunately like the diagnosis and treatment itself is a roller coaster of emotions. You probably said already but I can't remember are you seeing a therapist?

Good luck with the job interview! It sounds like a fantastic job. I work with young families and I love it, although I'm not going to lie it is sometimes hard when you're trying to come to terms with everything, and I have thought about looking for something else because of it, but in the long-run I've found the rewards do outweigh the difficult moments.

Hope everyone else is ok.

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi Jaybo, thanks for the interview well wishes. Had intended to be prepping for Monday but been suffering a killer af (grrr etc) so that's been getting in the way. Hopefully I'll be more focused tomorrow.
I was going to a therapist but she was meant to ring me quite a few weeks ago to arrange an appointment and I haven't felt inclined to chase it up myself.

I'm thinking of selling my family-friendly car and buying a sports car. Not sure if that comes under 'coming to terms' or 'midlife crisis'! It would definitely help to stop dh buying junk off ebay if he can no longer borrow my car to collect it!
I'm also looking at rehoming some battery chickens. Love the thought of them pottering around my garden enjoying their retirement.

Although af caused the usual pang of 'what might have been' I'm doing ok and that's probably the best I can hope for at this point in my infertility experience.

Hope everyone else is doing ok too.
xx

 

[nobump]

Cc fingers crossed for your news. Hope you get the job. Sports car sounds fun.

Sorry not posted much. Holiday was fab. But past month has been tough. Gran has been in hospital and has now passed away and her funeral was last week. Service was lovely. Almost every time we visited in the past year she would ask when we were going to start a family. She never retained that it wasn't possible. It put me off visiting I just felt a failure.

We have decided against fostering. Think we are coming to terms with a child free life. We are lucky to have nieces and nephews to spoil.

Mrs W house the new house?

How's everyone else doing?

 

[Comfycushions]

Thanks nobump. I'm feeling super nervous now about interview! Please continue keeping your fingers crossed!

So sorry to hear about your aunt. I'm glad the funeral went well though.
i'm lucky in that none of our relatives have ever asked about us having a baby. I think they must wonder though.

I'm sorry you find yourself in the situation of getting your head round the idea of living child free. I'm planning to look again in next couple of months at the jody day book. I think some of the exercises in there will help but for now burying head in the sand seems to be an effective coping mechanism!