Wishing, wanting, waiting.....TTC for a year PLUS!

[honeybee28]

hello

tryfor I HATE Paul Young!! He's nasty. the one i watched last night, there was a riot on the street, and Gabby had been writing a letter to Grace which got found. How far ahead are you than me?! Love it!!

i cant thank you girls enough for the support you've given me, love you all so much xxxx

 

[tryforbaby2]

xoxoxoxo

Thats the one that played here on sunday night! BUT I feel asleep and didnt see the rest!

What happened after Juanita found the letter?......

Paul Young is attractive to me haha but he plays a vicious character!!! I think Mike Delfino is HOT HOT HOT!!!!!! Bow chicka wow wow!......

Whoa.....getting all sweaty now....better call the hubby to come home to







I am on a roll today! I called hubbers and told him he better start schnuckling me tonight!




Going out for Chinese will the hubbers for lunch....gotta get my arse into gear!

 

[Dee7509]

Tryfor and everyone else. Hope everyone's fine.

 

[Ejay]

Go for it Tryfor

getting cold here, it was even snowing today, really hoping that it doesn't settle, got to drive down to Guildford on saturday to pick up our puppy.

 

[tryforbaby2]

Dee!!!

Ejay, I am going to throw him around tonight!

 

[honeybee28]

lol! Mike is HOT! I him. Susan is one lucky lady. Juanita bolted out into the street, and hid in the gay mens' car. The riot really kicked off and people were smashing the car up, she was crying so the gay estate agent one got in the back of the car to look after her. Then Gabby and Carlos saw her and went to get her out, and she was crying and calling Gabby Mommy (i burst into tears at that point - seriously, survived all the comments about letters to babies they'd lost etc, but that pushed me over the edge!!)

but, no tears today! yey me. 2 glasses of wine though.

everyone, how ya doing?Xxx

 

[tryforbaby2]

awww.....man I wished I seen the rest if it! I was so sick on sunday I couldnt function long enough to watch it.

Mike is SEXY!!!!! Woop! Woop!

Congrats on the no tears today.....some days are good, some are so-so and some are tough....really tough. But we will make it through just fine.

Enjoy the wine, for all we know we could get pregnant really quick!!!

 

[honeybee28]

I agree, there will be good and bad days. I think christmas will be tough coz we were planning on telling everyone then. I'll we ok. We'll be ok, we'll be great. There's no reason why we shouldnt get knocked up this cycle!! You have an RE appointent booked right? Worked for you last time!!

hope everyone has a good day and weekend. I have company this weekend so might not be around much but i will still be thinking of you!!xxxx

 

[Ejay]

Tryfor, hope you weren't too rough with OH

Honey, have a good weekend, drink all the wine you want, after all it's friday!!!

Hiya Dee hope you are well x

I have nothing i watch on TV at the moment all my fave series have ended, getting ready for the christmas bonanza of "back to the future" again, the adventures of sinbad, and numerous renditions of Dickens Christmas story!!

You just gotta love TV in the UK

 

[tryforbaby2]

I told him Ejay that we must must must try to dtd every single solitary night of my fertile period this cycle.....I really hope we both follow through and I hope it does the trick! And does the trick for all of us!!!!

I will be due for af on my sisters due date Jan 7th....I believe unless my O changes I am not sure of the testing date yet but I am hoping to get my bfp this cycle as its the last cycle before my January 22nd due date with Jordan

In a bit of a crap mood today. One friend announced her second pregnancy last week on facebook and another friend annouced today that she is due with baby #2 in July. Just so bummed.

But whatever right? If its meant to be then it will be right?

Then why do I feel like crap

 

[MyTurnYet]

Honey, I just came on to check on you, and am so, so sad. It seems so unfair. I don't know what to say to make it better, but want to let you know I'm here.

I'm here for you, too, tryfor...your message below made me really sad, too. The FB messages make me insane. I have friends on their 2nd pregnancies already since we started trying and it's just so painful. I'm worried I'll never know what it's like to be a mom. AF, which is regular for me like clockwork, came 2 days late for me this cycle and I got all excited and even had a plan to announce to DH. But then 2 BFNs and 2 days later and AF arrived. I don't know if I'm delusional, or what. Had a complete breakdown today, but it felt good to cry it out. I think I've been bottling up the past couple of months.

I don't know how I turned this around to talk about me, guess I'm being self-absorbed today, but wanted to let you know that I don't know entirely how you both are feeling but understand that gutted sense. I had a loss (ectopic) nearly 10 years ago and still think about it all the time. Moreso now that we're TTC.

Love you both very much. I know that sounds weird, but I really feel like I do!

Everyone else, I'll read and catch up, soon. Love you all, too!!!

