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Discussion in 'Pregnancy After A Loss' started by Hippielove, Jul 9, 2013.
I have DTD again...
And for me, it was amazing
Thanks Vietmamsie- I've been doing better emotionally and physically these past couple of days so I'm hoping that's a good sign. Hope your enjoying time with your family! You must be so happy to have them visiting
It's been a while since I've been around. Amber keeps me busy all day every day so to get on has been really difficult.
Things here overall have been an up and down rollercoaster these last few weeks. We've definitely come to find that she most likely has colic. I was in denial about it for a while because my husband was a colicy baby and I heard the horror stories from his parents. It's most likely from gas issues, which I did call her pediatrician on Friday to discuss it - we're trying gas drops and probiotics. She is breastfeeding 90% of the time with the other 10% of the time being a formula specific for colic/gas (given before bedtime). She let's us sleep throughout the night other than to feed 1-2xs, but the daytime is really difficult at times. I know some of you noted giving your babies gripe water, so I'd be interested in hearing how well it worked for you all.
I have my 6 week follow up on Friday, and am looking forward to finally getting an evaluation of how my healing has been below from the episiotomy. I'm in debate as to which type of contraception option I'll be looking into. I have a history of ovarian cysts (not PCOS thankfully), which was why I was on a more estrogen-based pill, but with breastfeeding it looks like I'd need to be on a progesterone pill. I might look at depo privera.
As for DTD...I still have no interest in it all. I have no drive, and have been feeling slightly distant from DH. It's partially from some financial stuff, but we haven't spent much quality time together at all since Amber has come into our lives. Plus with the episiotomy scar, I'm afraid of how things are going to feel since I've read it may hurt for a while.
Hoping everyone is doing well otherwise.
Sorry to hear that Amber has colic- that just sounds awful. I would not be able to take it!
My parents vist has been interesting... I don't really think they like babies very much and their calming techniques are very different from ours. they think she needs to cry it out in a stroller while we prefer to hold her and take a more active approach (bouncing, shushing, swinging, etc). They are really good with her when she is happy, but not so helpful when she's cranky. Unfortunately over stimulation and tons of outings has lead to many missed naps and delayed feedings. We have had a very cranky baby on our hands! 5 days in i had to take a step back and just ask them to come over when they want to see her and stay home for the most part. Wise choice and we all seem happier. I can't handle it when she cries, so this is much better!
My in-laws are coming at the end of June, I feel so worn out from my parents visit... I hope I have recovered by the time they come! She will be 3 months then, so hopefully it will be easier! Just need to get through this last few days!
I have started pumping off a feed a day to help build supply and make a little milk stash incase we need it. I actually don't mind pumping and am happy she takes a bottle! My mom has loved feeding her a bottle every few days too which is nice! When the leave I will have DH give a bottle now and again. She is a really big eater and can get through 3 oz in minutes... Then get right on the boob and keep on going!
Nights have gotten WAY better in the past few weeks. We were having crazy cluster feeding and crying until midnight for about a week around 3 weeks old. Since then we have only had one bad night and I have figured out how to settle her and stared a more predictable night time routine that helps a lot! Even through these cranky days since my parents have been here, nights have been good!
Hope everyone else is doing well!
Great to hear the updates!
Karina, the gripe water didn't do much for Elena. I tried infacol wind drops the other day and they worked well for the wind but I think they gave her a bit of reflux.
Hopefully the colic doesn't get to bad.
We were talking about DTD in mothers group the other day and the ladies that had natural births said it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be and one even said it was better! Lol
Vietmamsie, sounds a bit stressful having the family there. I've only had people stay for two days at a time and that was annoying enough. It's hard watching other people try to settle our babies. I try to tell them little tips on how I do it but they never listen and just keep doing what they want.
I'm glad the night times are better.
AFM - Elena has had a quite fussy 2 weeks. She's lost her appetite and is only drinking half her bottles twice as often so we are up and down all day but she's still sleeping great at night. She was much better today so I hope that means my well behaved baby is coming back.
Me and Elena
Lisa - thanks for the info about your experience with gripe water. I think if we actually give her the gas drops regularly like we should we'd have better results. I think it's a matter of us remembering to give it to her. lol And your pic is cute.
AFM - Decided to try out a mommy group in the area after hearing a few of you all trying them out. I'm not sure how I felt about the one I tried out at the hospital we delivered at. The group was way too big - maybe 25-30 moms with their babies. They did a round circle where everyone said who they were, baby name, where they're from, what's going well and what's not going well. The concept was pretty good, but unfortunately the mom's who are regulars there that know each other pretty well kept talking the entire time so you couldn't hear anyone else talk. It was extremely over stimulating for me, especially since I've been in the house for 6 weeks straight by myself practically.
