★ October & November 2020 Hedgehogs ★

[Lissy_Sweetie]

@co_fostermom all going well, this will be baby 3 for me! I can relate to being a hormonal ball of emo, I’m crying at really daft things. All part of the fun of pregnancy

@Lissy_Sweetie how was the booking appointment over the phone? I’ve got mine next week and I feel like it’s going to be weird having it on the phone! Totally understand why it’s necessary. Hopefully we’ll get scan dates soon!

I was quite nervous at first about it but they were really lovely. I made sure I wrote everything down first so I didn’t forget and she just asked loads of questions about my history, my previous two births etc. It was about 45 minutes. She also took down my height and weight so I didn’t need to do it in the hospital. They’ve said the 16 week appointment will be a phone call as well now and they go through blood results etc then. Such strange times.

They also said I’ll be consultant led as my 2nd was such a big baby, so at least I’ll get more scans later on down the line .

Looking forward to Getting a date through, hopefully not too long for us both xx

 

[EmmaVH]

Sorry so much time between check-in's. Mostly I try to catch up reading everyone's updates on my phone but it's a pain to type out responses on it.

I had bloodwork drawn again yesterday [bonus I got to see bub again twitching along and heart just beating away thank god]. My TSH is on the rise again after we thought my supplements were helping So now we've added another supplement to try and help because no endocrinologist wants to see me until 12 weeks and I'm trying like hell to make it that far. My midwife also thinks I have the MTHFR mutation so we're switching my folic acid to methylofolate.

So just when i was feeling optimistic i got a dose of "calm down and worry a little". I hope everyone else is doing well!

 

[jellybeanxx]

@EmmaVH it’s good you’ve had the blood tests to know what you’re dealing with, especially knowing you need folate rather than folic acid. I hope you can get the TSH levels under control soon too.

@Lissy_Sweetie I’ll definitely make sure I get things written down before the call. They’ve asked me to make sure I know my height and weight. Weirdly, my 16 week appointment was the first appointment my GP surgery booked for me so I’ve got a date for that already. I imagine that will become a phone one too! From what I understand, other than for scans they’re mostly just seeing women in the later stages to monitor them. Strange times!

How is everyone else doing?
I’ve just been reading through the testing thread I was on when I got my BFP. It reminded me of the excitement and happiness I felt at the time. It’s hard not to get brought down by the nausea, exhaustion and pure worry of this time, it was a good reminder of how lucky I feel to be here!

 

[co_fostermom]

Jelly that's awesome. I bet that felt really sweet to look back on that moment.

I've officially gained 10lbs this trimester and I'm not okay with that. Would LOVE suggestions on healthy pregnancy recipes. Also, I found a doppler app that works perfectly. I did have to buy it ($5) but I'm amazed how well it works. It's called Tiny Beats if anyone is interested, though I'm not sure if it only works for iOS or if it works with android as well. It's best if you find your own heartbeat first and are patient with finding Baby's heartbeat but once you do it's unmistakeable.

 

[Fern81]

Co_foster I think I’ve also gained 10 so far. My scale doesn’t work properly but that’s going off the rate I was gaining when I last saw my dr and the fact that I’m emotional eating and not moving around. We’re not even allowed to go out for walks. I have started a food diary and am going to try to focus on protein, fruit and veg. But at the same time I’m depressed and feel like I don’t care anymore.

Our lockdown has been extended by 2 weeks. That’s 5 weeks total stuck at home 24/7 with this abusive husband. He is getting worse. I don’t have the energy to play with my son, fix healthy meals, work out; it takes everything I have to force myself to do the housework and my school work. I cry all the time. I don’t want this baby anymore. I know it sounds terrible but Idk how I’m going to cope with a toddler and small baby by myself. I am just temporarily employed until the end of the year. The plan was to raise the baby for 1-2 years (before preschool) while continuing with my studies so that I can get a full-time placement. If I am cut off financially then those plans are out the window. I’m going to have to burden my parents by moving in with them. I won’t be able to afford studying so I won’t be able to get a permanent placement (to enroll and complete my studies was the requirement when I got the temporary placement). I make very little money otherwise and it’s all going to go into raising 2 kids by myself. He already said he refuses to pay us a cent so I guess I will also have to get a lawyer to try to force child support out of him. I’m incredibly depressed and am constantly thinking about suicide. The only thing keeping me going is knowing I have a responsibility toward my son.

