will be soon taking a break :(

[Aliciatm]

if no bfp this month i will officially be done and taking a break from ttc for a while... sorta sad but im tired of crying over all this crap... im just gonna focus on my marriage and school. so just wanted to let everyone know goodluck ladies.. when af starts for me ill be gone for a while

 

[rdy4number2]

Alicia,

Will you try not trying not preventing? Or do you just need a complete break?

rdy

 

[mom and ttc]

sounds like you were just really getting into knowing your cycles and are you poas addicted will you ntnp?

 

[Aliciatm]

I tried a break for 6 months never worked then either I'm just so disappointed nothing is working and I'm trying so hard to be strong but every cycle is just pushing me down I've started resenting my family who hate me anyways but one of them is pregnant and she doesn't deserve to be it's like I'm not good enough I've started giving up on myself I feel like a failure as a woman and it's not a good situation

 

[Louise N]

Oh Alicia I don't know what to advise but I hope you get your bfp this month

 

[happigail]

Some times a break can be a really positive thing on the body xxxx

 

[Aliciatm]

thanks... it means a lot louise. and happi... yeah i guess.. 5 years is way long.. im going to see a fertility specialist in march of next year.. im really hopeful that i will get my bfp this month if not i guess its break time.. and im gonna give up until my appt.

 

[rdy4number2]

Alicia,

If it makes you feel any better, I had never been on the birth control either until after I conceived my daughter when I was 18. I think sometimes it just takes our young body time to mature enough for a baby. Your bump may just be right around the corner.

rdy

 

[scerena]

Hi Alicia I said exactly the same thing today in a thread I made about giving up! It can be so sad and disappointing and it takes over our lives- I'm praying for you that you get your bfp this month you really deserve it!

My fingers are still crossed for you- if you need to chat just let me know Hun x

 

[Aliciatm]

Thanks it gives me hope that's what dr said he said my body could just now be starting to act right so he said give it a year but made the ds appt bc obgyn said he still thinks I have a low chance of conception

 

[rdy4number2]

You said you have one blocked tube right? You never know. You may not have gotten pregnant yet simply b/c you are not ovulating. Once you go to your app. with the specialist he should help line you out with that.

rdy

 

[Aliciatm]

Yeah but it's gonna be more complicated thank just prescribing me chlomid my endo is aggressive my on said it will probably be blocking other tube by next year... Idk everything is just horrible news I can't have a baby. I can't have family who support me and loves me ( meaning like mom dad etc) ( not my husband ) I can't have friends to talk to because everyone has mostly moved out of state so I'm screwed

 

[Enasni453]

It sounds a little strange to me that your doctor wanted you to wait a year since your endo is aggressive. It sounds even stranger to me that you'd be willing to break from TTC. Why waste your chances? Or would birth control temporarily stop the endo? I'm sorry, I don't know much about endo. I still think that macrobiotic diet is worth a try though

I remember you talking about all the fertility aids you'd just ordered and reading TCOYF and everything, so don't you want to give it all a fair chance?

I hope I'm not offending you. I'm just confused. Remember you always have the friendship and support of us strangers on the internet Good luck with testing this cycle, looking forward to hearing the result.

 

[prettynpink29]

I just want to say I am sorry you are feeling this way Aliciatm. You were here for me when I need someone, I am here for you too. PM me. If there is one thing I know, it is endo..

 

[Aliciatm]

i know i really dont wanna give up... i know this is what im suppose to do... my husband lifted my spirits... and its amazing the strength and impact one person can have... im now re energized to take on the rest of the year until my appt for ttc... we all have bad days... and i just wanna say if it happens yay if not then it will.... my dr is dumb... he is a poor excuse for an obgyn...

 

[Enasni453]

I'm glad you're energized ^_^ If you're unhappy with your doctor's decision, you always have the option of getting a second opinion.

So, when are you testing?

 

[Aliciatm]

well tomorrow but it will probably be to early so tomorrow, the the 11th.. then wait to see if af shows is no and yeah there aren't many good drs here who take my insurance

 

[PrincessJ_x]

Hiya hun, I really do hope you get your BFP this month..
My AF is due 13th-15th depending on how long my cycle is this month.
Ive been basically NTNP but guessing OV for 8 months and feel shitty about that, I cant imagine how you feel.

FX'ed for you, really hope you get a BFP

 

[Aliciatm]

im just nervous... and idk.. idk if i feel preg. if im symtom spotting.. its like half of me really thinks im preg.. other half doesnt... i really feel like it might be my month because i never feel like this.. i really feel like i have the flu except without the fever it is so weird and strange.

 

[PrincessJ_x]

Every time I worry about the two week wait and symptom spot I never think I am pregnant. Feels like my mind plays tricks on me, making up symptoms. The more I think about it the more symptoms I seem to get! I never actually test, I just wait and see if the which shoes up.

I tested once when I thought I was pregnant and cried my eyes out It was like something had been taken away from me, without me actually having it. Ever since I decided not to test. Its Fathers day soon which makes me super excited and hope we all get BFP's! Totally forgot about it until I was reading another post.

Should take your mind off things, but I suppose its easier said than done! I've started watching desperate housewives from series 1 just to take my mind off things and get carried away

Do you think youve dont enough this month to secure your BFP?