They also did a weigh check thing, which we were curious about since baby girl hasn't had a check since her 2 week appointment. I was shocked as she hasn't gained much weight since that appointment (or at least not as much as I thought she would have). For being 6 weeks old she was at 7 lbs 14 ozs with all of her clothes on - her pediatrician usually weighs her completely naked. I'm just hoping the scale they weighed her on yesterday was just a little off because that would mean would have potentially only gained 13 ozs in 4 weeks. That seems quite low to me.
I also started developing issues with my left thumb last week. I thought it was just because I drove a long distance with her to go to my mom's place, but it's gotten worse. Upon looking it up it's call "Mommy's Thumb" (or technically de Quervain's tendonitis). I got myself a thumb/wrist brace yesterday and find it really odd trying to pick her up now. But at the mommy group yesterday I mentioned it as one of my issues and one woman there was big on me trying to treat it now as she has it too, but it's all the way from her wrist up to the middle of her forearm - her brace looked heavy duty. Anyone else having this type of issue?
Karina- Sorry to hear that Amber has colic. I hope it doesn't last long. Luke has some gas issues as well and we have been using the gas drops which seem to help. I haven't been to any mom groups yet, but I can see why a group that large would overwhelm you. I wouldn't be able to handle that! I've heard of mothers thumb, but haven't experienced it. Hopefully it doesn't cause you to much trouble.!
Vietmamsie- Glad to hear your nights are getting better. Are your parents still visiting? I can see how it would be hard, especially when they have different child care ideas. Good luck with your in laws visiting!
Lisa- Sorry to hear that Elena has been fussy, but yay for sleeping well at night Beautiful picture of you both!
AFM- feeling better everyday and have finally gotten outside the house a few times to the grocery store, mall etc. I've found that Luke has been a little fussy these past few days. He's awake more now during the day and fights sleep. The good thing about this is that he sleeps longer at night, but the downside is that I'm having to amuse him more throughout the day and can't seem to get anything done around the house! It's hard to keep a 4 week old amused! As for dtd, I'm def nervous about it. I have my check up with the dr in the next couple of weeks. Curious to see what he says. I know I don't feel up to dtd yet, so wondering what difference a couple of more weeks will make. For those of you who have dtd/been intimate, how did you feel about you oh seeing you? I'm having some issues with the changes to my body. If anyone else has felt the same, how did you deal with it?
Here's more of Luke's professional pics:
Lisa and Kasey - LOVE the pictures! Keep them coming! I am still posting on my tumblr everyday (https://themouseletandme.tumblr.com) so feel free to take a look!
On weight gain - Lucy was up exactly one kilo (2.2 pounds) at one month and I weighed her the other day on the scale with me, and it looks like she was up about 800 grams - right around 5.5kg. We won't have an accurate weigh in until her 2 month check, but I am guessing she will be at about 6kgs by them. She is a BIG eater and has grown a lot! She is out of all her newborn clothes and is in her three month clothes now.
My parents are leaving tomorrow, things got much better as the holiday went on... We got into a routine and the crying pretty much stopped. Also, Lucy has just grown up a lot! It is crazy how much they change day to day! She is so alert and active, curious and loves to look around. She has been fighting sleep during the days just so she can be around all of us... it is pretty cute when she goes down for a nap, but her eyes keep trying to stay open!
My parents baby sat for us twice so far and will again tomorrow. I will miss having some trusted people around to look after our girl!
As for DTD, we were told to wait until the 2 month point, so we have another week or so. I honestly haven't thought about it much... We haven't had much time together and I sort of forget what DH and I did before this whole pregnancy and baby thing... I just have a hard time remembering our sexual relationship and feel like out relationship has changed. We have never been shy around each other and he has seen my bodies changes and tells me I am beautiful every day, so that makes me feel better about my stretch marks, saggy belly, mothers apron, long scar and BLACK BELLY BUTTON. Yes, you read that right.... My belly button turned black after giving birth (it was purple when I was pg)and it has stayed that way. It is very strange, but does't hurt or anything. I have no idea what happened, but I think it was just stretched too far and will never be the same.
But long story short, we need to figure out where we are at as far as our sexual relationship and after the whole trauma of pregnancy and birth, I think we might have to take it slow for a while. But we honestly just don't have time these days! I don't know when we will!
Hope everyone is doing well, need to get some sleep... headed to my schools graduation tomorrow without Lucy, it will be our longest period apart yet! Need to get up early to pump and make sure she is ok before I leave her!
A little picture we took yesterday!
Beautiful picture Vietmamsie! Glad to hear that your parents visit got better! It must have been nice to have to get out knowing you had trusted babysitters there.
I hear you about your relationship changing. Over the past 5 weeks we've been so focused on Luke, adjusting to parenthood, and dealing with my c-section complications that I think we forgot about each other. Over the past few days though it's like we finally woke up, noticed each other and said "oh yeah, we're still husband and wife, not just Luke's parents". I think we're both making an effort now to pay attention to each other and not just Luke. It's nice to start getting some of that back, but there's no doubt that things change when you go from a couple to a family of 3!
