You're knackered (?!) - rant

[leannehurren]

So.... Today was my first day back at work after 9 months - up at 6.15 to walk the dogs, dragged OH out of bed at 7.30 to feed LO and then a day full of office politics!

Now oh has suffered withr depression (post natal I honestly think!) and has been out of work for a while - making money and home life very fraught. Me going back to work is really make or break as I need him to prove to me that he can help and share the load. Anyway....

We get home from work (he now works part time too) and he decides that HE'sso knackered he needs to bed at 6pm and leave me to do everything! So I have fed, bathed and put Lo to bed. Made he lunches, washed up made bottles, played with dogs etc and haven't had time to even have a bath - MEN I could SCREAM.

Unless he is apologizing tomoro I don't want to hear him!!!

 

[happigail]

Men, can't live with them can't make babies without them.

 

[leannehurren]

So.....why do I not get many replies? Could really do with some sisterly support here!

He dragged himself outof bed 20 mins before we were due to leave this morning - needless to say I was not amused. Am truly scared that I am going to have to go it alone soon

 

[deafgal01]

Leanne, sounds like a talk is in order... Both of you need to sit down soon and talk this out- you need to let him know how you're feeling and hear him out. Find out why is he not pulling his weight around the house- is he waiting for you to tell him you need the help or what?

it does suck when men don't seem to do things to help us out around the house- especially when you do as much as you are doing. Hope things change fast!

 

[bumptobe29]

men r rubbish! im going it alone now, n honestly find it soo much easier!! only u and baby to worry about! sisterly hugs!! x

 

[mrs_park]

you deserve a medal sister!

 

[3011busyyear]

6pm!!! I wouldn't have let him. Put the Hoover on and make loads of noise

 

[Cat lady]

Thats not on really. Its tough being a mummy, a housewife and a career girl. Depression is a difficult illness to get over, your oh needs to get help. You deserve the support from him.
I have no doubt you could do it alone, but by getting through the hard times together will make you a stronger couple.
xxx

 

[Tink2312]

Definitely need to sit down and talk hun its not fair! I've historically suffered with depression and had it pre and post natal I'm now on anti D's and have been for 10 weeks.... as hard as I know it is when you suffer I am still up with the baby and doing all the cleaning, sorting the dog, cooking, shopping, general baby stuff etc etc and will be going back to work shortly (part time) OH works full time, does help around the house although not quite as much as I'd like but still, what I'm getting at is he needs to help himself his depression is not an excuse to not do things, he is a father and has a responsibility and should be laying the foundations now for how he educates and moulds your LO as they grow.
Definitely talk and be honest!
Good luck hun x

 

[Sazzoire]

I had a go at hubby last week.... every day, I sort LO out in the mornings, get her up, dressed, fed her, played with her etc etc.... hubby meanwhile lays in bed until the very last minute, rolls out of bed into his work clothes and then off to work. He does absolutely nothing to help me. Atm, I am still on Maternity leave so not too much of a problem. But last week, we had a dentist appt at 9am... which is alot earlier than we are used to being out. I was running around trying to get out the door with Lucy dressed and fed, while hubby watched me get ready whilst lying in bed. I was livid!! I kept hinting that while I was getting dressed he could get baby dressed... it fell on deaf ears. By the time he managed to get to the breakfast table... I was as mad as hell. 'What's the matter honey'.... he says. I let loose.

I said that things will HAVE to change when I go back to work... he has to help me in the mornings... he did agree... we'll see.

I think you need to have serious words with your OH. Especially if it could endanger your relationship.

In my experience.... it's a man-thing. My hubby is quite happy to be told what to do, step by step... but can't see what needs doing and when. It pisses me off but if that's what I need to do then I will. If I get called a nag in a few years.... I'll go mad.

To be fair to my hubby... he is great with Lucy when I need him to step up. Last night I was crying when he came home as Lucy had just projectile vomited all over me and her bedroom floor and I didn't know where to start in trying to clear it up.... he got straight onto it... bless him...

Good luck


xxx

 

[chetnaz]

This really gets on my nerves too. I struggle with 9 month old twins and a 4.5 year old all day, doing the school run, entertaining and caring for two babies, doing stuff round the house, then up every few hours during the night as the twins bf through the night and hubby comes home from an office job at 6pm and tells me HE'S knackered!!!!! arrrrrrrggghhh. Wish he could be me for a day, then we'll see who's knackered! And breatheeeee.....

 

[EverythingXd]

Wow, sending you I hope you get an apology... and maybe a lie-in your first day off work!

 

[pinklightbulb]

Men... they can be real plonkers sometimes. Kick him in the a*** and tell him his behaviour is utterly shit and not on and to pull his weight. Hope you get somewhere with him soon hun.

 

[katy1310]

Aww

The first day back at work after a fortnight's holiday is knackering, never mind after maternity leave AND doing all the things you've had to do! If your OH helped you could both get away to bed early rather than him going really really early and you being left to do everything on your own. xxxx

 

[Wants2bmummy]

Have you told him straight? Men are sometimes a bit rubbish at hints. I have to rattle out orders to my oh or he claims didn't know. I usually say 'before either of us go to bed WE need to do this, this and this'. I sometimes let him choose a job 'you can either hoover or change bedding'.

Has he been drs about his depression? Does he know you're at breaking point?

Big hugs xxx