WTT til July but terrified...

[x-ginge-x]

Ok, I get married in July this year and I have a 15month old son, I didn't get the labour and birth I wanted and resulted in a C-section, in fact I didn't get a labour at all, not a single contraction and had numerous nurses putting pessaries in places they weren't welcome. They attempted the spinal 7, yup 7 times and every one failed, I was black and blue when I finally saw myself in a mirror Now I haven't been well since a stomach bug in november, and it appears I have developed IBS, I don't want my son to be an only child and I don't want to be a pregnant bride either ( I will already look like a whale as it is) but the thought of the morning sickness and the possibility of another induction and C-Section absolutely terrifies me to the core. After he was born I couldn't bond with him properly I struggled so much it was unreal, I cannot think back to the 'newborn' phase without bursting into tears the first few weeks were the worst of my life up until getting IBS and feeling really ill 24 hours a day! Its taken me weeks to pluck up the courage to sit here and type this, I have saved everything from my son as I didn't find out the sex so all of the newborn and 0-3 are neutral, I know I want two children but getting my head around it after being ill is soo hard. I'm rambling now...anyone else feel the same?

 

[Feb4th2011]

Hi! I can't say I'm in the exact same position as you... but I can relate to a lot of things... I had PPD after my DS was born and didn't feel that initial bond that so many speak of. It was devastating... I do have some anxiety when I think of the "first three months" with the next baby. Do you need to start trying so soon? Maybe waiting longer will help alleviate some of your axniety...
Are you sure its IBS? The symptom's for IBS are so similar to other things as well... I just went through a ton of issues with my stomach and gallbladder last year... it can be just terrible.
Keep your chin up xo. My friend just posted that she is pregnant with her 3rd and she has had IBS since we were little.
And just remember that you can always say no to any medical professionals if you are not happy or don't want a procedure done. The percent of woman who end up having c-sections because of induction is ridiculously high... its nuts!
I'm going to hire a doula next time around for sure... we did it the first time and it was a god send.
Have you thought about seeing a counselor or therapist? It sounds like you would definitely benefit from seeing one, it helped me immensely! It sound like your might be suffering from PTSD. I realize i just rambled off an million topics lol. Sorry im so scattered

 

[x-ginge-x]

Haha, I ramble all the time usually to myself though, never thought of PTSD but it could be possible, im currently going through the motions with the doctors faffing around, Im in the UK and I have never heard of anyone having a doula here, sometimes its tempting to go off the radar with my next pregnancy as its ridiculous with the percentage of interventions. I would like to get pregnant anytime after july its not a real rush, I feel scared and anxious but know that I will be fine, its just the initial worry of knowing how hard pregnancy is and how hard having a toddler is, but combining the two sounds crazy!

 

[Feb4th2011]

We were originally going to start TTC in July too although we just decided to start this month. I do not think we will have any luck on our own, but we are currently waiting for our referral to the gyno We had to use clomid to conceive DS. I'm scared shitless to have two little ones lol. I think we would be crazy not too! lol.

 

[x-ginge-x]

I have polycystic ovaries but I conceived my son without any help, tried with a previous partner for three years and didn't conceive me and fiance were together 6 months and BAM pregnant! Couldn't believe it

 

[bellaxgee]

Hi Ladies!

You are definitely not alone. My daughter is two and I still get upset thinking how my labor went. I was induced at 38 weeks. I got an epidural as soon as they broke my water because the contractions were one after another. After the epidural I couldn't feel the pain anymore but not being able to feel anything or move my legs made me FREAK OUT. I literally had a panic attack and I hate just even thinking about that feeling. In order to calm me down they pumped me with more drugs.

To make matters worse, my little girl was sunnyside up and her little nose was stuck on my pelvis bone so they had to cut me then I tore in another direction. Episiotomy + horrible 4th degree tear. So what'd they do? Gave me MORE drugs to stitch me up.

I was so drugged up that I couldn't even hold my baby until 3hrs later when the drugs wore off. It was heartbreaking. And they had to keep me on magnesium for 2 days after so I couldn't eat, drink or get up. It was torture.

I suffered PPD and still have pain from the tear. On top of all that I have suffered from IBS since I was 15yrs old and I know how painful/embarrassing it is to deal with.

OK....now that I got my rambling out of the way haha...we are going to start trying for number 2 in July and I already told my husband and mom that I will go the most natural way I can handle when it comes to labor. and I will be praying that I do not tear that way again.

 

[MamaFlick]

I also had an emergency c-section, unfortunlately I did get labor - 33 hours of it - before they finally made me get a c-section. My daughter got stuck when trying to turn from sunny side up, so you guessed it, I had back labor the whole time. I am also terrified of having another c-section and I have no choice but to get one (they don't do VBACs within 3 hours of where I live!). I had severe anxiety while on the table and they ended up having to put me under because my epidural wouldn't work as a spinal. Fun! My husband didn't get to be in the room, and I don't even remember the first moments I had with my daughter because I was so pumped full of drugs.

But I really want another baby, so I'm just going to tell myself positive things like...
1) At least I won't have to go through a 33 hour labor again
2) I get Norco! Yay!
3) I get an extra 2 weeks of maternity leave since I'm having a c-section
4) Baby! I can't wait to have another baby in my arms.

You could think of your own positive things and make a list. Maybe that will help.

 

[x-ginge-x]

My son was born at 11.09 i fed him for the first time at 3pm, i didn't wake properly until 6pm was awful, I desperately want a natural birth but I am also terrified as I don't know what labour is!

 

[bellaxgee]

I can't say that I've been through 'natural' birth because I was induced so I think that made the contractions worse. I would also desperately love to have a natural birth. I long for skin to skin as soon as my next one is born. and to just feel the natural bond!

 

[MMonroe8]

Waiting until July here! We just decided to go for it. Part of my problem was also the terrifying final few weeks of pregnancy and the emergency c-section. Almost developed pre-eclampsia, puffed up like a blow fish, bled three times in the last few weeks, emergency c-section due to placental abruption after a very brief induction - ugh. I've been telling myself that one is enough for years because I've been so scared to try again. I also found out I've got hypothyroidism; been treating it for 1.5 years now. (Wondering if I already had subclinical hypothyroidism during pregnancy and that caused the problems? Hopefully going through pregnancy with treatment for my thyroid will make a big difference.)

Point is, it seems like there are plenty of people with you when it comes to getting over the fear due to a bad experience. All I can say is what everyone keeps repeating to me: "Every pregnancy is different!"

 

[x-ginge-x]

Well we are supposed to be WTT but my partner decided otherwise the other night now it's a waiting game, maybe a semi unplanned will be better as I know I am over thinking everything!