would you do it all again???

[bumpsmum]

My lo is 5 months old today and I love him to pieces and then some, he is coming on so so well and whilst he's only 11lb 5 at 5 months hes a proper little boy's boy IYKWIM, lately I have started thinking about when to add to the family I really want to keep my little family close together in age so they have each other to grow up and play with I cant believe its already been 5 months so far!

Having Matthew for me felt like a miracle as we had IVF April 2008 that sadly ended in a bio-chemical pregnancy and then fell preg natuarally 3 months later without even trying now I feel super-fertile haha and hoping that no2 does not take another 3 years to happen.

I had severe pre-eclamsia which no one is sure was worsened by a pre-existing duplex kidney that may or may not have scarring making it weaker and after 2 weeks of daycare 3-4 times a week I was sectioned at 33+4 which was really scarry as many of you can sympathise and may have been in similar circumstances.

I have been reassured my chances of getting ill again with my next pregnancy as slim although would be high risk and need regular monitoring. I feel that having this experience has prepared me should complications arise in my next pregnancy but ther'es still a niggle at the back of my mind, although not enough to stop me from TTC again when Matthew is say 9month-1year.

Has anyone else began to think about plans for more children either soon or in the future and concerned about delivering early again?. All thoughts welcome x x

 

[Mumof42009]

I never thought after i had my 1st born prem that i'd ever go on that journey again but look at me now about to go on it for a 4th time been told i will deliver early but no idea when and how much longer i will go but im trying not to worry about what lies ahead. This is my last now as im being sterlised couldnt put my body through anymore.

 

[Bec L]

From the moment we had Poppy it has always been a niggle in the back of my mind that any future children we may be lucky enough to have may also be prem. At least with your first you can spend as many hours a day as you like (pretty much) at the hospital with them, you can't do that with another one at home.

We want to have more kids though so we're just going to have to hope that the next one stays in till at least 37 wks xx

 

[embojet]

I would definately have another baby, but of course it would be in the back of my mind that it would happen again.

 

[mamalove]

Mine were only 5 weeks early and didn't need the hospital stay,but i just felt so guilty afterwards ..like it was my fault they were born early. I still freak out about the smallest thing,and i keep thinking they will have long term problems because they were preemies ..so for me i think,the biggest problem is guilt i don't think i would cope as well second time around.
Luckily,for us the main pregnancy problem was the fact they were twins,so if it was a singleton pregnancy hopefully it would go smoothly.
x

 

[Lottie86]

No I wouldn't. My medical condition puts me at a high risk of problems including babies being prem and abruptions anyway plus I have also heard that you are at a higher risk of an abruption if you've had one before. I still have nightmares and flashbacks about what happened with Findlay and I don't think I could cope with the risk again as I failed to keep one baby safe to term and it wouldn't be fair for me to risk putting a second baby through it if I failed again. Plus like Bec said with a second preemie you can't spend all your time in hospital with them as you have baby/child 1 to take care of too.

 

[Bec L]

No I wouldn't. My medical condition puts me at a high risk of problems including babies being prem and abruptions anyway plus I have also heard that you are at a higher risk of an abruption if you've had one before. I still have nightmares and flashbacks about what happened with Findlay and I don't think I could cope with the risk again as I failed to keep one baby safe to term and it wouldn't be fair for me to risk putting a second baby through it if I failed again. Plus like Bec said with a second preemie you can't spend all your time in hospital with them as you have baby/child 1 to take care of too.

Is there anyone you can talk to about it hun?

 

[Mumof42009]

I have blood clotting problems which is the cause of most of my problems and had 3 placenta abruptions but didnt put me off having anymore im sure if you went to see someone they would reasure you and help you if you ever wanted anymore. I dont think im shelfish having another baby as i know the things that can be done to help them is amazing i wouldnt wish a premmie or my situation on anyone but i still have a right to have a child alot of people dont agree with this even the 1st consultant i seen didnt but i soon put him in his place. I lost a child at 13 weeks due to severe abnormalitys and i had that risk as well so far my pregnancy has been fine apart from few minor things i cant also think of the what if's.

