Would you get offended...

[hello_kitty]

if someone asked you if you're gonna have anymore? We currently have 2 boys aged 4 months and 2 years. We plan on ttc no. 3 next summer. So my douche of a stepdad (never liked the guy) keeps asking me if I am done having kids. Besides him, no one has ever asked me that because its kind of common sense that with 2 boys we will try again hoping for a girl. I mean, if he only asked once I wouldnt be sooo pissed off but he asks the same darn question every time he sees me. Why cant he just mind his own business he has 5 freaking children to take care of and I only have 2 so why does he care if I have more or not ITS MY BUSINESS!

I told my husband this and he said "well next time you should be sarcastic about it and say you plan to have a dozen that will shut him up".

Will probably try that next time. I dont understand why I hate it when people that I hate asks me those questions!

 

[tverb84]

It would depend on who it is and how they asked. If I ran into someone I know and they asked I wouldn't be offended but if I was asked that all the time I would probably be annoyed and offended.

 

[hello_kitty]

It would depend on who it is and how they asked. If I ran into someone I know and they asked I wouldn't be offended but if I was asked that all the time I would probably be annoyed and offended.

And after I replied he went on to say "what if it's another boy?" Seriously? He deserves a whipping.

 

[kksy9b]

Personally I would be more annoyed than offended with it. But that's coming from someone without history with him.

 

[hello_kitty]

Personally I would be more annoyed than offended with it. But that's coming from someone without history with him.

If it came from someone else id probably be annoyed but since i hate his guts i find anything that comes out of his piehole offensive.

 

[kksy9b]

Personally I would be more annoyed than offended with it. But that's coming from someone without history with him.

If it came from someone else id probably be annoyed but since i hate his guts i find anything that comes out of his piehole offensive.

Again, I don't know your history - I'm sure there is reason to feel like you do. But holding onto that much anger only hurts you in the long run.If you let it build it will slowly seep into everything good in your life. I speak from a lot of experience with this and I hope you are able to move on and let go of it all. It's not worth your time and energy

 

[LavenderLove]

If I got asked every time I saw someone it'd get annoying really fast, but it'd only get offensive if say I wasn't able to have more and the person knew it.

Knowing me if it was an annoyance I'd end up giving sarcastic answers every time like your husband mentioned. "Oh yeah, I want 20!" "We're now thinking of 35!" "You know, 50 seems like a nice, even number." and so on.

 

[Hunbun]

I'm more annoyed by the people that look at me with a horrified expression after they find out I want another one. I always get the 'but you already have one of each!' comments.

I would just obviously change the subject next time and hope he gets the hint! It's not really any of his business!

 

[hello_kitty]

Personally I would be more annoyed than offended with it. But that's coming from someone without history with him.

If it came from someone else id probably be annoyed but since i hate his guts i find anything that comes out of his piehole offensive.

Again, I don't know your history - I'm sure there is reason to feel like you do. But holding onto that much anger only hurts you in the long run.If you let it build it will slowly seep into everything good in your life. I speak from a lot of experience with this and I hope you are able to move on and let go of it all. It's not worth your time and energy

I dont understand the concept of "letting go". Do you make peace and just get all lovey dovey with them because he sure doesnt deserve that. He traumatized my childhood (Thank God I didnt live with them, but for the little time that I visited he made my life miserable). Its a totally different story though and I'll save it for another day!

 

[hello_kitty]

I'm more annoyed by the people that look at me with a horrified expression after they find out I want another one. I always get the 'but you already have one of each!' comments.

I would just obviously change the subject next time and hope he gets the hint! It's not really any of his business!

lol thats exactly why I am glad I dont have one of each!

 

[ArtIsLife]

I would ask straight out why he is asking and say its rude and my own business.

 

[Pearls18]

No I don't actually, I have 2 boys, if I get put out it's if they ask if we're going to try for a girl, it's a stupid question and not something we have any control over, but I don't mind people asking if we're gonna have another (even though I know they're wondering if we want a girl lol) I think it's a natural question to ask and I have asked others before but admittedly only those I feel close enough to be able to ask, I wouldn't ask just anyone. It's funny we never got asked after having DS1 but we have been asked a few times since DS2, I do think it's because we have 2 of one gender though.

 

[Angel_blues]

I think it may have a lot to do with the fact that you dislike him. If it was someone you cared for, I don't think it would be a problem.

That being said, I think the best policy is to distance yourself from the conversations that irritate you and ignore what he says completely. Just don't answer and change the conversation.

 

[kksy9b]

Personally I would be more annoyed than offended with it. But that's coming from someone without history with him.

If it came from someone else id probably be annoyed but since i hate his guts i find anything that comes out of his piehole offensive.

Again, I don't know your history - I'm sure there is reason to feel like you do. But holding onto that much anger only hurts you in the long run.If you let it build it will slowly seep into everything good in your life. I speak from a lot of experience with this and I hope you are able to move on and let go of it all. It's not worth your time and energy

I dont understand the concept of "letting go". Do you make peace and just get all lovey dovey with them because he sure doesnt deserve that. He traumatized my childhood (Thank God I didnt live with them, but for the little time that I visited he made my life miserable). Its a totally different story though and I'll save it for another day!

No, not being lovey dovey- but getting yourself to a place where what he does and says no longer affects you. You can feel the anger towards him in your posts- and I'm sure that he deserves it. But that grudge doesn't mean anything to him...it doesn't change who he is or his life. But holding onto all of that does change you and it's not worth your time. I've been there- I have been hurt deeply by people I love and it shaped who I am, both in good and bad ways. It took me years to let go of the anger and hatred and once I did I felt so free. The things that happened no longer rule my life and I can move on with all the good things I've been blessed with.

 

[hello_kitty]

The thing that is annoying about all this is:

a. He's asked MORE than once! The first time I didnt think much about it I treated it like a normal question even though me and him are far from close.
b. He went on to say "what if its another boy?"

I have people that I am fairly close with and they dont even ask me because they know we will most likely try for another or maybe they just know its none of their business.

 

[Vicki_Cream]

Personally I would be more annoyed than offended with it. But that's coming from someone without history with him.

^^WSS.

My FIL keeps asking me if I'm pregnant yet with #2, which I find incredibly annoying rather than being offended. But I guess it would depend how he is saying it to you.

 

[Iveneverseen]

No It doesn't offend me, they are only asking.
what does bother me is when they ask and pass negative judgement on it.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I get asked fairly often (probably because I make no secret of the fact that I would fill the house with children if DH would let me ) and it doesn't annoy me, people are just curious and everyone wants to be first to know the gossip if there is any. Have you told your stepdad that it annoys you to be asked and asked him to stop? If so that would really annoy me and I'd just ignore him, if he asks why you're not answering I'd say that you have already told him you're not discussing it and you are tired of repeating yourself. I'm sorry he's stressing you out x

 

[Blu10]

We only have one and i get asked if i want a girl allllll the time! Erm no thanx just a healthy baby will do nicely lol