We're also waiting on drs clearance before dtd. Thankfully my oh is also the type to remind me that he thinks I'm beautiful, but I still can't help but be self conscious about the changes to my body. I'm hoping that will get easier with time!
I think we still have one more week before we are officially dr. cleared to dtd. The more I think about it (when I have a second to think about anything other than Lucy!) I think I am ready... just not sure when or where it will happen with the whole bed sharing situation!
We had another new family of three over for lunch today... our girls are only 5 days apart and it was so much fun to see them together and take some pictures. I love visiting with other mom friends, we can just gush about our babies the whole time and no one looks bored out of their mind!
I will say that Lucy looked pretty big compared to their baby and she is the younger one. I guess my boobs are working alright... she seems to be getting plenty to eat!
Bed sharing could definitely make dtd tricky! We bed share sometimes too when he is fussy and won't settle. Mostly though, be sleeps in his bassinet. I guess you find time/space somehow!
It's funny how babies the same age can be so different. We recently had a friend visit with her lo who is about a week older then Luke. She was almost twice his size though! He isn't a real tiny baby either! It's amazing how quickly they grow. I see a change in him everyday. A couple of days ago he started to roll over from tummy to back. I don't know how typical that is for a 4 week old, but I was so excited!
Rolling over already! Wow! That seems really early! Lucy can't do that yet. It was funny to compare the babies - Lucy was so much bigger and seemed more able to see/track us as we tried to get us to make them smile. But her friend was so vocal! Lucy doesn't coo much, but the other baby was talking and moving her mouth non stop and LOUD!
Its fun to see the differences, but also you can't help but start to compare and worry that yours isn't doing the same things!
It's definitely hard not to compare and worry. I'm always googling to see if Luke is meeting milestones...or if he is eating, sleeping, pooping, peeing enough or too much, etc. lol. In reality of course it's not straight forward and all babies are different. My mommy friends all say they do the same thing so it must be a mom thing!
I thought 4 weeks was pretty early to roll too! He's had a strong neck though since he was just a few days old. I remember the nurses at the hospital commenting on it. His arms and legs now have gotten strong, so when he's on his tummy he lifts his head and seems to use his arms and legs to push himself and roll. He's not that vocal yet either. He doesn't coo, though we do a lot of talking to him. He smiles, but I think it's more involuntary. I can't wait until he gives us a big intentional smile and laughs! Nothing like the sound of baby giggles
Karina, sorry to hear that Amber may have colic, I hope you can find something that helps. We did try gripe water and found it helped for a short period of time, but it seemed to wear off quickly. In oour case it seems that the gas issues were due to Rowan swallowing too much air - it has vastly improved with changing his position when nursing, and burping him more frequently. I totally understand what you mean about feeling distant from DH, I am noticing the same thing. We've been trying to make an effort to pay more attention to each other, but sometimes its hard as Rowan takes a lot of our time and energy.
Lisa, I hope Elena's fussiness has continued to improve! Beautiful photo Your mommy group sounds nice - I think I should look into what's available around here.
Vietmamsie, glad to hear your nights are getting better! I'm still waiting for that to happen. I love all the photos of Lucy Shes a real cutie! Glad to hear your visit with your parents improved. I agree, it is hard when others have different ideas about what to do when baby cries.
Kasey, glad to hear you're feeling better and better! I don't get much done around the house either! Rowan has recently started enjoying lying on his back, and kicking and batting at toys (I hang them from the canopy on the pack and play) which gives me a few more minutes with my hands free. I know what you mean though, it can be hard to amuse them at times. Beautiful photos of Luke!!
As for DTD, we have not done that yet. I've been cleared by the doctor, but the biggest barrier is lack of time to ourselves.
Rowan is doing well, he's up to 9 lbs now and is starting to outgrow his newborn sized clothes He's started smiling and talking at everyone now, and he does this little pout lip that just kills me (I've attached a photo ). I've got to take him for his first set of shots on tuesday which I am not looking forward to! Has anyone done this yet, how did your LO's react?
Lindsay- Good to hear an update on you and Rowan. Glad he's doing well Luke doesn't get his needles until July 3rd...I have to say I'm not looking forward to it! Good luck...hope it goes well and doesn't bother Rowan...or mommy too much!
Love the pictures! Rowan is adorable! Great little smile and I can see why the pout would kill you! Sure would melt your heart!
Luke is just 5 weeks old today and already 10 pounds! He's too big now for newborn, but I find that some of the 0-3 month stuff is too big. He's a long and solid baby, but slim at the same time, so it's hard to find clothes that fit right.
Rowan is so cute! Love that pout too!
Smiles are amazing and make everything so worth it! Lucy smiles all the time... even though this little cold (mostly just a stuffy nose) she has had the last two days.
I am pretty sure Lucy is already 12 pounds. She was 5.5 kilos when I weighed her the other day... pretty massive!
Just had to share these "smile" pics! Your right Vietmamsie, those smiles make everything else worth it!