 

[Dona]

I have only started to think yeah maybe...but I still think what if the next one comes out earlier than Archie (27 weeks), and what if it was way to early to survive...I'm still raw about the whole experience and getting treated for PTS. Might think about it in a few years time. xxx

 

[Bec L]

I have only started to think yeah maybe...but I still think what if the next one comes out earlier than Archie (27 weeks), and what if it was way to early to survive...I'm still raw about the whole experience and getting treated for PTS. Might think about it in a few years time. xxx

 

[AP]

i have no idea why alex was premature, perhaps the total stress i encountered a few days before might be a likely factor.

I am frightened that my OH will stress me again, yes.


but would i do the whole premmie thing again. I could. Because i dont know any different. Ive not had a full term. So i dont know what ive not had.

 

[Dona]

I have only started to think yeah maybe...but I still think what if the next one comes out earlier than Archie (27 weeks), and what if it was way to early to survive...I'm still raw about the whole experience and getting treated for PTS. Might think about it in a few years time. xxx

Aww thanks hun xxx

 

[bumpsmum]

a similar thread has popped up over in baby club talking about preg so soon after csec which a good few girlies in here prob had to go thru:

How Long Should You Wait To Get Pregnant After a Cesarean?
Despite a longing heart, you need to consider what will be safest for you and the new baby. Your body has just been subjected to brutal re-arranging. It will need time to return to normalcy before being forced to adjust itself once again.
The general rule for a post c-section pregnancy is to wait 18 to 24 months before conceiving. (This, by the way, is the same suggested time for women who deliver vaginally.)



The following story is an old family favorite, retold by my mother.
When my friend Margaret was pregnant with her first, her mother told everyone her doctor's name
was Dr. Obgin.

Puzzled one day after hearing her mother share this, Margaret corrected the doctor's name and
asked where she
had gotten that idea.

"Well," her mother shared, "that's what it says on the door. OBGYN's Office!"
Before you let that time frame overwhelm you, remember a few things:
Your body needs that time to get healthy and strong enough for another major disruption, i.e. giving birth.
Cesarean deliveries loose twice as much blood as normal vaginal deliveries. This may cause you to become anemic (have an iron deficiency).
That is not a good physical state to be in if you get pregnant, since iron is an essential mineral in a healthy baby's growth (especially in the first trimester).

If you've suffered the loss of an infant, pushing to have another may not allow you the time you need to properly grieve the first.
You will always carry some sadness, but not allowing yourself this time now could really hurt you (and your family) in the long run. If you feel you are emotionally ready to try again, speak to your doctor to moving it up.

If you feel you simply cannot wait the recommended 18-24 months before getting pregnant after a cesarean, talk to your OB-GYN.
Since "conceiving" and "trying to conceive" occur at different times, consult your doctor or midwife about when you should start trying to conceive. This is a personal decision you and your spouse should make with your doctor.

Risks of Having Multiple Pregnancies Close Together
There are at least two potential risks commonly associated with having multiple pregnancies in a short period of time. Studies have defined "closely spaced" as anything from getting pregnant 3 months after a C Section to nine months after a C Section.

Your baby has a higher risk of being premature. This is linked to the low iron count discussed above.

The chance of an uterine rupture is higher if you get pregnant after a cesarean within 6 months.
If you do get pregnant within a year of having a c-section, don't panic. Many mothers who are pregnant after a cesarean only 4 months previously have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies.

There are thousands of variables in play here: the healing of the first incision, your overall health, skill of the doctor, size of the baby... all contribute new and unique ingredients to the pot. Trust your doctor to give you good advice on the state of your pregnancy and don't worry (worry is bad for baby!).

 

[nkbapbt]

I have thought about it...and thought about it some more. I have always wanted more than one baby. But in other ways I am happy with just Lakai too...I am so torn. I am not as worried it would happen again since they believe it was caused by infection, my PROM. I am worried that should it happen again I would not be able to spend the same amount of time with the baby as I did Lakai, that would be too much for me.

 

[grumpymoo]

My lo is 5 months old today and I love him to pieces and then some, he is coming on so so well and whilst he's only 11lb 5 at 5 months hes a proper little boy's boy IYKWIM, lately I have started thinking about when to add to the family I really want to keep my little family close together in age so they have each other to grow up and play with I cant believe its already been 5 months so far!