 

[jellybeanxx]

@Fern81 I am so sorry you’re going through this, I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be for you. Please don’t feel guilty for any of your thoughts and feelings, it’s all totally understandable. You shouldn’t be suffering this alone though, have you spoken to your parents? I know if this was one of my children, I definitely wouldn’t think of them as a burden and would want to do everything I could to get them out and keep them safe. I know the path ahead will be challenging for you but I really do believe you and your son will be much happier in the long run if you can get out. Please stay safe lovely and know you can always vent to us here. There’s never going to be any judgement for how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking.

 

[JessdueJan]

@Fern81 please speak to your parents. I know it seems awful and like it won't get better right now but I promise you it will. Once you are away from your husband I promise you will feel more positive and be able to think clearer. I'm not saying it will be easy but I it will be easier and in the long run it will be so so worth it.
Don't feel guilty for how you are feeling, it's totally understandable but I urge you to get away from your husband before making any decisions, he is bringing you down and making you feel worse. Once he is out the picture the future will suddenly look brighter.

Sending lots of love and hugs to you xx

 

[Pineberry]

Fern... please get out of there ASAP, hun. This man is sucking the life out of you, and emotionally/psychologically damaging your son in the process.

I know its SO hard to take that step and actually get out, especially with kids, but there is definitely no other option - this man is poison and belongs in jail. Please call your parents TODAY, as well as a domestic violence hotline. They WILL be able to help you. Also, call the cops and have them there while you are packing up and leaving to ensure he doesnt escalate (abusers are most dangerous when the abused one leaves).

If your parents knew what was going on, they will take you in and protect you in a heartbeat. And like Jess said, once that douchey piece of crap is out of the picture, things WILL figure themselves out and you will have a much better life ahead of you, with both of your sweet babies. Please please take that step and get out now.

 

[co_fostermom]

@Fern81 YES YES YES to everything Pineberry said and everyone else as well. Fern please don't apologize for your negative thoughts or emotional eating or any of it. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. And I know things seem super bleak right now, but I'm going to repeat everything everyone else said - things will work themselves out and your future will be much better if you get out of your current situation. Your parents raised you and if you have enough of a relationship with them now to be able to move back in with them then I promise they will understand. Even if it's a sucky situation at first, it'll be WAY safer than where you are right now.

Call the hotline, call your parents, and then call the cops when you're packing/ moving out. Also, call your doctor! She(?) said she would do what she can to help right? Doctors have resources that can help you, especially in the middle of a shutdown.

You're gonna get through this. Right now might seem hopeless, but you have your health and your son is healthy and your baby is healthy. Focus on one problem/ day at a time. Work on getting out first. Then you can focus on financial details, job, etc. Your safety comes first.

We're here for you Fern.

 

[Pineberry]

I came across this app called "Shell" that someone on another site recommended and it is basically a free doppler for your phone. Like the phone can literally pick up the baby's heartbeat. Tried yesterday and couldn't find the heartbeat, but when I tried again today, I immediately found it - you can listen in here

I think it's legit because you can listen to your own heartbeat with it, and when I put it on other areas of my body as well as random objects, the sounds were completely different!

Didn't think it would make me THIS happy to hear my little one. I was ecstatic when I found the heartbeat. Just knowing my darling is ok in there is everything.

 

[Flueky88]

Fern I agree with everything that's already been said. I hope that you are okay and I'm thinking of you.

Pine hearing the heartbeat is such a great feeling. I used my doppler last night again and found it. Such a relief when it's too early to feel fetal movement.

