Worried about infection after loss and ERPC at 14 weeks PG

[allmuddledup]

Hiya Poppy, I'm so glad to see you on here. It has been such a rubbish day. So sorry to hear your bleeding is back again. How was your doctor appointment today? We are so in the same boat. Spotting hasn't started again yet for me today but I'm just waiting for it now. I keep getting little twinging cramps that I don't trust. It would be the perfect way to end such a bad day. Seriously. Sending you big hugs. I can fully sympathise with wacked-out hormones. Am sending big big hugs to you.

Funny you should mention it, I did think about asking the same GP I just saw to do a referral but I think I should be careful how I approach the issue. I don't want them to think I am shopping around the GPs just to get them to do what I want (though it's severely tempting). My main GP is lovely and hopefully would make the referral anyway but I don't know if I have to stand the test of time again (unable to conceive for x amount of time, for example) or not. It was too late by the time I got the call from the consultant's secretary to talk to the GP office today. I think I will wait till Monday and see what the scan and swab test results yield before hassling them again. I have been to the GP more times in the last 3 months than I had in the last 3 years total. I'm worried about being seen as a pest or a hypochondriac. Oh, I think too much. Maybe I should just ring them tomorrow and ask to have a chat with my GP or the one I saw today and see what they think. Couldn't hurt, right?

Well, I'm off the straight and narrow again and just tossed back a couple of co-codamol (the first in almost 2 days). I could pretend they were for the headache that's coming on but who am I kidding, I just want something to take the edge off of reality right now. A drink on top is even more tempting but probably a seriously bad idea. My OH would not approve (though he loves a drink at the end of each day himself) as he knows it's not my usual style and that I don't have much self-restraint once I get going. Oh, but how the rum is calling to me...

I hope you are faring better Poppy. Haven't heard from Suze today... Hope she's holding up alright.

 

[poppy666]

Hmmm i think you should bite the bullet and ring the GP tomorrow... Thats what they paid for right?

I didnt go to the doctors i chickened out, i find it so hard to talk about my feelings and how low i am i thought it be much harder with a doctor i didnt know, but then i regretted it so made another appointment

I just want my body and mind back not much to ask after what we all been through is it?

I really hope Suze ok too im sure she'll be on and im glad you logged on you had me worried

 

[allmuddledup]

Oh Poppy, I know it can be really hard to ask for help when you are feeling down. I am the-queen-of-not-asking-for-help sometimes (and then when I start sometimes I can't seem to stop. lol.). I'm glad you rescheduled the appointment. Is the appointment on Monday with a doctor you know? Whether you know the doctor or not, I don't think you will regret it if you can just get past the initial barrier of going and speaking up.

It might help if you think about what you'd like to achieve as a result of speaking with the doctor (Do you just want someone to listen as a one-off? Do you want them to refer you for counseling? Do you want to try anti-depressants? Do you want advice on how to help yourself feel better without drugs or counseling? Do you just want some reassurance that you aren't batty? Do you want the physical side of things sorted out so you will feel more normal? All of the above?). Once you've got it clear in your head what you want to achieve by talking with the doctor hopefully you will be able to brave the hardest bit which is getting there and asking for help in the first place. You can always PM me as well if you want to chat off the boards.

It's definitely not too much to ask for your health back so you can get back to enjoying life and not feeling like you are coming apart at the seams. It will probably help a helluva lot once your body is back on track. Apart from the pregnancy loss, having your body misbehaving has got to be messing with your head. I know it's messing with mine!

They may be able to give you an injection of progesterone or something to force your cycle to reset considering the bleeding has gone on so long. There are probably other things they should do first though (like a scan or exam to make sure there isn't something besides wacky hormones causing the bleeding). Fingers crossed so tight for you! xoxoxox

 

[allmuddledup]

I think I am going to stumble to bed now (or to my pillow rather, I'm already in bed). Thinking of you my friends. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit brighter for all of us.

