Worried I will be disappointed

[Marie000]

This is my first pregnancy, and most likely my last. I still don't know the sex of the baby.

I'm ok with having just one child. Two would be nice, but my OH is dead set against it (he already has a son from a previous relationship). I've always imagined that I would have one child, and in my mind, it was always a girl.

The thing is, I'm not a girly girl at all. I also don't believe in strict gender roles. Boy or girl, I will teach my child to be kind and sensitive, we will play in the mud, learn about nature and science, learn to draw and do crafts, etc. I also don't plan to have much gender-specific baby things. I really hate how almost all children's products now are gender specific, especially toys. The whole 'princess' thing seems depressing to me. This is really, really not what I would want for my daughter.

So why do I want a girl? I'm not quite sure.
Maybe it's because I've never had a sister and always wanted one.
Maybe it's because I want to have the pride to have a strong, intelligent young daughter. I wouldn't be against girly interests, but I would love the chance to share other things too.
Or maybe I'm afraid that passed a certain age, a son would not look up to me anymore. He'll have a dad who will teach him all sorts of cool things (role-playing games, video games, science fiction...) and I will just be the one to feed him and clean up after him.
I'm also worried that his dad will not encourage a boy to be sensitive. On the other hand, I know he would be fine teaching his daughter to play in the mud and build things out of legos.
OH really wants a son. He's scared of ever having a teenage daughter who will date idiots (and all teenage sons are idiots, according to him). I think it's unfair... why be so worried about that with a girl and not about a boy?

Strange thing is, I have a nephew and a niece. I've always been much closer to my nephew. My nephew and I got along right away and always played together. Some of my best memories in life involve playing with him when h was little. Now that he's older (8), we're not as close. Then again, I've always had a harder time bonding with older kids, boys or girls.

So where does all that rambling leave me? I'm not sure. Rationally, it sounds like I would be fine with either a boy or a girl. But I'm still hoping for a girl, as I always imagined would happen. I'm so scared to be disappointed if it's a boy.
I'm also worried that my OH will be disappointed if we have a girl.

I guess there's not much to do now but wait and see (another month until the 20 week scan)

 

[Missy86]

 

[Guppy051708]

i get it hun, there is more to having a girl than frills, ribbons, bows, and pink tutus I think the majority of women want a girl because they can relate to girls but mostly because they want that mother-daughter relationship. You cant compare your feelings/realtionship with your nephew vs. your niece because it will NEVER be the same as the relationship you have with your child! But i highly suspect that the moms who do want a girl, is because they want that special bond. I have two boys and i love them to pieces, and maybe i will be closer to one than the other *(they are both under 18 months, so i dont know yet lol), but i still feel like part of me is a missing and i think if i had that mother-daughter relationship we would feel complete. I like pink things and girly things, but like you im also one of those moms that would love to see her get muddy at the park, go camping, enjoy fishing, play barbies and dolls, play with tonka trucks in the sand box, etc...i totally get it


are you going to be finding out what youre having or are you staying on team ?

 

[Marie000]

i get it hun, there is more to having a girl than frills, ribbons, bows, and pink tutus I think the majority of women want a girl because they can relate to girls but mostly because they want that mother-daughter relationship. You cant compare your feelings/realtionship with your nephew vs. your niece because it will NEVER be the same as the relationship you have with your child! But i highly suspect that the moms who do want a girl, is because they want that special bond. I have two boys and i love them to pieces, and maybe i will be closer to one than the other *(they are both under 18 months, so i dont know yet lol), but i still feel like part of me is a missing and i think if i had that mother-daughter relationship we would feel complete. I like pink things and girly things, but like you im also one of those moms that would love to see her get muddy at the park, go camping, enjoy fishing, play barbies and dolls, play with tonka trucks in the sand box, etc...i totally get it


are you going to be finding out what youre having or are you staying on team ?

Thanks.
I think you're right. Growing up, I was never close to my mom and I always wished I had a big sister. So I did miss that close mother-daughter bond and I wish I can have it with this baby.

We will be finding out the sex. There's no way I can be patient enough to wait until the baby is born.

 

[Guppy051708]

Lets us know how it goes!

we will be here to share in your joy, but also here o support you, ig need be

 

[Katia-xO]

i get it hun, there is more to having a girl than frills, ribbons, bows, and pink tutus I think the majority of women want a girl because they can relate to girls but mostly because they want that mother-daughter relationship. You cant compare your feelings/realtionship with your nephew vs. your niece because it will NEVER be the same as the relationship you have with your child! But i highly suspect that the moms who do want a girl, is because they want that special bond. I have two boys and i love them to pieces, and maybe i will be closer to one than the other *(they are both under 18 months, so i dont know yet lol), but i still feel like part of me is a missing and i think if i had that mother-daughter relationship we would feel complete. I like pink things and girly things, but like you im also one of those moms that would love to see her get muddy at the park, go camping, enjoy fishing, play barbies and dolls, play with tonka trucks in the sand box, etc...i totally get it


are you going to be finding out what youre having or are you staying on team ?