I told him Ejay that we must must must try to dtd every single solitary night of my fertile period this cycle.....I really hope we both follow through and I hope it does the trick! And does the trick for all of us!!!!

I will be due for af on my sisters due date Jan 7th....I believe unless my O changes I am not sure of the testing date yet but I am hoping to get my bfp this cycle as its the last cycle before my January 22nd due date with Jordan

In a bit of a crap mood today. One friend announced her second pregnancy last week on facebook and another friend annouced today that she is due with baby #2 in July. Just so bummed.

But whatever right? If its meant to be then it will be right?

Then why do I feel like crap

 

[honeybee28]

I love you too Jill.xxxx we've been together for a so long now, and i think we've all been trying for so long that it's impossible not to feel disappointed, worn down, whatever, depressed etc. I guess we just need to have the belief that we will get there one day. It probably wont be within the timescales that we want, in fact, it's already not for me. but we will all get there one day. I think these things happen when we stop worrying about it and stop trying. easier said than done!!!

afm, i took the pill yesterday and starting passing some chunky clots bleurgh. just brown spotting now, so if not much happens after the pesary tomorrow, im considering myself done. will leave it another week then do an hpt to check.

hope you guys have a good weekend. Love you all.xxxxx

 

[Moondance]

First off, apologies to everyone for staying away.

Secondly... Honeybee sweety... I am so so so so so sorry about what happened. Its gutted me knowing that two such beautiful women as yourself and julia have had to go through such a horrible experience. And after so long of trying. It sickens me to think that the world is this way. That women who do drugs and screw around and drink and smoke and are horrible people, can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and not even care for their children, whilst the girls in this thread have so much trouble.

As for me... I haven't been away from here because I've been extremely out of it. Depressed, miserable, hating life. My DP has broken up with me. Completely and utterly. After he first made a comment to me about parting ways I got upset and wrote on my facebook page "wanted: one lesbian woman who will want to be with me. I'm over the male species, my first boyfriend, tosser, my best friends ex, tosser, last years ex, tosser, current boyfriend? Doesn't want to be with me anymore because I have KITTENS and sleep with my dogs on my bed. Oh well, screwit, at least I don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore"

Obviously, I was unhappy and in a bout of anger am just saying whatever crap comes to my head to vent. WELL... his daughter somehow saw it and all hell broke less. He got hellishly angry with me because he's a really private person, and the stuff about trying to get pregnant was supposed to be between us and not the whole world so he isn't speaking to me at all now. No reply to text messages, no reply to facebook messages, he won't take my calls.
I messaged him saying "so what, now we can't even be friends?" and he wouldn't even reply to that.
It's like he hates my guts over something so goddamn trivial. So yeah, completely over.

Only thing I can say is.... I got at least ONE awesomely amazing thing out of my time with him. The most gorgeous horse on the planet. From now on, HE will be the only man in my life.

 

[honeybee28]

oh golly moon!!!! What a nightmare. Are you ok (as can be) sweetie?xxxx

 

[Moondance]

oh golly moon!!!! What a nightmare. Are you ok (as can be) sweetie?xxxx

Hey, you shouldn't be worrying about me, what you went through and are still going through is 10 times worse than anything I could be going through right now.
I'm keeping busy.

The stupid thing? About a week before my now ex dumped me, my 17 yo best friend (yeah, odd that I'm 29 and my best friend is 17, but anyway) her boyfriend dumped her. And she has nowhere to go, so now she's living with me. My brother has now developed a thang for her, which she is completely oblivious to. And even though he's developed this thang for her, he won't touch her as much as he wants to because she's only 17 and he's 33, so now he's being a complete prick to her, trying to get her to stay away from him, coz he wants her so much.
The whole thing keeps you busy.

And I have my kittens, one of whom has been very very sick. We thought she had cat flu and have spent the past week panicking about the other kittens catching it, as we haven't had the money to get four kittens vaccinated yet...

And there is my horse, he hurt his leg somehow doing something and has been off work and in the meantime turning into the biggest fatty. But SO beautiful.

And I'm also looking forward to my new pet that I'm getting myself for Christmas. Something I've always, always, always wanted, but I never got because boyfriends/partners whatever, hated spiders. Now I'm single and whatever, I'm getting my first Tarantula. So I've been setting up the enclosure and all for my new baby. Weirdly, they're called "slings" when they're young. I guess its sposed to be short for "spiderling" or something.

I am actually considering swearing off men altogether and hooking up with a female right now, as I've always been bi-curious. I know that probably offends the die hard religious people here, but thats me. I used to go to church too. Until they started condemning me for feelings that I couldn't change. And then they said my sister had the devil inside her because she came out.
No compassion. Nothing. They said she had the devil inside of her and she would burn in hell for the choices she was making. I quit church after that.