Having Matthew for me felt like a miracle as we had IVF April 2008 that sadly ended in a bio-chemical pregnancy and then fell preg natuarally 3 months later without even trying now I feel super-fertile haha and hoping that no2 does not take another 3 years to happen.

I had severe pre-eclamsia which no one is sure was worsened by a pre-existing duplex kidney that may or may not have scarring making it weaker and after 2 weeks of daycare 3-4 times a week I was sectioned at 33+4 which was really scarry as many of you can sympathise and may have been in similar circumstances.

I have been reassured my chances of getting ill again with my next pregnancy as slim although would be high risk and need regular monitoring. I feel that having this experience has prepared me should complications arise in my next pregnancy but ther'es still a niggle at the back of my mind, although not enough to stop me from TTC again when Matthew is say 9month-1year.

Has anyone else began to think about plans for more children either soon or in the future and concerned about delivering early again?. All thoughts welcome x x

Matthew looks like such a cutie! To answer your question its early days for me, I had my baby 3 weeks ago at 33+2 and I don't really know what went wrong, I have to say at the moment I would be too terrified of it happening again, or going even more badly wrong. I am having a hard time getting my head around what happened at the moment but given time, who knows....

 

[Logiebear]

I have had 3 premmies now but my latest one was the earliest at 34 weeks. I had pre-eclampsia with the first 2 and my diabetes made complications worse with my 3rd premmie. I know I will not have any more due to my diabetes but I would risk the pre-eclampsia for the sake of another one as I love babies and that particular complication can be caught soon enough these days xxx

 

[AboutWee]

I was actually talking about this with my sister in law yesterday... about the chances of having another prem baby.
My little Flappy was born at 36 weeks, so not too early compared to some of the stories above, but definitely had its issues. I would go again knowing that it may be a possibility as I will be better prepared for what lay ahead. I'm also recovering from PPD, which came on as a result of many factors notwithstanding the fact that Flappy was prem.
My anxiety about having another prem would be high during the pregnancy & I would be tempted to take the later part of the pregnancy easier, but given I'll have a toddler to run after this is highly unlikely.
I hope that there was nothing I did to make Flappy come early (well, one of the midwives in hospital after Flappy was born suggested I was probably not giving my fetus enough nourishment... thanks for that). I definitely felt guilty for not having her full term & also felt as if my body had failed Flappy in a way. Months later I know
The one advantage of having a premmie is that developmentally, for the time being, we'll always be a little behind so we will not be competing at mothers group as to who does what first.
So, yes I would be afraid but I would know what lay ahead in terms of early baby as well as the joy we get after that initial difficult hump.
AboutWee

 

[MUMOF5]

Im worried about this one coming early. Evie was exactly 34 weeks and had IUGR. Each of my babies have come a bit earlier each time. I will find out at my 16 week appointment whether I need to be under consultant care or whether I can just be under midwife care. But the midwife did say at my booking appointment that I will most likely be monitored more closely and will prob have more scans too.

 

[bumpsmum]

Im worried about this one coming early. Evie was exactly 34 weeks and had IUGR. Each of my babies have come a bit earlier each time. I will find out at my 16 week appointment whether I need to be under consultant care or whether I can just be under midwife care. But the midwife did say at my booking appointment that I will most likely be monitored more closely and will prob have more scans too.

Hope everything works out well with this little one, next time I will have consultant led care at least youll feel reassured everything is being closely monitored and you have the experience of NICU care and wont seem as daunting should this lo come early x

 

[gingermango]

My little girl was born at 26+4 weighing 2lb 2oz, when I fell pregnant this time I was scanned every antenatal appointment until 24 weeks and had various swabs taken to check for infections. As I neared 26 weeks I was convinced I was going to have this one prem again and had everything ready to go, but 26 weeks came and went and Im still pregnant with 6 weeks to go till my due date. I worried about having another baby as I was told their was a higher risk of it being premature, but the antenatal care you get when pregnant after having a prem baby is amazing.
My only concern now is that Im going to have to push out a full size baby, and I'm guessing its gonna feel a little different lol
xx