Who is the father??

[Lillie321]

Thanks for taking time to read my post. Please don't judge me as I'm really upset about this. Basically me & partner separated a few months ago, however we got back together on Friday 3rd April and bd every few days. A couple weeks later found out I was pregnant however I had a one night stand on Tuesday 31st march.

Iv had 3 scans so far, 1 for dating & 2 for early confirmation due to problems. The first scan put conception at Friday 10th April (which I was pleased about as that put the one night stand out the picture) the 2nd put conception back to wednesday 8th April (which I was gutted about as narrows the window slightly) and the 3rd which I know is most accurate as was my 12 week scan put conception at Tuesday 7th April.

This leaves a 7 day gap between conception & the one night stand... How likely is he to be the father???

Any support & advice would be greatly appreciated as I just want to be happy family with my partner but I can't stop thinking what if

 

[MyFavSurprise]

That is a really tough situation to be in and I understand as my son's father could have been one of 3.. It turned out to be the one that I had been with the most and the most recently at the time. I think you have a much better chance that the father is your partner based on dates and frequency. Sperm is supposed to live up to five days at most

 

[Tanikins]

Its not overly likely but dates can be out and sperm can live 5 days. Id get a dna test to be sure

 

[dollyminxture]

I think it's meant to be within 5 days, as sperm die after then so hopefully it's definitely not the one night stand. Hope it all turns out well for you x

 

[Jessicahide]

Its difficult to tell 100% because of late or early ov and how long sperm can survive the important thing is that the baby is yours, and as long as you are honest and get a DNA for the bbby asap I think it will all work out fine xxx happy and healthy 9 months xxx

 

[Heather.1987]

Also keep in mind the scans can also be +/- 6 days off. I would do a dna test once baby is here. There is no way of knowing at this point.

 

[WantaBelly]

What exactly are they saying is your due date based off your last menstrual period?
When was your last menstrual period and did you have any implantation spotting at all?

 

[stacey&bump]

No once can judge you you didn't do anything wrong , these things happen all the time , like everyone is saying there is no definite way of knowing until ur baby's born and u can get a DNa test. Does ur partner know there's someone else in the frame ? My advice is to be honest with him and if he loves you he'll be there and you's can face things together . I really hope it's your partners baby , thinking of you

 

[Lillie321]

Thankyou all for your lovely comments & support. I so expected to be judged for my carelessness. The one night stand happened on a girls holiday unfortunately. Tbh it was a drunken disaster & I'm hoping the deed wasn't finished properly! (Wishful thinking I suppose lol)

Anyway my first day of LMP was 22nd march & this occurred on CD 10.... started sleeping with partner from CD 13. I do have PCOS & generally cycles are around 35 days apart however never spot on!

My dating scan gave me EDD of 29th December which puts conception at 7th April (CD 17)

Thanks again I really support all your advice during this difficult time. Partner completely unaware & needs to stay that way

 

[Jessicahide]

No one can judge you, you didn't lie or cheat, you did nothing wrong......

 

[minty]

Bear in mind the scans can be inaccurate, I had ivf so knew exactly when I ovulated but despite this my due date was bought forward 5 days due to baby measuring bigger at 12 week scan.

 

[Spudtastic]

hello

I really feel for you in this situation as pretty much everybody I know has made mistakes etc and it's just unfortunate that this has happened for you.

I have long cycles too - on average 35 days long usually ovulating around cd19-21.
Whilst there is a chance that the one night stand could be the father I think it's more likely to be your current partner. Definitely a dna test is the only way to make sure.
How is your partner likely to take the news? Do you think he would like to be a part of the baby's life if the one night stand has the super sperm? Just a question, I hope you don't mind me being too nosy. You don't have to answer those questions.

 

[ttc bubby no2]

I think it is very unlikely that the one night stand if the father as generally sperm can live for 5 days and even that is quite a stretch. If you were BDing ever second day with your partner then his sperm would have had the best chance of fertilising that egg.

Also all my scans have measured ahead even though I know my O dates exactly.

 

[bdb84]

No judgment from me.

While no one can definitely say your one night stand didn't result in this baby, my money would be on your current partner. You do owe it to him to let him know that there's a slight chance this baby is not biologically his, though.

 

[Lillie321]

Thanks all.

The only reason I told him I was expecting his child was due to the early scan which dated me at 7 weeks and put conception to Friday 10th April. This cut the one night stand out the picture But then my dating scan put me ahead & put conception to Tuesday 7th which threw me right out & has completely devastated me.

I know the odds are still slim at 7 days after it occurred however it is killing me the thought. If I tell him I even went with anyone else I would lose everything!! Home, family everything iv worked for. Even though he left me months previous, he would not be with me if he knew I had been with someone else! & if everything turned out ok & baby is his, iv told him for nothing. Xx

 

[gemstone]

sounds like you're having a right time of it bless you. I do think it's your partner. But there is a few different variables it all depends on when you implanted that can happen anywhere from 6-12 days after conception and also when you ovulated. And scans can be anywhere from 6+ days and -6 days so going off the scan alone is hard to say. I 🙏🏻 this works out for you Hun and you get the best out come for you and your partner. The only true way of knowing is a. Dna test when baby is here. All the best hunny xx

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I completely understand that as I have been in a similar situation.. most men would not be able to handle the news and it would make the pregnancy very difficult as he would not want to be involved in nearly the same way or at all... Other people may disagree with me but I really think you could continue through the pregnancy without telling him because chances are very strong that your baby is his, and I believe you will know who the biological father is once your baby is born and you can handle it then if you have suspicions. My boyfriend at the time took a DNA test from the Internet, just a quick swab in the mouth at home..got the results in about a week.

 

[WantaBelly]

It sounds like it is your boyfriends. I'm just throwing this out there but there is a DNA test that can be done while you are pregnant. Look up Natera, they also do panorama and miscarriage testing but you will find they do DNA testing while you are pregnant as well.

 

[Blu10]

This is a hard situation but i think its only fair to tell your partner. My DH found out that his daughter wasnt his after 9 years and its devastating, it would be horrid to have any skeletons in the closet years down the line. Good luck xx

 

[squirrel.]

What a horrible situation you're in. Just to say earlier scans are usually more accurate than later ones. I think the most accurate time for scans is around 8 weeks. Even by 12 weeks some foetuses can be ahead. With my daughter I know when I ovulated and my first scan at 7 weeks was spot on for that date. However, by the time I got to my dating scan they put my due date ahead 6 days. That would have been impossible and would have seen me getting my BFP at 3dpo by their dates. So for me the 7 week scan was way more accurate.

Good luck, I hope this doesn't become too stressful for you!