 

[SquirrelGirl]

Gigantic crap balls! I just wrote out a big reply, and then my laptop battery died!

Anyway, short short version..... It sucks that we all haven't gotten the one gift we wanted this year, but I hope we can all make it through the holidays and be thankful for what we do have. I'm trying to keep from anxiety about the family get together with my OH's side get to me. I'm going to have to pretend to be a beauty queen or something, just keep a fake smile on my face..... We'll see how it goes!

Jill, I've missed you!

 

[tryforbaby2]

Honey, I just came on to check on you, and am so, so sad. It seems so unfair. I don't know what to say to make it better, but want to let you know I'm here.

I'm here for you, too, tryfor...your message below made me really sad, too. The FB messages make me insane. I have friends on their 2nd pregnancies already since we started trying and it's just so painful. I'm worried I'll never know what it's like to be a mom. AF, which is regular for me like clockwork, came 2 days late for me this cycle and I got all excited and even had a plan to announce to DH. But then 2 BFNs and 2 days later and AF arrived. I don't know if I'm delusional, or what. Had a complete breakdown today, but it felt good to cry it out. I think I've been bottling up the past couple of months.

I don't know how I turned this around to talk about me, guess I'm being self-absorbed today, but wanted to let you know that I don't know entirely how you both are feeling but understand that gutted sense. I had a loss (ectopic) nearly 10 years ago and still think about it all the time. Moreso now that we're TTC.

Love you both very much. I know that sounds weird, but I really feel like I do!

Everyone else, I'll read and catch up, soon. Love you all, too!!!

I told him Ejay that we must must must try to dtd every single solitary night of my fertile period this cycle.....I really hope we both follow through and I hope it does the trick! And does the trick for all of us!!!!

I will be due for af on my sisters due date Jan 7th....I believe unless my O changes I am not sure of the testing date yet but I am hoping to get my bfp this cycle as its the last cycle before my January 22nd due date with Jordan

In a bit of a crap mood today. One friend announced her second pregnancy last week on facebook and another friend annouced today that she is due with baby #2 in July. Just so bummed.

But whatever right? If its meant to be then it will be right?

Then why do I feel like crap

Oh Jill!!! Have we missed you!!! I hope you are doing better after the witch ordeal. I hate when she is late more than when she's early! Whats the ttc plan for this cycle? Thank You for thinking of honeybee and I. I think (honeybee correct me if I am wrong) we both we a little naive to miscarriage ever happening to us that when it did it happen it was a total shock and a great disappointment.
However, we have all of you wonderful women on this site, that if it werent for the support and kind words you all have given us and we have given you, ttc/mc/ttcal wouldve been even more difficult.
As honeybee mentioned on another thread, 'everyone deserves to have at least one child' and I believe that whole heartedly! You girls will all get there soon.....just a matter of when.

This sounds bad, but when I had my miscarriage in July, we had a BFP explosion in here right away. Niamh, Mushmouth, Nixlix and LuckyD and Tanikit. Since there is only so many of us in here I wonder if we will all finally get a bfp (a healthy one too) and move on out of ttc together???

Wishful thinking, I know. I have a date with the big guy above tomorrow about all of you girls and I. I am going to pour my heart out to Him and hope he hears my requests.

Its not silly to feel 'love' for each other. Weare practically family!!!!

Busy day today girls....have a birthday party to help someone set up for PLUS we have to stay for the party. I have to buy my Christmas Ham and foods, and run to the dry cleaners.....Talk to you soon!

I love you too Jill.xxxx we've been together for a so long now, and i think we've all been trying for so long that it's impossible not to feel disappointed, worn down, whatever, depressed etc. I guess we just need to have the belief that we will get there one day. It probably wont be within the timescales that we want, in fact, it's already not for me. but we will all get there one day. I think these things happen when we stop worrying about it and stop trying. easier said than done!!!

afm, i took the pill yesterday and starting passing some chunky clots bleurgh. just brown spotting now, so if not much happens after the pesary tomorrow, im considering myself done. will leave it another week then do an hpt to check.

hope you guys have a good weekend. Love you all.xxxxx

I hope everything is speedy so you can ttc right away.

What you said above is beautiful and alot of times, honeybee, you inspire me!

Love you lots!!! xoxoxo

First off, apologies to everyone for staying away.

Secondly... Honeybee sweety... I am so so so so so sorry about what happened. Its gutted me knowing that two such beautiful women as yourself and julia have had to go through such a horrible experience. And after so long of trying. It sickens me to think that the world is this way. That women who do drugs and screw around and drink and smoke and are horrible people, can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and not even care for their children, whilst the girls in this thread have so much trouble.