Thanks.
I think you're right. Growing up, I was never close to my mom and I always wished I had a big sister. So I did miss that close mother-daughter bond and I wish I can have it with this baby.

We will be finding out the sex. There's no way I can be patient enough to wait until the baby is born.

I'm the exact same! Good luck for your scan xx

 

[Rigi.kun]

My mother wanted girls, but I remember my cot being in a room with green walls, dark blue curtains with primary coloured dinosaurs on them. The two toys I constantly played with were a blue truck that you could open the doors and a crocodile that a broken squeeker in it. I asked mum if she thought I was going to be a boy, and mum said "No, I just didn't want a princess for a daughter" so I became a tom boy. Mum tried the same method with my little sister and my little sister is the most girly girl I know.

Good thoughts are going your way.

 

[EstelSeren]

I have always pictured myself with boys and was terrified of having a girl! One of the reasons that I decided to find out my baby's gender at the 20 week scan was because I really wanted to give myself time to sort my head out and accept it properly if I was expecting a girl so I could bond with her properly as soon as she was born! When I found out that I was probably having a girl I was disappointed. My husband told me that my face fell for a moment. I did cry, but it was out of utter relief as much as anything. I found that when it came down to it and I saw my baby on the screen, healthy and beautiful, it really didn't matter! I loved her no matter what because she's mine! Now she's almost 4 months old and I wouldn't have it any differently. I love her more than I thought was possible.
On the other hand though, I have a horrible feeling that I wouldn't want to ttc again so quickly if I'd had a boy and am scared of my reaction should I find out that I'm expecting another girl next time.

Beca :wave:

 

[ds0910]

I have always pictured myself with boys and was terrified of having a girl! One of the reasons that I decided to find out my baby's gender at the 20 week scan was because I really wanted to give myself time to sort my head out and accept it properly if I was expecting a girl so I could bond with her properly as soon as she was born! When I found out that I was probably having a girl I was disappointed. My husband told me that my face fell for a moment. I did cry, but it was out of utter relief as much as anything. I found that when it came down to it and I saw my baby on the screen, healthy and beautiful, it really didn't matter! I loved her no matter what because she's mine! Now she's almost 4 months old and I wouldn't have it any differently. I love her more than I thought was possible.
On the other hand though, I have a horrible feeling that I wouldn't want to ttc again so quickly if I'd had a boy and am scared of my reaction should I find out that I'm expecting another girl next time.

I am exactly the same way after finding out Thursday we are having a boy instead of a girl. Aside from the gender switch I could have typed this post ver batum! Still trying to wrap my head around a little boy, but like you he is mine and I already love him.

You will be fine either way Marie000! Promise Hope you get your little girl though!

 

[Mummy2B21]

Good luck at the scan x

 

[Marie000]

So my scan will be on May 2nd.
I'm excited.

I don't think I fear having a boy as much anymore. I've started to feel baby move and I heard the hearbeat again on Monday and I have just been getting more attached to him/her.
I've also been trying to find a boy name I like. I don't have a clear favorite yet, but I'm looking.
Also, I looked at baby clothes when we were out shopping and they had tons of really cute ones for boys. For girls, just about everything was bright pink from head to toes.

Ok, I'm still kind of wishing for a girl, but hopefully I wont be too disappointed if I have a boy.
I'll let you know after the scan.

 

[Guppy051708]

Im glad you have found a tunnel of hope
But im excited for your scan!!!

 

[Rigi.kun]

 

[Marie000]

Two more days until the scan.
I still kind of wish for a girl, but I've started to feel a bit guilty about it. OH would really want a boy. And my nephew, who loves me so much, is really hoping I have a boy. I understand him too... with one little sister and three girl cousins, he's feeling a bit outnumbered.
I would hate to disappoint him.

I don't know why I feel guilty though. It's not like I have any control over it.

Aside from that, I'm mostly nervous to find out if the baby is healthy. Once I have that, I think I'll come to terms with whatever I'm having. At least I hope.
If I could find a boy name I really love (and that OH likes too) that would help, but so far no luck.

 

[Guppy051708]

can't wait to hear how it goes!
have you seen the website https://www.behindthename.com/? its a fantastic baby naming site!

 

[Marie000]

Just came back, and we're having...


A GIRL!

I'm thrilled!
I think I would have been fine with a boy too, but now that's not an issue anymore. In fact, there's a small part of me that is sad that I will not have a son, but with just one kid, it had to be one or the other.

 

[Guppy051708]

!!!! So thrilled for you!!!! CONGRATS!

 

[try4girl]

Congrats. I am so excited for you.

 

[Rigi.kun]

Congratulations, glad to hear there is one less worry for you now. Absolutely lovely and exciting news.