 

[Suze]

Hi I'm here, thanks for your concern - after work I collected Ava from my Mums, did tea and bath and then she wouldn't settle (teeth) so I had a bath and only got to sit down half an hour ago

Ellen I'm pleased you had a good appointment with your GP and it sounds good that your concerns about the spotting etc are being listened to and that you're going to get a scan to see whats going on. It'll be good to see if they can give you an insight into your current situation re ovulation etc too. It was nice that she asked to see your picture of Gerri too, I have actually never shown anyone Joe.
But then your later call wasn't so good That's really annoying that you have to be re-referred just because you got pregnant with Gerri in the meantime I would certainly get back to the GP you saw today as that seemed to be positive and perhaps they can speak with the consultants secretary about honouring the appointment you already had. It does seem particularly unfair that you have to go right back to the start just because you had a pregnancy loss. Perhaps the secretary was just sticking to their 'policy' and once your GP has had a word then it might be back on...I'll keep everything crossed for you.
Sorry you missed the call from the chaplain too, tomorrow WILL be a better day. Big

Poppy I'm so sorry your bleeding etc is still ongoing, it's just an horrible cruel reminder of what has happened that you could do without, both of you. I'm pleased you've got an appointment for Monday, if it gets any more concerning get yourelf seen before then though. It's a shame you don't have any confidence in your GP, do you know if there's anyone else you could talk to at your practise, like a female GP perhaps?

I don't know if you both got given SANDS info from the hospital, we did with Joe (they didn't bother giving me the leaflets this time as they knew I already had them ) and there's a local SANDS group that meets near here and I was thinking about going along sometime. Have either of you looked into whats near you?

So, onto better a better day for us all tomorrow

 

[allmuddledup]

Well, I spoke to my GP about the referral to the consultant. When I explained what happened she said she could make the referral again but it might get sent back (they do some serious gate-keeping in this NHS trust). When I explained about the blood test that the consultant had ordered that I never got done because of falling pregnant (it is one of those tests that needs to be done in the first few days of cycle) she said that she would rather order the test first and see what the results are before making the referral. So, I'm practically back to square one. If the test shows abnormal hormones (as seen in PCOS) then the referral will most likely go through and the problem will be dealt with. If my hormones appear normal on this test then I will most likely see no further help with the PCOS related problems I have faced in the last couple of years (long and irregular cycles in which I don't always ovulate, increased chance of miscarriage, insulin resistance, excess hair where I really shouldn't have it, and an increased likelihood of developing a myriad of other PCOS related health problems later in life). I am not too happy right now. OH has been prodding me all morning, trying to get me up and going. We are going to take a bike ride if I can ever pull myself together. He's promised to buy me an ice cream. I guess I'll pull it together now.

How're you ladies doing today?

 

[poppy666]

Arghhh sweetie you not had a good morning have you did you go on that bike ride? hope you did and hows the spotting?

Ive been out most of this afternoon collecting a careseat for LO he's 9mths now so needed a forward facing one. No spotting ALL day for me now just debating if to DTD tonight or not incase i spot again after grrrrrrrrrrrrr x

 

[allmuddledup]

Got a real surprise phone call this evening that really perked me up. I am now being booked in to see the very consultant that I was told just yesterday that I could not see without a referral. Apparently, when they went to book me in for my 6 week follow up appointment with a Gyne consultant the consultant they started to book me in with said 'hey, wait. She was being seen by Mr M before this happened, she should see him instead of me.' and so it now is happening.

In other news, I finally got to speak to the chaplain about Gerri's funeral which helped me get my head around what to expect. I also picked out the stationary I am going to write Gerri's letter on and also got a little soft toy to go in her coffin. It was really hard going into Mothercare to pick it out but I just had to get on with it. I started to cry a couple of times as I saw all the little things that I would have wanted to buy for her in life. Instead, I left with a single soft toy that I carefully inspected for things that should not be cremated (like plastic and metal). Never thought I'd have to think about things like that.

All in all, today has been an improvement over the rest of the week. My OH made me get up and out of the house (okay, it took till 1:30 to get me out but it happened!!) and we managed to walk to the shop, get ice cream, buy a chip shop lunch, go home and eat, fool around a bit , walk to the school and back to get my son, drive to Tesco and do a big shop, get home, make a quick dinner, get son to bed, and now we are looking forward to watching a little tellie before hopefully DTD. Yay!

We've had 5 days off while my body has goofed around with the spotting and the cramping (which btw started again after we had some mini-lovin' this afternoon) but I've concluded it doesn't seem like infection so I'm going to try to ignore it for now. I've got a scan Monday afternoon to see what's going on inside. Hopefully that will tell us something.

I'm very glad the day is almost over but not because it was a bad day, it wasn't, I'm just knackered!!!

 

[allmuddledup]

Poppy! We must have been posting at the same time. Really glad to see you here.

That's great news about no spotting today. Yippee!!!! Wish I could say the same, but at least I got yesterday off, right? Hah. I think you should go for it and get your lovin' on. We can't put it off forever for this pesky spotting. It doesn't sound like you have an infection which is really the biggest concern at this stage. I hope the EPU will be able to shed some light on what's causing it soon. Or even better, for it to stop!!