As for me... I haven't been away from here because I've been extremely out of it. Depressed, miserable, hating life. My DP has broken up with me. Completely and utterly. After he first made a comment to me about parting ways I got upset and wrote on my facebook page "wanted: one lesbian woman who will want to be with me. I'm over the male species, my first boyfriend, tosser, my best friends ex, tosser, last years ex, tosser, current boyfriend? Doesn't want to be with me anymore because I have KITTENS and sleep with my dogs on my bed. Oh well, screwit, at least I don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore"

Obviously, I was unhappy and in a bout of anger am just saying whatever crap comes to my head to vent. WELL... his daughter somehow saw it and all hell broke less. He got hellishly angry with me because he's a really private person, and the stuff about trying to get pregnant was supposed to be between us and not the whole world so he isn't speaking to me at all now. No reply to text messages, no reply to facebook messages, he won't take my calls.
I messaged him saying "so what, now we can't even be friends?" and he wouldn't even reply to that.
It's like he hates my guts over something so goddamn trivial. So yeah, completely over.

Only thing I can say is.... I got at least ONE awesomely amazing thing out of my time with him. The most gorgeous horse on the planet. From now on, HE will be the only man in my life.

Holy Canoli!!! Moon, my gosh! I figured you two would have worked things out. Well in my opinion, if he cant stick up for you then he doesnt deserve you. Time to hop on the dating train again!!! We will be behind you 100%!



Be back on soon gotta get errands done!!!

 

[Moondance]

Dating train. Yuck. I never was the kind of person who dated really... And right now I'm just not interested in being hurt again. I would rather focus on the one thing that I do love, that doesn't hurt me for no good reason. My animals.

My horse is so beautiful. Every day when I go to feed him, I lean my arms on the fence rail and lean over the fence and smack my lips like "kiss kiss" and he comes over and brushes his nose against my lips for a kiss. Then I tilt my face and say "kisses?" and he whuffles my cheek with his lips.
No matter how sad or screwed up I am, that always makes me smile.

And my kittens are so precious, especially my younger one, Chia. She's so darling. They're both the most cuddly things you can imagine. Completely adorable.

And my dogs, they're just always there for me and I love them to death.

And of course, the new addition coming is going to be so awesome and fun!! I love Tarantulas!


ETA:
Finally he texted me back. I had texted him trying to say "Can't we at least be friends? I'm wondering how your new puppy settled in? Are the chickens okay?"

Days ago I sent that. The reason I ask about the chickens is that they were mine but I needed to get rid of them as they are majorly attracting rats and the rats are doing a LOT of damage! So he took them in when we were still together.
Finally got a reply last night, him saying that the chooks were fine and he hasn't heard from any of his kids. So his family (meaning him and his kids) have been torn apart seemingly because of me, because they can't deal with him being with someone other than their mother, especially they can't seem to deal with him wanting another child to another woman, so they've done the dirty on their own father and he isn't dealing with it. He loves his kids with an undying love.
I figured once ages ago that if it ever came down to his kids or me, he'd choose his kids, and thats whats right, they are his blood. But at the same time, it still hurts like crazy.
I just don't understand why GROWN UP offspring need to react this way. I mean, my dads girlfriend? She's an evil, nasty, horrible person. I have to deal with her crap on a daily basis, so I KNOW what she's like personally, and thats WHY I don't like her. His kids have never met me, they're basing everything they know about me off some random comments on my facebook page and they're hating on me for no reason. I would have thought better from late teens/early 20's.

 

[honeybee28]

thanks julia you're such an inspiration to me too.

Yeah, I was so naive. I thought as it's taken a year to get here, no way will i lose this. So the shock was pretty harsh. I think it was softened by the 'feeling' that something wasnt right for a few days beforehand, i was bleeding so much i just knew it wasnt normal. plus, i know this sounds crazy, but i 'saw' noodle leave my body on the sunday, two days before the scan i had. so i knew he was 'gone'.

i have to say that my husband has been so amazing. The thought that we will get that same baby back on day really keeps me strong. Love him.

Jill ive missed you too, will you be around a little more now?! Hope so!!!!

oh golly moon, thinking of you. where did you meet your OH in the first place?

xxxxxx

 

[Ejay]

just typed a long reply pressed the wrong blooming button and lost it all.

Ok got to remember what I said.

Myturn, welcome hun, so nice to see you here

Moon - so sorry life is so crap at the moment, I completely agree that our animals are so wonderful at healing those hurts. Hope you have some fun time with your horse. A tarantula wow!!!


Honey - heres hoping the worst of the yucky stuff is over. I so agree with what your OH said in your journal about noodle waiting for the perfect body, I just know that is true

Tryfor - love you hun xx

Well we made it home yesterday after nearly 8 hours battling round the M25 and the M1 because of the snow, Megan our new puppy is settling in really well