 

[jellybeanxx]

I’ve actually bought a Doppler this time! I’ve always been nervous of them but as I wasn’t able to get an early scan, I thought this would be the next best thing. I think I managed to find the heartbeat the other day. It was too fast to be my heartbeat so I’m hoping it was baby’s heartbeat!
I hadn’t even thought of trying phone apps for it, how cool that it works!

 

[Lissy_Sweetie]

I got my Doppler out last night - we’ve had it since our first so it’s quite old . Couldn’t hear anything last night but I’ve just done it now and heard the heartbeat . Definitely not my own as I checked the pulse in my neck at the same time just to make sure haha. So pleased - a bit of relief that there is a baby in there (you would think this being my third I’d be more confident but I’m actually worse this time, I think it’s because it took us a while ttc).

@Fern81 really sorry to read you are having such a difficult time. I don’t have any more advice than what the lovely ladies on this forum already have, but I really hope you find someone you can lean on such as your parents. Things will get better, just hang on xxxx

 

[Pineberry]

Well, confession time... I loved hearing the heartbeat so much that I decided to get the "real thing" and ordered an actual doppler myself - so I am joining that club Its the angelsound doppler and I got it for less than 30€. Should arrive in a week!

It is actually so cool that the three of you found the heartbeats with your dopplers already, at only 9 and 10 weeks! Wow!

Also @jellybeanxx what you said about reading back on older posts of yours when you got your BFP - omg I totally did the same a few weeks ago, was so cool to see the details of what I was going through and re-live the excitement! Another thing I do sometimes is look at my day-to-day progresses of pregnancy tests.. like the ones from 10 DPO that were sooo faint I wasn’t sure if it was real, then the ones from the following days. I just love kind of re-living the anticipation and excitement through these photos!!

I was just thinking now how curious I am about this thread when October and November come around. Like who’s baby will be here first, all the birth pics/birth stories to come, OMG! I’m getting so giddy just thinking about it. To have been on this journey with you guys literally since before you even got your BFP’s and seeing your little beans turning into full grown babes! It’s gonna be amazing!!

 

[co_fostermom]

Happy Easter everyone! Pineberry I love your enthusiasm. It totally just made me smile.

Fern I hope you are doing okay today.

Tiny Beats on iOS works amazingly too and now that I've listened to your baby's heartbeat Pineberry, I'm extra confident that what I've been hearing is my baby's heartbeat as well because they sound almost exactly the same. YAY!

 

[jellybeanxx]

@Pineberry that enthusiasm and excitement is exactly what I need right now! I also like looking back over photos of my tests. It’s so fun to relive it all!

How is everyone today?

 

[Pineberry]

to you both

Nothing much to report here! But here are two pics I wanted to share:



Feeling massive lately! Really noticed some crazy growth bump-wise in the last few days.

Also, bought this onesie from C&A and think it fits perfectly with our hedgehog themed bumper thread

 

[jellybeanxx]

@Pineberry that’s a lovely bump! Gorgeous little hedgehog outfit as well! I miss C&A, we don’t have them in the UK anymore. Great shop! I can’t wait to start baby shopping even though I probably don’t need much!

 

[co_fostermom]

CUTE bump Pineberry! And I also really want that onesie now lol.

Scan day tomorrow for me and first appointment with my new doctor. Hope all goes well!

 

[Catmumof4]

Hey all sorry been so long since I posted!

Fern I can't add anything extra but I really really feel for you and have been in a similar situation so I hope u can get out.

Hope you all had a good Easter. I'm not religious so don't really celebrate it in our house but I did make the most gourgeous roast lamb dinner with home made lamb gravy. First time iv ever made gravy from scratch was lovely.

Dopplers are amazing but pleeeease don't use them for anything other then fun. A friend of mine was having mild pains and reduced movements but because she could hear a heartbeat she didn't get seen and very sadly the baby was actually in distress and sadly didn't survive. I hate them now.
Xx