I'm off to bed now for my own bit of lovin'. Hehehe. Looking forward to it.

Goodnight and good luck.

 

[poppy666]

Great news about the consultant really glad you'll get seen now. Brought a tear to my eyes when you mention picking a soft toy for Gerri that must of been really hard especially in Mothercare but glad you didnt walk out empty handed

LOL you have had a busy day no wonder your knackered I think our cervix must just be sensitive if we're always spotting after DTD to be honest, im hoping the doctor scan's me Monday too.. thats bth of us Monday your in afternoon im there at 10am x

Just going to run the bath then early bed for me too... enjoy rest of your evening sweetie xx

 

[allmuddledup]

Aww, thanks Poppy. I hope your evening goes well too. Off to brush my teeth and climb into bed with OH, if you know what I mean. teeheehee. xoxoxo

 

[Suze]

Ooh good news about the consultant appointment Ellen, I got really annoye for you when I read the first bit but am glad to see it seems to have come good. You seem to have had a really positive day too which is great Hopefully you'll feel up to dtd later too
Poppy for no spotting today too, if you do dtd I wonder if you begin to spot again

I've had an OK day at work but it's starting to hit me about my due date on Monday. Thankfully I'm not at work and we'll have a nice family day but I think I'm just feeling so empty and sad Sorry for the downer girls

 

[poppy666]

Suze its understandable how your feeling and we'll be around monday for you if you need us too, but know its going to be hard for you

My friends daughter miscarried this evening she was 10wks bless her, its awful because me and my friend were both pregnant togethor 9mths ago, then i got pregnant again and 4wks after she did but we both miscarried, then she found out her daughter was pregnant after we miscarried now she has

 

[Suze]

Oh that's awful news Poppy, it hits harder when you hear of someone else miscarrying so soon after your own loss doesn't it because you know exactly how they are going to be feeling right now. Awful that both her and her mother have miscarried, hopefully they'll be able to support each other, although it would be hard having to be the strong one ie.the mother in that situation

 

[poppy666]

Totally right Suze, after i found out it took me right back to the day i miscarried wasnt nice x

 

[allmuddledup]

I'm so sorry to hear you are both feeling down, though it's fully understandable under the circumstances.

Suze, I'm glad to hear you have been able to cope at work. I am still dreading going back but thankfully I don't have to worry about it for another couple of weeks and there is still the option for me to stay off longer if I am not ready then. Right now all I can think about is putting one foot in front of the other to get through each day. Just wanting to get through Gerri's funeral in one piece then I will start focussing on other things. I hope that you are able to make a nice day with sweet memories on Monday. I know it will be incredibly hard. I can't even think that far in advance but I know it will probably be very difficult for me as well when I reach Gerri's due date, but what else can we do? As much as it hurts, our lives didn't stop when our little ones' did. All I can think is we just have to make the most of what we have right now. Gawd, that is so much easier said than done. I think you are doing a better job of it than I am Suze. I think, surely, Joe and Gerri would want us to be happy.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's daughter, Poppy. It must have been really hard for you when you heard about it as well. It doesn't even take that much to bring it all back. I think it's just going to take time, possibly lots of it, before it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Sadly, I don't know when that will be. TBH, I didn't fully get over my first two losses until I fell pregnant with Gerri. Now, I can't even picture that even expecting another baby will help with the pain I feel now. Time must be the ultimate healing factor but there still isn't a formula for when or how much it will take.

I'm sending massive hugs your way. Thinking of you both. xoxox

 

[Suze]

Hi ladies, how are you both today? Hope the wekend has been ok?

Ellen good luck with the scan tomorrow, what time do you go?

And Poppy are you going to the docs tomorrow?

And the spotting? I have had a tiny bit of light pink spotting today, it doesn't seem like the spotting i had directly after the erpc so I'm wondering if it's af on way...I'll be happy to get to know where I am in cycle but hope it holds off tomorrow..of all days for me!

 

[poppy666]

Hey Suze

No ive not spotted since friday so dont see point id be wasting their time now when some other lady more in need may need the appointment. As for af i dont know if last lot of light bleeding of 3 days was af or not pfft.

Just going to do NTNP till i know where the hell i am in my cycle x

 

[Suze]

how annoying for you about cycles and not knowing where you are. Are you going to do any opk's to see whats going on or just 'try' and NTNP? It's weird with that positive opk last weekend too

 

[poppy666]

Yep still doing OPKs, did one today very faint line.... those positives mix me up lol got one 2wks after mmc, then got one last week i give up

Think we all stuck in same boat x